Chapter 5 : Smudged Photograph
I look up to the little bird
That glides across the sky
He sings the clearest melody
It makes me want to cry
It makes me want to sit right down
And cry, cry, cry.
I walk along the city streets
So dark with rage and fear
And I wish that I could be that bird
And fly away from here
I wish I had the wings to fly away from here.
"Little Bird" – Annie Lenox
From the pen of Princess Sally Acorn
Dear Journal,
I took out Robotnik's ashes today and stared at them. I even touched them. I can still smell the stink on my hands.
But he's gone now.
Everything is just fine.
She closed the book with a snap. Maybe someday, she would look back and not realize that last line was a lie. Because maybe everything would be just fine.
She decided, washing her hands, that today was the day to rip down the walls between she and Sonic.
Even if she had to lie. Or betray her family secret...
Outside was a turmoil. The wind was blowing hard. Leaves scattered high-speed across the ground, chasing each other, flying as fast as they could away from Knothole. She wished she could fly with them...this place of sanctuary had grown dark.
Dear Journal...Knothole has never been happier. It's like the clouds of war have lifted.
She looked up. The skies were gray and deep colonial blue.
She went back to her hut and tied her mussed hair in a bun, then eyed the room, seeing if anything needed immediate attention. But the place was clean.
'Quit stalling!' She glared sternly into the mirror and outside she went once again.
With her hair out of her face, she pretended she could see things more clearly. Like how to reconcile...
Going past the fire pit, she noticed most of the ashes had blown away.
Dear JournalHe really IS gone now. Everything is so perfect. Like we've forgotten all the pain he wrought.
She searched for Sonic, checking his hut, the pool, the training grounds, the guard posts, searching, going back to each spot again...checking the café and everywhere...but he was not to be found.
The entire time she strode about, she had a vague feeling of being watched. But she probably was. The villagers eyed her suspiciously whenever they saw her. Some even went the other way, as if expecting her to pull a knife on them.
So she ignored it, for a while, until she noticed one constant: Tails. He was sneaking around her, sometimes walking innocently, and other times making a conscious (though not very good) effort to keep out of sight.
Either Tails was looking for Sonic too, and strangely, in the exact places and order she was, or he was following her. Tailing Tails. He was always keen on that spy stuff. Uncle Chuck had yet to answer to Tails' enthusiastic request to join the elder hedgehog on some of his missions. She had a very good feeling Tails was practicing on her.
She debated letting him play, but she was getting annoyed, and so she spoke. "Tails...hey. I know you're in there. Come out."
Reluctantly, the kit emerged from a bush. A leaf was stuck to his ear and he flicked it off. "Yeah Aunt Sally?"
"Have you seen Sonic?"
"Uh..." His eyes darted around. "Er...no."
"You have no idea where he is?"
"Er no...uh..."
He had a better vocabulary than that. He only seemed to forget it when he was lying.
"Tails, it's important I find him." She sighed impatiently. "I know you know where he is, honey."
He covered his eyes with his hands. "I'm not supposta tell."
She frowned, thinking. So...Sonic was keeping tabs on her through Tails. Typical. Or perhaps not. Sonic usually never hesitated to question her himself.
He had been lacking in those issues of trust and love, lately. A hard gust of wind nearly bowled her over; for a moment she thought it was from him. The trees bent and rustled and a parade of whirling leaves blew past her face. She thought of flying with them again, following them away from here...following...
"Ok, Tails. How about I follow you to where Sonic is? Then you won't have to tell me."
The boy turned his toes inwards, rocking, uncertain. Then he looked up, scrutinizing her closely.
"It's me, Tails," she assured him. "I'm the same. It's just...that things have changed. Knothole has changed."
Tails stood up straight. "Ok. Follow me."
Tails led her from Knothole. They walked for quite a ways. Sally thought he was leading her to Robotropolis...but they veered off-course from the city and went further into rocky barren areas.
She heard the bubbling of hot water and nodded in realization. The hot springs. They were off-limit to most Knothole residents due to their dangerous proximity to Robotnik's empire. Sonic, of course, had never obeyed the rules, and she even heard other voices talking along with his as they drew closer.
Dear JournalRobotnik is gone and we're so safe. Or so we think. Everyone was so glad that one threat was dead...that they forgot the other, and it pounced and ripped out their throats.
But even she wasn't worried. Snively...he wasn't the face she saw when she thought of the words: Dangerous, fatal, formidable. Even after what he'd done to prove he fit those definitions.
