Someday My Prince Will Come
Chapter 15
"Hey! I think he's coming around!"
A worried voice, who's was it?
"Oh my god, poor Jackie!"
Frank. Jack felt heavy with relief as he realized where he was; on a couch in Frank and Noah's apartment. He didn't dare open his eyes right away, for he was sure that would lead to a headache, considering how bright Frank kept his apartment.
"Frank?" he murmured and managed to squint up at his friend. "How did I get here?"
"You don't talk, your jaw looks pretty bad. Ugh." He uttered a sound of disgust and Jack felt something cool being rubbed along his lower lip and down his jawline. He sensed someone else in the room.
"Noah?" Jack tried sitting up, but felt Frank push him back down and scold him in a motherly manner.
"Didn't Frank just tell you not to talk?" Noah snapped. His voice sounded weird to Jack. Unsure of what to make of it, Jack watched as Frank went into the bathroom. He returned with alcohol and peroxide.
"What happened Frank?" Jack asked.
"I should be asking you that question!" the redhead uttered, dampening a cotton swab with rubbing alcohol. He applied it to Jack's lip.
"Ow!"
"Sorry. I don't have that much peroxide left, and I want to use that on your forehead." he replied clinically and did just what he said he would. Jack sighed and shifted to get more comfortable. He eyed Noah curiously, who was puffing away at his cigarette, looking tense and uncomfortable, his eyes directed away from Jack.
After a short while of silence, Frank finished up, sat back and smiled. "Oh Jack, Im glad nothing's broken."
"How would you know?" Noah muttered. "We should have taken him to a hospital."
"Oh be quiet. You don't know anything!" Frank put all the dirty swabs together, with a look of distaste, and stuffed them into the wastebasket nearby. "Noah was driving past your school when he saw you lying next to the bench by the front doors!"
"How? Oh god!" Jack brought a hand to his face in embarrassment.
"You were pretty heavy, but I got you here didn't I?" Noah asked angrily, as if he were being accused of doing something wrong.
"Yeah, thanks..." Jack muttered, still brimming with shame. They were quiet for a little while, very reluctant to talk about what had been the cause of all this.
"I think I have an idea of what took place before Noah found you... but if you want to talk about it... you needn't feel ashamed, you know."
"Its okay. Really." Jack managed a wan smile and took Frank's hand in his own. "Thanks. Im glad it was you I woke up to see." He giggled as Frank rolled his eyes.
"Listen, Im going to pick up something to eat. Anything you'd like, in particular?" The older boy threw his jacket on. Jack shook his head. "Noah?"
"Nah, anything would be fine." The blonde put out his cigarette and reached into his pocket for another one. As soon as Frank left, Jack turned his attention to Noah, whose profile was rigid with something akin to discomfort.
"I saw Will the other day." Noah attempted, still battling with something. Jack quirked an eyebrow, regretting it once he did so; the cut above his brow still stung like hell!
"And?"
"I don't know. I guess you did a good job with him and all, though he's still as bad as he was when he was hiding."
"I don't know what you mean."
"He still needs your help. Although you've hardly any experience yourself, he's hopeless without your guidance."
Jack couldn't help but smile at that comment. That was the closest thing to a compliment he ever received from Noah. As if embarrassed by this admission, Noah rose and walked over to the window, away from Jack's smile.
"You look like crap by the way." murmured Noah.
"Thanks, I feel like crap!" Jack answered dryly, and swung his legs over the side of the couch. They were silent a short moment. "Why were you driving by my school anyway?"
Noah froze briefly, taking his time when removing his cigarette. "Frank and I wanted to know if you wanted to go out to eat with us, he has someone he wants you to meet... "
"Oh... well I guess that's always a good thing. I guess I cant meet this guy now, looking like this!" Jack laughed bitterly, fighting back the tears forming in his eyes, and the ache in his throat.
