Prologue

Kendall stared into the mirror but she didn't see her curly hair and lovely heart shaped face. Only the spunky brunette snuggled contently in the arms of the man who had everything. She despised them together. Every time the smiled at each other whispering secrets with their eyes and then laughing. Always laughing. Acting as if she didn't exist. She could feel the sharp dagger piecing her heart and the cold hard fingers grasping the handle while occasionally brushing against her skin as they twisted the blade in deeper. Pushing it deeper with every unfortunate meeting. She wanted to wish the pain back.

Her eyes seemed to dull at the new vision in swimming around in her head. Greenlee swinging back and forth as she pleaded for her to come down. Getting as close as she could without endangering herself she reached out as far as she could then just a bit further. At first she was afraid that if anything happened everyone would blame her. Then something, a foreign feeling, crept inside of her so terrifying and she knew she desperately had to save this girl. Keeping back the vomit itching its way at the back of her throat she moved on impulse.

She was barley able to grab a small piece of the brunette's frilly clothing but the quick move wasn't as swift as she'd planned. To her horror Greenlee fell. Falling off the Fusion building, their project would be forever stained with her blood. Chills ran up and down Kendall's spine as fresh tears marred her perfect face. She was trapped in this dark place, the same one that called to her when Miranda had died. She never thought anything could ever pull her as far under again.

"Kendall, open the door,"

Ethan's voice startled her. He repeated his plea in a calm voice as if approaching a frightened child. But there was no denying that was the only thing Kendall was. A little child with on simple dream but even when that was achieved it was shredded and fed to her; scraps for the pathetic mutt.

Kendall hesitated and then opened the door. His short wavy hair and soft eyes looked so warm and sincere. They pulled her to him, it was almost beyond her control; but in a way she wanted it. His words brought her back. She remembered the relief that flooded over her when she opened her eyes to find the brunette beside her still breathing. And she got up and drifted over to Ryan like the beautiful green butterfly she had been talking about in her deranged state of mind.

Ethan pulled her into his arms stroking her hair while whispering soothing words to her. But his words fell on death ears. Kendall was thinking about Greenlee again. Wondering if she was alone and scared, or worse if she had that twisted smile joyously ready to bring her life to a permanent end. Only one thought slipped though the crevices of her mind settling in until the break of dawn for the next day.

Why was she the one to always see Greenlee so far gone and then risk everything to save her?

Lena Kundera lie motionless in bed curled into fetal position. Tears poured freely from her eyes unknown to her. The days crawled by empty and wet like the liquor bottles carelessly scattered across her room. No one had cared to call her. Her heart heaved a heavy sob as she remembered reading the paper's headline by chance. Bianca Montgomery was in a comma from having fallen off a balcony.

She should have been there. Lena stared at the ring on her finger, even after the break up she couldn't bring herself to take it off. It seemed unreal, after all they'd been though, the hell Michael put them through; for it all to be over by one single phone conversation. Forever. She had promised Bianca forever.

It was supposed to be a spectacular event with flowers and champagne by scented candles when she would pop the question. Instead they were in the hospital. Bianca desperately needed something to hold onto and Lena was damn well determined she would provide that for her. Bianca covered her hand and through all her pain and suffering all the love she had shone in her eyes. If she had ever had any doubts she knew then and there they were meant to be together.

Despite the lack of glamour she had wished to give to Bianca on that special day it one of the greatest days of her life. Just behind the day they professed their love to each other and Bianca had stopped her from leaving the airport. How had they gotten off track?

Normally Lena would have berated herself for asking a question she knew the answer all to well to but things were different. It disgusted her how she could lie there and think only of herself while Bianca was in a hospital fighting for her life. Fighting alone.

For the first time since the news had rendered her paralyzed Lena knew what she had to do. It was time to return to the love of her life and go back to Pine Valley. Finally put things back into place. Rising from her bed Lena scoured the floor for her cell phone. Finding the small device in a pair of dirty jeans she reached for the talk button and then convulsed into sobs.

