If you could save yourself,
you could save us all.
Go on living, prove us wrong.
Your leap of faith could be a well-timed smile.
Survival never goes out of style.
September 10th 2PM Saturday
"Where am I?" I mumbled weakly.
"You are at Sanctuary," Severus replied. "Can you open your eyes for me?"
My eyelids felt as if they weighed a ton as I attempted to lift them. After struggling for a few seconds I was able to open them and look around. I was in lying on the bed in Khalida's room, a thick brown blanket had been laid over me and the shutters were closed casting the room in darkness. Severus sat on a chair next to the bed, staring down at me wearing a small frown.
"Severus," I whispered, "what happened?"
"Do you want the long or short version of events?" he asked with a sigh.
"Short," I replied with a slight wheeze.
"With the help of the Brotherhood you were able to escape from New York along with Dumbledore, Khalida, Draco and Officer Wilkes," he stated, "Everyone, except for you of course, made it back uninjured."
"Where is everyone?"
"Dumbledore returned to Hogwarts," he continued, "Wilkes is resting in the living room and I must say he is taking everything quite well…considering. And I believe that Khalida and Draco are in the kitchen attempting to prepare a meal for everyone."
"And the Brotherhood?"
"They are setting wards around the house," he explained. "With you being unconscious they have been at a loss of what to do with their time."
I fought to pull myself up into a seated position on the bed. My arms felt weak and the room spun slightly as I struggled. After a few minutes of watching my attempts, Severus growled in annoyance and assisted me.
"Thank you," I mumbled and he nodded his head slightly as he sat down once again. "What's wrong with me?" I asked anxiously.
"We do not know for sure," he stated, "but we do have a few theories. One of them being that through your interaction with Hogwarts you became some type of conduit between the castle and your father. The reason you have been feeling ill and weak could be due to your own magical reserves being depleted, first by the castle and then due to your interaction with your father." I nodded my head in understanding.
"Where is my father?" I asked curiously and Severus shifted nervously. He opened his mouth to answer but shook his head. "Where is he?" I growled.
"Dumbledore has taken him to Hogwarts," he stated while staring at the floor in front of his feet.
"What?!" I exclaimed and began to push myself up off the bed in a blind panic.
"Please calm down," Severus pleaded as he held me down, "You are not yet well enough to exert yourself this way."
"Get…out…of…my…way," I said in the most threatening tone I could muster. It came out as more of a breathy stammering due to the intense exhaustion I was feeling.
"What do you plan on doing?" he snapped. "You can't even walk on your own."
I relaxed into the bed as I considered his accusation. He was right of course. I wasn't much good to anyone if I couldn't even get out of bed on my own. My eyes suddenly flashed dangerously as a thought came to me.
"Then I'll get the Brotherhood to help me," I stated and his eyes widened in fear.
"Are you insane?" he bellowed, "Draco told me what happened in New York and I cannot believe you would allow that kind of homicidal behavior. Not only that, but you would risk taking those…those beasts to a school full of children."
Memories of the safe house passed through my mind and I grimaced at the images of blood and death that were permanently embedded in my subconscious. I had no doubt that I would not be getting a good night sleep anytime soon.
"I didn't know they'd go that far," I asserted.
"Did Khalida not warn you before you summoned them?" Severus asked with a sneer, "Did she not tell you that they were blood hungry demons? Perhaps next time you should keep your dogs on tighter leashes."
My body suddenly tensed as another memory pushed its way through. It was the second-in-command looking down at me. I could even remember the exact moment that I recognized him.
"Did you know he was still alive?" I asked angrily and studied Severus' reaction. He appeared to be completely puzzled by my question.
"Did I know who was still alive?" he asked in confusion.
"Never mind," I stated simply. "I need you to find a member of the Brotherhood for me and send him here." Severus gave me an annoyed look.
"Why don't you just call him yourself?" he questioned, "I'm not your bloody servant you know."
"I don't know how," I admitted sheepishly.
"O for Merlin's sake," he growled, "Just ask for him aloud and he should come." I glanced nervously around the room.
"I don't want to say his name," I whispered.
"You don't need to say his name," he replied, "only his rank." I nodded and cleared my throat loudly while Severus rolled his eyes dramatically.
"Second in command!" I called out as loudly as I could. A few moments later the door opened and the Second slowly walked into the bedroom.
"I am glad to see you are feeling better," he said as he studied me closely. "Do you have new orders for us?" he asked hopefully and I shook my head.
"Leave Severus," I said softly while locking eyes with the Second.
Severus hesitated for a moment before he stood and brushed off his robes. He stopped in the doorway and glanced back as if he was having trouble deciding if he should actually leave me alone with the Brotherhood member or not.
"Leave," I hissed in a low voice and a moment later a loud bang echoed through the room as Severus stomped out, slamming the door behind him. "Sit," I snapped and pointed toward the chair next to the bed, "and take off that stupid fucking mask and cloak."
