Title: the Perfect Snack
Rating: PG-13 (Suggestive Themes)
Summary: A little ficlet with Buffy on Patrol, post-Chosen (post-Chosen is defined as an AU with Spike alive and much Spuffy to go 'round)
Genre: Humor
Pairings: Buffy/Spike
Time Frame: Post-Chosen
Status: Standalone
Disclaimer: So Joss... can I use your characters? No way in hell! Heh... heh... slides fanfic under desk
Author's Note: Random cute idea bugged me. Viola!

She would be the perfect snack. She was rather small - there couldn't be that much blood in her. Moreover, she seemed a bit strong and it was always fun to have them struggle. Obviously, she fit her hair color, blonde. Who else would stroll around a cemetery late at night? Yes, the vampire decided, she would be the perfect snack.

Buffy knew the vampire was there. Slayer senses and all. It was more fun this way, luring them out and then staking them.. however, she was getting impatient. It was high time to get with the staking and head back home to catch up with Spike. He'd probably be back from the night out with the guys by now.

He skulked through the bushes, whisked around the back of a crypt, just enjoying watching his prey. He was the darkness that prevailed over light, he was the ultimate evil, he was...

It's not that she didn't want the boys to not have fun. After loosing Anya, Xander needed some guy time, some non-girl friends he could lean on. He and Spike, no matter how much they bickered, were there for each other, whether they'd admit it or not. And Giles was just so... British. He needed time to kick back, relax, and not use so many weird words. Well, he'd use them, but Spike would actually understand them.

The smell of the girl was undoubtedly alluring. It was all fire, passion, light... and a tint of darkness. Something that was a warped dark, similar to him but different somehow. She smelled of a vampire, but not a kind he'd ever encountered in his years in the world of evil. He drew closer and sniffed, trying to identify it.

And then he'd be all hers for the rest of the night. It'd be wonderful, passionate... just as long as her sacred duty was out of the way. If only that damn vampire would come out and fight....

He attacked.

She countered, dodged and traded blows. The fight was increasing in pace, she was taking a few hits. She rolled away and pulled out her stake. The time to end the fight was now. She plunged it into the vampire's heart... only to have it push into itself, like a fake knife sliding into the sheath.

The vampire stared down at his chest in shock. He was that close to be dead, that was incomprehensible, he was the most powerful vampire to walk the face of the Earth... and said as much.

"Stupid fledglings with their delusions of grandeur..." she grumbled, pulling her fake stake away. She really shouldn't take the kinky toys she plays with Spike with in the bedroom (or bathroom... kitchen, living room, or the ladies bathroom of the Wal-Mart...) with her on patrol.