Last Chapter...

"What! Why?" she asked, surprised. They were so close to finishing the tests, and he wanted to visit Kurama?

"To learn more about the effects of those 'Joyful Pills'. Koenma has something planned..."

"Oh. Well, it can't be too bad, can it?" Botan replied optimistically. "I mean, he DOES love me, so..."

"Yes, but you left him for me. What are the chances of something GOOD coming from it?" Hiei answered as he shot her a dark look.

"Oh..." Botan frowned. His realistic logic sure dampened the mood...

Love Me, Hate Me, Just Don't Let Me Fall

Chapter 13: Not So Joyful Effects

Shizuru, Kurama, and Touya soon arrived at Shizuru's old elementary school playground. It was empty of children, being a Saturday, so they didn't have to worry about anyone overhearing their conversation.

Kurama, leaning against the ladder of a slide, began the conversation by asking, "Would you like help finding someone for Koenma?" Touya nodded, so the fox continued, "She would have to be single with at least halfway decent looks."

Touya contributed, "Also, be comfortable with Koenma and the three worlds, and strong enough to hold her own against other gods."

"Yes..." Kurama nodded thoughtfully. "That brings one person to mind..."

Pointedly, Kurama and Touya stared at Shizuru.

"Nani! ME!"

Touya looked her over. "Yes, you'd be perfect. You can keep Koenma in line! You can help run Reikai! Yes, it would be perfect!"

"No way! I am not about to date a two-feet tall toddler!" she objected. How dare they even consider...

"Shizuru, he's right. You would be perfect for Koenma," Kurama told her.

"I refuse to marry a god who's still in love with his ferry girl!"

"He'll get over it, especially if you help him forget about her. Come on, Shizuru, a little seduction, and you'll have a god at your beck an call," Kurama persuaded with an impish grin.

"NO!" Shizuru gritted her teeth and glared at the offending fox.

"Please?" Touya asked. "Otherwise, I'd have to search everywhere to find someone. And by then, it might be too late, and I'd never get a chance with Yukina..."

Shizuru shook her head. "Sorry, that's YOUR problem."

"Oh, just one date to see if you like him. Then we'll leave you alone."

"NO! NO, NO, and NO!"

"Them, this is a sad day indeed. My courting of Yukina would be stopped before it even began, not because of Hiei - but because Shizuru is too biased to see past a god's toddler exterior and give him a fair chance at true love," Touya proclaimed. He pouted just for the extra dramatic effect.

"Oh, just look at the poor guy! He's POUTING, Shizuru, like a little puppy dog," Kurama sympathized. "Why not give him a break and help his sorry soul?"

"You two..." Shizuru began. Then she clamped her hands over her ears, closed her eyes, and began a quiet mantra, "SEE no evil, HEAR no evil, speak no evil..."

Kurama sweat-dropped, and Touya sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.

Considering the problem at hand, the fox mentally toyed with possible solutions. Perhaps Shizuru could be tricked into this...

Turning to Touya, he offered, "Let me handle this. I may know how to convince her. But in the meantime, I suggest you go back to the mall and check on your friends. Jin and the others may prove too crazy for ningens to handle..."

Touya's eyes widened at the thought of all the destruction his friends could do. He had almost forgotten about them. "Hai!" Touya replied and, in a panic, began running to the mall.

The clever fox watched his retreating form as he thought about what to do next. He was struck by an idea and quickly walked close to Shizuru, who was still muttering. He placed an arm around her shoulders, trying to be as nice as possible.

"Shizuru, dear, you're going to go on the date whether you like it or not. One date, that's all. And guess what? If you'd like, you can double date with Touya and Yukina. Sounds good, ne?"

Shizuru quieted to glare at the fox. "You want me to not only go on a date with a demigod with a pacifier, but double date with the idiot who forced me to do so in the first place? No thank you!"

"If you don't, I'll tell everyone your secret!"

"What secret?"

"You know, the secret!"

"Oh! You mean the secret so secret that nobody knows it's even a secret?"

"Yes, yes, of course!"

"The secret about me beating up the guy WHO FORCES PEOPLE TO DATE TODDLERS!"

Okay, scratch that idea...

"Uh... what if I went too?" Kurama offered, desperate to make her agree.

"You'll come too?" repeated Shizuru, surprised.

"I guess I could..."

