Disclaimer: There is still hope…
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We got out of the bus, and saw the massive, white building loom over us. I felt Tai recoil suddenly, and I realised that this is the very same hospital that I was in when I was sick. We walked inside, and I definitely felt Tai withdraw. I held his hand as a sign of comforting and gratitude. Matt took us to the elevator and up to the fourth floor. We walked along three corridors before we reached the room. Matt went in first. I followed. I recoiled at the sight of T.K. He was lying there, white as his sheets, connected to masses of wires to many machines. His mother was at his side, almost as white as he was, grasping his hand. I felt a rush of sympathy towards her. She looked up at us, tears glistening in her eyes, already tear-streaks down her cheeks. Matt quickly walked towards her, and the minute he got near, she flung her arms around him, and cried on him. I watched them there; the deep sorrow felt between them, it was all too much. My legs gave way, and I broke down totally. Tai caught me, and I cried on him. He picked me up, and carried me out of the doorway. He put me down again on the floor and knelt next to me, and hugged me. I felt shivers running through him as my head rested on his chest. He was going through an emotional battle as well.
"It's all my f-fault…" I sobbed into his t-shirt. He stroked my hair.
"No, it's not… it's ok Kari…" he replied.
"It is my f-f-fault!" I sobbed back, " I kn-knew he was sick, I just d-d-didn't help!"
"You didn't know, it's ok…" he soothed. His voice was comforting, but the constant shivers were no relief, me knowing that he was going through so much. I turned back to T.K., looking at him lying there, so helpless, so vulnerable, so sick… I couldn't take it anymore. I jumped up, startling Tai, and ran out of the room, hurtling down the corridor, Tai in hot pursuit. I heard him calling my name, but I ignored him. I was blinded by tears, and didn't see the trolley that I was rapidly approaching, and I collided head-on with it and crashed against the wall. Pain flooded my head as I saw a blurred outline of Tai kneel down beside me, before I passed out.
"Will she be ok?"
"I hope so. Man, that was one hard hit against the wall though. She's been out for a while."
"Yeh, well. Poor thing."
"Yeh. She cares so much for T.K. She's beating herself up pretty badly about it though. Nothing I say comforts her."
"Well, think about it. When she was sick, did anything anyone said comfort you or your parents?"
"Well, no. I guess you have a point. How is T.K. anyway?"
There was a pause. " Nothing's changed…"
All this was slowly passing through my brain. My head was pounding severely. I groan.
"Oh! She's awake!" I hear Tai exclaim. I open my eyes. Blurry forms of two people slowly come into focus, and I soon see Tai and Matt looking at me intently. They both looked relieved.
"Good morning!" Tai says brightly.
"What-where am I?" I ask thickly. I try to move my head, but it sears with pain.
"Your still in the hospital, in the waiting room, hogging four chairs!" Tai says sarcastically.
"I'm sorry, I'll move." I reply, and try to get up. But Tai holds me down.
"You're not going anywhere." He says firmly.
"I agree," says a lot gloomier voice that I recognise as Matt's. Tears well up in my eyes.
"I'm so s-s-sorry Matt!" I begin to sob, "I didn't m-mean to-"
"You didn't do anything wrong Kari," Matt finished, "everyone is to blame. I could've been more wary about it too." He hung his head.
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
"How's your head?" Tai asks, interrupting the sad, heavy silence. I think, but that hurts. I try to shake my head, because I seem to have lost my voice, but that instantly causes pain, so I stop. But Tai gets the message.
"Ok, here's what we're gonna do," Tai said, looking into my eyes, "You rest for a little while, so you'll be up to travelling. Matt," Tai turns to Matt, "you go back and be with your family." Matt nods. Tai turns to me once more, "and I'll go call mum and tell her that we will be a little late." Matt stands up.
"Kari," Matt said gently, turning to me, "just don't beat yourself up about it, ok? He'll be fine." I don't reply. Tai lifts my head tenderly from his lap, and Matt lays a cushion under my head, and Tai lowers it gently down. Drowsiness begins to take over me.
"I'll go call mum," Tai says, and they both depart, leaving me there, to my confused thoughts, falling into the everlasting darkness of my sorrow.
Next chapter? Um… I'll find it…