She kept telling herself that Snively was of the same blood as Robotnik, of the same treacherous ambitions. Robotnik was a grenade...far more devastating, while Snively was a pistol. But pistols, though small, were still just as deadly.
Maybe she and Sonic would discuss him, but not until they mended this rift first...
He was in a crater of steaming water. In a separate crater were Bunnie, Dulcy, and Antoine. They were talking loudly over the frothing liquid, apparently sharing some silly jokes. Sonic fell silent in mid-laugh at the sight of she and Tails.
Bunnie covered the awkward moment smoothly. "Come on in, Sally-girl, the water's jus' fine!"
Just the heat from the steam was making Sally sweat, but if it gave her a chance to talk to Sonic... She stripped off her boots and vest and put them onto the ground in a neat pile. Then tentatively, toes curling up, she dipped a foot into the water.
Ouch. Hot.
"Isn't a bit warm for this?" She questioned, sinking her entire leg in.
"It's nice once ya get in," Bunnie replied. Both she and Antoine's hands were concealed under the water, and Antoine was grinning. Sally rolled her eyes.
"If you say so."
Tails hopped in with the others, while Sally slowly lowered her torso into the water. It was deep in the middle, reaching to her chin. She walked to where Sonic was seated on an underwater ledge, and joined him. The heat was making her feel limp and weak.
"So," said the hedgehog, casting a glance over at Tails. "You found me."
Sally nodded. "We need to talk. I mean...a real talk."
He gave her an 'Aww, do we have to?' look but she did not blanch. Midnight blue eyes replied: "Oh yes. We most certainly do."
Sonic sighed and stood up. "Hey look guys, me an' Sal need some...private time." He winked at Antoine, but the fox wasn't buying Sonic's nonchalant attitude. He and Bunnie exchanged glances. Tails looked nervous. Dulcy was blowing bubbles underwater, totally oblivious.
The hedgehog and squirrel left the crater and went out of earshot where they slipped into another steamy tub, much smaller. She thought this could be romantic, if they were on regular terms again. But Sonic looked uncomfortable, and for a while they didn't speak a word.
She decided to be blunt. "All right, Sonic. I want you to tell me...what is wrong with me?"
He looked startled. "What? Wrong with you, Sal?"
"Yes."
"Er...well nothing."
She raised an eyebrow.
He fidgeted. "It's just that...I..." He took a deep breath and poked a large bubble. It broke and he blurted out," I don't know if you're the same person anymore."
Dear JournalOh, is that all? When Sonic said that I felt such great relief.
She was so glad of the steam. Making their fur wet and drip. He wouldn't know the water seeping off her chin wasn't just condensation.
But he was right, in a way. She wasn't the same, no, not exactly the same as she had been before the fall of Robotnik. None of them were. She could argue, that with each passing second, they all changed just a tiniest bit. But to warp beyond recognition? She 't have done that.
She wanted to argue vehemently against him, but she gave quarter. "All right...so...so... I have changed a little. We're all bound to change now that such an important thing our lives," she watched a bubble pop, explode into nothingness, "is gone."
He concentrated on chasing a cluster of bubbles with his finger. "Ok...yeah."
She could tell he was preparing to say something else; she waited, and finally he looked up, emerald eyes searching her. Testing the waters, as it were.
"I can get why you killed him...but it's the how that's got me. It's like it wasn't even you."
She opened her mouth, but he was only pausing for a breath.
"St. John told me it was a spell. Everyone was under some spell. He says he remembers it, even though some of the others don't."
Oh. How to do this? To completely spill the Family secret? Or to only tell him of Casssar? How would that explain her fighting back, when Cu Chulainne had helped her fight against Casssar? He'd seen it. He'd seen her shooting magic out of her fingertips.
"I WAS under a spell, and so was everyone else," She agreed.
He was quiet.
"Sonic, you SAW his body. I couldn't have done all THAT to him. They attacked him...but it wasn't their fault!"
"I know..." he said, slowly, the tone of voice when one wants to believe, and does, mostly, but still has a nagging doubt, "Snively's chick did it. Croissant, or whatever."
Despite herself, Sally laughed. "That's CASSSAR, Sonic."
"Whatever. She's the one who did it?" He was nodding as he said it. Casssar had attacked him with magic. He knew she had power.
"Yes. So Snively could kill Robotnik..." She clenched her fists underwater, lowered her head so he couldn't see her eyes. Just remembering how Snively had turned them into murderers unwilling...it made her rage tremble like a heart attack inside her. It nearly killed her with its intensity. She wanted to hurt him again, she wanted to tear him open. "He USED us." Her voice held a rare undercurrent of loathing.
