My Heart Doth Wander
Chapter 3 : Robotnik at your Disposal
If you took all the little feelings in your heart
And took all those little feelings all apart –
Well, what's the point in doing all of that?
"Last Train" – Travis
The meeting was postponed for two hours, because people were slow in coming, and Sonic couldn't find everyone. Geoffrey (Sonic didn't care if he showed or not) had been out with Hershey, Bunnie, and one of his MPs, a badger named Tory. They filtered into the caf' just as Sonic announced they would be holding the meeting over dinner.
Sally wasn't sure if discussing Robotnik's corpse while they were eating was a good idea, but here they were.
She was quite sure the texture of Sonic's bowl of chili (a crumbly red) and the bowl of rice would take on disgusting traits, like bloody meat and wiggling maggots.
She tried to push that thought away; still, she refused a portion of either dish.
"Alright," she said, after everyone had settled down, loathe to bring up the subject. "As you know, we're here to talk about..." she fumbled, "...the...the body. It's been lying there for far too long. Something has to be done about it."
"Oh oui, oui, mah Princess," said Antoine from the end of the table. "The smell, it is making me swoon whenever I am smelling it!" the fox wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"It's really gross!" agreed Tails and Dulcy nodded.
"It's about bloody time, luv," Geoffrey was eating some of the chili mixed with rice. The combination made Sally's mouth twist.
"Me and Tory were jus' talking about it today. It ain't healthy, that's for sure. Surprised we ain't all got bloody sick yet."
Some of the villagers seated at the table in the corner where muttering and casting glances at Sally. She thought she saw one's mouth form the words 'crazy' and the others nodded. She cleared her throat and hailed an arm at them. "You have a suggestion over there?"
They all looked nervous, gulping, and one of the women shakily responded. "Ah...uh...no Your Highness."
Sally let out a sigh. "Well, come on, people, don't be shy. This isn't just a Freedom Fighter problem, it's all of ours."
Geoffrey grinned very deviously, elbowing Tory. "Let's chop 'im up and eat 'im."
Tory sniggered. "He'd last a few months. Maybe years!"
There were groans and gags all around. Sally tapped her fork against the tabletop, features twisting in annoyance. "Boys, serious suggestions only!"
"I was being serious..." Geoffrey chortled as he shoveled another heap of the chili-rice combo into his mouth.
"Well, how about we throw him in the lake? Or the pool?" Tory suggested.
Antoine stared at his water glass, beginning to shudder as images flooded him. He pictured a night guarding the pool, and he lay there as usual, yawning, waiting for the ring. The waters rippled, disturbed from underneath, but no golden ring came from the depths. It was a robotic hand, grasping, covering in slime and grit. Moving like a shark towards him, reaching for him...
He let out a squeal and shook his head violently. "Non, NON! We cannot be doing that!"
"What are you whining about now?" Geoffrey growled. Sonic scoffed.
Tails and Dulcy wore similar expressions of horror. They also saw the terror of Robotnik's corpse, pursuing them, devouring them as they swam in their beloved pool. They squealed along with Antoine, joining his protests.
"No way! I could never swim there again with HIM in the water!"
"I hardly think that's healthy," agreed Sally. "Dumping a rotting corpse..." She had to look away from Geoffrey and Sonic's meals, "Into such a small body of water? It would contaminate our supply. Not to mention..." She nodded at Tails and Dulcy, "It's just a repulsing thought, I agree."
"Well, excuse me," Tory rolled his eyes.
"How about..." said the woman who'd stammered earlier, "How about we just bury the body?"
It was the most obvious solution, but Tails, Dulcy and Antoine still looked less than thrilled. That robotic hand could rise from dirt as easily as it could through water.
For some reason, the idea didn't take with Sally either. It just seemed...wrong...somehow, to place such an enemy of the planet itself into the ground, like planting a tainted seed, spreading a cancer. Nothing would grow there. She just knew nothing would grow there again.
Sonic spoke for the first time; the hedgehog had been strangely quiet regarding the disposal of his arch nemesis. Sally eyed him with a crease of worry on her brow. Several times she'd heard him slip. He'd started talking about 'How we gonna bring ole Buttnik down today?"...and then, after a moment's pause, his face blushed. "Oh right. He's dead."
