Eden Chapter 1: The Dance, an artemis fowl fanfic

Hi People!

I'm back!

I bet you'ze were wondering where I was;

Or maybe not...

I have spent my boring summer fantasising stuff and reading 'His Dark Materials'

Mmm, I wonder what Pan and Kirjava were at?

You have got to tell me if its in Lyra's Oxford,

Please

It's way too expensive for that thinness.

BREAKING NEWS! (That's what it always says on the news for important stuff)

The

New

Artemis Fowl

Book

Out

June

2005

CLASS!

And,

And

Its

Called... Drum Roll

...

'The Opal Incident'

I think it's such a stupid name. Copy of 'The Arctic Incident'.

Right,

Here's a little test,

What precious stone do you think'll be in the story (apart from Jade)?

Mmm?

What?

Yes! You're right! It's opal! (I think, or else its about a girl called Opal, but then again, I was reading a web chat with Mr. Eoin Colfer and he says that Arty isn't going to have a romance for a while yet.)

(By the way, I was being sarcastic everyone says "Duh" or "No, I don't believe you")

Any-way,

Back to this Fic.

I have had a succession of dreams where I'm (Strangely) called 'Eden'

I'm not religious at all but still, I'm called Eden.

No,

Only Fish-fingering

I was called my real name (which only a select few shall know) but it'll be funny.

I have no idea weather to put this as a romance, because it's not really a romance, but people might think it as one.

Any way,

This is set shortly after the wipe

Then skip about six years

Yey! XD

Ok,

On with the formalities

Disclaimer:

SS (i.e. me) - looks blank while thinking of a disclaimer

Mr. Lawyer- suddenly appears Hello

SS – Crap!

Mr. Lawyer – where looks around

SS – Would you mind not doing that? You near gave me a heart attack! And that's very serious for a thirteen/coming of fourteen-year-old by the time this is published on the net

Mr. Lawyer – why? Going to sue me?

SS – shut up

Mr. Lawyer – that's offence, I can bring that into court

SS – look, are you going to force me to say...?

Mr. Lawyer – grins What?

SS – ...something that I don't want to say

Mr. Lawyer – you have to flourishes the terms conditions of being a FF Author see, look here points to a line

SS – Damn, ok, I don't own anyone except the man-eaters and Eden.

Mr. Lawyer – fine, see you next chapter. disappears

SS – right, lets get this over and done with.

P.S. I've lent my copy of 'Artemis Fowl' to my auntie so sorry if some facts are wrong.

Oh and I've actually never been to a school dance so if it's inaccurate, please tell me.

That's my speaking part over with for a while, so sit back and cringe from the embarrassment and cliché's and Mary Sue' ness of it.

Extract from The Teenage Years

After the mind wipes, Artemis Fowl became unstable. He became obsessed with the fact that there was something in his mind he couldn't put his finger on. Unfortunately, his brain was so well trained to him; it wouldn't make up a plausible explanation that his mind would except. This was a hard blow to the people, this showed that we could no longer wipe and hope for the best. His obsession, mixed with his maturing body and the hormones being released into his bloodstream, made him restless and easy to anger. He had been suspended twice from his school, St Bartleby's, and was on the verge of expulsion. He would lock himself in the dorm for days at a time, and only his bodyguard, the famous Butler, could make him emerge. Overall he had a troubled Adolescence.

This all changed when his school had a sociable with a nearby girls school. He met a girl called Eden McGuire (no relative to Loafers) and became calmer in her presence. This is the account of their first meeting.

The Dance

Artemis Fowl was scowling as he sat on the bench beside the school pitches. He could hear the music blare from the main hall even all the way down here. This dance was just a way for the popular students to show off, and to make sure the school got a good reputation.

Some people would blame it on his schizophrenic tendencies that he didn't get a date for the night, but he didn't want one. He didn't even want to go up to the main hall or anywhere else. He was all right where he was thank you very much. He was actually enjoying himself, in a loner kind of way. That thought brought a slight smile to his face as a memory surfaced.

