Title: The Art of Separation
Author: Radiorox
Summary: Harm takes Webb's offer to "join the brotherhood" but his decision comes with consequences that affects a romantic relationship with Mac.
AN: Yes, yes another forray into season 9 BUT, the muse wouldn't let this go. As with ALL of my stories, there is dark before the light. The first half of this story will be told mostly through flashbacks that I'm excited for. I have pages and pages of snippets that need to make it in. So, here we go! Oh, nothing is what it seems.
Chapter 1 - Interlude
September 2004
"You look lovely tonight, Colonel." The beautiful Marine turned to her commanding officer and gave him a gentle smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"Thank you, sir." She wore a red gown with thin straps, the bodice criss crossing in an elegant sweep across her chest. It hugged her waist and came down stopping about an inch from the ground with a slit on one side that rose up to knee length.
Every man at the gala admired her, drinks stopping half way to their lips, conversations paused just to give Sarah MacKenzie their undivided attention. From the moment she walked in, she'd been the center of unwanted attention.
Every man wanted her. Every man. Except one.
Taller than most, he wasn't hard to miss leaning against the bar while chatting with a colleague. She'd rarely seen him out of military attire for these functions and became used to the dress whites, gold wings or whatever mess dress called for the occasion. He was still attractive, devastatingly so in an all black tuxedo which fit like a second skin. If anything his clothing accentuated his broad shoulders, ones that Mac noticed seemed fuller than before.
He sported a groomed beard that mostly hid the scar on his left cheek and made him even more intriguing if not a little dangerous looking. And the fact that her breath caught just being in the same hall as him was a testament to the feelings Mac could never fully run away from.
It had only been one year.
One year, four months, three weeks, two days and fifteen hours - Mac may have even recited each second that ticked by since their split but she stopped herself short. The past only served to bring up memories she'd rather forget and he was already a part of her, embedded in the very essence of her soul despite the factors that drove them apart.
She should have moved on. She could have moved on but there were no suitors to fill the void he left and the one man who was actively trying to woo her made her cringe.
"I'm sorry, sir. What did you say?"
"I didn't expect the Commander...I mean, Mr. Rabb to be here. Did you?" Chegwidden suspiciously eyed his chief of staff which, like most of their group, had rallied behind her when their very public breakup all but destroyed the Marine. He'd become protective of her, much more than in the past because he understood the lengths Mac had gone to help Webb. Harm was now persona non grata and he remained close in case the former Naval Aviator overreacted again.
"No, I did not. But, Mr. Rabb and I haven't been on speaking terms for over a year. He was a mistake I'll never make again, Admiral. It nearly cost me everything." And she still was affected, inwardly detailing their short lived romance that ended just as fiery as it began. "Excuse me. I need to use the ladies room."
"Do you need an escort?" AJ noted the path to the head could only be accessed by a door near the bar. She would have to walk past him.
Mac shook her head. "No. I'm a big girl. He caught me off guard once and that won't happen again." Her retreat was elegant as she walked across the hall at an even clip, passing in front of Harm with a cool air of indifference that made his teeth grind. He may have barely raised his eyes to acknowledge her but any familiar greeting was a thing of the past between them.
If only she didn't look so beautiful, Harm thought. Because he had seen her from the moment he walked in, it was impossible not to when the most stunning woman in the room was her. And then there was that damned link between them, the one that shone brighter than a beacon so that it was impossible to ignore. It seemed sensible to make his way to the bar, the farthest point from the gaggle of his former colleagues that could only glare at him with contempt. He wouldn't look her way again despite his unwavering affections for her.
Instead he chatted with agency big wigs, former clients and danced with more than a few interested women. But with each circle that he took on the dance floor, he could feel her eyes on him, could sense it as if Mac shot laser beams his way. He hated this. He hated to be so uncomfortable at an event that already made him ill. And so he took his leave once his presence there was no longer required.
Outside he could breathe again, away from the scorn of his former friend's who now saw him as nothing more than a pariah. His fault, Harm knew but, it didn't make the detachment any easier. He handed his ticket to the valet and leaned against the large circular columns that held the port cocher upright. Fate was a bitch, he decided when some random breeze swept past him carrying a scent that had lingered on his sheets for far too little.
