Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate.
Liss: Well, I only got two reviews. THANK YOU, to Freakazoid and Jade Panther, you are awesome. Unlike some OTHER people I won't mention...*cough all you people cough* So, this chapter is therefore dedicated to you guys! Betcha you're happy now! Hee hee...
Anywayz, let's get started. I did take in mind your suggestions, and I have a few ideas of my own to add, too...
~*~*~*~*~*
Jack O'Neill sat in the corner of the ring. He had a towel draped around his shoulders and neck, and a water bottle clutched in his hand.
"Jack, fighting is not the answer. Don't do this!" The voice of reason said.
"Daniel, will you just shut-Hey, aren't you supposed to be off on another planet or something?" Jack asked, squinting up at him. Daniel paused.
"Uh...um...that's not the point. Fighting is bad and never solves anything! You can't just expect that everything will work out from punching someone in the face!" he said.
"Hey Geek-face! I'm gonna whoop your ass!" the Geek-faced double shouted. Daniel turned around slowly, shocked. "I am not a geek!" he exclaimed, pushing up the bridge of his glasses. "Then again, Jack, there is a time to punch someone..." he started towards his double but Jack pulled him back.
"Wait your turn!"
"Hey, aren't *you* supposed to be dead, too?" the copy O'Neill asked. The robot Daniel stared at him for a second. Then his eyes moved to some far- off place.
"Malfunction. Malfunction. System failure. Automatic shut down," he said in as low a voice he could muster. Unfortunately, since this is Daniel, his low voice was a high tenor. Robot Jack stared at him and slowly turned away.
"Ok, men, take your places!" the big voice boomed throughout the stadium. Jack and Jack stood up and prepared to bash each other's head in.
"Heh heh heh!" a nasally voice cackled from outside of the ring. Jack and Jack looked down to see a man with a huge wad of bills in his hand, sitting with his feet on top of a desk, clearly enjoying his relaxation. Every now and then he would lick his finger and count every separate hundred. He let out a nasally laugh every time he licked his finger.
"Ferretti?"
He looked up. His smile faded as he stared between the two. "Uh...sir? -- s? Sirs?" They stared at him. "What? Can't I make a buck on the side?" he asked them innocently. They both rolled their eyes.
DING!
The bell rang. They didn't have time to reprimand Ferretti. They looked at each other and started circling each other.
"You know, you can't win," the original said. "And why is that?" "Because I'm pure. All man. And nothing beats that," he taunted, showing off his body with his hands like Vanna White. He leaped forward but the robot dodged away at the last second.
"I don't think so. I'm better!" "And what is that supposed to mean?" "It means I'm stronger, faster, bet-ter," he said, practically spelling out the last word. "And I have good hair," he added haughtily, flipping it out of his eyes.
"And what the hell is that?" the original asked, offended. "Well, for one, I actually *have* hair. And, it's brown, not white," he smiled. "Oh that's it!" Jack flung himself upon his smiling double and started beating the crap out of him.
"No one disses my hair! NO ONE!" He sat on his double's torso, pinning him down to the ground. Finally the robot managed to fling his legs back and lock onto the original. He swung his legs back, taking the original with them. O'Neill went flying backwards and hit the bungy-like side. As a result he flung back and knocked his robot twin on the floor.
"Uh..." the robot groaned. Jack stood up for a second to wave at the cheering audience. But only half of the audience was cheering. The other half, made up of robots and even a few replicators were booing him. He squinted and thought he could even see C3PO and R2D2.
"Oh my, R2, you are quite right. He seems to have thought himself king."
"BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP-BEEP!" (translation: when will it end? WHEN?! Why can't he just leave me alone?!)
Robot Jack swung his leg out, knocking out the original's feet, making him fall to the floor, too. They both grabbed onto each other and grappled.
"Remember, there are no rules!" the loud voice shouted.
"Good!"
They bit, clawed, spat, and even flicked each other until they had to stop for air. Two seconds later they resumed their fight. At that moment, Harlan appeared at the edge of the ring.
