This is a fanfic of Naruto, which is the sole property of Masamichi Kishamoto, not myself. I'm just trying to have a little fun with his wonderful series ;;
The following fic is dedicated to Kirigakure, Kaori-Chan and all of my friends at the Konoha Village forums for all their support and kindness. I just hope I can make 'em laugh.
Shikamaru's Prank (title pending)
By: Kiel
Part I
It was a busy day like any other in the hidden village of Konoha. The local barbeque was no exception. Sweat gleamed on the faces of happy patrons from the smoke of the grills, the scent of cooked meat and barbecue sauce wafted through the air.
Seated at their usual booth, team Asuma enjoys a "light" meal after training. Their grill, filled to the edges with beef and salmon, is soon wiped clean by Akamichi Chouji.
"Chouji! You're eating all of our food as well!" yelled Yamanaka Ino as Chouji picks the grill clean.
"If I wait, it'll burn" Chouji says with a full mouth. His jaw works feverishly to chew the large amount of cooked meat he'd stuffed into his mouth.
Asuma, the team's Jounin Sensei, sighs. "Chouji, you should slow down. If you eat that fast you'll make yourself sick" he says.
"Eating fast is what I do best. It doesn't matter how fast I eat, I can taste everything just fine!"
"Eugh…baka" Ino moans as Chouji loads up the grill again with the remaining raw meat.
Asuma sighs again and finishes the last few dregs of his beer. "I'm going to go pay. I guess that's it for today, we'll continue training tomorrow morning," He gets up to leave and gives a tired glance to Chouji.
"Oi, Chouji! You eat too much. You should put forth as much effort into training as you do in eating". With that, he left.
Swallowing, Chouji puts down his chopsticks. He knew Asuma was right, compared to Ino and especially Shikamaru; he did do the least and ate the most.
"Hmmph. Chouji…I guess you're lucky," Ino began. "No matter how much you eat, you don't have to worry. As for me, being on diets is a lot of work, you know?"
"Ino, why are you on a diet?" Chouji asked, puzzled.
"Because girls want to look cute to catch the attention of guys they like!"
"B-but they don't always like skinny people, right?"
"Well," Ino said, flustered. "Generally they…ugh! Guys like girls on the skinny side!
"…And the same goes for girls as well" she finished with a sneer, glancing at Chouji's bulging stomach.
Chouji's face fell. Ino knew she hadn't hurt his feelings as Chouji seemed to be immune to such criticism, but he did look a little more down than he had at the start of their meal.
Ino stood and prepared to leave. "See you two tomorrow". She walked off towards the exit, her bleach blonde ponytail bobbing behind her.
"Heh. She just doesn't get it".
Nara Shikamaru leaned forward. He was silent during the entire meal. He trained the hardest out of the three of them today and Chouji figured he was tired, so he didn't bother him. Shikamaru was one of Chouji's closest friends from childhood. The two of them graduated from ninja academy together.
He grinned as he watched Ino exit.
"Guys don't like skinny girls as much as girls think" He said. "There are a lot of guys who prefer their girls to be a bit chubby, y'know?"
Chouji smiled as he took another piece of meat off the grill with his chopsticks.
"For every girl like Ino," Shikamaru continued. "Dieting and worrying about their weight, there are girls twice her size"...
"You think?" Chouji asked curiously.
"I know. Plus, I figure Ino wouldn't look half bad if she put on a little weight, don't you think?" and with that he made a fat face by puffing out his cheeks.
Chouji laughed.
"Maybe, but Ino would never let herself go…she's too preoccupied with getting attention from Sasuke…" Chouji said, still chuckling.
Shikamaru leaned back and rested his hands behind his head.
"Well, he is the most popular with the girls…almost all of them, Ino included, decided to grow their hair long because there was a rumour that he liked girls with long hair…geez, talk about troublesome".
"It's like they'd do anything for him…" Chouji said with a sigh.
Then Chouji noticed a flicker in Shikamaru's eyes. Shikamaru grinned and began to chuckle.
"What? What's funny?" asked Chouji.
"I think I just got a brilliant idea. It could be troublesome, but if it works-" His sentence was cut short by a small fit of laughter.
Chouji couldn't help but be interested. Shikamaru rarely laughed.
"I've got a plan. Care to join in, Chouji?"
Chouji always liked Shikamaru's plans, mostly because they leaned towards brilliance more often than not. What did he have to lose? Certainly not lunch.
"Count me in!"
Ino strolled through Konoha's shopping district, a large paper bag in her hands. She had been asked to do shopping after training by her mother.
People bustled in and out of shops, yelling and haggling over prices of fish and silk. Ino recognised most of the shoppers instantly,
But he's not around anywhere Ino thought.
She sighed glumly. Ever since the Chuunin exams ended she had been hoping to catch a glimpse of Uchiha Sasuke around town. She barely saw him anymore, not since he became part of Kakashi's team 7 with Haruno Sakura.
Sakura, she scowled at the girl she recognised as her eternal rival. Both she and Sakura had been friends until they realized one important thing they had in common:
A love for Uchiha Sasuke.
Now, Sakura could be around him all she wanted since they were on the same team. She cursed her luck. Ino often wondered why Sasuke hadn't been more attracted to her after the exams. She had grown back more of her hair than Sakura, she had lost more weight than Sakura, and, of course, her forehead was far smaller than Sakura's.
She trudged past more shoppers and began to daydream.
If only I could meet Sasuke here, now, and show him what a superior woman I've become compared to Sakura-nisan, she thought.
