Author's note:
Hello dear reader, nice to see you again. This story is officially my first fan fiction. It's also the longest piece of fiction I've ever written. Phew, writing can be tedious work!
This story originally started out as a joke I made while on the Konoha Village forums. When I discovered that people thought it was funny I decided to take it a step further. Now, it's a four-chapter story! Wow, talk about a joke going horribly awry.
I honestly didn't plan for "Shikamaru's Prank" to run this long. It was originally supposed to be only a one-part comedy fic. But now, it has ballooned into something a little more. I don't have an exact ending planned, just a couple of rough ideas.
So, if you'd like to see it end a certain way, please e-mail me! My address should be on my profile. I'd like to use other people's ideas in this fic…pretty much because I'm running out of ideas. So please, send them in!
Thanks again for reading! Please leave a review, as I love criticism and other people's input!
Kiel
The sun was setting over Konoha. The entire village was bathed in the orange and red light of the setting sun, like a fiery herald announcing the end of another day. A cool breeze swept across the streets, carrying leaves and items from overturned garbage bins. The cool breeze reached a small sake bar on the northern side of the village, chilling its patrons. Cushioned stools lined the counter of the bar, where patrons relaxed and conversed about their successes and woes during the day's events.
Tsunade, still dressed in her green jacket, poured herself another saucer of sweet sake. She drained the saucer quickly; her hand felt something soft brush against it. Atop her head was the Hokage headpiece. The wide hat's white tassels drooped onto the counter and her arm as she leaned to pick up the now empty bottle of sake.
The headpiece stood for the valour and courage of the previous Hokage's accomplishments. It was an important symbol of the strength of the Konohagakure's leader.
"Oi, barkeep. Another bottle please". Tsunade mumbled, shaking the empty bottle between her fingers.
The bartender reached under the counter and brought up another china bottle filled with sake. He poured Tsunade another shot and placed it beside her. "That's your second bottle tonight. Rough day, Hokage-sama?" He asked.
Tsunade took a swill of the sake. "You could say it was rough, yes. You don't need to refer to me as Hokage-sama though. Tsunade will do, if you don't mind".
"Gomen, it's just that with the Hokage's hat, it makes you look so official" the bartender smiled.
Tsunade scowled and finished her saucer.
"I hate this hat…I never wear it normally…not since the inauguration ceremony".
"Then why does Tsunade-sama wear it, I wonder?" The bartender asked playfully.
Tsunade sighed. "This hat always reminds me of the greatness of all the previous Hokages. The First, Second, Sarutobi sensei…not to mention the Fourth. The Yondaime especially" She said, remembering the Fourth's sacrifice. "They were all great leaders and great shinobi. It sometimes makes me feel inferior".
"Ah, but you are a Sanin! One of the greatest shinobi in the entire Fire country!"
"You're right," Tsunade mumbled. "I'm a great shinobi…but I sometimes wonder, am I a great leader as well? Can I really live up to my predecessors in terms of leadership? It can be quite discouraging, you know?"
The bartender grunted, cleaning out a few empty glasses. "I'm sure you'll be a great leader," he said.
Tsunade lowered her head, causing the headpiece to slide down and obscure her face.
"I had to make a very difficult decision today," she said.
"It didn't involve diplomats or country leaders. It wasn't even about our Jounin elite. It was about whether to help out one of our Genin ninjas with a personal problem".
Tsunade sighed and continued.
"She wanted me to help her attract a boy that she likes…no, a boy that she loves"
"What did you do?" The bartender asked, now curious.
Tsunade leaned back on her stool and laughed. The headpiece fell onto the counter. "I helped her! I took it upon myself to use a technique I probably shouldn't have to help this girl". Tsunade continued to chuckle. "Now, I'm not so sure it was a good idea, but I did it anyway. There was just something about her…something familiar…" She trailed off.
The bartender refilled Tsunade's saucer once again.
"You didn't answer my original question, you know that, right?" He smiled.
"You're right," She said, taking a sip of the sake. "I didn't".
Kotetsu stretched out on his bed. His forehead protector and uniform removed, he relaxed and enjoyed the moment of silence. His body was stiff from working and filing, his eyes sore from reading.
Being the assistant of the Hokage wasn't easy.
He recounted the day's events of plowing through numerous documents that had to be presented to the Hokage, the amount of boxes of files and old communiqués that had to be carried from the Hokage's office to the archives.