Shizuru took a few moments to consider the offer. It would make her feel a lot better if Kurama had to be subject to the torture too.

Finally, she nodded in agreement. "...Okay, I could do that. I'll go on this ridiculous group date with Koenma, Touya, and Yukina if you tag along with your date. And everyone had best leave me alone after that!"

"Eh, I have to get a date? But... what about the," Kurama said as he looked around suspiciously and dropped his voice down to a whisper, "fangirls? They'll go insane... INSANE, I TELL YOU!"

"Of course you have to get a date. You don't want to be the fifth wheel, after all," Shizuru answered with a smirk.

"But..." the fox objected, confused. How had she managed to turn the tables so quickly?

"Kurama, dear, you're going to go on the date whether you like it or not," Shizuru teased.

"Don't mock me!"

"You wouldn't have this problem if you were like every other perverted male! Out of all the men I know, you are the ONLY one afraid of any girl who likes him!"

"I can't help it if I have a very scary fanclub!"

"Is it because you don't like girls? Is that why you refuse those fangirls day after day, even the ones willing to do anything for you?"

"...I like girls. Very much so. Just not the ones that I know," Kurama objected, his Youko side very much offended.

"Okay then! Prove your masculinity by finding a date!"

"...I really hate you right now..." he growled.

"Ditto."

"Do you realize how angry the fangirls will be? How hard it will be for me to find a suitable date?"

"Your problem. Deal with it!" she retorted callously.

He warned, "I'll make the date as miserable for you as possible."

"I'm agreeing to date a toddler. I don't think it gets much worse than that."

"You'll regret this."

"If I have to go on a stupid date and be miserable, then I'm taking you down with me!"

"Oh, alright already! I'll go, I'll go! Just promise me this - don't alert the fangirls!"

Shizuru adopted a look of feigned innocence. "Oh, I wouldn't dream of it."

Shortly after arriving in Ningenkai and discovering Kurama's whereabouts, thanks to Hiei's Jagan, Botan began to feel sick. Her stomach began feeling queasy, her head hurt, and her whole body seemed stiff and sore.

"Hiei... I don't feel well..." Botan moaned. Drowsiness began to overcome her, and she could hardly stay on her feet.

Hiei glanced at her, hoping that she would pull through at least until they met Kurama. He didn't want to have to deal with this right now. As Botan slowed, and eventually stopped walking altogether, Hiei impatiently grabbed her by the hand and dragged her along.

"Hurry up, and quit complaining."

"Um... Hiei...?"

The fire demon's eyes were set ahead, and his thoughts were directed towards the primary goal of reaching Kurama before the pills did something to them. He growled irritably, "What do you want?"

"I... I think... I'm, uh, shrinking..." Botan said, her voice rapidly becoming higher pitched until it reached that of a child's.

Indeed, the hand Hiei had grabbed was becoming smaller. He glanced at the new Botan. She was much shorter and seemed to be the size of small ningen child, perhaps around six or seven years of age.

"I don't feel so good..." she groaned in her child-like voice. Suddenly, the drowsiness hit its climax and she slumped to the ground in a faint.

Hiei's eyes widened after seeing this. If this was the effect of Koenma's Joyful Pills, then his turn would come soon. If Hiei ran fast enough, he might reach the fox before he fainted as well. He could only hope the fox would know what to do to return them to normal.

Quickly, he grabbed Botan's unconscious body and began running towards his destination, immediately becoming nothing more than a black blur to the ningen eye. On the way, he was already becoming smaller. His face seemed to lose years' worth of glaring and smirking, and his Jagan shrunk as well to fit his newly shaped head. Hiei ignored how ill he felt, his mind set on reaching the fox before he succumbed to the deep slumber that was beckoning him.

His determination paid off within a few minutes when he saw the playground and the familiar forms of Kurama and Shizuru. As soon as he reached their side, the fire demon dumped Botan on the ground in front of Shizuru and Kurama.

At the sight of their miniaturized friends, Shizuru let out an exclamation of surprise as Kurama asked, "Hiei! What happened?" Their argument over the group date was completely forgotten, and a temporary truce called.

As tired as he was, Hiei felt he had to tell them something and said drowsily, "Koenma forced us... Joyful Pills... Hn..."

Those were the only words Hiei managed to get out before the sleepiness overcame him. His heavy eyelids finally closed, and he hit the ground in a dead faint.