She was determined to be with Bianca and now it mattered the most. Lena would stand up to the devil himself or even the likes of Erica Kane. But how could she leave her mother in her sever condition? The two most important women in her life were fighting for their lives and needed her. She was torn not knowing whose side to go to.

Bianca was her soul mate, she would die physically and spiritually with out her. The young woman wise beyond her years who had taught her to love when she thought she was dead inside. And then there was her mother who had brought her into this world and nourished her as best as she could while growing up.

Her entire life had been a sick twisted joke and now she had to choose. If either one died she knew her life would never be the same.

Chapter One

Don't Wake Me From My Dreams

Sunlight snuck in under the curtains and annoyingly taunted Kendall until she was brought to awareness. Inside she was filled with warmth but all she had to show was a pale frown gracing her lips. Her dreams had been so peaceful she wanted nothing more than to close her eyes and dream the same dream again. Savor every moment, for Kendall this feeling came to her more and more each passing day. It was enough to give her a slight headache.

She had dreamt that Greenlee stood at her door watching her. She wore that same fiery-eyed smug look as Kendall made her way to the brunette so as to see what she wanted. Greenlee reached out with her right hand causing Kendall to flinch but Greenlee didn't let this phase her. Her smile never faltered, there was something swirling about in Greenlee's irises. Something not quite familiar but she knew she had seen it before not just in a dream. Greenlee pulled Kendall into a hug as if to say 'you poor girl.'

Normally Kendall fought everything, especially in her dreams where all her secrets were out in the open for all to see, but she closed her eyes surrendering herself under Greenlee's care. Had the situation not have been so serious it would have been slightly amusing, how she saved Greenlee time and time again but after each event Kendall felt as though Greenlee had been the rescuer.

Her eyes were fixed on Greenlee's moving lips but she didn't hear the words. Somehow she managed to understand what was said to her, 'Bianca woke up.'

But Kendall couldn't go back to the dream. Her eyes opened to see unruly black hair belonging to the man she had once again freely offered a night of passion to. No matter how much Ethan cared for her it was only lust Kendall could put forward, never love. Her thoughts threatened to pull her under as Kendall cried silently in a disturbing manner.

Ethan tried to calm the girl but she was more deranged than usual, almost as if his presence angered her. Every time he reached out to comfort her she slapped his hand away screaming quietly. Again he was in a foreign place trying his hardest to be accepted only to be denied. Frustrated he climbed out of bed, dressed, and left leaving Kendall alone to sort out her own matters.

Kendall curled up to a pillow, she didn't want to be alone but she couldn't deal with Ethan at the moment. She felt hungry but not exactly for food. Something inside of her was hungry, starving for the longest time. The only way she had learned to fill it was with sex but something inside her told her that wasn't what she longed for so desperately.

The darkness cloaked everything like midnight fog in a werewolf movie, for Bianca however this was more real and horrifying than any nightmare or scary movie. Her skin crawled, as she was too frightened to think clearly.

His hand firmly squeezed her neck immobilizing her. It was like he had already violated her system trapping her in a metal cage with a corroded lock. Words spewed out of his cruel mouth as she watched his disgusting tongue creeping out to wet his lips.

Hot tears poured from her eyes and she screamed out but no body could hear her.

"Bianca wake up, you're a fighter,"

Bianca instantly recognized the sweet voice thick with a seductive Polish accent, Lena. She didn't understand why her words had been tainted with such sorrow. Lena was probably just concerned about the recent nightmares they had both thought had perished. Despite this she could feel the warmth radiating from the sophisticated Polish woman's hands cupped around hers. It gave her the courage to open her eyes and see that love with her own eyes. Bianca didn't understand why she felt so incredibly tired but Lena just smiled at her whispering, "everything is going to be all right."

Although she had not run into the notorious Erica Kane Lena was met with glares upon walking down the halls of Pine Valley's hospital. Reggie was so consumed in his own grief, but managed to offer a grim smile. If it weren't for his help she wouldn't have been able to sneak into Bianca's room.

Needles pierced Bianca's skin feeding her through tubes. Again she had failed her beloved Bianca, she wasn't able to protect her from Michael or to save her baby. And now this. The room was shrouded in silence and Bianca lay there motionlessly. It seemed damn near impossible to restrain the negative thoughts.