"Let's burn the bastard. I don't want him in our ground. He doesn't really deserve that, yo."
Sally twiddled her fork absently on her plate (she hadn't yet touched her food), watching him, puzzled by the constraint in his voice – it was empty of the fierce emotion he usually displayed towards Robotnik.
"I mean," he cast a sidelong glance at Sally, "You don't want to give him a marker, do you? What – 'here lies Robotnik, the most evil dude ever who ruined all our lives'? He shouldn't have anything. He shouldn't be remembered."
Everyone was watching the blue hedgehog; he began to stir his chili around, his nostrils flaring. Sally felt the need to say something profound, to let Sonic know she heard his words. But she could only think of a rebuke. "Some things need to be remembered. So we learn."
"We shouldn't remember him," repeated Sonic stubbornly, his head bowed.
Tails let out a little whimper. He was short enough to see Sonic's expression as he slid alongside his idol's chair.
Geoffrey looked savage, as if an epiphany had hit him...he leaned forward and snarled, rice spraying from his mouth. "I don't think you want to forget, spineball! You ain't anything special now, are you? You wish he was still alive, don't you? You bloody HERO!!"
Sonic shot out of his chair like a spring, hurtling over the table and at Geoffrey. The skunk and chair toppled, his dish went clattering onto the floor. The two combatants were oblivious, rolling over into the spilled food. Sally had a horrific vision of gore and maggots wiggling upon their fur. Geoffrey picked up a piece of broken plate and attempted to hit Sonic with it; Sonic punched it away. It nearly struck Tails as it flew into the air – the kit ducked right in time.
"You shut it, St. Stink! You think I want him alive, after what he did?!" Sonic snarled, grappling at Geoffrey's face.
"No Robotnik means no need for yer damn speed anymore! And you know it!" Geoffrey landed a hard punch to Sonic's cheek.
They were wrenched apart violently, and held tightly – the sputtering Sonic by Bunnie - and Geoffrey, frothing, by Rotor. The walrus, despite his bulk, found it hard to keep the skunk restrained.
"Sit down!" Bunnie growled and roughly pushed Sonic into his chair. Rotor held Geoffrey a second later, then released him. The skunk took his seat without a word. He didn't bother to pick up his plate.
"There's never gonna be anyone like him again," Sonic sounded like he was on the verge of tears. To cover it, he began to eat, his eyes gleaming with anger...and other things.
Sally knew Geoffrey was right, in some sense. Not all for selfishness Sonic's fear was...but the fear too, of fading into uselessness. She felt her eyes sting with a rush of water and salt – she blinked it away. They'd spent their lives fighting. It was too hard to picture it otherwise, to picture one's use when the war finally ended. Even though they'd all dreamed about this, hoped for this.
There was a tense period of silence, well mostly silence. The group in the corner were whispering again, along with some of the other tables. Sally took a drink, reluctant to draw attention back to herself – and Sonic.
Finally she cleared her throat, loudly, and stood up. "So...yes, fire. That's what I was thinking too, but I wanted everyone's opinion. Since he was an enemy so near and dear to all our hearts..." Her words tainted with sarcasm, trailed off, because the group in the corner were staring at her, and Sonic had even lifted his head to gaze at her. She felt her cheeks flame; her body chill.
His heart. Robotnik's. If he had one. Emotionally he didn't, physically, he had...and Sally had taken a knife and stabbed him through it. That's how he'd finally died, with Sally hurling her full body weight behind that dagger, rending him open. Sonic had seen her, Tails, Antoine, they'd all seen her. Seen their noble Princess in savage murderous glory, stabbing at Robotnik like a psychopath.
She choked and nearly sat down.
It wasn't MY fault, she wanted to cry. I was under a SPELL! I couldn't stop myself! He was going to die anyway, because all of YOU ripped him apart, you clawed, and bit, and chewed him up, you punched and broke, mauled and mutilated him...YOU ALL DID IT.
