Disclaimer: Slam Dunk ain't mine so ya mofo's ain't gon sue me. Fo shizzle dizzle, ya heard?!

Life With Sakuragi

Chapter 1: In da hood

Sakuragi Hanamichi awoke to a heavy clumping sound coming through the thin housing project walls. His neighbors, an unwed couple who just settled there a few weeks ago, is at it again, beefing over money and who gets to take care of the chill'run, thus inevitably having been throwing practically every furniture they have at each other. "Damn! A brotha can't get no relief!" Hanamichi thought as he forced his body to rise from the bed. He rubbed his temple and groaned in frustration as he recalled that he hasn't been able to get a good night's sleep for the past 3 nights all because of their bickering, evident enough, dark circles that formed under his eyes made a dead give away as proof of his lack of sleep. Deciding that he can't do nothing but wish that the couple be abducted by a UFO, Hanamichi languidly stepped out of his room and headed for the bathroom.

The redhead was wont to go grocery shopping every Saturday and as he got outside, a perky voice greeted him,

"Ohayou Hana-kun!!!!!!!" it was Ayumi, the ghettolicious hoodrat.

Hanamichi had to inevitably clench his teeth due to that irritating sound but he nonetheless greeted back an equally loud "Osu!!!" before dashing off away from the vicinity.

He was now walking on the streets of Kanagawa with both hands stuffed in his pockets and a big grin plastered on his face, "It's a lovely day, just got paid, stack it up, be on my way, a lovely day, lovely day, lovely daayy!" that song from Twista kept running through his head. A black car sped past him, but not too fast, enough for the redhead to hear its stereo thumping bass singing: "You know why my hands are so numb? Cuz' my grandmother sucked my d!ck and I didn't cum…" Hanamichi shuddered, "Man, those lyrics are fugly!" he said to himself and continued to walk towards the grocery store.

When finally done with the groceries, and was once again on the streets, he happened to pass by a graffiti covered bus bench, and wondered what those oversized oranges pictured on the bench were. As he got closer to the bench, he felt like whacking himself for the oversized oranges were in fact, basketballs.

"Basketball…hmm…" he read the unfamiliar name. Albeit Hanamichi doesn't know anything about basketball and certainly doesn't care, he had a strange feeling that something good was about to happen. "Meh, maybe I'm just too hungry",indeed, his stomach was grumbling and was screaming "FEED ME!" Hanamichi chuckled as he patted his stomach, "Alright, alright." He muttered and went on his way.

Numerous faces, all of which are the redhead's homies, greeted him as he neared the hood he has been living on all his life, Hanamichi, although infamous for being a gangsta', was surprisingly friendly. Just then, he saw the same black car playing that disgusting but hilarious-ass song parked by the tree he used to climb on to when he was a little kid, hunger forgotten and curiosity getting the better of him, he walked towards the car; as he approached it, a short, plump man with large expensive-looking bling blings that galore his body as part of his attire came out of the car. Recognition and excitement clouded the man's chinky eyes as he saw Hanamichi coming towards him, consequently eliciting a suspicious glare from the redhead who obviously failed to recognize who this strange-looking guy was.

"Ay yo! Don't you remember me?" the mysterious guy asked him.

"Um, Do I really know you?" Hanamichi told the plump guy with a hint of doubt in his voice as he peered down at him.

The guy just rolled his eyes, "Ramen guy who busts rhymes to get people to notice him and buy his product…and you seriously don't remember me? Are you on crack Sakuragi Hanamichi?!" he threw his hands in the air and sighed.

Hanamichi's face lit up, "So that's why I recall hearing that raspy voice somewhere!" a smile formed on his lips before bursting into a hearty laugh, "Well bitch, please! If it isn't my old homie Eijiro Hagiwara! Hisashiburi!" he ran up to him and gave him a huge hug.

"Aww, so you do remember! By the way, what's crackin' wit' you?" asked the guy who Hanamichi fondly calls 'Gangsta Heffa'.