If that wasn't enough, Tsunade was the most fickle and difficult person he had ever worked with. She was always asking for favors from him. She sent him on errands constantly. From retrieving books and contacting other ninjas to the most trivial of matters, like attending to her broken window or supervising the academy students, even when there were more than enough teachers there. Kotetsu suspected she just wanted him to be away so that she could go and drink or sneak in a nap.
Today had been especially odd, though.
She sent him off to retrieve ink and brushes, then to go shopping for snacks. To top it all off, she wanted all these things delivered to her in the Chuunin exam stadium's sealing room.
Later on, she fetched him again to clean up. He remembered seeing her drag off a young girl, saying something about completing an important technique before leaving. He gathered up spent candles and the ink supplies, as well as the garbage from the onigiri and package of mochi he had bought earlier!
It was obvious that some kind of sealing had been performed, but Kotetsu hadn't the faintest idea of what it was or why it had been done. Tsunade hadn't told him anything and kept him busy with other matters. He suspected that it must have been something quite important and secret for her not to tell him.
But that girl!
Kotetsu thought he recognized the girl Tsunade was dragging off. It was the girl who told him she had to speak with the Hokage earlier on. What was her name? Haruno…something or other?
He sighed. If Tsunade was keeping him in the dark, it was fine with him. Her private business was, after all, her private business. Best not to dwell on it, he thought.
But one thing kept coming back to him.
The girl Tsunade was dragging away looked huge! Nothing like the petit frame of Haruno What's her face he had met earlier that day.
Kotetsu closed his eyes.
He slept soundly, visions of chubby girls played through his mind as he dreamed.
Tsunade stumbled through the streets, making her way back to her apartment. She felt her motor skills weaken, causing her to swagger drunkenly along her way.
Damn sake she thought. Damn me for drinking so much. What was I thinking?
Tsunade looked upward to the giant stone faces of the four previous Hokages. The Hokage monument stared sternly down on her. She wondered whether she should have answered the barkeep's question or not. She did, after all, have an answer.
She had worn it because she did feel inferior. Inferior to the other Hokages.
She had been Hokage for almost a month. After Sarutobi sensei's death, work had come in quickly. She felt like a chicken running with its head cut off. On top of that, she had to send her compatriot, Shizune, along with the other Jounins to complete the immense number of missions that had been requested of Konoha. Not having Shizune around made her feel even more out of place. Sure she'd found a replacement, but Kotetsu was a complete nag. Hardly what she really wanted in a friend, but he did his job quite well.
She wondered whether taking the position of Hokage had been a wise choice after all. She stared into the grim faces of the monument again.
"What?" she slurred. "So what hic if I drink…Ima gonna hic show you all! I'll be a great Hokage, juuuust you wait an' see!"
Tsunade couldn't decide whether she had drank because she was depressed or because she was happy, perhaps a bit of both, maybe.
The last few hours were a complete blur, like a series of events that happened far too fast. She remembered using her technique on Sakura, how she had painted her body and then force-fed her the mochi. It was the last step that seemed the most clear however.
She had concentrated the exact amount of chakra needed to stimulate the newly produced phospholipids within Sakura's body. She aligned Sakura's heartbeat and body rhythm to her own, which made their synchronization easier. It was here that she noticed Sakura was in pain.
Tsunade's shock caused a tremor in the chakra flow. Tsunade had no idea that a lipid expansion at that size would be painful. All of the times she had performed the technique on herself, the only side effect was a slight feeling of her skin being stretched. She cursed herself now for not anticipating it beforehand.
Once the rhythm had been corrected, the expansion began. This was the point where Sakura passed out. With her patient unconscious, she continued the jutsu.
After almost an hour of allocating the Genin's new abundance of fat cells, Tsunade ended it. She then quickly checked Sakura's vital signs, ensuring she was okay. Then, she checked the condition of her spinal chord and medulla oblongata to make sure that the nerve connections between her brain and her diaphragm hadn't been damaged.
All of Sakura's nerves and organs were undamaged. She was alright.
The technique was a success.
Tsunade reached her apartment building. She scaled the steps to reach her room. A pile of scrolls and folders lied on her doorstep.
Kotetsu must have dropped them off she thought. It seemed like he never wanted her to have a moment's peace. She bent down and scooped up her new load of work, then opened her door.
Light pierced the darkness of her apartment. Like her office, it was cluttered. Books, documents and old mementos took up the majority of the living space. She dropped Kotetsu's delivery onto a table with a satisfying PLOP. Tsunade winced at the sound, suddenly remembering.
She had a guest tonight.