Fixation - her perfume, Mac's perfume combined with whatever other wondrous scent she wore assaulted his senses. He closed his eyes as if that would make him or her disappear but fate was a bitch and when Harm glanced to his right, Mac appeared as if out of a dream. "Fancy meeting you here, Mr. Rabb."
He winced at how cold her timbre was with an indifference that made a chill run down his spine. That same voice had once said his name so sweetly could only spew disdain. Mac's contempt hurt more than a bullet but he simply stood near her, breathing in the soft scent he wished to be wrapped in. But they were done, through - forever - his actions a year ago had destroyed them. "I hate these things as much as you do. It wasn't my idea but they wanted me to watch one of their super spooks."
"Mmm. So you made a hasty retreat?"
"Not hasty enough, apparently. You look lovely tonight, Colonel and I notice that Webb is still hanging on your every word." He seethed because the spook had practically claimed the woman all evening. If Chegwidden wasn't by her side, it was Webb and he was surprised the spookster hadn't followed her out.
"Mmmm. You look rather dashing yourself. That scar's a new edition since I last saw you and so is the beard which I might say actually suits you...Rough assignment?"
Harm shrugged. "You know I can't say."
"Oh that's right your kind likes to play in the shadows. Should I call you Bond? James Bond?"
He sighed audibly, enough that she turned around to look at him with concern. Part of her thawed that moment but just as quickly the mask came back up. "Mac, we don't have to be enemies. You never let me apologize."
"Apologize?" She turned to him fully and took several steps forward as her index finger jabbed his chest painfully. He was a tall man, imposing to some but she wouldn't fear him and this time she wouldn't back down either. "You have some god damned nerve, Rabb. You want to patch things up and play nice after what you did? That's some gall considering you broke it off with me."
"Sarah…"
"Don't you call me that! Don't you dare." He didn't expect that the crack against his cheek would hurt so bad but it did. It stung like hell and left him feeling bereft although he probably deserved it. Harm knew Mac was strong, a well skilled kickboxer but he couldn't imagine she could pack such a wallop and a simple slap. "You wanted out of my life, then stay the hell out of it."
"I made a mistake."
"Yes, you did and it's one that I frankly can't forgive. Stay away from me. Far away."
She was right. The life he lived wasn't meant to be romantic like a spy movie. There were consequences for the choices he made, sacrifices and Mac was one of them. A year and a half ago he pledged to love her. A year and a half ago at a hotel room in Paraguay he admitted his reasons for giving up his commission and following her. A year and a half ago he hadn't yet joined the brotherhood.
A year and a half ago he hadn't expected his life would be turned so upside down that it would irrevocably change him. But he still stepped towards her, his large hand wrapping around her wrist. He felt the pulse beneath his fingers, how it nearly stopped and quickened just as his had. He wanted her, always would and by the way Mac's lips parted and her tongue darted out to moisten them, he wondered if the feeling was mutual.
"You still have feelings for me."
"I do but, it doesn't matter. You made your bed, I moved on."
"With him?" Harm nodded towards the exit of the hotel and the man in the tux that carefully made his way down with the assistance of a cane, that steadied his gait from the nerve damage that was permanent. "You could do better."
"It's none of your business. Let me go. Let me go or this won't end well for you."
"No, it probably won't and I probably deserve it. I also might enjoy what you can do to me." She pulled but he held on and when her pulse raced faster, a satisfied smirk spread across Harm's lips.
"Let her go, Rabb." Webb's defense was almost comical because in the attempt to be Mac's knight in shining armor, he wavered. His body swayed so that Mac nearly had to hold him upright and Harm's malevolent laughter echoed beneath the covered entrance as he slipped into the driver's seat of a sleek black Ferrari, a gift from the agency.
"See you in hell, Clayton." Tires burned out and screeched in an overt showing of male ego. The sports car sped into the night leaving behind nothing but memories of a man that was once noble and honorable and good. He was gone now, his light snuffed like so many that worked for the agency.
Mac pulled away from Webb long enough to watch Harm go, the pieces of her broken heart left scattered in the growing wind.