Disclaimer: Will and Grace belong to NBC and other cool guys.
Rating: PG13/ R in later chapters
Summary: A look at Jack's life as a teenager coping with, growing up and falling in love in a harsh world.
Note: This chap may be mild. But it will get darker a little later, so don't get too comfy.
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Someday My Prince Will Come
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Earlier tonight, at a party in the city, I saw the most tragic thing. I think his name was Will. I didn't even try to figure it out, but I could tell right away. He was in superlative denial! I plan on seeing him again. I don't know why, but I like him. Even though he completely ignored me when I tried talking to him at the party. It doesn't matter now. In fact all that matters is the new production the drama department is planning for next semester! I am so excited. The fall sports season is closing, so I can't cheer anymore. All I have is theater now! No matter what the play is, I am going to audition for it. The arts are the only thing that distract me from school. I hate school. I hate it with all my heart and soul! Can't wait to graduate next year.
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Jack couldn't take it. The morning sun was making itself known, emerging steadily from the horizon. Ever so painfully, the boy opened his eyes, groaning at the mere sight of his alarm clock. '6:30' it read. Indulging in the generous solace of his blankets and pillows, the teenager sighed. He did not want to leave the safety and warmth of his bed... just yet. He shut his eyes again and tried to quell the acrid sense of dread that filled him when he was confronted with another school day.
Thinking about the past week, Jack's soft lips suddenly curled into a smile.
Things had been going moderately well for him. He had raised most of his grades, after much hard work and frustration. The semester was coming to a close, and he was fairly prepared for his finals. His drama class was wrapping up the production of 'A Christmas Carol,' in which he had been bestowed the part for Scrooge's nephew. It wasn't much of a role, but he took it enthusiastically.
Yet the thing that was on Jack's mind the most, was the college student he'd spied at a party in the city a few days prior.
He opened his eyes, sharpened in excitement, and then calmed in thought. For some reason, Jack could not get that guy, Will, out of his head. There wasn't anything distinctly impressive about him. He was mildly popular among his own classmates, was involved in everything a normal student at Columbia would be. In fact, he even had a girlfriend. Jack began giggling all of a sudden.
'Girlfriend! Yeah right! I can't wait to get him out of the closet!' It was then that Jack froze in contemplation. It wasn't like him to bother closeted men who he hadn't even been properly introduced to. But there was something about this man that he felt a connection with, something completely warm and comforting. Once he met those dark eyes, he took in the man's pain, desperation and hopelessness; concealed beneath a cocky and boorish facade.
Such eyes...
Jack's own glazed over in fascination. Suddenly fueled with adrenaline, the boy shot out of his bed like a bullet. Soon he would talk to him again... he knew it.
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Jack hurried down the stairs, brushing away a few locks of hair that framed his face. He greeted his mother in the kitchen and pulled out a yogurt from the refrigerator. His mother seldom spoke to him about anything other than herself. She loved him dearly, and he in return, but they were never truly on the same page with one another. His mother's realm included; her suffering marriage, paying the bills, and keeping her hair looking as flawless as possible. She could only wonder what Jack's priorities were... if she wondered at all.
"Morning mom." Jack uttered quickly, before rushing out of the kitchen and past his father, who hid behind a newspaper. "Bye!" He called before shutting the door and heading out.
The winter morning greeted him bitterly; brutal temperature sinking into his freshly combed hair, and biting at his scalp. Acrimoniously, he pulled a hat from his bag and brought it down over his head, warming his ears. He hoped he would have enough time at school to rid himself of hat hair.
As much as Jack detested winter and the limited fashion it offered, it was his season. His sapphire eyes shone brilliantly amid the fair, youthful skin he was endowed with. Even without the nightly moisturizing and exfoliation practices, Jack's skin was most radiant in the harsh cold of this season. A soft rosy color graced his cheeks as he trekked up a hill, wind blowing against him.