Sonic frowned heavily, and he was finally compelled to touch her...resting one of his bare hands on her arm. "Don't worry, Sal. We'll get him too."
She clenched her hand around his. "Sonic...why didn't you trust it was me?" She was always so dignified and composed. But right now...maybe the heat was putting cracks in her wall...a slight tremor shook her voice. It HURT her to think of Sonic mistrusting her, to think of him believing she was a corrupted person. It was like...like years of their friendship and love had taught him nothing about her.
"It was just..." He looked so ashamed, his ears flattened to his head. "Snively found Knothole...and it was like...how did he find it? And that was the day you were running towards Knothole...like all weird-acting. I mean, I KNOW!" He tightened his hand on her arm, "I Know you would NEVER, but...it was just...so much stuff happened. You know? I just...I want to know how he found it. I KNOW it wasn't you," He finished desperately, averting his eyes.
She was quiet a moment. The moment of truth. Whether to tell the truth... the whole truth and nothing but the truth...or the truth, a half-truth and nothing OF the real truth?
"I think it was Casssar," she said finally. That wasn't altogether a lie. Casssar and Snively had found their Source pool...Casssar had an obsession with the Source, Cu Chulainne had told her. "She ...sensed Knothole. And Snively found out somehow."
"Maybe," he said. He shuddered a little, probably thinking of Casssar and her magical attack on him. "Yeah, maybe. She was...pretty creepy." He eyed her again, keenly. His gaze was so perceptive that Sally thought maybe...Sonic wasn't as dim-minded as some believed him to be, even herself sometimes. He was almost always shrouded in bravado and immature boyhood ways. It belied any mature intelligence within. "But you two...seemed to know each other. Just how do you know her, Sally?"
"I've met her before." Sally sank a little further into the bubbles, her eyes half-closing. Her muscles felt like they were turning into limp useless masses. "She was with Snively... I was out near Robotropolis. And I bumped into them. He wasn't trying to get me or anything, it was weird. And she talked to me..." She frowned. "She's very interested in magic. Maybe...maybe there's something magical in Knothole that she sensed." She was treading the thin line between lies and truth. She was starting to see black and white and not the gray in-between. For Daddy, she had to stay in the gray. For herself...she had to stay out of the black. For Sonic, she SHOULD stray into the white. The absolute truth.
"Geoffrey met her too," the hedgehog yawned; the heat was getting to him too. "He said he met her an' Snively in the woods. She attacked him." He chuckled. "I wouldn't be surprised if it was Snively who kicked HIS butt." He let out a guffaw. "Stinky said he 'chased them off'. Ha!"
She didn't say anything. Now that they were getting along again, she didn't want to chastise him for teasing Geoffrey. At least the skunk wasn't around to hear, so it could be ignored.
Sonic yawned again. "How about we get out? My legs are like mush."
"Good idea."
They clambered out of the stone basin and sat down on the hard ground, leaning back against the rocks. Sally felt like she could sleep for a day and then some; Sonic's eyelids were drooping.
"Where did she come from, I wonder..." The hedgehog raised a hand to scratch his chin, but it fell down limply halfway there. He sighed.
She was wondering if they'd ever get their strength back. At least her heart felt stronger. Like a part lost to it had been found again.
"I don't know."
"Well...we'll get her too." Sonic turned his head to look at her. "And Sal...I'm sorry."
She said nothing, but her eyes accepted.
They sat for a long while in contented, blissful silence.
After dinner that night, Sally sought out a certain Mobian, and together she and Geoffrey took a walk down to the Ring Pool.
Dear Journal...all the lies I wrote in you before seem like truth.
Sonic and I are back again. I feel like I could fight forever now. But we don't have to. The end of the war is drawing near.
She might look back upon that years later and feel like a fool for writing it. But for now, it felt true.
Some of the trees were already turning colors. This did not bode well with Sally...it was barely the end of Summer. Fall was too eager to come...perhaps it was being pushed forcefully by Winter. She had never liked the cold seasons, it was like things were too long asleep, too dead...and there was always gray skies and mind-numbing winds to kill the spirit.
"But everything's so clean, luv. It's like everything's fresh and clean."
Under a layer of snow, you can't see the branch that will trip you and break your ankle.
"You never saw what happened outside with Robotnik and I," She found herself staring across the pool at the spot where the hidden door to the Source cave was located. She couldn't see it through all the foliage.
