"You are not that naive to think that as long as you become a good person in the future that people will just forgive and forget everything you've done," he asked with disbelief.
Tess just shrugged as if this was a recurring conversation that she has had with people. "I wouldn't call it being naive. Hopeful more than anything. That I can change and be a better person than I was."
Celegorm huffed and groaned internally. There was no forgiveness for him or his brothers. The world wouldn't care if they defeated Morgoth all by themselves. They would always be kinslayers, and no matter what he did now, nothing would wipe that away.
"Maybe for you," he muttered darkly. "You get to leave your misdeeds behind you in another world. My worst mistakes are written in history books and are probably told to some elfings as to scare them. Nothing I do in this life will ever make up for my past."
Tess reached over and squeezed his arm, "it's not really about receiving forgiveness from others. It's about you."
He arched his brow at her. Her optimism grated on his nerves. He had murdered people in cold blood, left children to be orphans, and kidnapped a princess to eventually marry her. No one in their right mind would forgive him. Yet, her question wasn't about receiving forgiveness from someone, but if he forgave himself for his past mistakes. Strange, he thought, as the maia in Mandos's halls asked him the same question. He never answered then because it didn't matter in the halls. Now though, he didn't know.
"I am not sure," he replied slowly. "The maia in Mandos's halls asked me that question a lot. I never answered them as they already told me I would not be re-embodied." Celegorm looked over at Tess in surprise. "Do you forgive yourself for what you've done?"
"No," she said softly. "Not yet, anyways. I was going to school to be a doctor before I died. I was hoping that if I helped save lives every day that it would make up for my past mistakes."
Surprisingly, he had never asked what Tess did in her other world. They mainly spent the week talking about this world and the interesting things about hers. She was oddly quiet about herself, but he wondered if because she thought this wasn't real before.
"What is a doctor?" he asked.
Tess laughed, "I suppose a healer. Although I was training with far more advanced tools. I didn't know what kind of doctor I wanted to be yet, as I was just starting my second year of med school."
Celegorm had no idea what Tess just said besides that she was training to be a healer. Furious, he yelled, "and you did not bother to tell me that you are a healer? That would have been nice to know while we traveled."
She shrunk away from him and then rubbed her neck with a sheepish look, "I'm sorry. I thought this was all a dream. I was trying to just enjoy the experience and not talk about myself too much. I didn't want it to turn into a nightmare."
"Oh," he mumbled. That made sense to him. If he was dreaming and found himself in a strange place, he would also try to avoid thinking about horrible things. He had a few nightmares himself to know that they could take on a mind of their own. Feeling a little bad for yelling, he smiled and asked, "so will you patch me up when I get hurt?"
A smile broke out on her face as she laughed. All the tension drained from her body as she relaxed again. "Sure, but I can probably only sew up cuts and mirror things. This world is very medieval compared to mine."
"Really," he drawled. "I would have never guessed."
They both chuckled at that. Celegorm crawled out of the bed and stretched at the end of the bed. "We should get some food and then see if we can find some medical supplies for you to carry. Then we should return and get some rest. I want to leave early in the morning."
"Alright," Tess replied.
He nodded and then waited for Tess before heading out of the room. When they reached the common area of the tavern, the place was packed. It must have been close to dinner time as men were eating while the women threw themselves onto the men or waited by the door.
A few tables were open near the back, and he made his way there. A loud smack sounded behind him before he heard Tess yelp. He turned to catch the last glimpses of Tess punching a man in the face.
The man fell out of his chair from the punch as the whole room got quiet. Tess was visibly enraged as she spat out, "touch me again, and I'll make sure you really have something to cry about."
Celegorm wrapped Tess under his arm protectively as he sneered down at the man. Unfortunately, before he could add to the man's pain or say anything, the tavern owner came over.
"Tobias," she scolded. "That woman is a guest, not one of mine. You are banned for the night. Get out."