As he made his way up and around a park, a man, roughly in his early twenties joined him at his side. His viridian eyes were wide opened, and a smile stretched out across his handsome face. But underneath that handsome exterior, lied a subtle darkness that Jack himself could not name.
"What do you want Jesse?" Jack sighed and pursed his lips in irritation.
"You look nice this morning." The man blurted, straining to sound casual.
"Thank you. I know." The boy gave a small smile, but clutched his books and kept walking.
"Do you want to get together later?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I told you four weeks ago! Its over Jess, Im sorry. Im not ready to give you what you want. Im sure you'll find someone else..." Jack offered, looking his ex-boyfriend in the eyes.
"Not like you." The older man remarked.
"Just please stop following me around Jess. Its been a month already. Get over it." Jack sped up, leaving the man behind.
"You can't mean that!" Jesse hollered after him. "Jack!"
Jack turned around, piercing blue eyes sharpening in impatience.
"What?!" He hissed.
"One day you'll give it up. And you'll regret that it wasn't me who you gave it to!" The man hollered, cutting through the silence of the residential area.
Jack merely frowned to himself and kept walking. He suddenly felt ashamed. Dating older men was such a burden. They were much more open with their sexuality, and yet most demanding with it. Young men virtually had no sexuality, still closeted and ashamed. There was no middle ground. There was no place he could settle and just be.
Indeed, he was a virgin. And he was very careful with the men he dated, making sure he never got too close. Otherwise, he would lose it in a milisecond. Jack believed in true love, and the right one. He wanted to wait, until someone special came along, someone who was as nervous and naïve as he was. And Jesse was not that person.
Suddenly dispirited, Jack ascended the stairs that lead to the school building. Reaching for the door, Jack paused. Something would go right today. He decided to try and be happy. Perhaps he would get word of another college party soon. And he could see Will again.
Smiling softly, Jack turned the doorknob and entered the school. People looked up from their lockers and back down again. He walked past them, and to the other side of the building where his own locker was situated.
Few people conversed with him. He was the outsider of all outsiders. And he was hardly content with being so ignored, so invisible. Perhaps that was why he loved drama so much. The stages spotlight was the one place he could be seen and appreciated. Maybe it was because he was playing someone else...
He put his math and history books into his locker and walked to the bathroom to fix his hair. A few boys lingered around the stalls, discussing the joys of female anatomy and other things Jack cared not to bear witness to. They looked up at him briefly, before cracking a joke and laughing amongst themselves.
Jack rolled his eyes and pulled out a comb. He cared not for the jeers and the ridicule, it was all these people could manage. Surely, that was the worst they could do to him. Running the comb through his slightly lengthy hair, he arranged it to his liking and smirked at his reflection.
"Don't start making out with yourself now, McFairyland." A kid cracked and lead his sniggering friends out of the rest-room. Jack stuck his tongue out at the departing boys and crossed his arms. It was too bad he was so alone. The only gay kid in school. The only openly gay kid in school anyway. Such a shame...
Jack walked to his first period class, smiling brightly. It was his favorite class, drama. Although he was customarily alienated, this was where people interacted with him the most. He even had his friends in the class. He said hello to everyone and waltzed into the classroom.
"Hey Liz." Jack waved at a girl and took his seat next to her.
"Hey John." She muttered, going over a monologue. Jack liked to believe she was his friend, since they had worked together in 'Guys and Dolls.' She however, saw him as an 'associate,' as she had explained to a group of accusing students.
"Its Jack, remember?"
"Oh yea, sorry..." she looked up suddenly, as a tall, athletic senior walked in. Jack observed him closely as he went to the teacher to show him a paper. Jack recognized him from gym class. He had never spoken to the redheaded jock, but he had seen him around.
Now that he was so close, Jack was getting the faintest feeling that this boy was... 'NO! He couldn't be. He's on the football team and everything!' Jack recalled an assembly and seeing this boy's face among those in the varsity team; smug and completely straight. 'Of course, he could be an emergency case of denial!' He mused and smiled.