"It doesn't matter-" Noah stopped talking as he saw Jack crying. Something about this bothered him, and he wanted to scream at Jack for some reason, tell him not to be so weak. Noah had been and seen worse things than this boy in front of him. 'Jack! I've seen what you're scared of! I know all about it! Why are you letting these feelings take over you!' Quickly, Noah calmed his irritation down, almost panicking as a sob broke from Jack's lips.
"Jack..."
"No, Im fine. Its just, I just, need..."
"What? What is it?" Noah kept his distance, still very reluctant to touch Jack at this moment.
"I miss Will so much. I was such an ass the last time I saw him. He was all by himself and I just laughed and walked past him with my friend, Jesse, and he probably hates me! And I-"
"Hey. Calm down... " Noah said, almost soothingly, and he crouched down in front of Jack. By this time, the boy was nearly hyperventilating. "Its not like he was yours or anything. You two were just friends, Jack. You can still fix things..."
"I wanted him to be mine!" Jack gritted out fervently.
"He still can be. But you've really got to know what you're doing Jack... how do you plan to make him yours, if you've know idea, what you're doing? He'll see someone just as confused and afraid as he is! Who would want to depend on someone like that?"
Jack listened, not wanting to understand this man's meaning. His eyes, still glittering with tears, fell to Noah's cigarette as he spoke.
"You can't go on like this Jack. You can't keep running away from these things. You must confront them now, before they get you, when you aren't prepared." Noah let out an exasperated sigh, suddenly very angry with himself and his inability of expressing to Jack, exactly what he wanted to say. "We don't have much time, do what you can Jack, while you can... that's all Im saying."
Noah hurriedly jumped to his feet, feeling very strange and emotional all of a sudden. Jack stayed quiet, not moving, and still not truly comprehending what the blonde had meant. But as he sat there, a gust of realization hit him. This person cared about him, and wanted to teach him something just now...
"Thank you, Noah." Jack said softly, meaning it. His friend nodded, trying to ignore the strange feeling in his chest as he stared out the window.
"Listen, I gotta go make a phone call... I'll be right back." Noah went into the bedroom.
Jack decided to stay for the night. Or rather he gave in to Frank's fussing and worrying. Leaving a message for his mother on the answering machine, informing her of his location, he watched his older friends as they prepared dinner and set up the sofa bed for him. It was a bit unnerving for Jack, seeing the usually aloof Noah so concerned and genial with him. There were hardly any sarcastic or acerbic remarks exchanged between them. In fact both men were extremely watchful over Jack that night. They hovered around him, like two satellites, dutifully taking shifts on keeping him company.
"Don't you two have classes tonight?" he asked, a bit self-consciously.
"Oh no. Not for me. Its Friday." Frank said. "Noah, don't you?"
"No. Not anymore."
"See, we're staying right here!" Frank smiled brightly.
"You want some hot chocolate Jack?" Noah asked suddenly. Jack's eyes widened in surprise.
"Uh, sure."
"He makes a killer cup of hot chocolate!" exclaimed Frank. "Unfortunately, it's the only thing he's capable of making!"
"Ha, ha." Droned Noah. "But it is true." He set to preparing the hot chocolate. Jack watched him mildly, not truly believing that this was the same young man who had been infuriating, and mocking him for the past couple of months.
Frank eyed him curiously. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Just thinking how cruddy everything got, in such a short time." he replied miserably.
"Yes, well, its crappy now, you make it through, and when you meet something worse, you wonder how you possibly could have ever complained about the first problem!"
"Stupid closet cases!" Jack hissed as he accidentally brushed his hand against a bruise. "I hate them all!"
"Oh Jack, calm down. What about Will? He was once like that. I was once like that."
"I've known since forever, why is everyone else so stupid?" he demanded in exasperation.
"Don't be so arrogant Jack." Noah uttered from the kitchen. He returned to the living area with three mugs of hot chocolate on a tray. Jack took a mug with a small nod of thanks and let the sweet aroma float up to warm his face. He glanced down at the brown liquid.
"This is so fattening." he said flatly.
