Note: I've decided to omit the 'dear diary' part of Jack's POVs. Honestly, I myself don't remember writing 'dear diary' in my own journals, and it just seemed weird to keep that; so it's changed. They can be treated as little excerpts from his diary though.
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Someday My Prince Will Come
Chapter 2
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Will and I have become very close friends. Or at least I think so. He seems so completely lost, its funny and sad at the same time. He dumped his girlfriend, or she dumped him, I forgot. He felt so freaking bad about being gay, and for hurting her feelings that I wanted to throw up. He kept wanting to see her again, to tell her it wasn't her fault, and that he still loved her. (Gag!) I understand why he would feel bad for her, but he needs to stop acting like being gay is so terrible. I've been trying to help him get a date, and get used to his new life. But he is still very stubborn sometimes. He even came out to his parents already, but acts like he is still straight. Its going to take a lot of work to convince him that he needn't pretend anymore.
But I can't help liking him. He's so nice and cute. I wonder if he likes me.
School starts in a couple of days. I don't want to go. But I remember the Snow White auditions are on the second day back and Im kind of psyched about that. Im sure Ill get a part of some sort. Everything's going right lately!
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"Its the best feeling in the world. Its like you're floating and falling at the same time. But no matter what, it feels good..."
Jack's eyes drifted from his friend, over to the traffic beside the coffee house. The January evening was chilly, but not as icy as it had been for a time. People were making the most of it; going out into the city to shop or to simply be out of their homes.
The young men sat together, in the popular cafe they often frequented. The older of the two, was visibly strained; eyes in a state of unrest.
"Really. All this from a kiss?" Will asked skeptically.
"Yup."
"You act like its so different from a heterosexual kiss."
"It is."
"Shouldn't it be the same?"
"No. Its completely different!"
"How do you know?"
"Because. Hetero kisses are just gross!" Jack exclaimed, frowning in distaste. "Besides there's nothing like kissing a man. Trust me, I know."
Will's eyes met his and then descended to the drinks on the table.
"Do you know everything?" Will asked.
"Of course I do!" Jack smiled, failing to notice the unconvinced expression on his companion's face.
"Have you... done... everything?"
Jack paused for a moment, looking closely at his friend.
"What do you mean?"
"You know, have you done everything?" Will asked, almost impatiently. Jack's eyes lowered to his half finished muffin.
"No." He replied softly and quickly looked up again. Will sat back resignedly, as if he was disappointed.
"But I know everything there is to know about it! I know how to do it and everything- I just haven't done it yet!" He said hurriedly, attempting to remedy the situation. They sat in silence for a while.
"Surprising." Will said at last, not looking at Jack.
"What?"
"The way you carry on about it... I figured you'd done it already." Will muttered, not catching the flash of pain in his friend's eyes.
"Im sorry."
"Its ok. I can't expect so much from a sixteen year old." The college student said, and downed the rest of his coffee.
A bitter twinge of anger coursed through Jack, and he glared back down at his muffin. He soon calmed as Will looked at him, smiling.
"I wonder if I'd be any good at it."
"Good at what? Kissing?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "Im sure you've done it before."
"I have... I mean I know its just kissing, but I've never kissed a guy before..." Will looked at Jack thoughtfully, and sat forward. A tense silence hung over them, and they sat, both expecting the other to say something.
"You wanna try it?" Jack asked abruptly.
"What?"
"Kissing a guy. You wanna try it?" He asked again, more eagerly.
"With who?" Will's eyes narrowed.
"With me."
"What? No."
"Oh come on. It'll be fun." Jack coaxed excitedly, and tugged on his friend's sleeve.
"We can't do it here." Will said nervously. Jack bit his lip for a second, and then brightened.
"Come on," He said, taking Will's hand. "We'll go to my house."
"Your house? Really?" Will asked, intrigued. He hadn't seen Jack's house yet; the boy never wanted to go home for some reason.
"Yea, I don't think my parents are home."
'Ah. Parents.' Will thought, and followed his friend out to the street.
The house was dark. Even with the porch light on, it was obscured by the shadows that the surrounding trees gave off. Will looked up at the dwelling, admiring the mysterious facade. He walked towards the gate with Jack, and was still very nervous about how his friend would go about showing him.
"Jack."
"What?" Jack opened the gate and reached into his pocket for the house key.
"Who's that?" Will asked, and pointed to a dark figure sitting on the curb across the street. Jack squinted at the person, having trouble making out who it was.
"I don't know." Jack muttered and ushered his friend into the house.
"What's his deal?"
"Nothing. He's probably just waiting for someone." Jack took Will's coat and hung it up.
The two marched up the stairs towards Jack's bedroom. The teenager inspected the rooms, confirming that no one else was inside. He then lead Will into his room.