"What are you smiling at?!" The boy demanded harshly. Jack jumped, not realizing he had been staring off in the boy's direction.
"Nothing." Jack assured him. "So, you barely transferring in? The semester's closing you know..."
"I know that!" The boy said abrasively and plopped down in a seat beside Jack's. "Im transferring into this faggy class next semester. My counselor just wanted me to see what it was like before I did." He complained, obviously not pleased.
"Don't worry it'll be fun!"
"Yeah right."
"Why are you transferring?" Jack asked, puzzled as to why this boy was taking the class.
"I need a goddamn communications credit. What do you care anyway?" The boy turned to him, with a suspicious look in his eyes.
"N-nothing. Im just saying, you know trying to welcome you to the class. By the way, Im Jack Mc-"
"I know who you are, McFarland." He glowered. "Just stay away from me."
Once again Jack sensed something peculiar about this guy. 'He could be... But he's too sure of himself.' Jack sighed and awaited the pledge of allegiance.
"Okay students." The teacher said afterwards, clasping her hands together. "We have James Gilmore here today. He will be joining us next semester, so help get him informed and with the program okay?" The teacher gestured to the scowling athlete and then turned to the chalkboard.
"All right," she continued. "Please pull out your monologue workbooks. They are due today."
Jack dutifully placed his work on his desk and fiddled nervously with a pencil. He could feel the athlete's venomous glare on him as he did so.
'What's this guy's problem?' Jack thought and tried not to fidget.
"You know," the boy started, as their teacher walked around the classroom collecting the papers.
'ugh.' Jack knew what that tone would lead to. He shouldn't have introduced himself, and opened a door for this guy. It was almost as if he was welcoming harassment, by talking to a jock. Cursing inwardly at his gregarious disposition, Jack braced himself for whatever things this boy had to say.
"It figures I would get stuck in this class with someone like you." The boy's dark green eyes flashed for a second, with something Jack thought was fear, or was it just plain old hatred?
'If he wanted me to stay away from him, I would have. He doesn't have to bother me now.' Jack's mind was screaming. But he couldn't reveal any sort of hostility, or he'd wind up in his locker, gasping for air.
"What do you mean?" Jack asked brightly, plastering a false smile on his face.
"Don't play dumb!"
"Well, if you mean a gorgeous and talented guy like myself, yes it figures that you got stuck in this class with me." Jack answered him, brimming with sarcasm. Like a flash, the boy yanked Jack up and out of his seat by his shirt collar.
"You better watch what you say McFarland!" He bellowed, towering over Jack.
"Boys, is there a problem?" The teacher caught on and stood in front of them.
"No. No problem." The boy grumbled and backed away.
'Wow! What a closet case!' Jack screeched mentally. He was shaking in his shoes however, glad that they were in class. It had been a long time since he had made anyone that angry. It was a stupid little remark he made. But no one should have been driven to the point of violence by it, unless he was truly insecure. Jack was almost certain that this boy was in denial, just like Will.
Jack smiled. But unlike Will, this boy was harsh and violent with his denial. This boy was on the varsity football team. He had a girlfriend that he publicly flaunted, and he was always dressed sloppily, as if trying to prove that he was the most masculine guy in the school. Jack suddenly felt pity for this boy.
"All right students, you will be performing your monologues today. I hope you are all prepared. It is part of your final. But right now I want to talk about what we will be doing next semester."
Jack sat up straight, with an eager smile on his face.
"At the beginning of February we will be performing a play for the elementary students down the road. It will be free of charge, but we will be raising money for a charity."
'All right all right! What's the play?' he was practically squirming.
"So, we can't have elementary kids see a production of 'Arsenic and Old Lace' can we?" The teacher laughed and Jack rolled his eyes. "So we will be doing 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.'"