Tsunade moved over to her couch, where Haruno Sakura lay sleeping. She'd been completely unconscious when they had finished, and Tsunade didn't exactly look forward to dropping Sakura off at her parents looking like she did now. Sakura hadn't mentioned telling her parents anything about what she was doing, so Tsunade thought it was best to leave it for the morning.
Poor kid, all tuckered out. Tsunade pulled the covers over Sakura's exposed shoulders, worried she'd catch a cold.
Tsunade made her way to bed, stumbling a bit, thinking about Sakura. There was just something about her that interested her, her eagerness and determination to get this boy's attention, the boy from that Uchiha clan nonetheless.
Something about her reminded Tsunade of the past.
Her past.
Shikamaru sat on the edge of his bed, lost in thought. He couldn't get the memory of his meeting with Ino earlier today out of his mind. It was as if his entire body felt out of sorts, like he was no longer comfortable in his own skin.
There was a knock at his bedroom door.
"Shikamaru? Can I come in?"
The voice was his mother's. "Hai, hai" he responded.
Shikamaru's mother walked in. Wearing a long purple robe covered by a white cooking apron, she exuded motherliness. Her face became cross.
"Only one hai! Grammar is important you know," She said.
"Did you come in only to lecture me about grammar, or was there a real reason?" He said irritably.
"You don't need to get smart with me, young man. I just wanted to check up on you. You were awfully quiet at dinner, more so than usual. Is something wrong?"
Shikamaru sighed.
"No mom, I'm fine," he said.
"Are you sure? Your idiot father may not be concerned with your emotional well being, but I am".
"That's nice to know, mom"
Shikamaru's mother threw her arms up. "Alright, fine. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. Just remember that I'm always here for you son"
"Okay, thanks".
Shikamaru's mother moved to leave.
"If it's about a girl, don't talk to your father. He'll just start spouting nonsense again," She said as she left.
Shikamaru's hands clenched.
"Troublesome women…then again, dad wouldn't be much help either" He said under his breath.
He lay back on his bed and cupped his hands into a seal. This was his special thinking position. He used it whenever he had to think up a solution to a complex problem, and this certainly qualified.
C'mon, think! Think, think, think…
"It's so nice to hold you like this"Ino's voice rang through his head.
Damnit! Gotta' concentrate on something else!
Shikamaru turned his attention to his surroundings. Puzzles and games littered the floor of his room. He settled on his Shogi board, where he had been trying to solve a challenge Asuma had given him earlier that week.
"Okay, ko to E5, ten to B7"
"So how do you feel about me now?"
"Crap! I can't think straight!"
No matter what he tried to do, Ino's voice always came back to him.
He couldn't make sense of what he was feeling. He hadn't felt this way towards Ino before. He had just thought of her as one of his teammates, one of his comrades.
A noisy, stuck up, bossy comrade he thought.
But now, it was different. What was it about her that made him feel differently now?
The answer was obvious, of course. Shikamaru just didn't want to believe it.
"So what if Ino's fatter now? That shouldn't change anything. It's a prank! I think she looks terrible!"
Is that true? A little voice in his head whispered.
Did he feel sorry for doing this to Ino? Not really, it must be something else. He didn't want to face up to what it was that he was feeling. It made him feel ashamed.
Was he attracted to Ino now?
Now that she had gained all that weight?
Shikamaru squinted his eyes and groaned.
Yeah, that's gotta' be it.
Accepting this fact made getting through the night a little easier. In fact, it made it a lot more enjoyable on the whole.
The prank had to continue. Shikamaru just couldn't think of what he should do next.
Sakura awoke, feeling quite groggy. The sun shone in her eyes, making it hard to see. She felt weak and exhausted, as if had stayed up all night on one of Kakashi sensei's missions. She could barely lift her head. The thought of simply falling back asleep crossed her mind, but she resisted. Something felt different.
She looked around to find that she wasn't in her own bed, but on a couch. A couch in a room she didn't recognize. Nothing about her surroundings seemed familiar.
Where was she?
She tried to remember what she had done last night, her mind straining. She recalled something Ino had told her that morning, then going to see Tsunade-sama about-
The technique!
What had happened? Did it work?
Sakura tried to move, but found her body wouldn't respond. It was as if she was made of lead. Sakura, now wide awake, began to panic.
"Ohiyo-Woah! Calm down" A voice called.
Sakura turned her head to see Tsunade rush up to her. She placed her palm on Sakura's brow. Sakura's eyes began to well up with tears.
"Tsunade-sama, I can't move" she whimpered pitifully.
