Mary and Sue

Chapter 1

Call Me Mary, and Call Me Sue!

So this is what Hogwarts looks like, thought Sue.

Mary and Sue were two sisters from America. They were chosen to be FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENTS and go to Hogwarts. They were not amused.

Mary and Sue DID NOT want to be at Hogwarts. Sure, it was were Dumbledor was, and he was the only person You-Know-Who was afraid of, but that didn't mean they had to like it. After all, all their numerous friends were back at the Salem Institution of Magic.

"Where are you from?" Hermione asked from behind them.

"We came," said Mary without turning around, "from America. The Salem Institution of Magic, to be exact."

"I'm Marianne," she said, finally turning around to look at Hermione. "But you can call me Mary."

Sue pivoted to gaze at Hermione. "I'm Susan. Call me Sue."

"Hermione Granger," said Hermione. "But don't call me Hermy."

"Right, see you Hermione," they said together, and turned and walked off to the Great Hall.

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They looked a little out of place as they stood with the First Years, waiting to be Sorted. All of the Great Hall, people were watching them, and talking about them. Mary and Sue were oblivious to it all--they got it wherever they went. People always stared and pointed at them.

"'Mione, what did you say their names were?" Ron asked.

"I've told you at least three times, Ron! Mary and Sue."

Harry and Ron were convinced that Mary and Sue were part veela. They weren't. Soon everyone stopped talking. The Sorting had begun.

Gryffindor, blind bravery.

You rush right into things.

You never stop to think,

But act on impulsive wings.

Ravenclaw, the opposite.

You think much to much.

You never done a herioic deed,

Or something such.

Slytherin, oh Slytherin.

The proud and noble ones.

You are so proud and noble,

You won't admit the bad you've done.

Lastly, old Hufflepuff.

You are the loyal house.

But still you jump onto your chairs,

When you see a mouse.

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A/N the First: Phaidra speaking. First off, I would like to say that this is a PARODY. So the 'Sue traits are going to be very sueish and over-exagerated. That said, I would also like to note that we do not own anything except the Sorting song and our two Suvians, Mary and Sue. So don't sue. DISCLAIMER.

A/N the Second: It's me, the beautiful authoress. Okay, the other one. The only thing I own is the song and the plot. Review or else the evil fuzzy bunnies (Phaidra speaking: bunnies are not evil! Penguins are!) will carry you away. And please disregard everything Phaidra said about penguins. (Phaidra again. It's lies, I tell you! All of it lies! She lies! I speak the truth! Don't let the penguins' cuteness fool you!. They are evil. EVIL I say!) I resent that

PS: this was written by Ethuiliel AND Phaidra. Got it?

R/R, you get a cyber cookie if you do!