Jack slumped in his seat. 'Snow White!' At first dismayed, Jack suddenly perked up. Perhaps it would be a musical. He knew that his teacher would change it around, and probably would not follow the Disney interpretation of the story; but nonetheless it would most likely have music.
"After the production wraps up, we will be working on 'The Crucible.' Okay I have made lists of roles and notes on the play... anyone who's interested, auditions will begin the first week after Christmas vacation. Any questions?"
Everyone was silent so the teacher began the class.
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Jack was beaming. His monologue had gone very well, at least he thought so. He made it through the rest of the day; took all of his finals. He faired well, save gym and math class. But he would make it to the next semester with all credits intact.
Glancing around the halls as school came to an end, Jack frowned. Everyone had different plans for winter vacation. He himself was unsure of how he would go about his free time. Christmas was always dull and nothing to look forward to. He got the same presents every year, like clothes or money. Not that he minded the cash; he just wanted something special.
He was hoping to attend a college party that weekend. Brightening at the thought, Jack hurried out of the building and into the chilly afternoon. He knew who he had to talk to...
Down the street he walked, a small glint of hope on his face. As he rounded the park, Jack began thinking about the lost Columbia kid again. 'Poor guy. I should really do something about him.' He thought. 'He probably feels like he has no one. He's probably exhausted doing what he's doing. Too bad he acts so straight, it'll be hard to get him to come around without a fight.' As if the thought hadn't occurred to him before, Jack gasped. When had he made it his objective to lend a hand to some stranger.
'There's something about him...' Jack thought as he neared an apartment complex. 'Something that makes me... hopeful.'
He climbed the stairs and knocked on a door. A tall man with blonde hair, and handsomely rugged looks opened the door. His eyes were extraordinarily calm, with a deep hue of forest green. Jack almost blushed at the mere sight of him.
"Hi. Is Frank here?" Jack inquired, leaning to the side to see if his friend was present.
"No. But he'll be back in a couple of minutes. He just went out to get some drinks. You wanna come in?"
"Uh, ok. Who are you?" Jack asked, tilting his head.
"Noah." Just the way the man said the name made Jack shudder. Something about this man chilled him to the core, and yet intrigued him at the same time.
"That's a nice name." Jack said, more to himself.
"You must be Jack." The older man remarked and sat down in a recliner.
"Yea. How did you know?"
"Well, Frank only talks to one high school kid. Im guessing its you." The man said as he lighted a cigarette.
"Im not a kid!" Jack argued and sat down on the sofa.
"The braces speak for themselves."
"Im not a kid!" Jack said again, eyes flashing.
"Virgins are kids..."
"Whoa! How do you even know if Im a virgin?"
"Trust me, I know." The man looked off in another direction, seemingly uninterested.
"Boy you're cocky!" Jack bristled, his young face shadowed with irritation.
"You bet I am."
Jack crossed his arms and observed this man more closely. This must have been the room-mate Frank had managed to get. Not surprisingly, he was very good looking; tall, fit and well dressed. Frank had such superficial guidelines in who his room-mates were. This man was different from the rest of the lot. Jack had only known Frank for two years, but his friends were all ostentatious and kind people.
This man was, darker in some sense. He had such a bored expression, as if he knew everything but didn't know what to do with this knowledge.
"Why do you want to talk to Frank anyway?" The man asked suddenly.
"I just wanted to know if there were any parties in the city tonight, you know at his school or something."
"Well, there is."
"Really? How do you know? You go to Columbia with him?"
"Yup. But Im not going to the party. I heard its at this guy Will Truman's dorm room. Its probably gonna be a real snooze. No one like us around." The blonde put out his cigarette and looked at Jack.
"Will Truman! So that was his name!" Jack stood up. "Oh my god! The party, you have to tell me about it!"
"Why, you got the hots for him or something? He's not coming out of the closet anytime soon."
"You know him?" Jack asked in disbelief.