What I did was trivial compared to that, and yet, I understand...I understand that you couldn't help it, you were ensnared. Can't you do the same for ME? Can't you give me the same honor, the same forgiveness?!
But she didn't. She tossed her hair, and frowning, continued on as if the stares didn't matter. "Do we all agree to burn the body? A show of hands will do."
After a moment's hesitation, everyone in the room raised their hands. Sally stuck hers in the air as well, nodding. "Ok. Alright then. We'll do it... tonight."
"Tonight?"
"Why not?" The young Princess sighed. "It's been put off long enough."
"Tonight, everyone," said Sonic in a loud tone, commanding the room's attention.
"I think it's important to attend. So we can put this all behind us. So we can...can...accept what's in the past, and move on." And Sally sat down, and finally ate her meal, silently. The rest of the villagers returned to their whispering and eating.
King Acorn, looking as if he knew exactly what had occurred at the meeting, finally entered and helped himself to a bowl of chili.
Sally leaned forward as her father raised his spoon to his mouth. "The body is going to be burned...tonight."
Sometimes Casssar thought Death wasn't the enemy, the ultimate betrayer of Life.
Sometimes, she mused, her eyes on the Black Flower, who was sleeping in the throne, his face haunted even in sleep, sometimes she thought that was the whole purpose. That everything in Life lead to Death. Death WAS the goal. But the more pain, the more love, the more joy, the more knowledge one gathered before passing the better. The better to enter the doorway.
Snively twitched on the throne, his long fingers curling, his mouth forming a word, like a silent 'no'. He was changing, Casssar realized, slowly into something else. It was oh-so-subtle but it was there.
Death is the goal. You can't rush it. It's of its own accord. It's CHANGE. Not a killing of life, a change.
From larvae to chrysalis to butterfly, from seed to bud to blooming rose...every time they change, they DIE. What they were is dead.
Snively jerked awake with a little shriek, staring across the room with wraiths in his eyes, clutching him – changing him oh-so-subtly.
Those beautiful blue eyes had gone to chrysalis.
Casssar felt pain inside her chest, like a bullet had rended her heart.
She suddenly hated Death with all her might.
The moon was sickle-shaped and a light wind had kicked up over Knothole. More than half the village milled around the bonfire pit, most of them looking like they wished they hadn't come.
Doctor Quack was sporting a black version of his lab coat...his idea of a joke, Sally guessed. His nurse Bessie was clinging to his arm.
King Acorn struck up a fire with the help of Dulcy. Tails brought kindling, and soon there was a hearty blaze lighting up the dark.
The villagers mumbled uneasily as a grumbling Geoffrey and Tory pulled back the trap covering Robotnik's body to peep under. Tory gagged. Geoffrey tried futilely to wave the stench away. "Blimey! He's ripe, ain't he?"
Sally wanted to hold her nose, but it would look undignified, but Tails and Dulcy didn't care. They clamped paws over muzzles and backed away.
"Bloody hell, just about every bug in the Great Forest is in here-"
"ENOUGH, Geoffrey!" snapped the Princess. "Please, just get him...it...into the fire."
Tory grabbed hold of Robotnik's metal arm...it was probably the only part free of insects...and tugged. But even deteriorated Robotnik's body was a massive weight. The badger grunted and gave up. "We're gonna need some more hands to move this."
Reluctantly, Sonic stepped forward. King Acorn and Rotor followed. Bunnie wrinkled her nose and joined them. "Alright, how's about we roll 'im into the fire?"
They did so, trying to keep the tarp in place. Even with Bunnie's strength, it was a difficult task. They grunted and struggled, finally getting the body to roll. It took four rolls to get the body to the fire, all the while beetles and maggots spilled out from under the tarp, and the stench was almost unbearable.
"I'm gonna have to burn my gloves after this," Sonic complained. Bunnie's eyes were watering.
"At least yer wearing gloves!" said Tory.
With a great heave, they moved the corpse into the blaze. The fire smoldered and died down. Geoffrey took a jug of kerosene and sprinkled it over the tarp.