Tobias grumbled as he used his chair to pull himself up. He spat at Tess's feet, "wouldn't want her anyways. Bitch ain't no good if I have to fight her the entire time."
Tess's hands clenched into fists again, but he grabbed onto her arm softly to stop her. Celegorm glared at the man as he said, "she never fights me. That is probably due to the fact that I actually know how to pleasure a woman. No woman would willingly lay with you. Enjoy spending all your hard-earned coins on a few measly thrusts every night."
The man tried to lunge at them, but he was quicker and punched him square in the jaw. Celegorm's anger and frustration came out in full force as he threw his punch. The man hit the ground hard and with a loud thud. He didn't move as the tavern owner crouched down in front of him and said, "he's out."
She huffed up at him but then waved for the man's companions. "Get him out of here and to his home. Let him sleep it off."
The companions did as she asked without a single complaint or even a look in their direction. The tavern owner stood in front of them with her hands on her hips. "Suppose you want some food now, eh?"
He just nodded, and then she was off to the kitchens. Tess pulled on his tunic as she led them over to an empty table. She sighed as she sat down and said, "I suppose I should have expected that. We are at a brothel, after all."
"Just because we are at a brothel does not give him the right to touch you. Men in this city are disgusting."
"Agreed," Tess replied with a chuckle. "Do you think all human cities are like this?"
He snorted as he wondered that himself. Not everyone was bad here, but it might be because they are so isolated. There were only a few other travelers that he noticed, and based on the poor state of the lower portion of the city, they were struggling. "Maybe cities that are closer to the elves would be fine. I have no idea."
Tess mused out loud about seeing Rohan and Gondor someday. He could vaguely remember where they were on the map, but they might pass them on their journey. When the food came, she asked the tavern owner if she knew anything about the east or any cities.
"Not much, as we don't get travelers from that way too often," the tavern owner answered. "But I'll tell you what I told Amrod. There isn't much east of here for a long time. Lots of empty plains as far as the eye can see. You'll see the Orocarni mountains after a long while, but then you will find that they stretch to the north and south. A few travelers spoke about a large city of men called Minas Gaear, where the mountain range meets the sea in the south."
She smiled as she added, "the only stories I heard about the elves were that they lived beyond the red mountains. They are near impossible to cross over, so people often don't even try. The few travelers I've met say that there is a small passageway between the mountains and the sea, but the elves stop all travelers from entering their land. They do trade with the city, but I haven't heard anything else in years. I told your brother that he should head to the city first and see if they will let him in, as he is an elf."
Celegorm was concerned now as he asked, "did my brother say that was where he was headed?"
The tavern owner shrugged, "no idea what his plans were. He thanked me and then left the next day in the early morning."
Knowing his brother, he would try to find a passage over the mountains. He looked over at Tess, and they shared a glance. She knew the route they were planning on taking now. Tess thanked the tavern owner for the information and then, when she was gone, asked, "I suppose I will need a thick cloak then."
He smirked as he realized he would need one too. "I will go after dinner and see if I can purchase two, along with some basic healing supplies. You will need to sleep, so you are well rested."
She grumbled about being sent to bed early, but he just laughed softly at her. They finished their meal, and he followed Tess to the room. When they stepped in, they could already hear a few people above them and in the next room. Tess flopped on the bed as she said, "great, just what I wanted to hear as I fall asleep."
Celegorm took the key from the side table and said, "lock the door behind me, and don't let anyone in. I will be back shortly."
Tess nodded, and then she followed him to the door. After he stepped out into the hall, he waited until he heard the soft lock of the door. Then, he made his way out of the tavern and into the cool night. One of the workers at the door called to him, but he just asked her for information to buy cloaks and supplies. Unfortunately for him, those shops were in the better part of the city.
He walked towards the wall with determination as he needed to find a way up and around beside the gate. After walking along the wall for just a little while, he spotted a house that butts up against it. He smirked to himself as he pulled himself up to the roof of the house. As quiet as a mouse, he crept over the roof towards the wall. At the highest pitch of the roof, the wall came to his ankles, and he stepped onto it with ease. Now on the top of the wall, he saw most of these homes were against the wall. He climbed down the same way on one until his feet hit the ground gently.
