"There's no way you can hit that. It's impossible. You'll just embarrass yourself if you try."

"Oh, that sounds like a challenge."

"Not a challenge, just fact. I may not be good at physics or statistics or any other subject at school, but I do know you're not going to hit that leaf with that rock," Steve said confidently, crossing his arms across his chest. Billy took a lazy puff of his cigarette, raising his eyebrows at Steve's declaration. Steve enjoyed playfully riling up the other boy. It helped bring him out of his shell more.

The two of them were hanging out at the lake. Max was out with her mom for the day and all the rest of the kids had family things planned as well. He and Billy were the odd ones out. They were the ones who didn't have family who cared about spending time with them. But Steve enjoyed his time with Billy, so he couldn't complain.

"Prepare to be schooled, Harrington," Billy smirked, launching his rock at the water and hitting the leaf with a resounding thwack. He stuck his arms out, as if he was receiving a round of applause from an invisible crowd.

"You only hit that because of my encouragement."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"You think about playing any sports besides basketball? We could always use more bodies on the swim team."

"I'm not really a joiner. And even less when it comes to school related things. Unless the girl's team practices at the same time," Billy grinned, running his tongue across his teeth.

"You're so ridiculous," Steve sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.

"I don't know if you realize how good of a distraction girls are. Those couple hours in bed make everything else disappear," Billy said wistfully, taking a last puff of his cigarette and stubbing it out against the bottom of his boot. Steve wasn't going to comment on the "hours" part. If that was what was expected, no wonder Nancy broke up with him.

"I guess I'm more of a relationship kind of guy. Spending time with someone and really getting to know them," Steve shrugged.

"I bet."

"There's nothing wrong with keeping things casual though," Steve added quickly. He didn't want to offend Billy or make it sound like he was judging him. It made sense that Billy wouldn't want to put down roots with someone in a place he didn't want to stay. "High school romances don't usually last."

"Speaking from experience."

"Unfortunately," Steve sighed. He was getting over Nancy, but the wound was still fresh. The lack of closure didn't help. It was like one minute they were together and the next they weren't, without a true conversation. But monsters, then spending time with Billy and Max had taken up his time and Steve hadn't seen Nancy much since. They probably did need to talk, but Steve wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle anymore vitriol from Nancy. He knew that her harsh words had come out thanks to the booze, but they still had come from somewhere inside of her. Alcohol didn't usually make people liars.

"Whoa, where did you go?" Billy asked, snapping his fingers in front of Steve's face. He jerked back in surprise, blinking a few times to focus on his surroundings again. The quiet of the lake was making Steve all introspective.

"Sometimes I wish that my parents would get a divorce," Steve blurted out. Billy looked at him quizzically, but didn't say anything. "Before I used to tell myself it was because my mom deserved better than my cheating dad, but that's not really it."

"Then why?" Billy asked. Steve stared out toward the water, letting his gaze focus on nothing in particular.

"They'd have to come home to deal with everything, right? Even if it was just to figure out who gets the house or whatever. But then my mom wouldn't be going on his business trips anymore. And maybe my dad would end up getting a different job. Or maybe they'd both take off in different directions and leave me behind for good. I don't know, but I think anything would be better than this nothing I'm stuck in," Steve explained, laughing bitterly. He was almost an adult and didn't need his parents to tuck him in at night, but the little boy inside of him that hadn't been completely snuffed out yet still yearned for that affection. "Does that make me selfish?"

"Does it make me selfish that sometimes I wish that my mom had never left my prick of a father?" Billy wondered.

"No."

"I know she left to save herself and it was the right call for her, but dammit if it wouldn't be nice to have someone there to make things a little easier. I'm not saying I'd want my dad to rage on her instead of me, but she'd come to me after sometimes and tell me how we were going to get away from him someday and be happy and I believed her. It was what I clung to. But in the end, she saved herself and forgot about me."

"I'm not gonna try to defend what she did, since it's not my place, but-"

"It's fine. I'm used to people not giving a damn about me," Billy smirked.

"I give a damn about you! Are we back to this again?" Steve asked in disappointment. If Billy still thought that after all these weeks, he wasn't doing a very good job at being friends. "You told me the morning after everything that you weren't a person to be friends with and people always gave up on you. But I'm still here, aren't I? I showed up and I'm going to keep showing up."

"Probably because I gave you brain damage," Billy snorted.

"Well, me and my screwed up brain are still here."

"And I acknowledge that you're a good guy for it, but I'm still stuck in that house with my shitty dad and there isn't anything you can do to fix that. Hanging out with you is a nice distraction, but at the end of the day, it's just that. It's a temporary reprieve," Billy said firmly. Steve couldn't argue with him about that. The thought of sending Billy and Max back to the lion's den every night sometimes made him toss and turn in bed until dawn. But there wasn't really anything else he could do. As far as he knew, Neil hadn't gotten violent with them since they started hanging out, but sometimes the words hurt more than the fists. It was easier to get things done when there were bruises, but the damage right now was on the inside.

"I'm sorry," Steve whispered.

"It's fine. You and I both know that not everyone gets to be happy. The sooner you accept it, the easier it gets to give up hope."

The mood was officially ruined after their conversation, so they stood together in silence for a few more hours, just watching the rippling water of the lake. Steve should've known that a few weekends of basketball and movies wouldn't change anything, but it still hurt to hear out loud. He wasn't going to stop spending time with Billy, even if he was nothing more than a distraction, but it did put a bit of a damper on it all.

Steve drove Billy home once it was too dark and cold to stay outside any longer. And Billy wanted to get back before Max and her mom returned, just in case. Steve ached to ask Billy to stay with him and that they could bring Max along too, but they had school the next day and they couldn't. Asking for more would end up getting them less. He would just have to work on building back what they lost tomorrow.

"I'll see you at school in the morning?" Steve asked, wringing his hands around the steering wheel of his car. Billy smirked, putting on a front like everything was normal between them. But Steve could see the sadness Billy was trying to hide. The sadness that never truly left, if you knew where to look for it, but lessened sometimes when they were having a good time. He wasn't sure he'd ever see it gone completely.

"Sure, Harrington," Billy agreed, tipping his head in goodbye as he climbed out of the car and walked back up to his front door. Steve watched him disappear into his house and swore under his breath, wishing he could do something. Telling Hopper about what was going on always felt out of the question, but right now he wanted nothing more than to be able to do that. He wasn't sure if it would accomplish anything, but having an adult ally sounded nice. He would sleep on it, then make a decision.

Sleeping on it was easier said than done though. Steve groaned as he turned and looked at his clock, finding that it was almost midnight. He'd been in bed for close to two hours, but hadn't been able to get a moment of rest. Something felt different tonight and he couldn't turn his mind off. He tried covering his head with a pillow, reading a boring book, and even drinking warm milk, but nothing was working. Steve was staring at the ceiling, contemplating taking a drive somewhere to help clear his head, when Dustin's radio suddenly crackled to life. He'd been careful about keeping the batteries fresh and he'd never been more grateful than he was now.

"Steve, are you there?" Max's hesitant voice whispered from the speaker. Steve moved faster than he could ever remember, scrambling over to his desk to get to the radio.

"Max? Are you okay?" Steve asked frantically. He pressed the device to his ear, holding his breath the few moments it took for her to respond. Steve was out the door before Max could even finish speaking.

"Code red."