Rosie returned home late at night only to find windows open and papers blowing about. Stepping cautiously into the room, she looked about warily. Suddenly, a hand grasped her shoulder. Whirling her around, Andyalf whispered, "is it secret? Is it safe?"

"Holy flippin' pancakes! Don't sneak up on me like that!" Rosie yelped.

She dug in a trunk until she found the brown package.

"Here it is!" she held it up, and Andyalf snatched it away, ripping off the paper.

"Hey,what do you think you're doing?" Rosie cried as the balding wizard set up an ironing board.

Not answering, he spread the hoodie on the ironing board and plugged in the iron. Then he sat in a chair.

"We have to wait for it to heat up," he explained.

"Oh." Rosie sat in a chair next to him.

After a moment of silence, Andyalf jumped up. Bending over the hobbit-sized ironing board, he sprayed the hoodie with water and began ironing. Rosie looked on.

"You missed a spot," she said helpfully.

Andyalf did not reply.

" Oops! You just ironed in a wrinkle!"

Still no reply.

"Don't iron so long in one place! You'll scorch the fabric!"

"Will you be quiet and let me iron?!" Andyalf exploded.

"Well, cheeze. You're grateful."

"Take it now, since you're the expert," the wizard grumbled.

She picked up the hoodie.

"Is there anything on it?" Andyalf turned away from her for his dramatic close-up.

"Hey," the hobbit responded indignantly, "I'm not that messy an eater!"

Andyalf sighed.

"Woah, look at this!" she said. "There are markings. Silver decals on the front, back and sleeve. They're some form of elfish. I can't read it."

His dramatic close-up over, Andyalf turned back to Rosie. "I says, 'One hoodie to rule them all, One hoodie to find them. One hoodie to bring them all, and in the darkness, bind them.' Not many people can read it."

"Well, aren't you special?"

"Ok, so here's the deal, " Andyalf said, "There's this bad guy in Mordor, the dark lord Perron. This is his hoodie. He wants it back. He sent nine riders to get it for him. If he gets this hoodie, he will destroy Southern Tier. I can't take it, and it cannot stay in the shire. So you have to leave quickly. Make for Bree. I'll meet you at the inn of the Prancing Pony."

Rosie hurried to pack her things. "So the hoodie will be safe in Bree?"

"I don't know. But the head of my council will. He is both wise and powerful. The name Bag'ems isn't safe outside the Shire anymore. You'll have to use another one. Travel only by day, and stay off the roads."

"I'm not totally ignorant. I know what to do."

A rustling could suddenly be heard outside of the window.

"Get down," Andyalf whispered.

Rosie dropped her pack and began doing the disco.

Andyalf clapped his hand to his forehead. "No! Get down as in drop to the floor!!"

"Oh." She did so.

Stealthily, the wizard approached the window. He struck out in the bushes with his staff.

"OW!"

Andyalf reached down and pulled up a hobbit, Rosie's gardener. He flung him onto the table.

"Wilibald Gamgee! Have you been eavesdropping?"

"I haven't been dropping no eaves, sir, honest," he protested. "The grass just looked a little long, and I decided to cut it."

" You couldn't think of a better story than that?"

"I've never been very good at spontaneity."

"Did you hear anything?" Andyalf demanded.

"N-nothing important! I mean,, I heard a lot about a hoodie, and a dark lord, and something about the end of the world, but nothing important, I swear."

"You better not breath a word of what you heard here, Wil," Rosie broke in, "or I hope Andyalf turns you into a spotted toad and fills the garden full of grass-snakes!"

"No," Andyalf mused. "Perhaps not. " He looked at Wil with an evil glint in his eye. "I've thought of a better use for you."