"Just drink it." Frank scolded. They nursed their drinks in silence, keeping their eyes averted.
"Maybe I am being a little weird..." Jack murmured absently. "Im just very angry still. At Will, at James, at everyone."
"James? Did he do this?" Frank asked gently.
"I can't wait to see how he comes to school next week. He'll either be pissed or scared and nervous as hell."
"What would he be scared of?" Noah asked.
"I don't know. I told him I knew he was gay and he freaked out and ran off." Jack sipped at the chocolate, and smiled. "Biggest reaction I've gotten out of him yet!"
"That's a little sadistic Jack!" Frank said in a bit of shock.
"So what! He's the monster. And I hope he gets what he deserves! I hope the pain eats at him until he implodes on himself! I hope all his friends find out, and I hope his parents find out, and I hope everyone he looks at will know, and tell him that they know!"
"Do you feel that way about Will?"
"No! Of course not!" Jack bristled. "Will is different. Will is kind and beautiful and not an angry, disgusting sicko like James! Will was pathetic. But he dealt with everything himself. He didn't pin his pain on anyone else... Im so proud of him." Jack allowed a dreamy smile to grace his features. "You know he has the nicest hair? So fine and thick... I hope it stays that way. Im worried he'll go bald before he's forty!"
Noah and Frank exchanged glances.
"Why aren't you talking to him again?" Frank asked. Jack moaned in despair and put his mug on the coffee table.
"He's just so stupid! And so am I. And you're right Noah; I don't know what Im doing!" He fell back on the sofa dramatically, draping an arm across his eyes.
"Oh Jack, just call him!"
"No, he hates me! He hates me!" He thrashed about like an angry child. "I'll never be happy again!"
Noah rolled his eyes, some of his former sarcastic persona returning to him. "Jack, must you do that? Whining like that makes me want to smack you across the face!" All he received was a sigh from Jack, who truly began to feel the pain of what happened that day, falling on him. Despite having his older friends there, supporting him, his need for Will's friendship superceded that.
"Jack, I'll call Will for you! It'll make things better!" Frank said cheerfully and reached for the phone.
"No!" Jack exclaimed, sitting up at once to stop his friend. "Don't do that! I'll call him."
"Promise?"
"I promise. I'll call him on Monday after school. He usually spends his weekends with his mother, so I'll have to wait til then." said Jack, and smiled softly at the thought of talking to his friend again.
"All right. Well, Im feeling tired Jackie." Frank said and cleared away the dishes they had been using. "If you need anything, I'll be right in my room. Don't worry All right?"
Jack nodded and watched his friend disappear into the bedroom. Noah fidgeted for a couple of seconds before he rose and prepared for bed.
"Don't go Noah. Just stay with me... " pleaded Jack, who began shaking with an inexplicable sense of loneliness. He looked up at the older man, hoping by hearing his words, or by feeling his presence; he could understand what to do, and how to make something of his growing love for Will.
Noah hesitated a moment, before something fell away in his eyes, and he took a seat in his favorite armchair. Nervously he fiddled with a pack of cigarettes, and gazed at the white wall some distance from him. His eyes refused to return to the troubled young man on the sofa, who understood so little and yet wanted so much.
"Noah. What do you think I should do? About Will? Should I just tell him how I feel and hope for the best, or should I wait until Im more 'experienced' like you say?"
Noah sighed, and lit up another stick as he thought, "You can't wait for Will, who knows even less than you do about what to do. Do you really expect him to be grateful to someone like you, who has never even truly understood what it means to be one of us?" It came out harsher than he intended it to be, and Jack was stilled into silence. After a meaningful pause, Noah added, "You've been trying to 'educate' him when this whole time, you knew nothing. Jack, neither you nor Will is prepared for anything. You can't teach him anything about loving a man, unless you know yourself."
