A/N: It's currently 12:34 in the morning, and I just realized that in HBP Snape said that the Death Eaters thought that Harry could have been a new Dark Lord to Rally around, so I figure, fuck it, why not. I know, we have "DID you see that? I know I DID" in progress and we haven't it for a while, but I'm not writing that, fuck you, fuck that, more content. Although we are actually planning out another story to make, so there's something. We actually are starting a plan for a story, wow, imagine that. Meaning that this story however, will be just as will-nilly as the other, with no planning going into it whatsoever. So updates, will be sporadic and insane. However I don't know. You peeps know we have no care for schedule. So here's my half-though harebrained idea of a shit show that I am not editing or revising. This is the rough, first, and final draft of chapter one.

I'm probs gonna have this rated M because I don't give two shits about language. Just know, there will be no smut. I am ace, and I do not want anything like that here. If you came here for a Dark Lord Harry smut story, out of luck, go fuck yourself, and damn you to hell and back.

Anyway, on to the story I guess. (BTW, Harry never met Draco in Madam Malkins, but did meet him on the train. So while he doesn't like Draco, he had no reason to bring up the houses to Hagrid, and has no bais against Slytherin)

—

"Potter Harry" Minerva McGonnagal, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts said, and the entire hall held their breath.

Except for the first year Muggleborn, who had no fucking clue who this kid was.

Everyone wanted this kid. The Gryffindors because he's the boy who lived. Defeater of Voldemort and hero of the Wizarding World. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff for Similar reasons.

Slytherin however, especially the older Slytherins. They thought Harry was the next Dark Lord. If he were to be sorted into Slytherin, even if he wasn't a Dark wizard yet, he was only 11, and could easily be bred into it, and be their Dark Lord.

After a record breaking 5 minutes, 32 seconds, most of which was Harry saying he didn't want to be in the same out as Draco, and the hat saying he didn't actually have to spend time with Draco or anything, the hat called out "SLYTHERIN!" after it realized it didn't needed to listen to this snotty nosed bitch.

The Slytherin Table burst into cheers and applause, and the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs politely clapped, and some from Darker families were starting to think like the Slytherins.

The Gryffindors, were just stunned into silence.

—

Draco was furious. How dare Potter come into his house and steal his glory. He was supposed to rule Slytherin.

On the way to the common room, Draco had enough. "Potter is a Half-Blood! And friends with a blood traitor! He was buddy buddy with a Weasley blood traitor!"

"If you wouldn't care to forget Malfoy." A voice drawled from behind him. He turned around, and Snape, his godfather, was standing behind him.

"I am a half-blood, and when I came to hogwarts, my best friend was a Muggleborn, who was Potters Mother. Potter is muggle raised, he has no clue about anything here or the social circles. Just like I once did, and many other students before us. Have you forgotten that Merlin, one of the first Slytherins, was a Half-Blood who lived among Muggles?"

Alot of Slytherins were now looking at Draco, and watching his face turn redder and redder, until it looked like Weasley hair.

"I'm sorry… sir."

"And…"

"I'm sorry, Potter."

"Good. Now off you all go, into the common room."

Snape went to walk off, and bumped into Harry, who was looking at Snape with wide adoring eyes.

"Professor… were you really friends with my mum?"

"Yes. I was. Another time though. Off the the common room."

Harry looked like he wanted to stay, but rushed off into the common room before the door closed.

—

It took less than a week before just about every Slytherin and every Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff from darker families, especially those in Harry's year, were told in no uncertain terms to befriend Harry. Owls from their parents almost all contained the same message.

"Befriend Harry Potter or else."

Older (and smarter) Slytherins took this chance to offer to tutor Harry.

The other not so smart Slytherins would follow Harry in the halls, and any time anybody tried to pull anything on him, they would appear and shield Harry, and shoot off spells against the attackers/pranksters.

Severus Snape was also in the same position. Many of his former colleagues were going to treat Potter like the second coming of Voldemort, or a new Dark Lord.

Already, they were almost never using the term Mudblood as to not offend Harry or his late Mother.

Severus was trying to avoid Harry entirely, but it seemed like he was the only one Harry wanted to talk to.

Severus did tell Harry about his Mother from her Childhood, and didn't seem to mind him not talking about James, with Snape putting it away as they didn't get along.

Harry knew nearly right away it was probably something alot stronger than "didn't get along", but said nothing.

Harry was top of the class from being tutored from the older students. This made two people very upset.

The first was Draco Malfoy. Harry Potter had waltzed into Hogwarts, and taken all of Dracos glory. He was supposed to be the Prince of Skytherin. Not this Half-blooded upstart.

The other, was Lord Voldemort. He could see that the children of all his Death Eaters were practically worshipping Potter. Potter was becoming powerful. The child of the prophecy was becoming too powerful. He needed to do something.

Quirrel decided to do that something, by bringing a troll in on Halloween. The day that the Slytherins told Harry his parents died that day, 10 years ago.

Harry was heartbroken. He didn't want to go to the feast, and the other Slytherins accepted this, and two Slytherins, Adrian Pucey and Lucian Bole followed him in the hallways to make sure no one tried to cross him on this day.

Harry was thankful of course, but kept saying they could go back to the feast if they wanted to. They said they weren't hungry though, and wanted to help Harry with the grief.

Of course, they were then attacked by a troll.

Adrian conjured a shield around himself and Harry while Lucian took on the troll.

Lucian was a beater for the Slytherin team, and of course had a beaters bat on him.

Nowhere close to the size of the trolls club, but it could pack a punch. A strong hit to the leg and the troll fell. Using a cutting curse on it's other leg, Lucian was expecting it to come off, but the cutting curse reflected back at him, heading right for his face.

If it wasn't for a shield that blocked it.

"That's mate." He said to Harry, seeing Harry's wand pointed at him.

Lucian went back at the troll with the beaters bat, and took an extreme amount of glee getting to beat down the troll in the middle of the hallway.

Eventually, Harry had enough, and sent a piercing hex right at the trolls eye.

The troll slumped down, dead, broken and battered.

A minute and a half later, the teachers came across Adrian healing Lucian of the splinters that came off the beaters bat, while Harry was collecting said Splinters so they could repair the bat.

"100 points to Slytherin for killing a full grown mountain troll." Dumbledore said.

He was of course, upset when Harry was sorted into Slytherin, and then saw how good it was.

Voldemort was loosing supporters and future supporters, and Harry was gaining an amazing education in magic. Sure, they were dark spells, but whatever. It would defeat Voldemort.

Besides, who better to teach it than the Slytherins, and under the watchful eye of Severus.

—

A/N: It is now 1:56 in the morning, and I've finished this for now. I was originally going to finish year one in this chapter, but I was told that would be too long. Also that "The amount of swears you put in this is absolutely unnecessary", so I had to fix that. Whatever, I don't fucking care. The authors notes will have as much swears as I fucking want. Maybe. I don't know. Whatever. *sigh*

Anyway you greedy fucking gremlins, there's your chapter, now go away. Unless your reading this when it has more chapters, then please. Click the next chapter button.

Anyway yeah. Thanks for reading this first chapter when I plan to put nothing useful at all in the description, and I hope you enjoy my demented twist on Dark Lord Potter.

Oh and also, I have this really fucked up Harry Potter fanfic that I have been told under no circumstances am I to publish unless I convert everything over to a nice light hearted crackfic that I'll publish. Would y'all like the dark fucked up "I definitely need therapy" story?

Thanks for putting up with the long Authors Notes, I swear I won't do it again. Maybe. Fuck you.