He nodded and made his way towards the chair. As he neared the side of the bed he removed the black cloak to reveal a simple pair of black pants, a white t-shirt and shiny black boots. The mask followed a moment later. He laid the cloak across the back of the chair but kept hold of the mask. Our eyes met once again and I looked away from him to stare at the wall in front of me.
"You're supposed to be dead," I stated firmly, "Everyone told me you were dead."
"I am dead."
"If you're dead then how can you be here speaking to me right now?" I asked angrily, "If you are dead then how did you do all that fighting back there? If you are dead then how did you become the second in command of this fucking, stupid, sick motherfucking, shit Brotherhood?" My voice became louder and louder as I added a few more curses for prosperities sake.
"Did your father teach you to curse like that?" he chuckled and I nearly lunged off the bed to bury my fist in his face. Perhaps if I was stronger, I would have.
"Don't you dare mention my father," I replied coldly. "Does he know that your death was a lie?"
"My death wasn't a lie," he stated calmly.
He rose from the chair and sat down next to me. I pulled away from him as he gripped both of my shoulders tightly in an attempt to force me to look at him. When I continued to look away he grabbed my chin roughly and pulled my head until my eyes met his.
"You're not dead," I whispered as a tear ran down my face. A finger traced my cheek and then brushed the tear away quickly.
"I am dead," he explained, "I died when I fell through the veil. I know you can't understand this but there is so much more to the world then life and death."
"But how?" I asked as my eyes searched for the truth in his own.
His hand released my chin and he sat back on the corner of the bed. Long, white fingers ran through his short black hair and that's when I noticed that there was something wrong. I couldn't figure out what it was about him that was making me so uncomfortable.
At first I thought it was the fact that I had been sure he was dead, but I discarded that theory immediately. I never knew Sirius Black when he was alive, so why would that bother me so much. No, it was something else, something I couldn't put my finger on.
It's like milk that's only a couple days past the expiration date, but you aren't sure whether it's good or not. It's like looking through a window on a fall day and seeing the warm sun but when you step out the door it's freezing cold outside. Uncertainty, that's the best way I can explain it. Looking at him made me feel uncertain.
"What are you?" I blurted out.
"You can sense it can't you?" he asked and I nodded dumbly. "I am not living and not dead. And no, before you even ask, I'm not a vampire like Khalida."
"When I fell through the veil I was dead for the most part," he explained.
"How can you be dead for the most part?" I asked skeptically.
"The Brotherhood brought me back," he stated, "and I gave up a part of myself in order to come back."
"I do not stay though," he continued, "I only return when the Brotherhood is summoned."
"What did you give up?" I asked hesitantly and he sighed sadly.
"The same thing that all those who returned have given up," he replied, "my humanity. Khalida is right about us you know? The Brotherhood is made up of blood thirsty demons. Not actual demons, well, there are one or two of those..."
"I don't understand what you're trying to say," I growled in frustration.
"The Brotherhood," he began, "is a made up of wizards, witches, vampires, werewolves, demons and a few others."
"Others?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Others like me," he explained. "When the Brotherhood was formed every member took a blood oath which bound them to Harry Potter, and all who share his blood. One of the first members was a Necromancer and he convinced Harry to try to enlist aide from the dead."
"The dead were given a choice and many jumped at the chance to live once again, no matter what they had to give up in exchange. When Harry called out to me I too jumped at the chance to return and I gave up everything about me that was human."
"But what does that mean exactly?" I asked in confusion. "You seem pretty human to me."
"I'm not though," he stated with a frown, "Even now I feel the pull to fight, I thirst to spill blood and all I can think of is death."
"Harry didn't understand the sacrifice. He thought he was getting his godfather back when I returned, but I was not the man that he remembered. Instead of late night talks and sharing a round of butterbeer I preferred to map out battle plans and torture captured Death Eaters."
"I stopped seeing Harry Potter as my godson the moment I was brought back," he admitted. "Now I only see him as Harry Potter, my leader and savior. I barely remember my old life besides the occasional memory popping up in my head but that hasn't happened in years."
"Is that why my father left the wizarding world?" I asked and Sirius shrugged absentmindedly.
"I wouldn't know," he replied, "I wasn't around at the time."
A lump began to form in my throat and I stared up at the ceiling. Conflicting feelings were running through my mind and I didn't know whether I wanted to scream, cry or break something.
"Do you have an order for us then?" Sirius asked. I turned to look at him and saw nothing in his eyes. There was no pain, no regret, no kindness, no caring, absolutely no emotion whatsoever.
"Leave me," I said softly. He rose up from the chair and slipped his cloak and mask back on.
"Hold on one second," I called out before he could walk out the door. "I do have orders for you and the Brotherhood," I stated and he nodded his head in understanding. "I need you to gather information for me," I explained and then added, "and don't kill anyone in the process."