"Please, colonels! Don't fight! Violence solves nothing!" he pleaded.
"Who the hell are you? Daniel?" The original asked, wincing as his double choked him.
"Please just stop! You don't have to do this!" They both paused. "Yes we do! Now stay out of it!" They went back to their fighting. Harlan sighed.
"Hey Harlan, you look like a nice kinda guy. How about we make a little wager?" Ferretti asked, putting his arm around Harlan's shoulder and smiling an evil fox grin.
"Well, I---" "Excellent! How about we start at two hundred?" As Ferretti led him into the bet, the original Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c watched nervously from the sidelines.
"What should we do?" Sam asked.
"How about we help Jack?" Daniel asked, starting to take off his glasses.
"I do not believe that is wise, DanielJackson. I believe we should stay where we currently are," Teal'c said, staring at the two colonels.
Jack flipped his robot duplicate over and he landed with a thud on the floor. He bent down, his grin spreading from ear to ear. "Had enough?"
The robot groaned. Jack smiled even wider and began to stand up. For the second time that day the robot swung out his leg and tripped the original. They both lay down, groaning and moaning.
"Well, looks as if we have a tie! We'll finish this later," the big voice boomed, sounding a little disappointed. Sam and Sam went to the ring and dragged off Jack and Jack. Teal'c and Teal'c helped prop up Jack and Jack while Daniel and Daniel hovered worriedly over them.
"Next up we have Daniel and Daniel! Are you two geek-faces ready?" the voice sneered.
"Hey! We're not geek-faces!" they replied angrily, taking off their glasses and blowing their noses. It was quiet. Daniel and Daniel looked up to find the whole stadium staring at them.
"What? I have allergies!"
"Geek!" everyone coughed into their hand and turned away.
~*~*~*~*~*
Liss: Ok, I'll admit it wasn't my best, but I just want to get it out. I'm outta ideas for the next one. A little help? Lol you know where to find me!
I
I
I
V
Liss: Well, I only got two reviews. THANK YOU, to Freakazoid and Jade Panther, you are awesome. Unlike some OTHER people I won't mention...*cough all you people cough* So, this chapter is therefore dedicated to you guys! Betcha you're happy now! Hee hee...
Anywayz, let's get started. I did take in mind your suggestions, and I have a few ideas of my own to add, too...
~*~*~*~*~*
Jack O'Neill sat in the corner of the ring. He had a towel draped around his shoulders and neck, and a water bottle clutched in his hand.
"Jack, fighting is not the answer. Don't do this!" The voice of reason said.
"Daniel, will you just shut-Hey, aren't you supposed to be off on another planet or something?" Jack asked, squinting up at him. Daniel paused.
"Uh...um...that's not the point. Fighting is bad and never solves anything! You can't just expect that everything will work out from punching someone in the face!" he said.
"Hey Geek-face! I'm gonna whoop your ass!" the Geek-faced double shouted. Daniel turned around slowly, shocked. "I am not a geek!" he exclaimed, pushing up the bridge of his glasses. "Then again, Jack, there is a time to punch someone..." he started towards his double but Jack pulled him back.
"Wait your turn!"
"Hey, aren't *you* supposed to be dead, too?" the copy O'Neill asked. The robot Daniel stared at him for a second. Then his eyes moved to some far- off place.
"Malfunction. Malfunction. System failure. Automatic shut down," he said in as low a voice he could muster. Unfortunately, since this is Daniel, his low voice was a high tenor. Robot Jack stared at him and slowly turned away.
"Ok, men, take your places!" the big voice boomed throughout the stadium. Jack and Jack stood up and prepared to bash each other's head in.
"Heh heh heh!" a nasally voice cackled from outside of the ring. Jack and Jack looked down to see a man with a huge wad of bills in his hand, sitting with his feet on top of a desk, clearly enjoying his relaxation. Every now and then he would lick his finger and count every separate hundred. He let out a nasally laugh every time he licked his finger.