Will looked around at the boy's room, observing his posters and belongings. The room was a little dark, even as Jack switched on the light. Bed was neatly made, most likely by his mother. Will turned to look at the desk; littered with paper, teen magazines, schoolbooks and a journal. A stack of records sat beside the wall, beneath the window. On the window sill stood a flower pot. The flower was not in bloom yet, due to the winter, but already it held a lustrous color...
"I had to grow that for life science. I don't know why I still have it..." Jack told him as he took off his shoes.
"It's... nice" Will murmured, still gazing at the bud. A vague and foreign feeling crept into him, and he wondered how the flower would look if it was in bloom, how far would its petals stretch in the summer, when everything was grown and enlightened.
"Okay Will," He heard Jack say.
Will turned around.
"I don't think this is a good idea." He said nonchalantly.
"Why?"
"I don't know. Its just weird..."
"Will. You want to try this right?" Jack asked and motioned for Will to sit down on the bed. The college student swallowed nervously but sat down cross legged, in the center of the mattress.
"Yea,"
"Then what's holding you back? Im just gonna kiss you, Will. Im not gonna pounce on you and ask for a freaking engagement ring." Jack sat down next to him in the middle of the bed, and smiled. "Its all innocent fun."
Will hesitated for a second but then nodded. Scooting closer to Jack, he closed his eyes tight and sat stiff. Jack stared at him for a while. 'God. He's like a wall.'
"Will. You can't be rigid and stuff, you got to relax." Jack soothed, getting on his knees. Will opened his eyes a bit, to look up at his companion's pleasant face. That reassuring smile put him at ease.
"Okay. Okay." Will breathed, closed his eyes briefly and then looked back up at Jack. "Like floating and falling at the same time, right?"
"Right." Jack's eyes softened, and he leaned forward, gently taking Will's lips with his own. His hands came up to Will's shoulders, and rested there.
At first Will tensed, but soon he began to kiss back; it felt vaguely familiar and yet so very different. His hand rose to the back of Jack's head, to stroke his hair. After ten seconds, Jack broke the contact and sighed unevenly. Will emerged, perplexed and strangely calm.
"So?" Jack asked calmly, despite the hammering in his chest. 'Boy was that something!' he thought. He hoped to god that he wasn't blushing. In that instant, Jack began to sense something inside of him... the little feelings he felt towards Will; they were thickening. And his heart would not stop pounding. 'God. I hoped he felt something.' The teenager looked at Will.
"It was like kissing a girl." Will said blankly, still lost in thought.
"Oh." Jack breathed out, crestfallen.
"Well, now that I've tried it, I know its not so different." Will said cheerfully. "I wonder what it would be like on a real date..." The older youth said pensively and jumped to his feet. "I gotta go now Jack. Thanks a bunch, I'll call you tomorrow okay?"
Will left the room, jingling the change in his pocket. Jack listened as the sound faded down the stairs and disappeared.
"Okay." Jack replied meekly and lied down on the bed.
...falling.... falling.... falling
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"I saw him with his girlfriend once." Noah uttered from his gloomy corner in the apartment. Jack's eyes rose to meet his, and he shrugged.
"So what?"
"They were kissing. He seemed to know how to do it well. I don't know why you tried to 'help' him, if he already knew."
"Maybe you're right. But he was pretty nervous about kissing a guy, and I just wanted to help him get past that." Jack replied tensely. His hand came up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, and he sighed.
It was just the two of them. Noah was reading some book, when he came over. Initially he wanted to talk to Frank about what he had done with Will. Jack had sworn to himself that he would not sit and talk with the mysterious Noah again. But there Jack was, spilling his thoughts out on the coffee table; expecting the smug man to put them in order for him.
"What other childish nonsense have you been teaching him?" Noah asked, closing his book and opening another one.
"Excuse me?" Jack flared. "Nonsense?"
"Well from what I've heard."
"I'll have you know, Im teaching Will the essentials in how to survive and prosper in the gay world!" Jack said haughtily, and pointed a finger at Noah. The man remained placid, but his eyes grew dark.
"How to survive and prosper?! That's like telling a prisoner how to survive in prison. There is no 'world,' just us, and that world out there..." Noah gestured to the window, a virulent look on his handsome face.
"Well, how to have fun at least." Jack said after a moment of quiet.
"You know so little."
"I know enough."
They looked at each other for a while, a heated look on Jack's face, an amused look on Noah's. 'Why is he like this? Why did I come at all?' The young man fumed and considered leaving. He recalled why he was there. Frank would have helped him. He would have supported him and said, "Yes, what you're teaching Will is great. He will be a fully fledged fairy by the end of the month!" But instead his work was given an acrid; 'childish nonsense.'
But his other friend was at church. He was always there on Sunday mornings, it was strange.
"Why does Frank go to church every single Sunday?" Jack pondered aloud.
"I don't know." Noah said, becoming irritated all of a sudden. "I can't picture myself in the middle of a room, praying with a whole bunch of people who hate me."