"No, but I know enough." Geoffrey skipped a stone across the disturbed surface of the pool. The wind was still volatile. "Why? Those village idiots gettin to ya, luv?"
"It just that they don't remember anything. How much do YOU remember?"
"Snively and that bitch woman. Possessed us and then everything was like a bloody haze. I knew I was walking and I could even hear some things...you were screaming." He frowned. "We were as good as frozen. But we all KNOW it was that bitch's spell."
"But their memories about killing Robotnik...were...were erased-" Sally halted in mid-sentence and pretended to have a coughing fit.
After patting her on the back and ensuring she was alright, Geoffrey spoke. "Yeah. So they wouldn't remember what they did. Kind of unfair that YOU have to remember it." He spoke as if she'd said nothing enlightening. She eyed him suspiciously. He, smiling innocently, chucked another stone. "But they all KNOW there was magic involved."
"Then why are they shunning me?" She spilled out, exasperated. She sat upon the large log, putting her chin in hand.
"Because they're idiots, like I said, mate." He searched for another stone, but seeming bored with that, he gave up and sat next to her. "They're just friggin' afraid by what happened, and they don't get how Robotnik got to be layin' dead in the middle of Knothole. And everyone heard about you..." He made a stabbing motion. "No doubt their little minds couldn't handle that."
"Well, perhaps I should hold a meeting." She mused. "All of US," she was indicating the core Freedom Fighters, "All of us know that it was Casssar that helped Snively found Knothole." Well, she was hoping they all knew. She had already spoken to Bunnie about it, lying about the Source, as daddy had prohibited the mention of it. But Bunnie had believed her half-truths all the same, and had spread the information to Antoine. "The rest of them will listen to US."
"Oh, so Sonic stopped acting like a bloody fool, eh?" Geoffrey spat on the ground. "Ain't feeling too top-notch lately, is he?"
A hard look was shot the skunk's way. "I heard you talked to him. It sounded like it was almost civil."
"Yeah. That pincushion," Geoffrey grinned sheepishly as she frowned, "Sonic had some questions for me. About you..."
"Seems odd he would go to you," she said. "You two aren't exactly friends. And well...the subject matter..." She didn't finish that sentence. Her fling with Geoffrey was usually a sore spot for the skunk. He hated to be reminded that he had lost her to Sonic. But today, he didn't seem to mind.
She was rather startled by the realization. It wasn't just now, but lately, Geoffrey just didn't care anymore. Maybe he'd found another woman to pursue. Maybe he'd accepted that she loved Sonic? All animosity he held towards Sonic now was for other reasons; she was no longer part of the equation.
She wasn't sure whether to be relieved...or mystified by this. Either way, it was odd. Like seeing bare tree branches when for months before, they had been covered in leaves.
"Well, the poor boy was all bloody confused. I really couldn't believe he was doubting you, either, luv." The skunk cast her an affectionate, yet void of coveting, smile. "I see he finally got his stinking brains sorted out."
"Uh yes. Thanks, Geoffrey."
"No prob, luv."
She left him alone there, going back to her hut. She paced, feeling unsettled once again.
But everything's alright now.
It was just something...was off. She picked up a photo of her and her beloved hedgehog, and right in the middle of the glass was a big smudged fingerprint. It was something wrong, something blurring a scene of perfection. She rubbed it off, but it didn't help ease the greasy smear in her mind.
Why did Geoffrey seem to know so much? Just clever guesswork? A gut assumption? Why would Geoffrey have those feelings and NOT Sonic, the one who was supposed to truly know her heart and soul...he WAS part of her soul...soul mates...and soul mates KNOW the truth about each other.
Maybe Sonic isn't for you...Thinking that thought made her stop pacing in her tracks, her teeth set and her fists clenched. She wanted to scream, suddenly.
Dear Journal,
I have known since the age of five years that Sonic was meant for me. We are the opposites that attract, we are the fire and ice that melt together into a calm tranquil lake. We are sky and trees, winged birds, we are the night and the day and twilight in-between. I can't describe this, but I just KNOW.
Sonic would never leave me. I would never leave him. Never, through doubt, or hate, or pain.
Sonic and I ARE SOUL MATES.
So, that wasn't it, then. She threw down the pen, slammed the journal shut. That most certainly was not the fingerprint on her perfect sunset photograph.
I'll wipe this one clean.
She nodded, flicked out the lights, and fell into dreams, chasing in the dark without a flashlight, searching for solutions that fled faster than she could run...