"Ferretti?"
He looked up. His smile faded as he stared between the two. "Uh...sir? -- s? Sirs?" They stared at him. "What? Can't I make a buck on the side?" he asked them innocently. They both rolled their eyes.
DING!
The bell rang. They didn't have time to reprimand Ferretti. They looked at each other and started circling each other.
"You know, you can't win," the original said. "And why is that?" "Because I'm pure. All man. And nothing beats that," he taunted, showing off his body with his hands like Vanna White. He leaped forward but the robot dodged away at the last second.
"I don't think so. I'm better!" "And what is that supposed to mean?" "It means I'm stronger, faster, bet-ter," he said, practically spelling out the last word. "And I have good hair," he added haughtily, flipping it out of his eyes.
"And what the hell is that?" the original asked, offended. "Well, for one, I actually *have* hair. And, it's brown, not white," he smiled. "Oh that's it!" Jack flung himself upon his smiling double and started beating the crap out of him.
"No one disses my hair! NO ONE!" He sat on his double's torso, pinning him down to the ground. Finally the robot managed to fling his legs back and lock onto the original. He swung his legs back, taking the original with them. O'Neill went flying backwards and hit the bungy-like side. As a result he flung back and knocked his robot twin on the floor.
"Uh..." the robot groaned. Jack stood up for a second to wave at the cheering audience. But only half of the audience was cheering. The other half, made up of robots and even a few replicators were booing him. He squinted and thought he could even see C3PO and R2D2.
"Oh my, R2, you are quite right. He seems to have thought himself king."
"BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP-BEEP!" (translation: when will it end? WHEN?! Why can't he just leave me alone?!)
Robot Jack swung his leg out, knocking out the original's feet, making him fall to the floor, too. They both grabbed onto each other and grappled.
"Remember, there are no rules!" the loud voice shouted.
"Good!"
They bit, clawed, spat, and even flicked each other until they had to stop for air. Two seconds later they resumed their fight. At that moment, Harlan appeared at the edge of the ring.
"Please, colonels! Don't fight! Violence solves nothing!" he pleaded.
"Who the hell are you? Daniel?" The original asked, wincing as his double choked him.
"Please just stop! You don't have to do this!" They both paused. "Yes we do! Now stay out of it!" They went back to their fighting. Harlan sighed.
"Hey Harlan, you look like a nice kinda guy. How about we make a little wager?" Ferretti asked, putting his arm around Harlan's shoulder and smiling an evil fox grin.
"Well, I---" "Excellent! How about we start at two hundred?" As Ferretti led him into the bet, the original Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c watched nervously from the sidelines.
"What should we do?" Sam asked.
"How about we help Jack?" Daniel asked, starting to take off his glasses.
"I do not believe that is wise, DanielJackson. I believe we should stay where we currently are," Teal'c said, staring at the two colonels.
Jack flipped his robot duplicate over and he landed with a thud on the floor. He bent down, his grin spreading from ear to ear. "Had enough?"
The robot groaned. Jack smiled even wider and began to stand up. For the second time that day the robot swung out his leg and tripped the original. They both lay down, groaning and moaning.
"Well, looks as if we have a tie! We'll finish this later," the big voice boomed, sounding a little disappointed. Sam and Sam went to the ring and dragged off Jack and Jack. Teal'c and Teal'c helped prop up Jack and Jack while Daniel and Daniel hovered worriedly over them.
"Next up we have Daniel and Daniel! Are you two geek-faces ready?" the voice sneered.
"Hey! We're not geek-faces!" they replied angrily, taking off their glasses and blowing their noses. It was quiet. Daniel and Daniel looked up to find the whole stadium staring at them.
"What? I have allergies!"
"Geek!" everyone coughed into their hand and turned away.
~*~*~*~*~*
Liss: Ok, I'll admit it wasn't my best, but I just want to get it out. I'm outta ideas for the next one. A little help? Lol you know where to find me!
I
I
I
V