"Nu-uh, I'm the one who should axe you dat! What's crackin' wit' YOU?!" the redhead said, pulling away from the 'Gangsta Heffa' in the process and pointing at his outfit, "I mean you sho' lookin' ghetto fly today!" Hanamichi said, while marveling at Eijiro's expensive bling blings that were sparkling under the bright Kanagawa sun.

Eijiro just gave him a lopsided grin, "Let's just say that I worked mah ass off to get this good shit" said he, emphasizing his clothes, jewelry and car.

Hanamichi smirked, "Secretive mofo', come on tell me! You so gangsta!" he slapped Eijiro's back making the older guy stumble forward.

"Why you be hittin' on me?! Dayum mothafucka! Come ride wit' me and I ma' tell you!" Eijiro retorted as he dragged Hanamichi inside his car.

Hanamichi laughed and went in to have a ride with the first-ever ghetto-fabulous success in his hood, eagerly anticipating to listen to his story.

"Remember back in the day, when you and your gundan used to go here and axe me for free ramen?" Eijiro asked as he faced Hanamichi. The car, which Hanamichi finally got to know as a 'Cadillac', was parked in front of the Ramen House Eijiro used to work from, but on their way here, the redhead was able to squeeze out several gen from his old friend; he found out that he was discovered by some Black guy who at that time was the co-producer of N.W.A. (N!& With Attitude), the said brotha happened to be vacationing in Japan back then and decided to drop by; little did he know that he'd get a whole helluva lot more than food as he got the first-hand experience of seeing the rapid fire spitting, rhyme busting Japanese rapper, notoriously known as Gangsta Heffa jammin' and bringin' down da house.

"Yeah, what about it?" Hanamichi asked in return as he cleared his mind of his thoughts and focused on his companion.

"Well, you and your gundan sorta reminded me of D12…" Eijiro told him in a mocking tone.

The redhead had on a "wtf?!" look on his face as he stared at Eijiro, he does know D12 and what they do, and he and the gundan certainly don't act half as crazy as them. "For real homie!" said he with obvious sarcasm in his voice. "I mean, we ain't runnin' around rapping shit about our grandmothers sucking our d!(#$ or have this disturbing habit of videotaping somebody's rape, neither do one of us wears a shower cap just like that retardo Bizarre does!"

The Gangsta Heffa guffawed, "Whoa! Homie you gotta chill, it was just a comparison between your friendship and stuff like that, nobody was sayin' you was actin' like 'em!" he told Hanamichi before laughing once more. Eijiro turned on his stereo and played D12's 'Fight Music', he was bobbing his head to the phat beat while Hanamichi listened to the lyrics:

"You know why my hands are so numb? (No)
Cuz my grandmother sucked my d!ck
And I didn't cum (Oh)
Smacked this wh0) for talking crap (biotch!)
So what if she's handicapped (What?)
The biotch said Bizarre couldn't rap
I fu(3!n' Hate You
I take your drawers down and rape you
While Dr. Dre videotapes you (Hell yeah!)"

Eijiro tried hard to stifle his laughter but to no avail as the redhead beside him turned blue, "Dayum! See what I've been talking about?!" Hanamichi said through gritted teeth, but seeing his homie who was still laughing his ass off, he couldn't help but laugh along himself.

"Yo, dya have a single comin' out?" the redhead asked out of curiosity, Eijiro grinned, "Not yet, prolly next year, I'm still workin' on da album, but expect the first single early next year…yeah."

"Do you have any hardships to go through?" Hanamichi queried once again, but his homie just laughed, "Aight, so you's gon' be workin' fo' da paper someday? Yeah, so anyways, it is friggin' hard, I mean, busting rhymes isn't enough, ya still have to find the right peeps to work with, deal wit' them haters, and ya' need to stand out so you'll get people interested in you, you know what I'm sayin'? Ya just need to have all those elements and you'll be fine." He said.

Hanamichi Sakuragi could only gawk in response.

"And you gotta haf talent, ya heard?!"

The two guys decided to fetch the gundan and along the way to their houses, Eijiro almost ran over an 80-year old granny mama, "Watch where you're driving at, idiot!" she shouted, her toothless gums banging and spit coming out as she spoke, then went away muttering a fairly audible "Kids these days!" or something to that effect.

