My Heart Doth Wander
Chapter 2 : The Red
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows,
So this I do for you.
Before I try to fight the truth
My final time.
"Understanding" – Evanescence
The glow...
Snively closed his eyes. He could still see the glow, even then.
Red, a horrific red. Not because it was the color of blood, or denoted emergencies. It was the red of his Uncle's eyes.
Casssar was kissing him...beautiful sensual kisses all along the curve of his slender neck. He tilted his head back, eyes half-closed and hazy, his hands ruffling the fur as he stroked her sides. She had a little more meat on her than he did; he couldn't feel her ribs as readily as she could feel his, poking out through the fabric of his uniform. He was often worried his body repulsed her, but Cass insisted she enjoyed the feel of his bones.
"You feel...real..." She said, one time, trying to explain. "You have a structure..."
"Maybe so...but nobody wants to see the foundation of a house when they live in it. They want to see walls. Pretty decorated walls."
"I like the base form of things," she said somberly, and traced her finger along the prominent ridge of his collarbone.
Now she was breathing against his neck, so moist and warm. Her hand was stroking his thigh and he felt frantic butterflies in his stomach. "You are beautiful, Black Flower," she hissed.
"Don't be ridiculous..." he sighed, with a bit of a stammer in his voice. Her hands were making it awfully difficult to think straight. "You're the b-b-beautiful one..."
She laughed, a low purring sound. That only elevated his stupor; Gods, the woman melted him like ice cream under the hot sun. This sort of brainlessness, this lack of clarity, was usually a thing for him to scoff at; right now, though, he was enjoying it thoroughly.
She was a tease, so slow and sly in her movements, her fingers crawling spider-like up his slender thighs, and onto his waist, playfully avoiding any sensitive areas in between, even though his baited breath and eyes, half-lidded and sultry, were insisting she explore them...
But he happened to move his head, and see across the room, where the enormous computer console stretched out. The place where he had spent so many waking hours. It was darkened, except for some glowing lights.
He intook a breath.
Two lights, side by side.
Glowing red.
Red.
EYES.
HIS EYES, STARING, STARING, WAITING.
Snively jerked upright. His breath was torn and a sudden hard shudder racked his body.
"Hmmm?" Question flashed in Casssar's olive green eyes.
He tried to shrug the chill off.
"Nothing. Ah, just a cramp in my leg."
"In your leg..." she purred throatily. "Or somewhere else?"
The lights seemed to glow brighter. He turned his head, staring at Casssar's lips, which were smiling, felt his head swim as she attempted to massage the imaginary cramp that was 'somewhere else'.
He thought suddenly, with a jolting sick lurch of his stomach, of the maggots crawling on Julian in his dream. Casssar's fingers, they wiggled into the top of his pants like black snakes, or...or...
The red lights blurred, they gained twins in his eyes as he stared at them so intently they doubled. He heard whispering...and felt sweat break...was that Casssar's voice? Or HIS...?
"Beautiful..."
"...to see you die... to see you ROT, Snively..."
"...black..."
"...to see you in the ground, decaying in the darkness, with just my hands on your neck for company, with just the stench of MY blood in your SOUL, Snively!"
"...flower."
"Uhnnn....No!" A ragged childish whimper squeezed past his lips and he wrapped arms around Casssar; she had grown to be not only his love, but his shield as well, his protector. She could beat back Julian, couldn't she?
But he's DEAD. He's DEAD, damn you!
Casssar mistook his whimper for pleasure; a chuckle shook her body and she continued her massaging. He could barely think, breathe, talk, with the two forces pulling at him; terror and ecstasy... Where they that close? Those two emotions – both pushed a person to an edge, a vast cliff with hidden things at the bottom, deep water. He wanted to dive into one. And the other...he wanted to run...and he wiggled, trying to get away from Casssar. So he could run.
Run from those glowing red eyes...and those hands reaching...
"God...NO!"
Now Casssar understood. That something was amiss. "What's wrong?"
She turned to eye the room behind her, seeing nothing, nothing but glowing lights and darkness. She focused on the lights.
Yellow, blue and...red. RED. She turned back abruptly, seizing him by the shoulders. "He's DEAD."
Snively was struck – backhanding with killing force – by recollection. Cu Chulainne. It had brought back Sally...when he'd killed HER. It had brought back himself...from the DEAD. He tasted bile in his throat, his eyes shining with terror-born tears as he stared at Casssar. "IS he?" It came out as a squeak. "IS HE?!"
"Yes." Casssar's eyes saw the carnage just as Snively's did; the Overlord of Robotropolis on his back where he'd fallen, torn, stabbed, laid open, eyes glazed. Limp. Lifeless. Life-LESS.
Dead as dead can be.
"No man could live through that."
Snively rested his head on her shoulder, embracing her again. The feel of her heart calmed him. "He isn't...wasn't...a man. He was a demon."
