Rosie drew the glowing blue Sting from its sheath.

"Dorcs!" Legolson cried, readying his machete. Bobomir ran to the door and foolishly stuck his head out. Several arrows thudded into the door perilously close to his head. Aragorn helped Bobomir heave the door shut, and then he strung his bow.

They stood fast.

All four hobbits drew their short swords. Andyalf gripped Glamdring while Legolson brandished his machete.

They stood at the ready.

The door heaved as dorcs pounded it from the outside.

Still they stood.

Ilmig stood atop the crypt and brandished her scissors.

"Grrr!" she cried defiantly.

Yet they stood.

Swords began to break through the door. Every muscle tensed for action.

They stood.

Then the door broke open and dorcs spilled in, only to be swiftly felled by Aragorn's arrows. In a short period of time, they were too close for the bow, and he drew his sword, Legolson's machete not far behind. They hacked dorcs to pieces, though not stemming the tide. Surprisingly agile for an old wizard, Andyalf twirled and dodged as he attacked. The hobbits charged in unison, ducking between legs and under blades. From her vantage point on the tomb, Ilmig easily swept heads from shoulders with a snap of her scissors.

Then the frenzy hushed as a large bulk pushed its way into the room. Wil looked up in horrified astonishment. Before them towered a cave troll being led on a chain by a dorc.

"Oh, how cute!" Rosie managed to get out before it bellowed and raised its mace threateningly. Wil dragged the oblivious hoodie bearer out of the way as the club came smashing into the floor she had been standing on.

Ilmig hurled a nearby spear into the creature's chest, then jumped as the club decimated the sarcophagus. Meanwhile, Aragorn and Andyalf fended off dorcs and Bobomir hacked off limbs. Up on a ledge, Legolson wielded two wicked hunting knives, dispatching dorc after dorc.

The troll pulled its chain free of its master and whipped it at the elf. The chain wrapped itself around a pillar and pulled taught, providing a convenient bridge for Legolson. He stood on the beast's head and shot an arrow into the flesh. The troll cried out in pain, and Legolson leaped nimbly to the ground.

Wil, who had been somewhat a bystander in the whole deal, was accosted by two dorcs who suddenly found themselves on the ground, having been dealt a crushing blow with Wil's solid iron frying pan. "I think I'm starting to get the hang of this," Wil said.

The troll, having recovered form the arrow shot, had cornered Rosie and was chasing her around a pillar.

On the other side of the chamber, a dorc charged Bobomir, who stood firm, grinning like an idiot. At the last minute, he stepped aside as the dorc sped past.

"Ooh, can't touch this!" he taunted, then broke out a little dance move. "Na, nanana, can't touch this!"

Back at the pillar, the troll suddenly changed direction and backed Rosie into a corner. Aragorn jumped between them and shoved a pike into its belly. The troll squealed in agony and flung the man like a rag doll. Then it pulled the pike from its stomach.

Rosie tried to dodge but was blocked.

Then the pike struck home.

She groaned, her eyes rolling back in her head.

Merry and Hunter jumped the troll and stabbed its back with their knife-like swords.

Rosie's breath escaped her, and she began to slump to the ground.

"Rosie!" Wil cried, and he bashed in dorc heads with renewed determination.

Rosie's head lolled back as she collapsed to the stones.

The troll plucked Merry off its back and threw her into Bobomir. It then leaned back to shake Hunter off when Legolson threw a long knife in its neck. This proved too much for it, for it swayed, then toppled like a tree.

The eight of the fellowship rushed to Rosie. Aragorn rolled her onto her back, and she drew a shuddering breath. Seeing her still alive, Wil rushed to her side.

"She's alive," he said with obvious relief.

Rosie sat up, gasping and clutching the gaping hole in her tunic.

"I'm ok. Don't mind me."

"How the heck did you not get killed?" Hunter demanded.

Rosie smirked.

"That's for me to know, and you to… not know."

"Rosie…" Andyalf warned.

The hobbit sighed and opened her tunic to reveal the shimmering mithril armor.

"Sivre ubre sub-ubre," she said sagely.

"Oh, cool!" Ilmig exclaimed. "It's so pretty!"

Just then, shrieking and clanking of metal reminded them that the dorcs had not given up.