The flames roared up again, but hardly anyone stood by to catch their warmth. There were odd sizzling noises from under the tarp. The smell of burning rotting flesh was hardly appetizing and the tarp itself was throwing off an unpleasant smoke. The shifting winds did little to alleviate the odor.
But nobody left. They stood watching in silence. Sonic stripped off his gloves and threw them into the fire.
The tarp crinkled and distorted, bubbling from the heat, and peeling back to reveal their enemy. Their dead enemy...his sightless eyes, his monstrous hands...hands that had built weapons of destruction, hands that had fashioned machines to kill and enslave, hands that had drawn out plans to cast out their beloved king.
The monarch stood, hands clasped stiffly behind his back. A stoic statue. But his mustache quivered and his eyes held a sheen of wetness.
He cleared his throat gruffly and addressed the roaring flames.
"As you burn...I feel a change in me. As if something in me has died as well. The last of my naivety is in these flames. The rest of my childish thoughts that good can be found in every man. My mercy for deceivers goes with you. I hope you are proud of the changes you have wrought in me," He spread his large hands, his eyes dangerously close to flooding, "I hope you find some worth in the afterlife for the crimes you committed."
He turned to Sally, one of those quivering hands rested on her shoulder. "You have no idea how sorry I am for what I've done to you. To ALL of you."
He looked the villagers over in turn, losing the battle against tears. They fell in twin lines down his peach cheek-fur, silent and noble agony for his grievous error, the trusting of Julian that led to the downfall of all their lives. But not a one stared back in accusation, or hate.
"Daddy, we don't blame you." Sally put her hand onto her father's, squeezing his fingers. "Robotnik deceived everyone."
The king nodded. He didn't believe it. He should've seen, shouldn't have trusted.
But if they were willing to forgive him, shouldn't he accept it, outwardly at least? Drowning in self-pity and brooding over past mistakes did no good to his people, as much as he wanted to indulge in the darkness and guilt. He patted his daughter's hand. "Yes, he did. Deceived us all. Ruined our concept of trust."
There was silence. King Acorn felt the need to add something positive, a ray of hope. "We have a new chance now, to rebuild and start over. Maybe someday...we can get that concept back."
With those words, which seemed to hold a ring of untruth to Sally, but encouraged the others, the King retired to his hut. Most of the villagers followed his example and drifted away from the fire, until only a handful remained, along with the core Freedom Fighters.
The winds shifted direction and the pungent smoke washed over them. In a unison movement, everyone moved to the other side of the bonfire. The flames were rising higher now, obscuring the dead tyrant's body from sight.
Antoine watched them in relief, glad that those eyes weren't watching him anymore, and then he turned to Bunnie. His eyes were still haunted. He never had faith that the horrors were over, that the horrors could ever be over. "What do we do, mon amour, now that he is gone?"
"It's not all that different, Antoine," said Bunnie, and Sally's gaze jolted in her direction. A hard frown touched her young face. How could the rabbot say that?
Was it her arms, her legs? They still consisted of hard cold metal, reflecting the firelight, strangely beautiful. They would get those fixed...somehow...
"Snively's still alive." Bunnie acknowledged Sally's stare, though her own emerald eyes were still focused on her lover. "The fight ain't over yet."
Sally was unpleasantly surprised; she'd forgotten about Snively. The tyrant's nephew – a murderer, betrayer, usurper. Treacherous and icy, he still lived. She knew why she'd forgotten. He was so small and insignificant. She'd never seen him as a threat, before, but now, with Bunnie's words, she seemed to recall just WHY Robotnik was incinerating in front of them.
It wasn't all because of Sally, with her enchanted hand and dagger. The order had come from Snively. How odd that she'd forgotten that.
It must be the stress. Worrying over this...' She stared at the fire, And Sonic. Her eyes strayed to the blue hedgehog; he was talking with Tails. 'Strange that I forgot the whole reason for this mess.'
'But I should thank him too. Robotnik IS dead...'
She tried to dredge it up, feelings of joy, happiness, relief, feelings of hope and peace...
They seemed just as fleeting and insubstantial as flesh in flames...