"Then he has returned to his hell." Her breath was warm on the top of his head. She traced the curves of his ear with her fingertip. "He is GONE, Black Flower."
"Yes...I..." Snively's eyes strayed again to the console in the dark, its two red lights still glowing.
Just lights, they were just lights.
"...I believe you."
But...they still looked like eyes.
The light floated to Sally's fingertips. It spoke to her with a rich voice, both gentle and booming. This was Cu Chulainne, the purifier of the Source, and the strange entity had made itself a home in the cavern that housed the Acorn Source Pool. Sally and It had become friends...as much as one could be friends with an entity.
-Hello, Sally.-
"Hello, Cu."
Sally sighed, and sank onto one of the large boulders by the pool side. "I'm tired of this, Cu."
-Of what, Sally?-
"Of keeping this a secret...keeping YOU a secret. It makes everything so hard to explain...when I have to cover up the truth. Sonic doesn't even trust me anymore...Sonic!"
-He has deep affection for you. He will not throw that aside easily.-
Sally was quiet, dipping the toe of her boot into the pool. The thick liquid did not cling to her foot. She gave a half-hearted kick, then sighed again. "Cu...how do you know? You've never...well...touched Sonic."
-I see him through you.-
"Oh." Her muzzle crinkled. "Then you only see my hope for him. My feelings for him."
-He rubs off on you. I do not just read your thoughts...I read the essence he has left.-
This thought put Sally into a silent state as she contemplated. She knew, deep down, that for Sonic to abandon her, it would require an act on her part that was so atrocious, so horrible, that even she would not be able to cope, to continue living.
Killing Robotnik with her bare hands, plunging the knife into his chest? It was horrific.
But he was their mortal enemy. It was still murder...but...if anyone deserved murder...it was Robotnik. Sonic would not leave her for that.
She supposed Cu was right. It put her more at ease. "But I still wish I didn't have to deceive him," She mummered.
The light glowed softly. It understood.
A frown crinkled the Princess's brow. Cu's words echoed again in her head. 'He rubs off on you.' It struck her suddenly. "Does...can...you read anyone else on me, Cu?"
-Yes.-
"Well, who?" She was immensely curious, and a little queasy. Anyone could leave their essence on her? Like a greasy fingerprint marring her soul forever...was that what it was?
-All your close friends. Your father, And the dead evil one. The small one and the dark woman.-
Robotnik has a mark on me? She shuddered. And Snively....and Casssar...? "What does...what does Snively's essence say?"
He was their new enemy now, as far as she knew. He was in the city, perched on the throne, following in his Uncle's footsteps. With Casssar. But they hadn't done anything since that day.Maybe...maybe he was satisfied with his Uncle's death...maybe he would leave them alone.
-He is jumbled. I sense admiration.-
Sally snorted.
-I sense hate and resentment. He is definitely an enemy, with a potential to change. To become worse.-
"No surprise."
-Or better.-
Sally's frown deepened. "I doubt that, Cu. Not by himself." She didn't mention Cu Chulainne's desire to heal Snively...that day when she'd killed Robotnik. She'd stopped Cu, she told It 'NO', because she wanted the demons that tormented Snively to drive him to madness, to drive him to suicidal despair. He deserved to suffer. He didn't deserve to be saved, or healed. "He's...beyond repair..."
-That is not true.-
But Sally didn't want to discuss it further. She stood up. "I still wish...I could just tell everyone," she steered the subject back to her current dilemma. "I don't see-"
Just then, the soft rumble of the hidden door alerted her to another presence. She whirled around, though it could be only one person.
And it was he. King Acorn, cape dragging upon the smooth floor, stepped into the basking glow of the Source Pool and its protector. "Ah, Sally. I expected to find you here."
"Daddy." She greeted him with the question nagging her mind. "Why can't we tell about this place?"
He was at the edge of the pool, the light bathing his face silver and gold. "I've told you before, Sally, this is a secret place of the Royal Family. No one outside our family can know of it! Even you, my dear, were not to know of it so soon."
"But what about Sonic? I can't even tell him?"
"No, I am afraid not."
"But...but he..." She gulped. "He's part of our family."
He shook his head gently. "Your love for him does not mean he is a part of the family. I am sorry."
She mused wildly about running to Sonic, about marrying him. Just so she could bring him here and show him. "But he will be, in the future, daddy! He WILL be."
"He isn't NOW, Sally. I'm sorry." His tone had gotten a bit sharper; heeding the end of the conversation. Sullenly, his daughter kicked at the pool again. She was not one who gave up easily, but neither was her father. The stubborn clashing of their wills would get them nowhere.
"Well, alright, then," she finally said, changing the subject. "I've...well...I'm planning to have a meeting today. To discuss Robot- the body. What to do with the body."