Lena pulled up a chair and covered Bianca's frail hand with her own wishing she could some how give her strength. "Bianca wake up, you're a fighter." The words fell from her lips before she could stop them but once they were in the air she felt relieved to some extent.

Lena gazed deep into her eyes. Nothing had been lost since when they first fell in love, only gains. It was like the magical nights when the candles were down to their last flickering lights. Twisted between the sheets two lovers bodies kissed with sweat from hours upon hours of lovemaking. Lena would wrap one arm around Bianca's back keeping her close and with her free hand stroked the soft long locks of her lover's hair. Spent they occasionally kissed as their bodies demanded rest but in their hearts and through their eyes they continued to make love.

"I love you," Lena whispered. The words still managed to take her breath away as she repeated the words that could hardly begin to express her love for this woman.

Lena leaned in closer and pressed her lips against Bianca's hands. "I love you," their love was the only force strong enough to prevent her from breaking down and she wanted Bianca to share that. To hold onto as she continued to fight. Talking to Bianca felt good and she could only hope the sleeping girl was listening. Carefully selecting each word she said Lena resumed her one sided conversation as if Bianca had asked of a good childhood memory.

Bianca smiled as she toyed with a defiant lock of Lena's hair that refused to say tucked behind her lover's ear. "Bianca are you listening?" Lena asked a bit irritated. Bianca stared at Lena's pouting face, it was a rare sight to see but absolutely adorable. A silly smile spread across her lips and then she giggled against her will. Lena's agitation dissolved as she too smiled as she told Bianca how addicting her smile was.

Bianca was about to make a sly remark when something caught her attention. This caused her to turn her eyes away from Lena; there was only one thing that could make her turn away from the love of her life. Tucked carefully in Kendall's arms like a prized jewel was Bess. Babe's words flowed through her ears as she corrected herself 'my Miranda.'

"There's someone special here to see you," Kendall cooed.

Bianca's lips trembled, "Miranda," she cried out.

With the most care and caution Kendall placed Miranda back into her mother's arms. All her pain and suffering evaporated into thin air when Bianca finally held her child in her arms again. Her arms had ached for so long for her child. Dreams of her child being carried off into the river might never stop tormenting but now she had Miranda.

She would never suffer another night alone clinging frantically to the shirt she wore on that eventful day as she could hear Miranda's voice echoing in her mind. As if her child were crying from the safety of her crib at the corner of her room, or in the nursery. Perhaps down the hall in a small cradle close to the kitchen for convenient midnight feedings. Regardless of how many times she had got up to search for Miranda she could never find her child which only devastated her further.

Bianca held onto her child not willing to hand her over to anyone. She studied her daughters face memorizing every little feature. Her lips red as if painted by the finest artist and her eyes wide absorbing everything she saw. She was absolutely gorgeous and Bianca was almost certain her opinion wasn't just due to the fact that mothers were naturally biased in favor of their children's attributes.

In all her joy she could feel something was not quite right with the woman beside her. "Lena?" Bianca called out uncertainly. Why would she be suddenly so troubled when everything was finally so right? But when she twisted her head in Lena's direction she was gone.

Lena listened to the machine translating Bianca's heart rate into computer monologue as she stared at Bianca's sleeping form. She had been there for so long she wasn't sure if she was really awake or simply dreaming about watching over Bianca.

So many people had come to see Bianca. Out of all the people who came in for just a quick check up or to spend hours beside Bianca, Erica never made an appearance. It disturbed her greatly to wonder what could be so important that Erica couldn't manage to grant her child a single visit each day. Kendall was as faithful to her dear sister as ever. During their time together watching over Bianca they managed to find some common ground. Lena knew Bianca would be beyond thrilled if she could ever do the same with Erica.

"Miranda"

Lena jolted in her chair unsure if Bianca had really called out for her dead child. What if Bianca thought her child was still alive only to wake up to this nightmare. Lena's heart ached as she covered her lips with her hands while running out of the room. She would never forgive herself if she cried in front of Bianca.