"Old people these days!" the redhead told his companion, almost whining.

"Let her be, I mean she be a granny mama and I got love for my granny mamas so I'll let it pass."

"Aight, let's hit it!"

The Cadillac stopped in front of Mito Yohei's house, and to their surprise, they found the gundan gathered outside as if expecting their arrival.

"About time…" said Mito, Hanamichi's best bud.

"…for lunch." Takamiya, the chubby one who looks a lot like Eijiro except that he ain't fly, added with glee.

"Bitch please, don't tell me ya'lls was stalkin' us?!" Hanamichi bellowed as he stepped out of the car.

"Bitch please, to you too Hanamichi! You know we ain't stalkin' no red-ass of yours! Ookusu barked.

The redhead made his way in front of Ookusu with the intention of giving him a headbutt when Eijiro went out of the car just in time, "Oh no he didn't…" was all he could say as the redhead headbutted his friend, apparently unaffected by his presence.

But that did not matter now, for the gundan averted their attention from a fuming Hanamichi to a supa dupa fly Eijiro.

"Jenga bitch! Is that the heffa??" they chorused, startled.

"The Gangsta Heffa! And don't you mothafuckas be stressin' him, ya heard?! The redhead warned.

Eijiro chuckled to himself, "I'm going to have fun, alright." Thought he, upon witnessing the comedic scene laid before him: Sakuragi Hanamichi, tall and tanned, threatening four other guys with his fist as the latter were cowering with fear. He just shook his head, suddenly remembering his days in the hood before he left, "Some things never change."

"Hold up! I ain't got issues wit' anyone, so chill." He remarked, much to the gundan's relief.

"Aight, I just wanted to know what the fizzuck is up with you guys coming on here without me knowing? Is something brewing behind my back? Tell me!" Hanamichi said, shooting deadly glares at his gundan.

"Damn it, fitteeay cent!!!!!!!!" Mito said, frustrated at the behaviour of his friend.

"Hot shit my brotha!!! Hot shit fitteeay cent!!!!!!!" the redhead retorted, "Now tell me."

"Fo' shizzle my bizzle, we ain't hiding anythang from you, in fact, we was planning to go to your place!" Mito explained.

"Oh fo' sho!" the rest of the gundan yelled.

Eijiro could only watch in amusement.

"So, how's it feel to be ridin' the ultimate pimp car?" Eijiro cheekily axed the peeps inside his Cadillac, who were still having a hard time keeping their mouths from dropping in awe at the grandeur they are seeing.

"This be the shiznit." They said seriously, their facial expression and tone indicating that they are 'hell yeah!' serious.

The Gangsta Heffa promised to treat them in a smorgasbord restaurant if they would ride with him for a while, a sure as hell mouthwatering offer that no ghetto kids with less money than anyone outside the hood could resist, imagine, getting to ride a first-class ghettolicious car and after which, getting to satisfy them bottomless pits they call their stomachs through indulging theirselves in a buffet, chomp till you drop fat, now just how cool is that?

"Someday one or all of y'all's gon make it big, maybe not conventionally successful, but definitely ghetto fabulous."

They traveled the whole of Kanagawa like tourists coming on there for the first time, they passed by a bunch of brothas and sistahs making their living, movin' muscles when Eijiro reminisced that not long ago he was one of them, "I got love for these people…" he thought, oblivious to his companions inside the car who were sticking out there tongues and making faces at the passerby's, "Oh lookie! We in tha car fo' da p-i-m-p!" they hollered in a sing-song voice and horselaughed at them. Finally snapping back to reality, Eijiro sees this and a big sweatdrop formed at the back of his head, "Now, now, that ain't the way to treat them brothas and sistahs, love for the peeps y'all! Gotta have love!" he preached to them like they was in a black church. "Sheesh." Then he returned his attention back to his driving.

With hunger coming on them like the plague, it was just magnanimous of Eijiro to finally take them to the promised smorgasbord restaurant, an act of gallantry greatly appreciated by Hanamichi and his gundan.