"Ah," the king nodded. "It is becoming a bit of a problem. It was thinking of holding a meeting about that as well."
"Daddy?" she was hesitant, staring down at the Source. "What do you think about me...about what I did?"
"I think nothing. They were not your actions."
She was silent; he continued. "And what do you think of me? I was powerless. I did nothing to stop Snively from calling that monster Julian."
"You couldn't..." She understood his point immediately. "Casssar's magic wouldn't let you."
He squeezed her shoulder. "Yes, my dear, but just knowing that doesn't make it easier. For either of us."
She leaned her head upon his hand. "It's hard to think...that there are times when you can't do anything."
The King was quiet. There was a deep sadness in his aura. Even without the insight of Cu Chulainne, Sally could feel it. She thought...anybody within three miles of him could feel it, like great undulating waves of sorrow rolling off of him...
"Yes, my child, I know. Sometimes, I think I know that better than anyone."
They both stood for a long while, not talking, both lost in thoughts of their own misgivings and weaknesses...but both understanding they shared these feelings. That they weren't alone.
Finally Sally pulled away. "Well...I'd better get going...the meeting will be on soon..."
It was still not for a few hours, but she wanted out of the cavern; it was the epitome of her problems suddenly. But no, that wasn't really it...it was just the deceit, the deceit to Sonic, that nagged at her conscience. This place was the answer she couldn't give, the truth she couldn't reveal.
Or maybe I can... A sly thought came as she exited the cavern.
She made her way through the bushes. Still, the pool lay empty. The water was calm and she debated taking a swim. Letting that cool liquid soothe her, float her despair away. Ah, it sounded so good...
She stripped off her vest and laid it upon the large log, and she had gotten her boots off, smiling as her toes sank into the cool mud, when she heard a rustling in the nearby bushes.
She looked towards the sound; whoever it was tried unsuccessfully to conceal their presence, but they were making too much noise, cracking sticks and scuffling on the leaves.
"Alright, who's over there?" she asked, annoyed at her tranquility being disturbed.
There was a little yelp, and out of the foliage tumbled Tails, his fur stuck with twigs and thorns, and his gloved paw rubbing at his eye.
"Oh, hi there, sweetie," the squirrel greeted. "Are you coming for a swim?"
"Uh no," the kit said, standing briskly and brushing himself free of the debris. "I was just...uh...looking for mushrooms." He sprinted away up the path and Sally closed her mouth; she'd been all set to ask if he knew what ones were safe to eat, and how to tell – then she turned back to the pool.
Somehow, the water didn't look as enticing. She felt unsettled. With a shrug, she waded out anyway...she had time to kill after all.
Inside the head of Mobius's most way past cool hedgehog, Sonic!
He didn't have much to tell me. I wasn't disappointed in him, though. I didn't really want there to be anything to tell.
"Hey, it's ok, lil bro, that's what I thought anyway. There's nothin' wrong with ole Sal."
Tails smiled, but it looked troubled. "Cool!" Then his voice reflected his face, worried. "But...but what could be wrong with Aunt Sally, Sonic? She's not a robot clone, is she?"
Boy, was that kid paranoid about robot clones. He'd been the only one, all that time ago, to know about the fake Sally Robotnik had built. He was a smart kid, he really was. Robotnik was stupid though. It sure fooled us, but he never tried it again. I would've, if I were him. Not that I want to be like old lard-butt, but I sure would've tried it again.
But he didn't. This Sally wasn't a fake. She defiantly wasn't. "No way! She's Sally, alright! I'm just a little worried about her, is all, ya know? She's probably still a little stressed after what happened."
"Yeah," the kit nodded, looking cheery again. He always took my word as a definite truth. Sometimes that bothered me. I know, I'm nearly perfect, but not totally. Sometimes, I screw up. I don't want to let him down, or anyone else, for that matter. But I will sometime. I just know I will...it can't be helped.
I want to tell him that, but I can't, because he's so hopeful. He's still so innocent.
"Yeah," Tails repeated. "She seems ok to me."
I patted him on the shoulder, smiling, but inside I felt really funny. Like I might cry or something. "That's the spirit."
"Should I keep following her?"
"Oh sure, if you want," I said it very nonchalant; I was really trying to swallow this odd lump in my throat.
I just wanted to believe Sally was really ok. She killed Robotnik; she's never killed anything before, not on purpose. I know, it was Robotnik. I would've killed him too, to protect Knothole. It still marks her, though....it makes her different to me.
Oh...I waved to Tails and ran off quickly, because the lump was choking me. She's different, but she's still the same. I want her to be the same old Sal, more than anything, more than I ever wanted Robuttnik dead, even.
Speaking of Robuttnik... I checked my watch. It was about time to set up the meeting. Once we got rid of stinky old Buttnik, maybe stuff would get better.
I kept running, my vision starting to blur. It wasn't raining though.
Please, just let it get better.