From the be-crowned head of I, Casssar, Queen of Robotropolis
Two days passed. Every night when he slid from the throne, casting me a wink or perverted smile...I felt fear. I felt fear for him, you see, because I saw fear in his eyes. He was afraid to go to sleep, but he knew sleep was essential...he knew his fears were unfounded, and he wanted to fight it. So he retired, going to his bed...I wanted to conjure magic, place myself alongside him in his dreams and fight with him.
I should've. Maybe I should've. But I didn't. I thought infringing on his battle...on this sort of battle...would be arrogant and not my place.
I wonder what he thinks.
Maybe I'll ask him.
Right now...I just watch him...with fear shining in my eyes.
Knothole Village.
On the third day, the fire went out.
They let it go out. Geoffrey and Tory had steadily tended to it, ensuring that the body was fully cremated. When the flames finally died, and the embers finally cooled, they fetched King Acorn.
Sally was with him, and when Sonic saw them headed for the pit, he joined. Tails was loping alongside him. Bunnie and Antoine, nuzzling under a nearby tree, watched curiously.
"Well...the bloke's finally gone." Geoffrey nodded his magenta-bereted head towards the ashes. He stirred them up with a stick, then reached down, pulling out two metal cylinders. "A few parts are left...and we wanted to know what to do with 'em."
Nestled in Tory's palms were two round black marbles with red dots...
Robotnik's synthetic eyes. Geoffrey's hands bore the tyrant's artificial ears.
King Acorn picked up the last object left. He had to hold it in both hands.
The roboticized left arm of Julian Ivo Robotnik. It was by far the most disturbing and frightening item. A symbol of his power and cruelty.
Sally felt it wrong to throw these things away. They were horrible, but as she had voiced at the meeting...they MUST be remembered.
King Acorn reflected her thoughts. "Give them to me, St John. I'm going to lock them in a safe place. They are a piece of history...after all..."
The skunk nodded. He and Tory, along with the King, headed for the monarch's hut.
"Sonic..." Sally said, as the hedgehog started to leave.
He turned back.
"I just want to tell you..." She stared at his bare hands, hanging by his sides. She wanted to hurl herself into his arms, and utter the next words. But she remained where she was, standing rigidly. "That...you'll never be...useless, Sonic."
He looked taken aback, and his cheeks flushed. "Er...well...no kidding, Sal!"
She wanted to whisper to him, as she clutched him... 'I love you...'
He turned to leave again.
"I'm always here...if you need me," she said...as he ran off.
Nightfall came like a funeral shroud, mourning the loss of day. Sally's invitation to Sonic had gone unheeded; her love had not come to confide in her. Tails had been lurking about her that day, pretending to be nonchalant, but when she called him out and tried to talk to him, he too had retreated.
So, the night was here, and the sky was utterly dark...the cloud covering was thick enough to hide the moonlight. They didn't move...for it was windless. She left her hut, feeling restless, and wandered the village. She went to the pool, thinking a chat with Cu Chulainne might ease her mind...but she changed her mind as she neared the water's edge.
When she headed back to her hut, still quite unsettled, she passed by the firepit and its heap of ashes. She was struck by compulsion so strong that she hastened to her abode and began to fumble through her trinkets. A small jewelry box, given to her by Antoine a few birthdays ago, caught her eye. She didn't own much jewelry so the box was not essential. She snatched it and returned to the pile of ashes.
With trembling hands, she undid the box's clasp and lifted up lid. Then with hesitation, a moment to wonder why she was doing this, but unable to fight the compulsion, she scooped a handful of ashes into the box. They settled dully in the red velvet interior. Gray and dead and with the scent of burnt human flesh still clinging most vilely.
She sat on her haunches, staring at the crumbled remains, then started upwards. She really ought to leave. If Sonic saw her collecting Robotnik's ashes, he would REALLY think something was wrong with her.
Half-temped to dump them out, Sally snapped the lid closed and stowed the box away in her hut, in the closet, on the highest shelf. She hoped the sickly smell would not seep through the box into her hut...
She paced, restlessly, and finally sank into bed, but sleep did not overtake her for many hours after.