"I know plenty!" Jack whispered fervently, and scowled defiantly. "I may not know every single dark thing about living and being like this, but I know about living like I want to, about enjoying what's important to me. And if that means ignoring all the other bad stuff, all the 'real and serious' things you're talking about, well I don't really care!"
"Jack." Noah hissed with sudden fervor, "I can help you if you want."
"What do you mean?" Jack frowned in confusion.
"What to give to Will, I can help you with that." Noah said, his confidence returning as he took a long drag.
"How?" Jack questioned skeptically.
"I can show you." Noah's eyes met Jack's. The blonde crushed his cigarette in the ashtray, and he stood, all ready to go to sleep. Jack shook his head in agitation and he fell back against the pillows of the sofa.
"Just think about it." Noah said with a touch of finality, before his door closed shut behind him.
Jack remained in Frank and Noah's apartment, enjoying their company. The time spent there was uneventful, save the random and unexpected fits of aggravation Jack expressed when Noah's strange behavior wore on his nerves. He slept on the sofa, even during the day, just reading magazines or writing in his new journal that replaced the other one. He dreaded going to school on Monday, but felt it was just one more week until Spring Break. Hopefully he would be able to spend that break with Will.
He looked forward to phoning his friend, and wondered just how he would regain his friendship. Would things be the same?
Jack began his week at school, remaining out of sight and away from his enemies. He was weary and angry enough to lash out physically, if they provoked him. But surprisingly no one really bothered him, and James seemed to be missing in action. He hadn't shown up for school at all. Not that Jack truly cared for his welfare; but he was curious as to why the senior was not attending school.
For a boy who had just recovered from the harshest altercation of his life, Jack carried himself with a pride and strength that no one else in his position could have dared to emulate. He felt nothing but contempt for those around him; almost an arrogance at being part of something that these fools were not. He was fully prepared to confront his former aggressor, should he show up. And he was ready to remind James of the condition he was in, the condition they shared, and how he came to know about it.
After school that Monday, Jack raced home, a nervous smile on his face. He darted in through the door and went up to his room to call Will. He opened his door and shrieked madly as he bumped straight into someone.
"Jesse! What the hell are you doing in here?!" He asked, more frightened than angry. Jesse just gave a sweet smile and sat down on the bed.
"I was waiting for you. You didn't call me all weekend, I was worried, and you weren't here when I came by. You really scared me, I thought you had gone missing!"
"Jeez, calm down. As you can see I am perfectly fine."
"What's this?" Jesse asked, addressing the bruise below Jack's right eye.
"Oh nothing. Just school. You don't have to worry. Im fine now!" Jack said hurriedly, almost angrily. He really wanted to call Will, and this man was distracting him! "Listen I have a phone call to make, so I think you should go now. Thanks for dropping by... even if it was a little creepy that you were in here!" He guided Jesse out of his room by the elbow, and gestured to the stairs. "I'll see you later okay?"
"You swear it?" Jesse's face lit up. He really is good looking, Jack thought absently.
"Yea sure!" Jack said quickly, and gave Jesse a quick hug to humor his pushy friend. He spied Jesse fiddling with something in the deep pocket of his coat, but he thought on it no more.
"You really are a sweet thing Jack." Jesse said and kissed Jack on the mouth before retreating down the stairs.
Jack sighed and rolled his eyes. He plopped down on his bed and took the phone in hand. He dialed quickly, praying silently that his friend was there. It rang several times before Rob answered.
"Hello?"
"Hello there. Is Will in?" He asked brightly and played with the cotton on his blanket.
"Uh, not at the- oh wait he just walked in... Will its for you." Jack heard shuffling and movement.
"Hello?"
Jack felt his heart wrench at the sound of his friend's voice. He hadn't realized just how much he loved him until he heard him speak.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" Came the voice again. Jack started and cleared his throat.
"Hi Will, its me Jack."
"Jack!" a strange sigh. "I've been calling you all weekend."
"You have?"
"Yea. I wanted to know if you wanted to go somewhere."
"Oh." Jack let out a shaky sigh. "I've really missed you."