Juliet Butler, AKA. Jade Princess, had sent him an e-mail from her New York apartment saying,

'Hey there lone ranger,Artemis could almost imagine her saying that in her recently established American drawl, how u doin? My big Bro says dat u've been in BIG trouble again at skool. shakes head wat hapind to da polite, sarcastic approach? Lol.

Me an Bones's fine, Paul's movin in nxt month an I'm so xcited, I no u don't like 'im dat much, but plze b hapy 4 us. My mate Sandy says dat she's xpectin him 2 propose anytime soon (don't tell any1, I want it 2 b a surprise if he does!)

I'm comin home in a fortnite 4 a wile. (Keep dat a secret 2)

C Ya soon

LOLuv,

Jewel XD

She had sent that thirteen days ago so she was going to be at Fowl Manor tomorrow, same as him as it was last day of term.

Artemis lay on his back and cleared his mind as he stared at he stars.

"Hello." Said a girl, her face appearing in Artemis's vision.

"Friggin Shit!" he yelled and straightened up as quickly as possible and as his brain realized that he hadn't heard her coming.

The girl was laughing so hard she had to plonk beside him, "sorry," she gasped, sweeping brown hair from her brown/green eyes; "you just should have seen your face."

Now that he had gotten over the initial shock, he realized that he had seen this tall girl before, but didn't remember where. He decided to voice this,

"Do I know you?" He asked politely

"No, but I know you." she said, finally stopping her giggling fit, "Your that schizo kid, aren't you?"

"That's just a pessimism to get people away from me for a while so that I can think," He replied. He didn't know why he reviled that information, but he liked this girl. She thought that could fly off the handle any second, but she had come up to him because he was by himself. To make sure that he was right he said, "Why aren't you up at the dance?"

"Humph." She snorted, "dancing and making small talk, I don't like to do that unless it has a purpose."

"Technically, it does."

"Well, as if I want to go out with a snobby rich boy."

Artemis made a polite coughing noise in his throat.

"No offence," she added.

Artemis smiled, and realized that he hadn't seen this girl before. She just acts like Jewel and Holly, he thought. There. Again that name had surfaced from the depths of his mind. The confusion must have shown because she asked,

"Is something wrong?"

"No," he replied suddenly, "just a troubled thought."

"About me?" she asked, "I'll move if you want."

"No!" he assured, "just something that's troubling me lately."

"Ah, ok." She said, her head bobbing, "So. What's your name rich boy?"

"Tell me yours first." He countered.

"Nope, asked first." She defended

"Well then I wont tell you mine."

"Eden," she said suddenly, "Eden McGuire."

"Oh." Artemis was knocked off guard. He realized now why she hadn't wanted to tell him her name, "Eden, What an interesting name."

"Oh ha ha, what's yours?"

"Fowl, Artemis Fowl." He said in James Bond style.

Her response was to start laughing.

"At least I'm not named after a mythical garden."

"At least my name doesn't come from the Goddess of Childbirth."

"And Archery."

"Still, Mr. Chicken Midwife."

Artemis felt a smile start to form at the corner of his mouth, and fought against it. She's smart. He thought. The most people usually know about my name is that it's a girls name. Damn! The smile was too far-gone; Artemis had no choice but to turn it into a pout.

"Awhh." Eden baby talked, "Did nasty old Eedy upset the wittle pwosh boy? Oh bad Eedy, bad, bad, bad Eedy."

"Shut up," said Artemis, changing the pout to a smile at the side of his mouth he thought Eden couldn't see.

"Anyway," she said, changing the subject, "Why aren't you up at the dance?"

"I'm not a great hit at school dances," He quoted Butler without knowing it, "Actually, I'm not a hit at school either."

Eden smiled; showing a jewel attached to her canine tooth. "I can see that." She said, her eyes twinkling.

Artemis realized that her voice was odd, then, after further thought said, "you from up north?"

"Yep, county Tyrone. The all Ireland champs of '03."

"Oh." He said, he knew not to start football talk with a Tyrone person. "Why do you go to a Dublin School if you're from Tyrone?

"I didn't like the one the Orphanage sent to me and I got a transfer down to St. Ann's."