"Yea I do. Worst closeted oaf I've ever seen." Noah laughed dryly.
"Oh wow. I thought I was the only one who thought so."
"You want to drag him out of the closet?"
"I don't know, I mean I've been thinking about it.... a lot. Its weird, but I kinda feel sorry for him,"
"You like him don't you?" Noah teased, with an amused smile on his face.
"I do not! I just want to help him!"
"Jack, if you helped every closeted gay guy you met, you would be working forever. You couldn't be considering helping this one unless you liked him."
"Shut up! You don't know anything!" Jack hissed and grabbed his things.
"Oh and I supposed you know more than I do?"
"I know enough, to know that you don't know anything about what I really know!" He stuck out his tongue and prepared to leave.
"Jack. The party's tonight at nine o'clock, dorm room 115." Noah's eyes deepened in amusement. "Be sure to tell me how it goes..." The man smirked as Jack left in a huff.
Trotting down the stairs and out of the building, Jack ran into Frank.
"Hey Jackie! How ya doing?" The college student greeted sunnily, and patted his younger friend on the shoulder. "Why you so flustered?"
"Just met your room-mate." Jack muttered.
"Oh. I know he's different, but he's a very cool guy."
"To you maybe. God, what an arrogant bastard."
"Now now, he's not so arrogant. He just gets... annoyed, with you know..."
"With what?" Jack's frown deepened.
"Well, kids."
"Im not a fucking kid!" Jack screeched and began to stomp off.
"Jack I didn't mean it that way!" Frank called after him. "Come on."
Jack paused and sighed. He decided to change the subject.
"Im going to a party in the city. Will Truman's party."
"Oh him." Frank smirked, a knowing gleam in his dark brown eyes.
"What? What about him? You can tell too?"
"Of course! Every gay guy at Columbia knows! But we choose to keep our distance. Its much too sad to think about."
"Well. Im going to the party. You wanna come?"
"Nah, Noah and I are having some guys over and then we're gonna hit the clubs."
"Aw! Bummer!" Jack groaned. "I wish I could go. It sucks being underage."
"Yea." Frank smiled sympathetically. "Well, I'll see ya Jackie."
"Bye!"
Jack began to make his way home. Turning a corner, he began to think of how he would go about talking to Will. He could be aloof, or a know it all, or he could just give it to the guy on a plate, screaming at him: "You're gay! You're gay!"
'I'll just be myself.' Jack giggled excitedly. 'I can't wait to see him!'
As he walked up the path to his house, a shadow caught his eye.
"What do you want Jesse?"
"I wanted to talk to you." He blocked the stoop, denying Jack access to his own door.
"About what?"
"You know, us."
"There is no us. Just leave!"
"Please Jack, don't do this to me!" Jesse dropped to his knees and clutched Jack's coat.
"Jesse! My dad is inside! He might see!" Jack pulled away and shoved his ex to the side. "Just go, Please, please go."
After Jesse left, Jack went inside and got ready for the party. Tonight would be a night of breakthrough. Something would be accomplished.
"Ok Will Truman! Time to meet you're maker!" Jack grinned at his reflection and headed out.
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i saw Will again. Boy was it fun! The party was a snore, but I sure had fun cornering Will. He was so caught off guard. I felt very powerful. And god he looked cute with his guard dropped! I wonder how he'd look with his pants dropped! I gave him my card and offered my services. He seemed pretty pissed off, as expected. But I feel I opened him up a bit. I think he's starting to recognize his true self. Its kind of fulfilling, knowing that I'm helping him. He was so lost and in pain, I could see it. I wonder if he'll call me.
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Note: If I get anything wrong about Jack or Will's past, please don't tell me, Im sorry if facts are distorted. If you can't cope, then consider the fic AU. Personally I think its mildly accurate.
Well, if I get feedback it would be very cool! If I don't, oh well I coming out with chapter 2 anyway! Love ya!