"I know. Me too. Im so sorry for what happened at my grandmother's cabin. I've just been very stupid and paranoid lately. I wasn't being a very good friend."
"Oh its All right. And Im sorry for snubbing you at the coffee shop that time I saw you. I was being paranoid and stupid too. Next time, I'll just insult you straight out!" Jack laughed, and felt relieved to hear Will chuckling on the other end.
"Listen, since Spring Break is next week, I was hoping we could do something!"
"Oh for sure! Anything to get as far away from my school as possible."
"Why? Are things still really bad?"
"Oh they reached a new height, but I think its been taken care of. Im not concerned about it anymore. Not anymore." Jack smiled, relishing the sound of Will's voice as he began speaking again.
"Well, I was thinking we could just go crazy and party or something, but then, Im really not that type of guy. And then I was thinking we could go to the countryside, but that would be too boring. So Im not truly sure what to do... as long as its not too crazy or too boring." Will laughed nervously.
"Well, we still have THIS week to plan, so we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves."
"All right then. Well I'll call you later okay? I have a class starting in an hour with one hell of a mid-term waiting for me!"
"Okay then. Love ya, kisses!!" Jack's smile reached his eyes.
"Bye!"
Hanging up the phone, Jack jumped up for joy and began hopping about the room, a few happy little noises escaping him as he did so. "Yay! Yay! Yay!" Sighing, he fell back on his bed and promptly fell asleep.
By Friday Jack and Will had made their Spring Break plans. Jack smiled to himself, happily awaiting the school day to end. He had just returned to the locker room from gym class, and began changing into his normal clothes. He was slower than usual as he noticed that most of the students had gone home by the time he was finished. He smiled at his reflection and toyed with his hair. The cuts and bruises had cleared for the most part and he no longer felt so low. He caught the image of James behind him.
Jack spun around so quickly, it startled the older boy and caused him to step back. Glaring at his nemesis, Jack thought about what this boy could possibly want now. He hadn't shown up all week for school, and he looked awful. Scanning his enemy with his eyes, Jack let out a sigh; James was a mess, he was nervous and unsure. Jack definitely had the advantage now. "What? What is it? You going to throw another trash can at me, hoping that'll make everything better for you?"
"No, I-"
"Have you come to make sure I pay for what I said to you? It wont help you any. It wont make it untrue."
"I wanted to say, Im sorry."
Jack hadn't been expecting that! But he discarded this boy's apology at once. "No. Get away, you have nothing, you are nothing. You gross me out and you're a mess."
"Please. I need your help..."
"I have no help to give you."
"Yes, I know you can help me. Please." James certainly seemed sincere now. Jack looked him over once more. Something inside him told him to tell this boy something. But something else, something greater and angrier told him to let this kid suffer on his own. He was after all, his enemy and not his friend, not his problem. He had gone out of his way to make Jack pay for his own problem, for his own selfish denial of what was real and what was the truth! Jack was filled with a sudden, violent hatred for this stupid oaf for even daring to approach him after such disgusting behavior.
"No. You are alone. I don't care about you at all." Jack shook off the boy's insistent hand, clinging to his arm. "I hate you, and I hope no one feels sorry for you, ever!" Jack walked off, seething, but restraining himself.
"Wait!" James cried out, almost too dramatically for Jack to bear.
"You know, I once felt sorry for you. But nothing can help you now. You've fucked up on your own. Leave me alone. Never talk to me again, or I'll tell everyone, everything that you are afraid to tell yourself!" Jack spat out the words with more venom than he'd ever thought he was capable of. He deserted the troubled young man, and walked off, feeling somewhat proud, and somewhat ashamed for such a way to treat someone.
He shook it off, and remembered he had a great Spring Break with Will to think about. And he smiled.
(Note: I am truly and deeply sorry for the disgustingly long delay. I promise to complete this story before Christmas. Please forgive me. I have had personal problems, and I know that is still unfair, and I have been distracted.)