No One Said It Would Be Easy

Chapter 7 – As You Throw Your Dinner Out The Kitchen Door

Disclaimers: in chapters one and five

Spoilers: anything through chapter four

A/N: Thank you everyone for your wonderful reviews you don't know how much they mean to me!! School is taking up more of my time now so sorry for the distance in updates I will try to make them longer now.

Saturday

Las Vegas

Nick was sitting with his arms on the arms of the chair his head on the back rest, Sara sat across from him on the couch trying to figure out what he was thinking. Nick sighed and shifted finally looking at Sara.

"So, is that why you left?"

"Partly," she sighed. "Matthew was a drunken one night stand and a twin."

"A twin? You have two children?"

"No, he was a twin. I miscarried his twin. Grissom took me to the hospital because I started bleeding at the lab. I found out I miscarried a baby. Two months later I found out I was still pregnant with Matthew. I left for San Francisco the next day."

"So you did leave because you were pregnant."

"Yes, I said that was part of the reason." Sara could tell that Nick's anger had dissipated. "There was more to it then just being pregnant though."

"What else was there Sara?"

"It's late Nick, I don't know if I want to get into it again."

"So you aren't going to tell me? You are just going to leave again." It wasn't a question and Sara knew it.

"I hope not." At her response he looked up at her sharply. "I miss you Nick."

"What?"

"I miss you, everyone else too, we had a really good friendship and I miss that. I miss you. I have done a lot in San Francisco. Made the lab one of the top ten in the country."

"But you miss Las Vegas?"

"Not really the city, but the people. My life was here and I just left. I want to come back and I know that everything won't be the same, but I want our friendship back."

"I don't know if I can do that Sara. You hurt me. A lot."

"You hurt me too," she muttered, but Nick heard her.

"Care to explain how I hurt you?" She looked at him in shock she didn't realize she said it aloud.

"I said Matt was a one night stand right?" at his nod she continued. "Well he was a drunken one night stand I was drinking my sorrows away. You see, my best friend had met someone," she stared at her hands "And it made me realize I was in love with him." There was a long drawn out pause and when Sara finally looked at Nick his eyes were wide and his jaw slightly agape.

"What?"

"I loved you Nick. And when you told me that you were seeing someone it killed me. I got drunk and slept with someone I didn't know. When I found out I was still pregnant you told me that you thought your girlfriend at the time was 'the one'. It hurt so badly I couldn't take it, so I left."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What come up to you and say hey Nick I found out that even though I miscarried I'm still pregnant with another man's child?"

"Yes! I would have helped!" Sara scoffed at him. "Sara I would have done anything in my power to keep you in Las Vegas. I was shattered when you left. I was shattered for a year after you left. You...you told Grissom but you didn't tell me. Do you know how hard that stung? I was your best friend."

"I was in love with you how was I supposed to tell you that? Especially when you said you that girl was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. My world ended Nick. Then to find out that I was going to be a single parent, do you know how hard it was for me?"

"No, but you should have come to me. I wish you would have come to me."

"What if I do now," Sara said suddenly.

"What?"

"The reason why I'm here is because I want to get my old life back. Nick I never stopped loving you. You may not feel the same way, but I needed to tell you because I can't stand not knowing how you feel."

"So you are coming to me now, almost four years later, and wondering how I feel."

"Yes."

"Sara, I don't know. I mean it's wonderful seeing you and I know how I felt before, but I don't know if I can start all over again if you are just going to leave."

"Wait, you felt something for me before?"

"Yes! I thought I made that clear. You were everything to me!"

"Then why were you with that other woman?"

"Because I didn't know how you felt!"

"Well you could have told me too you know."

"I didn't want to lose your friendship, but then I did anyway. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that you do love me and that you want to start something."

"The main thing that I want back is our friendship. That is the most important thing to me. If something more happens I will be thrilled, but right now I just want the chance to be your best friend again." Nick looked at her unbelieving, thinking about what would happen if she left again. Sara knew what was going through his mind so she walked over and placed a hand on his knee.

"Nick I can't really take off anymore. I have Matthew to think about. He loves being able to spend time with Gil and my parents are close. I won't be dashing across the continent anytime soon." He nodded not completely reassured.

"Sara, I missed you a lot. It is wonderful to have you back and yes we can try to work our friendship out. I want that as much as you do."