Celegorm couldn't stop the smirk that formed on his face at the stupidity of humans. Anyone with a brain could have done what he just did. On this side of the wall, he spotted more and more shops until he found a healing shop. His nose was hit with herbs and spices when he walked in. The woman behind the counter was mixing a concoction into a bowl. She looked up for a moment and then went back to work. Good, he thought. Less hassle.
He pulled out the coin bag and counted what was left. He only grabbed a few plants that he knew would work. There was a small section for needles, threads, and bandages, and he grabbed as much as he could. Surprisingly, the shop had a few leather bags, and he grabbed one to carry everything in.
When he set it on the counter, the woman arched her brow at him. "Long journey?" she questioned.
"Yes."
She hummed but then counted up the supplies without a word. "Five silver," she told him.
That sounded right, so he handed them over without issue. He wouldn't haggle as the women's prices were already cheap. He asked her where to purchase cloaks, and she pointed to a shop down the road that sells traveling supplies. He thanked her and slung his new bag over his shoulder.
When he was out on the road, he stopped to count the remaining silver. There were only 9 pieces left, and he hoped that would be enough for two cloaks. Making his way down the road, he stepped into the shop with ease. Unfortunately for him, the man saw him enter and visibly got upset.
Celegorm looked closely at the man, and he thought he might have been one of the men that came to the fire on the first night. He groaned as it seemed his luck had run out.
"Elf," the man called.
Celegorm hummed and then approached the counter in an arrogant stride. "I need to purchase a cloak. They say yours are the best."
The man glared at him, but the little lie seemed to tumble around in his head. Celegorm watched as the man fought internally over what he should do. "I can pay extra," he offered.
The man snorted, "from the prince's stolen coin, no doubt."
"Does it really matter?" he drawled. "Coin is coin, and the prince will never know."
"Fine," the man grumbled. "One cloak, five silver."
"I need two," Celegorm started, "and 6 silver for them both."
The man barked out a laugh. "If the prince finds you wearing my cloaks, I need some more than six silver. How about a night with that pretty companion of yours and you can have both cloaks for free. Spending a night with her would be worth the punishment."
His fists clenched by his sides at the man's words. "Eight silver, and you will never touch Tess so long as I live. Which is forever since I am immortal."
The man's eyes widened in surprise, but then he laughed a nasty laugh. "Knew it. She is yours. I thought elves don't lie with humans."
Celegorm clucked at him, "elves can have physical relations. We do not engage in the full coupling, and an elf would die before they could be raped. We are bonded for life at our first full coupling. Tess is my companion, and while we are not married, we are together."
A loud and nasty laugh came from the man, "I pity your kind. What good is a woman when you can't fuck her? Nine silver for two cloaks."
"Deal," Celegorm replied.
The man looked very happy with the deal, and he knew he overpaid, but there was nothing to be done. After emptying his pouch to the man, he got two thick green cloaks in return. They were well made, even though a man made them. Without a word, he left the shop to head back to the tavern. It was a little difficult to climb up the house with the bag on his side, but he managed.
When he finally got to the tavern, he groaned the minute he stepped inside. His ears were ringing from the noises, and he knew it was going to get worse when he got to their room. It was louder in the hall than in the tavern, and he had to concentrate on blocking everything out. He knocked loudly at the door, and he heard Tess walk over to it.
"It's me," he called out.
The door swung open to reveal a tired Tess. He nodded as he stepped inside, but then he realized the issue. The bed directly above them was shaking the floorboards. Tess just sighed behind him and said, "still better than the creepy innkeeper."
He agreed, but being here brought back a lot of memories of his childhood and the first age. His parents were always extremely loud, and his father did not care in the slightest if his children heard them. They had seven children, after all. Once they left Valinor, they spent years together in tents and then close quarters where a lot of elves drowned out their grief with each other. He knew humans were quick, though, and within a minute of him entering, the shaking stopped.
