AN: Bwahaha, it's an update! Surprised? This chapter's probably going to be shorter than the first one, just so you know.

Warning: I have no idea where I'm going with this. Oh yeah, there's SasuNaru.

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine, and neither is Sleeping Beauty.

Dedicated to: Students, because school is not a joyous event. (I don't want to go back.)

The Hideous Insomniac: A Sleeping Beauty Parody

"Naruto, you're too troublesome."

"Whatever."

"You know, I'm going to start charging you for this," The lazy chuunin sighed and continued tweezing the slivers from Naruto's hands. After a quick search of Naruto's usual haunts, he found the blond sleeping in a tree near the site where he had officially become a genin. Naruto had actually managed to get away from the mass of fangirls, but not without sustaining some injury. "With your boasts, I figured you'd have been able to manage just fine on your own."

"Shut up, Shikama – Ouch!" Naruto pulled his hand away from his friend's grip and nursed it to his chest. "Be a little gentler, will you?!" The shorter boy glared pitifully. His face was swollen from the numerous slaps and whacks from heavy blunt objects he'd received from the irate Sasuke-followers, and his clothes were torn in several places from running through the thick undergrowth of the forest. There were even a few branches stuck in his now lustreless hair.

The genius rolled his eyes and proceeded to ignore the blond's comment.

Naruto cursed as he dropped his key again. The bandages around his fingers were making it hard to bend them, and his eyes were squinted from his puffy cheeks. He bent down and fumbled around to find the metal piece in the dark hallway. "Agh, damn Shikamaru and his stupid bandaging skills!"

"Oi, Naruto."

"The next time he gets injured, I'll make sure I --" Naruto let out a yipping noise and stood up quickly, spinning to face his attacker. He had made sure there weren't any crazy girls in the vicinity before he came in! Who was there?! The person stepped forward, into the thin strip of moonlight from one of the windows, and revealed himself. "What the, Sasuke?! What are you --" A hand clamped over his mouth, preventing any further cries of surprise from escaping.

"Shut up, dumbass. They might hear you."

Naruto ripped the hand away from his face and hissed indignantly, "Don't tell me what to do!"

"Whatever, just open the door and let me in."

"No! Why should I?!"

The dark-haired boy said nothing and, using his awesome Sharingan abilities, located the key and picked it up. He brushed past Naruto and opened the door, stepping inside quickly. "Sorry for the intrusion," he added as an afterthought.

"You bastard, you're not supposed to say that after you --"

"Coming in or not?" Sasuke walked deeper into his home, not waiting for him at all.

Blue eyes flashed angrily as Naruto stormed into his apartment and launched himself at his unwelcome guest. Unfortunately, he stepped on a scroll he had left lying around and fell on his back, winded. Unhappy yelling could be heard from the apartment under his, and he winced as he thought of the earful he would be hearing from the manager tomorrow about keeping the noise level down for the other tenants.

Sasuke sat down at the kitchen table, watching as the other boy sat up to catch his breath. The Uchiha surveyed his surroundings and found a few things that made him almost gape in disgust. The milk carton on the table had an expiry date for two weeks ago, the dishes in the sink (mainly utensils) were caked in hardened food residue, the wall paper on one side of the room was peeling and giving off a rather obnoxious odour, and -- was that mould growing on the package of instant ramen?! He slowly scrapped his chair away from the toxic food products and tried not to breathe in too much.

If it had been his choice, he would've never set foot in Naruto's apartment. However, since he had been bombarded by questions from various girls (and a few boys) on the street about his thoughts on who the real princess should've been, while avoiding the group of more violent girls who wanted to convince him themselves, he grew desperate for some peace and quiet, and where better to go than his self-appointed rival's home? As he expected, no one bothered to look for him there.

"So care to tell me why you're here, Sasuke-bastard?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head and he closed the door. He figured something was up, because Sasuke would've never come to him otherwise, and frankly, he just wasn't up to arguing with his teammate.

...Shikamaru's rubbing off on me more than I thought.

Sasuke was now sitting beside the open window. It was partly to keep up his cool image, but mainly it was to get some fresh air. He had just finished relating his day to Naruto, who was now saying how he shouldn't complain because it was nothing compared to how his day went. Sasuke stopped his host mid-rant as he flew out of his chair and ducked under the window. Naruto raised an eyebrow and walked over to see what had spooked the other so, but saw nothing too suspicious. Just a pair of girls walking in the street.

"What's wrong with you?"

"..."

Voices drifted in from outside. "Have you found him yet?"

"No."

"Okay, you look there, I'll look in here."

"I'm worried! He's not at home at this time of night!" At this point, Naruto stuck his head out and screamed at them.

"And what about you two? You're not home, either!"

"Shut up, Naruto!"

"Yeah, we'll deal with you later!"

And with that, the two left in a huff.

Naruto looked at Sasuke, intensely contemplating something for a moment, before he sighed. "You wanted to hide-out at my place?" There was no reply. "I don't really care, as long as you don't eat my food."

I'd rather jump off a cliff than touch your food, because it'd probably be faster than waiting for that poison to kill me, Sasuke thought humourlessly.

"And stop acting like such a jerk! If you're looking for help, at least pretend like you're being friendly. Honestly, what do those girls see in you anyway? No manners whatsoever."

"Like you can talk about manners," Sasuke said offhandedly.

"Why you --!"

"Naruto!" A booming voice came from the hallway. "I've received several complaints already this month. Now either stop making noise, or leave!"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it! Sorry!" Naruto glared at him. "Look, you got me in trouble."

"How is it my fault exactly?"

"Your attitude, for one thing! You know what, forget it. I'll yell at you in the morning." Not bothering to change into his pyjamas, he flopped onto his bed. Calling from his room, he said, "There's a blanket in the closet somewhere. Use it if you want."

Sasuke opened the only closet and immediately closed it before anything could fall out. He would have to make do without a blanket, not that he wasn't used to it already. All the training with Kakashi for the chuunin exam prepared him enough. He lay down on the couch, head away from the stain on the armrest, and closed his eyes.

The next month was going to be hellish.

TBC

AN: Pretty short chapter, but I knew if I was going to get into the practice session, I'd never get this out before 2005. Thanks to everyone who has been waiting patiently for this. Wow, over a year for an update. I am so slow.

Please leave a comment! I want to know if anyone is still reading this, and whether or not I should continue. Thanks again!