They fled through the great halls of Dwarrodelf with hordes of dorcs on their tail. The dorcs poured from cracks and clung to walls and pillars, swarming in on the nine from all directions. Finally, the fellowship pulled into a tight circle, backs to each other and weapons drawn, preparing for one of those last stands where all are inevitably killed.

From somewhere in the depths, a menacing giggle arose. The swarming mass froze, then swiftly dissipated, returning to their cracks in haste.

Now alone in the great hall, the fellowship turned to look at the doorway through which this insane laughter was floating. Andyalf's face drained of color.

"Run!" he shouted.

They fled blindly in the other direction, passing through a doorway and stumbling down steps. Bobomir barely caught himself from plummeting several thousand feet when the staircase took a sharp turn. They wound their way down the staircase that was placed all alone in a huge cavern for Eru only knows what reason. They were brought up short by a gap in the stairs where the stone had crumbled away.

Legolson, ever the intrepid adventurer, leaped across without hesitation, then turned to help Andyalf across.

The dorcs at that time regained their courage and rained arrows down on them. Fortunately, dorcs have poor eyesight, for not a single arrow found its mark. Bobomir jumped across with Merry and Hunter, and Aragorn hurled Wil to Legolson. He made to grab Ilmig, but she pulled away.

"Excuse me, what do you think you're doing? I don't think so." With that, the plucky young dwarf jumped the distance, barely making it, and then only by reason of Legolson grabbing her beard.

Just then, the portion of stone upon which Aragorn and Rosie still stood, that same stone that had remained immovable for centuries, crumbled beneath their feet. The two leaped back onto solid stone, but a massive boulder crushed the stairs behind them and their portion sheared away from its support, sliding toward their friends. The two rock stairs conveniently touched for a moment, allowing Aragorn and Rosie to walk across. Thus rejoined, the nine continued their flight. They reached the bottom of the stairs and began to make their way across the bridge, when out of the flames behind them came a maniac giggle.

Then it appeared.

Legolson's face went livid.

"Marshie," he whispered in horror.

"What?" Rosie questioned. "A giant marshmallow?"

For indeed it was just that. The large, puffy, white shape towered more than twice the height of a man. It had squinting eyes and a mirthless smile. It floated just above the ground, and there was a large bite taken out of its top right corner.

"Not just a marshmallow," Legolson replied in fear. "Marshie, the mascot and "spokesperson" for Fluffy-puff marshmallows. It is one of the greatest evils known."

"Hi, kids!" the monstrosity said in a falsely cheerful voice.

"Ahh! Run faster!" Andyalf yelled.

They reached the other end of the bridge, except for the wizard who turned halfway over it to face Marshie.

"You cannot pass!" he cried.

"But I'm fluffety!" the marshmallow protested.

Andyalf flinched, but retorted, "I am a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. Your poisoned words will not avail you!"

"I'm puffety!" Marshie threw the words at him.

Andyalf cried out and staggered, but remained upright. "Go back to the shadow!"

Marshie floated closer to the wizard.

"You shall not pass!" Andyalf raised his staff and crashed it down on the bridge. The half on which Marshie was floating broke away, and the "air-puffed sugar delight" fell. As the confection dropped, it yelled, "Fluffy-puff!!" The reverberation shook the remaining half of the bridge, and Andyalf stumbled over the edge.

"Andyalf! No!" Rosie sobbed.

Just before he plummeted out of reach, he whispered his last command.

"Fly, you fools!"

Then he was gone.

In slow motion, the eight dodged dorc arrows and fled up the steps, stumbling in their grief. When they broke into the fresh mountain air at the top, the hobbits collapsed on the snowy ground to cry their fill. The others were suitably solemn.

"Legolson," Aragorn grunted. He beckoned to the hobbits.

"Uh, you want me to comfort them?" Legolson guessed.

Aragorn shook his head.

"Play them a song?"

He shook his head again.

"Make them tea?"

Another head shake.

"Why don't you just say it? It'd be easier."

Aragorn sighed and pulled the hobbits to their feet. Soon they were on their way again.

…

If you don't already know, Marshie can be found on the wonderful website wwwdothomestarrunnerdotcom. Specificly, he's in "toons" and then "shorts." Of course, that's assuming you want to see this horror. But check out the site anyway. Its funny.