Ino looked up to the street in front of her to see none other than the Uchiha himself.
Ino shook her head to make sure she wasn't dreaming.
Sure enough, there he was, dressed in his blue Uchiha clan shirt and white shorts, his dark blue hair pulled back by his head protector, his soulfully deep eyes gazing forward…
"Is…is he looking at me?" She said under her breath.
He was looking right at her!
Ino waved.
Sasuke waved back and smiled.
Eeeeahhhh! He's smiling at me! Ino could barely fight back the urge to blush.
"Sasuke! What a surprise meeting you here!" She said as she skipped towards him.
"Yeah, you too," He said, continuing to smile "It's been a while".
Dreams do come true! She thought. She pulled out the ribbon that held her hair up and let it flow done seductively.
"I really missed seeing you. Notice anything different about me?"
Sasuke looked her up and down.
"H-have you lost weight?" He asked.
Ino couldn't believe it. He actually noticed! She felt positively energized. All her hard work was finally paying off!
"I have! I was slimming down so that I could look more-"
"I don't like it"
Ino stopped. Sasuke had said something. Maybe she hadn't heard him right.
"I-I'm sorry, what?" she asked.
Sasuke's expression changed. He gave Ino a passive gaze.
"I said I don't like it, you losing weight I mean"
"Uh, it's alright Sasuke-kun; you don't need to worry about my health. I'm not sickly or anything like that. I get all the proper nutrition I need".
"That's not what I meant"
"Eh?" Ino said, her face twitching slightly. Was she hearing him right?
"I-I don't understand…"
Sasuke shifted his stance to look towards the sky.
"I'm saying I don't like the way you look".
Ino's face fell. It just couldn't be possible! All her hard work at dieting…and now he says he doesn't like how she looks?!
"What do you mean?! I'm thin aren't I?"
"Yeah, you are," Sasuke said. "but, to be honest…I kind of like girls more…on the chubby side".
If Ino had imagined a response from Sasuke, that sure wasn't it. Her throat felt dry, she felt a little weak.
"ch-ch-ch-chubby?!" she said incredulously. "Are you saying you like girls who are fat?!"
Sasuke smiled. He nodded, turned, and began to walk away, leaving a stupefied Ino behind.
"Oh," He said as he left. "I think you might look better if you gained a bit of weight…Ja ne".
Ino dropped her bag and fell to her knees.
No way! She thought, all this time, Sasuke liked…chubby girls?!
Sasuke turned a corner, and then quickly leapt onto the roof of a building. He began jumping from building to building until he was quite far away. Once he stopped, he checked behind his shoulder, then his surroundings, making sure he wasn't followed.
"Hey, Sasuke!"
Sasuke turned to face Chouji, who was sitting not too far away, shoving fistfuls of potato chips into his mouth.
"So, how'd it go?" Chouji asked with his mouth full.
Sasuke smiled and rubbed the back of his head.
"Not too troublesome I suppose".
With that, Sasuke exploded into a cloud of smoke, revealing Shikamaru!
"So…how about the real Sasuke?" Chouji asked.
"Out of the country training with Kakashi. Naruto told me this morning. It's a secret, so I think we three are the only Genins who know".
"So there's no chance she'll find out you used Henge no jutsu to fool her, is there?"
"I don't think so, no".
"Alright. Did she take the bait?"
Shikamaru sighed and sat down beside his friend.
"I dunno, maybe. We'll see by tomorrow I suppose".
"Okay," Chouji said as he took another handful. "This could shape up to be the greatest prank that's ever been pulled in Konoha".
Ino found herself on a bench beside a few shops. Her grocery bag beside her with her head down low, a look of confusion and grief on her face.
She thought about what Sasuke had told her. She couldn't help but feel she'd wasted a big part of her life.
"He doesn't like thin girls…all that dieting for nothing." She muttered.
"Now he'll never like me…I'm hopeless".
Ino felt lower than she had felt in quite a while, not even the smell of baking could cheer her up.
Ino raised her head and sniffed the air, a delicious smell wafted around where she was sitting. The inviting scent cheered her up.
"What is that? It smells so good", she picked up her back and followed her nose to the source of the smell.
The bench she had been sitting on was right next door to a bakery.
Ino glanced into the front window and was in awe of the variety of baked goods she saw: freshly baked sweet rolls with red bean paste, layered cakes with thick icing, and sheets of delicious looking cookies.
"Sugoi! Everything looks so good".
Ino's stomach growled, having missed out on most of the meat at lunch, she was famished. Her diet hadn't left her in a very good state.
Not that it'll help me now she thought, remembering.
She might as well get something; her diet was pretty much over.
Then it hit her.
She'd been trying to catch Sasuke's eye for years, and now she finally knew something he liked. Long hair aside, this was something he had told her he liked.
And to top it all off, Sakura doesn't know!
A devilish grin spread across Ino's face. She wasn't down and out, far from it! She was the only girl that knew Sasuke's secret and damned if she wouldn't take advantage of it!
"If being thin won't get his attention, I'll just have to go the other way!"
She checked her pouch and fished out a small wad of bills.
575 Ryou, the change from shopping.
Not bad, it'll get me started.
Ino walked into the bakery, right up to the front counter. The baker greeted her friendly:
"Welcome. How can I help you today?"
Ino slapped the bills on the counter.
"I'd like a dozen sweet rolls, two dozen cookies, and…a layer cake, onegai!"
The baker smiled warmly.
"My, is that all for you, young lady?"
Ino grinned.
"Yes, yes it is".
0o 0o 0o