"But what if…" he began and I cut him off.
"No killing," I stated firmly, "You can spy, investigate, intimidate but no killing, got it?"
"Yes," he replied quickly, "We will not kill anyone while searching for information."
"I need you to find all of the information you can on a few people," I explained. "Oriel Elita Riddle, Adrienne Jordane, and Thomas Gautier." He nodded his head and began to leave.
"Also," I said loudly and he paused, "Draco or Khalida should be holding onto a photograph of my mother and father. I need it taken to a professional photographer to be enlarged. Got all that?" He nodded quickly, stepped into the hallway and with a crack he was gone.
Suddenly there was another crack and a new Brotherhood member stepped in. She shut the door behind her and walked over to stand next to the bed. She looked down at me expectantly as if she was waiting for me to speak.
"Who are you and is there something you need?" I asked.
"I am the Fourth and no there is nothing I need," she stated, "but I was told by the Second that you are searching for information concerning a few people and I think I may be able to help."
"Take off your mask," I commanded, "I'd like to know who it is I'm speaking to." She hesitated momentarily before reluctantly pulling her mask away. Behind the mask was a middle-aged witch. Her long brown haired was pulled back into a braid and her eyes were a dusty brown color. She was extremely ordinary in appearance but something about the way she carried herself seemed familiar.
"What's your name?" I asked as I stared at her suspiciously.
"The Fourth," she replied shakily.
"No," I growled, "your real name."
"Nymphadora Tonks," she stated nervously.
"No," I gasped, shaking my head in disbelief. "But I saw you," I stammered, "It can't be you. At Hogwarts…I saw Nymphadora Tonks and she wasn't you."
The woman furrowed her brow in concentration and right before my eyes she changed into the short, green-haired, purple-eyed woman I had seen at the Welcoming Feast.
"Why?" I asked sadly.
"For Harry Potter," she said with a shrug, "there is no other reason." I shook my head once more in disbelief and decided that I probably wasn't going to get any definitive answers from her.
"Can you change back?" I asked hopefully.
It was too difficult to look at the woman I knew as Nymphadora Tonks, Remus' girlfriend, and equate her with one of the blood-thirsty killers I had seen back in New York. She nodded her head and a moment later the brown-haired, brown-eyed woman was standing in front of me once more.
"So what information do you have for me?"
"I know where you can find Adrienne Jordane," she stated simply. I waited for her to finish but she just stared at me blankly.
"And where would that be?" I asked with a sigh.
"Azkaban Prison, she's been locked away for years."
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AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I have brought Sirius back but he is only a shell of his former self. Okay, I figured in the last chapter it would be pretty obvious who the Second was. I didn't mean to make it tricky or anything, but maybe the rest of the story is too tricky so when I presented something easier some of you became suspicious. And you should be, I doubt I'll be doing that again.
Why did I bring Sirius back? Good question and its one that won't be answered until much later. Much of it has to do with the prequel, which I promise I will write. Seeing how fast I update how can you even doubt? But before the prequel there will be a sequel. Confusing I know, but I'll probably finish this story while I'm on vacation next week and I've already thought about what's going to happen in the next installment.
This wasn't one of my favorite chapters to write, but it was needed to carry the story along to the NEXT CHAPTER: A little sight-seeing at Azkaban, Jenny struggles to keep the Brotherhood in line, another ghost from the past stirs up trouble, plus…Draco suddenly gets nervous and Jenny gets frustrated…
NOW I'LL ANSWER SOME REVIEWS (there is a first time for everything)
Misao, Demon Master – Thank you. I'm never quite sure if what I think is funny, is actually funny to others or not. Although the McDonald's thing still cracks me up when I think of it…that would make a good commercial…
Star – He was summoned back from the dead and gave up his humanity in the process. And no, all of the members are not deceased, but some are. And, hint, hint, a few Others might be lurking around the corner in the next few chapters.
The Legend Keeper – Thanks for the review. I really liked the last chapter also. I'm a sucker for drama and mystery. (If you couldn't tell)
Ms. Lippy – Yes, he's back, but not truly…do u still love me? As for your question…you may have picked up on something important there. I don't want to give anything away but it's a very good question.
Chocolate-ripple – You were right. Boy, I must throw in a lot of plot twists to get everyone hung up on the obvious.
Princessash – That's why I made her eyes bleed. I've always thought that is one of the most disgusting and frightening things in the world.
Reviewer – You were right about it being padfoot. Why does Jenny name him as padfoot? Because she's delirious. Yes I plan on listing all of the songs at the end of the story. And I do not have this story finished. Not even close. Every night, or almost every night, I write a new chapter. It is a labor of love. What is the secret to my success as far as updating…I'm an insomniac, a true blue insomniac. I sleep about two hours a night, three hours max. When you're up 21 hours and you only work eight of those 21 hours, it gives you a lot of time for other things.