Artemis lowered his gaze, "oh." He repeated.

Eden sensed his discomfort, "oh, it's all right." She said as if he was asking to borrow a pencil, "I never knew them. My mother left me in front of an old lady's door, when I was a week old. Aunt Rose lived in Lisadell Gardens and she says when she saw me, she thought I was a changeling when she first saw me. She says that I was yellow and screaming at the top of my lungs. Bless her, she didn't want to give me up to the Orphanage. But she's old and depends totally on her pension. That's why me name's Eden by the way."

"Oh." Artemis repeated once again. Eden was called Eden because she was found in a garden. "Religious was she?"

"Aren't most ol' biddies?"

He nodded in agreement.

And then they both laughed.

They sat in silence for a while, both thinking of something to say. Artemis was the first to voice a thought,

"I thought girls liked dancing and that kind of stuff."

"I'm no ordinary girl."

"Please." He muttered as he rolled his eyes.

"What?" She said defiantly, "So you think I'm a man-eater?"

Artemis was appalled; "I never said anything of the sort."

"Man-eater's are a group of "popular" girls." She spat, putting extra venom on popular, "They're only popular because all they wear is a see-through blouse and really big belts. That's what their skirts are like. Oh, and lets not forget the slap they put on their faces. Inch thick that stuff is. I mean, what's wrong with the modest, natural look?" she pointed at her clean face and plain black dress.

"Nothing I've always thought." He admitted.

Eden gave him a look up and down. "And what's wrong with class?" she said, hinting at his jeans and T-shirt.

"Fed up with it."

"Ah," she said, "I only wore this because it feels nice on, feels nice off too." She added.

Artemis's eyes went wide, "What?" he exclaimed, "Are you implying?"

Eden looked out at him under her fringe, as if she was saying 'What the bugger are you getting worked up about?' but what she actually said was, "it just gets uncomfortable sometimes." She then asked, "What the Bugger are you getting worked up..." her eyes went wide with realization and she laughed at herself, "I didn't mean it like that Artemis."

Artemis looked relieved.

"Sorry," she said, "on the way down to my mouth, my mind pops into the brain for to see if a sentence makes sense and sometimes forgets what it went there for."

"It happens everyone." He said, "Once I said to my bodyguard 'what's the best position', thinking and meaning, 'the best place to put the thing.' And he looked at me funny, and Juliet, his sister, was laughing her head off. I was mortified"

Eden was almost copying Juliet. She was going red in the face, trying not to laugh.

"Sorry."

The music stopped and Eden got up.

"The music's off," she said sadly "Everyone's going now."

Artemis smiled at her. "Suppose this means goodbye." He said.

"For now, Art." She said as she returned the smile and got off the bench.

"Bye then." he said.

"Slán." She said, Bye. She turned and walked away, only glimpsing back at the boy once, before she joined her classmates on the school bus.

###

This is what I think people from the Republic call people from the North of Ireland, because we call the Republic, 'Down South'. Oddly we say the same for County Donegal, which is west of the six counties, and in places, further north than Derry or Antrim. Don't you dare criticise us about that. The majority of the republic is south of the border.

There. Chapter one done

Tell me if that's all you want to read.

Reviews are welcome as always

Is Eden Mary Sue?

She better not be.

Dum de dum

I've actually ran out of things to say for once.

Aw well.

Time to log off

We thought that that would be the last blow he would give the people,(after the centaur, Foaly, found evidence, from the files deleted from Fowl's mind, that he had given the dwarf, Mulch Diggums, fairy files on a disk, disguised as a medallion Captain Holly Short had given him, And had ordered Mulch to bring the medallion back to him. A/N long sentence I know)

Mulch cannot bring the medallion back to Artybecause

1) Mulch is a fairy

2) Since Mulch is a fairy, then Artemis writing the note he slipped to Mulch a fairy memory

3) Foaly'll probably do what he says in the EC, "see what makes this guy tick' i.e. Check the files and see Arty writing the note.

Da da!

If you're still confused, tell me when you're reviewing.

I hope the stuff above is clear enough or else I'll have to spell it out like I had to, to xTamx a while ago.