The words were so bitter, so wry, that Jack couldn't help but feel bothered. His thoughts drifted to Will for some reason, thinking of how the once closeted boy was coping with his family and friends. Will told him that they were mostly distant, but not so horrified as to ostracize him.
Jack sort of felt happy for Will, and envious at the same time; knowing his own father was having difficulty dealing with a gay son. Jack hadn't told his mother about anything. And not surprisingly, his father hadn't told his mother either. They were drifting apart; functioning together only at dinner, breakfast and when the time came to pay the bills. It was only a matter of time before his father left.
He had seen it coming, and regarded it with no interest or emotion. Distant parents, called for a distant reaction from a distanced son.
"You know, they found two kids with AIDS at a high school five miles from here." Noah said all of a sudden, putting down the book he was holding.
"What? AIDS?" Jack asked, a strange feeling arising in his chest. "That disease Frank was talking about the other day?"
"Yes. A girl and her boyfriend were diagnosed with it."
"So?" Jack frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"More and more females have been getting it." Noah stood up to grab his carton of cigarettes. "Don't you watch the news?"
"Well, I've seen stories about it. But I never really paid attention."
"Well, when the disease was first reported, people just ignored it because it was only affecting 'our' people." Noah said sullenly, and fiddled with a cigarette. "But, now that there are more cases of women getting it, people are doing stuff about it."
"Why'd they ignore it?"
"They wanted to let us die off." The older man said harshly, finally bringing the flame of his lighter to the end of his cigarette. Jack did not understand the new virus, or what it was about, or who it even affected. All he knew was that there was no cure; no way out. And if you had it, you were immediately branded a homosexual, or someone who associated with one.
"I don't want to hear about it." Jack sighed, and stretched. "I don't really care either. As long as I don't catch it, Im fine. I don't want to learn the gruesome details, thank you very much."
Jack rose to his feet, trying to forget everything Noah had been talking about. He had other things to think about; like his audition the next week, and when he would see Will again. Pulling his jacket on, the teen gave a small smile at the man on the couch.
"Tell Frank I came by." He said cheerfully and exited. Noah sat peacefully on the recliner, inwardly intrigued with the blithe boy who just left the apartment.
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Jack trotted down the street, smiling, despite himself. His thoughts kept lingering back to that disease Noah was talking about. A few frightening images came up in his head, of men writhing in misery, on cold and sterile hospital beds, with cold and sterile hospital doctors. And all these doctors would know nothing; appeasing their patients with rotting euphemisms.
He decided to not think about it. Something good would happen. They would find a cure, and everyone would be okay. Jack walked up to his gate, a light smile on his face.
"Jack."
The boy nearly jumped out of his shoes. He whirled around to glare at the anxious face of his ex-boyfriend.
"Don't sneak up on me like that!" Jack screeched and opened the gate. He climbed the stoop and pulled out his key.
"Who is he?" Jesse asked from the other side of the gate.
"What?" Jack asked, studying the crazed look of pain and anxiety on his older friend's face.
"Who is that guy you're always with?" He asked more fervently, a menacing hint of anger in eyes. 'What is he following me around or something?' Jack thought, deeply annoyed.
"Oh, you mean Will. Not that its your business, but he's my friend." Jack told him. "As are you. Now go home."
"But-"
"Go home Jesse!" Jack scolded and slammed the door as he entered the house. He rolled his eyes and treaded towards the living room. "Ugh. What a pest."
The house greeted him with its silence. He smirked. He loved it when the house was empty. As he headed to the TV room the silence was split by the ringing of the telephone. Jack skipped to the hallway and picked it up.
"Hellooo!" Jack sang.
"Hello?"
"Oh hi Will!" Jack's face turned even brighter than before at the sound of that voice.
"I think Im in trouble."
"Why?" Jack asked, concerned.
"Well, uh, I was talking to this guy, and he said we could go out for a couple of drinks. Is that like a date?" Will asked on the other end.
"It just sounds casual to me." Jack said in a bored tone.
"What should I do?"
"I don't know. Meet the guy up I guess. " Jack uttered, a bit dejectedly.
"You guess?"
"He sounds straight to me."
"really?"
"I don't know. I think you should just wait for a while Will. You know until you're ready for something like a date or a boyfriend." Jack said. Will was silent for a moment.
"Maybe you're right. Thanks Jack."
"No problem." Jack smiled weakly and hung up the phone.
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School is starting tomorrow. Auditions for Snow White, which I really don't want to go to anymore, are this week also. I mean, the only thing there is for me to play is, Prince Charming, and I doubt Mrs. Coopman will cast me. I just want to be in it; whether playing the piano on the side or just as a tree or something. Of course, in a perfect world, I ,would be Snow White, and all the dwarves would be six feet tall and shamelessly hot. And of course Prince Charming would be the hottest of all!
I hope this semester goes good for me. And I hope Will becomes more confident too. Maybe he will get a boyfriend soon. I'll try and help him with that.
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