"Shhhh…daijoubu. It's okay. It'll pass. Your body will regain its feeling in a moment. Try to lay still" She cooed.
Sakura took a few deep breaths. She felt her breathing return to normal and began to calm down.
Tsunade knelt beside her. "That's better. Don't scare me so early in the morning, okay?" She said, relieved.
Sakura found herself full of questions.
"Ano, where am I? No, what happened last night?! Was the technique as success?!" She asked, becoming anxious again.
"Whoa, one at a time! You're in my apartment. I contacted your parents and told them you were training with me and would have to spend the night. I think they'll be quite surprised when you get home". Tsunade said, making an awkward smile.
"Wait, you mean? Was the technique a success?"
Tsunade's awkward face progressed. She laughed stupidly.
"Eh heh heh. Why don't you see for yourself" Tsunade pulled off the covers on the sofa.
Sakura peered down at herself.
At first, she didn't quite know what she was looking at. It was as if there was something blocking her view of her stomach. She then realized that was her stomach.
"Wha…uueeeehhhh?!" She squealed.
Sakura's stomach extended far in front of her. It was almost the size of a beach ball. It was perfectly round as well. She noticed her breasts had become fuller as well. She now had an ample bust. Her body had completely changed!
"I-is this really me?" Sakura asked Tsunade.
"The final stage of the jutsu involves stimulating the phospholipids that are replicated during the first stage. By manipulating them with chakra, I was able to form new fat cells in your body by collecting the lipids together. I'm afraid I wasn't prepared for how it would turn out on such a large scale. I didn't think it would be painful for you. I'm sorry.
Once I'd expanded the fat cells in your stomach I was free to move them about in your body. I let them follow the paths to where fat is normally stored in your body, but quite a bit still remained in your stomach. I'll have to give you a cream to prevent stretch marks from forming".
"Stretch marks?" Sakura asked, wild eyed.
"Well, yes. Your epidermis stretched an incredible amount in order to accommodate the large amount of new fat in your body. This is probably why you're having trouble moving".
Sakura tried to get up again. It was easier this time, and she felt the feeling come back to her limbs. She raised her arm, noticing it was much chubbier than it had been yesterday.
"S-sugoi…I really look completely different. Now, Sasuke will definitely notice me. Not just notice me, in fact, he'll love me!"
Sakura was overwhelmed. She threw her arms around the kneeling Tsunade's shoulders, crushing her in a big hug.
"Arigato Tsunade-sama! Arigato!"
"Ack! S-Sakura!" Tsunade slipped on the hardwood floor of the room, dragging Sakura down off the couch with her.
Sakura landed on the Godaime with a loud ploomp. Tsunade gasped for air as Sakura's giant mass of a body weighed down on her.
"Sakura…can't…breath!" She wheezed.
"Ooh, gomen-na sai! Gomen" Sakura said hastily as she rolled off of Tsunade.
Tsunade sat upright, trying to catch her breath. She gave a shaky smile to Sakura.
"I take it you're happy with how you look?" She asked.
Sakura gave a wide smile. "I just can't believe it's possible! I can't thank you enough!"
Tsunade waved her away. "Just remember our promise. If anything changes, or if you feel weird or unusual at any point, please see me immediately. There's always the chance this technique could backfire somehow…"
Tsunade noticed that Sakura wasn't listening. She was feeling all of her new folds and curves.
"Everything's so jiggly, it's unreal!" Sakura giggled, shaking her tummy.
Tsunade sighed. Everything seemed to have worked out okay, Tsunade thought to herself.
Maybe she would be a decent Hokage after all.
Sakura exited Tsunade's and entered the early morning light of dawn. She wore a dress Tsunade had given her, as her old red one couldn't possibly fit. She'd have to buy an entirely new wardrobe. Sakura also carried a small container filled with the cream Tsunade had mentioned before.
Sakura decided that the first thing she was going to do was visit Sasuke and show him her new 'image'. She'd also bring him the breakfast she'd forgotten from the day before.
Everything seemed like it was perfect.
Then Sakura felt a strange rumbling erupt from deep within her distended belly. A new, almost primal feeling washed over her. She could smell a wondrous scent wafting though the air. Her mouth began to moisten, the rumbling increased in volume.
Sakura was hungry.
Sakura wanted to eat.
Sakura, now referring to herself in the third person, began to walk towards the shopping district.
Maybe a little breakfast for myself before I see Sasuke she thought.
So, Sakura waddled her way towards the wonderful smells of food.
0o 0o 0o