"Told y'all they wuz in time for lunch. Woot." Takamiya chirped.

And faster than Juanita Barber could say, 'I'm axin you! Wha bou' duh chill'run?' they all sprinted towards the entrance.

"Man I think I'm going to explode!" Takamiya said while rubbing his stomach with his two hands.

They played Jenga with the chicken bones for they were too stuffed to make any movement that requires more action.

"We's betta get goin' cuz it's gettin' dark outside and shit." Noma reminded them.

It was about 7 o'clock when they left, and despite the fact that they just committed the sin of gluttony, Hanamichi and the gundan still insisted on buying ice cream: "For dessert!" they say.

"Dayum, y'alls ain't heffaz no mo y'alls are a bunch of fn' Shaquille O'Neal's!!!" said a knocked fo six Eijiro.

After dropping by the ice cream parlor, they were in the Cadillac once again, this time listening to Ciara singing about her "Goodies".

"Dayum, girlfriend CAN'T sang! Nice t!$ though." remarked Ookusu.

"How could you say that? Bitch can sang, she has the saxxiest voice I tell ya'!" argued his redheaded friend who happens to be in lurve with Ciara, 'cuz Ciara is teh Hawt3st!!!!111'.

The rest smelled the stench of altercation coming towards them and before one of the two firebrands could utter another word, Eijiro quickly changed Ciara to someone he knew they both loved- Lauryn Hill.

"Now baby, that's what I've been talking about." Both said at the same time.

Since his house was on the farthest side of the Kanagawa projects, Hanamichi was last to leave Eijiro's car, before getting out, he faced the heffa once more and opened his mouth as if to say something.

"Uh, uhm, uh, thank you…?" said he in a hesitating manner as if a simple 'thanks' is more painful than cutting his wrists.

"Sho' nuff, I know ya was gon say dat, you're welcome anyways." replied his friend.

Hanamichi scratched the back of his neck and it occurred to Eijiro that his friend needed to tell him something.

"Aight, shoot."

"Well uh, what is it that you do… you know, to forget all about that sh!t you've gone through and forget all 'bout them haters who ain't got nothin good to say bout you?" Hanamichi sighed, finally axing him what he always wanted to axe.

"I just let it roll of my back." Eijiro shrugged.

"Yeah, but how?" the redhead asked again, apparently not satisfied with his friend's answer.

"Aight, I know what you mean, see here I've got an advice for you, no matter how many people say you suck or you ain't got a d!ck or stuff like that, always remember you always have your self to agree with you, I mean, confidence-yeah, that's it! Its confidence and always stay focused on your goal, don't let them beat the sh!t out of you or degrade you, just tell yourself that you're one phat-ass mofo and the rest comes after, you know what I'm sayin? Yeah, don't listen to your critics cuz they don't even criticize themselves and therefore, bogus. Believe in your capabilities and show them haters just what that a$s is made of!" Eijiro gave Hanamichi a playful slap on his back.

"Whoa…" was Hanamichi's intelligent reply.

"Yeah, you need to think of something to make you think you'd always have it your way, something that'd remind you that you're always on top of things…a comfort zone."

Hanamichi nodded his head slowly and stepped out of the car, he gazed up at the stars, his thoughts filled with everything his friend just said. As he began to walk towards the door of his home, the same raspy voice he's so familiar with, called his name.

The redhead looked back and raised his eyebrows.

"Think about it."

Then the Cadillac he was so pleased with sped off into the night, taking with it a friend he respected the most.

Author's gibbersh!t:

First off, I just wanted to let y'all know that "Fight Music" is from D12's old album called "Devil's Day" and 'Eijiro Hagiwara' is just a made-up character…yeah. So there you have it, the first chapter of my very first fic (please keep it gentle on the reviews, will ya? :- ), the rest of the SD characters shall appear in the next chapter. Sho' nuff.

I'm sorry if there's been a fanfic with a similar plot to mine, promise I didn't mean to! Please read & review. TIA!

So me go so then.