"The poor woman," Tess commented. "That is her fourth one tonight. I can't even imagine."
Celegorm wrinkled his nose in disgust. Poor women indeed, and to live in a place like this. It was sad, and he didn't realize until now the state and conditions of human villages. The elves may have their flaws, but having clean rooms and cities with everyone having a job and getting fed is something he would never take for granted again. Maybe it was because the elves can remember times of war and how much you need one another that they can show compassion for people. Here, the richer get richer and fatter while the poor starve and die. It made him sick.
Standing now to face Tess, he said, "that will never be you. You can live with my brothers, and we will take care of you and protect you. I just want you to know that it is an option."
A large smile formed on her face as she wiped a few tears. "That means a lot to me," Tess commented. "Thank you. I wouldn't mind being your family's healer and even keeping a house and making food every day. I see what the other alternative is, and I don't like it."
Ceelgorm warmed at the words as he imagined Tess living with him and his brothers. It was something to think about for the future, whether they all lived in Rivendell or maybe they lived in Hobbiton with the hobbits. Tess made her way to the bed to try and get some sleep.
He needed to stay busy, so he worked on packing up the supplies. Tess's bag had seen better days, so he packed their clothes in that one. When he was finished, Tess was sleeping soundly, so he sat in the chair near the fire to rest. Just as he suspected, the loud banging continued upstairs for a few minutes. Celegorm already knew it was going to be a long night of broken sleep.
He and Tess slept and woke up all through the night. It wasn't until he heard the voices die down in the tavern that the upstairs seemed to quit completely. Then, he got a few more hours of sleep before he woke himself up. He was rested enough to travel, but he knew Tess was going to be tired. Walking over to the bed, he shook her shoulder softly until she blinked awake.
"Time to go," he said.
Tess didn't complain as she sleepily pulled herself from the bed. She looked exhausted, and he planned to stop early tonight for them to rest. After she got changed into the new traveling clothes, they were ready to leave. He crept out of the door first and saw no one around. The whole front tavern was empty, and they made their way to the door.
Outside, the crescent moon was high in the sky and helped him see the road. He grabbed Tess's hand to pull her along. When they reached the stables, his heart soared as the horse was still tethered outside. He reached out to it softly, and it jolted awake.
"You came back for me."
"I said I would. We need to leave the city. Are you well enough to carry us?"
The horse hesitated, and Celgorm could feel its pain. "It is fine, my friend. You may come with us, and we will ride when you are better."
The horse lost it then as it neighed and pawed at the ground happily. Celegorm reached out to stroke its mane to soothe it. Then, he took a knife and cut the cord from the post. The horse walked on behind him with no issue as Tess walked beside him. The three of them walked through the city until they were out into the open plains. Tess turned toward the east, and he led the horse in that direction.
Curious, he asked, "do you have a name?"
"Horse," it answered.
Celegorm snorted at men's stupidity. "Absolutely not. I will give you a new name. Let me think." He thought about all the pretty girl names he knew, but one stuck out to him the most. "Cúndil," he added. "It means crescent moon. Seeing as you are free on a warm summer night with a crescent moon, I thought it would be fitting."
"Thank you, master."
"Friend," Celegorm chastised. "We are friends. I am not your master, and you are free to leave whenever you want."
"Thank you,...friend."
Cúndil relaxed and trotted after them happily. He was glad to have saved one animal, but he knew he could not save them all. Glancing over at Tess, he said, "I named the horse. It's a girl, and she is named Cúndil now. It means crescent moon."
"Fitting," Tess yawned. "Is she alright? I am assuming not, as we are not riding her."
Celegorm shook his head, "she is in pain still. She will recover, and then she will gladly carry us."
Tess smiled at him and said softly, "it's nice seeing the caring side of you. I like this part of you almost as much as I like the sharp and biting side."
He didn't comment, but a small smile spread across his face.