Emily felt her mind regressing, she was sat at her desk in the BAU, attempting to finish up some paperwork after a particularly long and gruelling day. She chewed down on her lower lip anxiously, it was a nervous habit that was frowned upon by her partner. She didn't know how long she had been sat there, head in her hands, mind to blurry to focus on her work. She only rose her head when a familiar metal tang hit her tongue, she had chewed on her lip so long that she had drawn blood. This prompted her to glance at the clock, it was late, most people had gone home a while ago, her team mates however had been there longer as they hadn't got back from a case until late and they all decided they might as well get started on the paperwork as there was a lot to go through after that case in particular. But even some of them seemed to have left, Morgan, Garcia and Rossi were no where to be seen and Reid was putting his things into his bag seemingly to go home. Her suspicions were right when Reid stood up and gave her a tired wave goodbye, she gave a half-hearted attempt to return the wave, before letting out a sigh and letting her head drop back into her hands in an attempt to continue on the paperwork she had only been staring at for the last, who knows how long. This was in vain though, as her mind was just too foggy for her to think clearly, a sure sign that she was regressing. The brunette was back to chewing at her lip, as well as fidgeting anxiously in her seat. She started at the blank form only a moment longer before letting out another exasperated sigh, this was pointless, she wasn't going to get anything gone at this point and she was regressing to quickly to stay at the BAU. Getting to her feet shakily, Emily threw a few things into her bag and made her way towards a familiar office, she knocked lightly on the door, waiting for the response before letting herself in and closing the door quietly behind her,
"Hey baby, are you alright?" JJ asked her girlfriend. She was also still at the BAU, it was normal for her to be one of the last ones there, the only one staying longer being Hotch.
"Hmm, just tired. I was wondering if you were close to finishing up." Prentiss said, dropping into an empty seat in front of her girlfriend's desk and rubbing tiredly at her face. JJ took a moment to observe her girlfriend, it was clear to her that the brunette was showing obvious signs of regressing, even if she wouldn't admit it. It was something the two of them were trying to work on, even though JJ was good at spotting when Emily was feeling smaller, she would still like it if her girlfriend was able to communicate that with her. Jennifer spotted the blood on her lower lip and sighed gently, it was a habit she was trying to get her girlfriend to break but it was an uphill battle, there was no way her girlfriend was let herself slip completely while still at the BAU and even though the blonde still had some work to do, she figured it could wait till tomorrow she needed to get her girlfriend home now.
"Yeah, I'm done baby, let's go home huh?" the blonde spoke softly,
"Please," was the brunette's only response as she stood and watched as her girlfriend chucked a couple of things in her bag, grabbed her coat, and then reached for her hand.
"Let's go baby," JJ said tugging the woman out of her office and towards the elevators.
They stopped in front of the blonde's car. They had driven separately to work this morning, not knowing whether they would be able to go home at the same time, but it was clear to the both of them that Emily was in no condition to drive, so they'd leave her car there and she'd pick it up tomorrow. Prentiss made to get into the passenger's side when a pale arm reached out to block her from getting in. She turned and gave the blonde a questioning look. In response JJ opened the back door of the car,
"Sit back here baby," she said gently
"I'm not little!" Emily's response came immediately, slight anger evident in her voice. They both knew it was a lie, that she was on the verge, and it was tiredness and some denial and embarrassment that was causing her to protest.
"Come on love bug, get in the back for me," she patted the seat softly, "I'll buckle you in." Part of Emily wanted to put up more of a fight, but at the use of the nickname and the idea of JJ taking some of the control for her, even in the form of being buckled in overwhelmed that urge to fight. She let JJ help her into the car and settled back as the blonde grabbed the belt and reached over to buckle her in. Before she climbed out the blonde pecked Emily on the nose causing her to laugh quietly,
"I'm not little though," Emily said much quieter than before, not wanting to cause an argument but not quite ready to give in yet. JJ merely nodded and climbed out, shutting the door gently and making her way round to the drivers seat,
"We'll be home soon my love, just relax." She glanced into the mirror and saw the brunette playing with her hands anxiously and resume biting her lip, she sighed. She wished her girlfriend wouldn't try to prevent her regression, it just hurt her. Still, she understood, her girlfriend was still kind of embarrassed about it all and she felt like she was being a burden, although the blonde had reassured her countless times that she wasn't. Deciding against saying anything for the moment, she pulled out of the parking lot and headed for home.
The blonde pulled into the driveway of the small home she shared with her girlfriend fifteen minutes later. She parked the car and quickly jumped out the car to help her girlfriend get out, when she opened the door, she saw her girlfriend becoming rapidly frustrated as she struggled to unbuckle herself.
"Hey baby, let me help you with that." Emily looked up and nodded, she wanted to prove she was a big girl and could do it herself, but it was just so hard right now. She stood staring at her feet once JJ and got her out the car while the blonde grabbed their bags and locked the car. A hand reached out towards hers, "Come on love bug, lets go." Instantly the brunette latched onto the paler hand and let herself be led into their home. Once inside, JJ dropped their bags at the front door and took of her shoes before helping the brunette take of her own, "I bet these clothes aren't comfy baby, do you want to get changed?" she asked kindly, the brunette nodded in response, "Do you need me to help you?" JJ asked equally as kindly as before. This time the brunette shrugged, refusing to make eye contact. "Come on, I'll help you," the blonde grabbed a hold of the other agent's shoulders and guided her into the master bedroom. She sat the brunette down on the bed and went to her closet. She rifled through the items of clothing quickly before settling on some particularly cosy pyjamas. They were pale pink and were covered in mini rainbows, they were a favourite of her girlfriends when she was regressing and even though she was still denying it, the blonde knew that she wasn't going to say no to these. "Here we go baby," she laid the pyjamas down on the bed net to the brunette, "Do you need protection love bug?"
"No!" The dark-haired agent shook her head aggressively. She didn't need that she wasn't little!
"Are you sure my love, you know I don't mind. I just don't want you to have to worry about any accidents." The blonde's voice was soft and full of love.
"I don't need it," Emily whined, she cringed at her own voice. Only babies whined and she definitely wasn't a baby.
"Okay honey, if, you're sure. Just make sure you tell me when you need to go." The blonde told her. Prentiss flushed bright red but nodded. Anything to not have to wear protection. She didn't have long to be embarrassed over it though, cause the other agent was already telling her to lift up her arms and pulling the jumper over her head, her bra was switched with a comfy sports bra and then the fluffy pyjama shirt was pulled over her head and some pants were promptly switched with the matching pyjama ones. Emily couldn't help but grin down at her clothes, she really did love these pyjamas. The blonde caught her grin and smiled to, "You look so pretty love bug," she told her,
"Thank you, m- Jayj" The blonde caught the slip but didn't comment on it, not wanting to upset her baby,
"Those are beautiful manners love bug, well done" she praised gently. Emily's grin became so big that her face looked like it was going to split in two. She loved it when her Mama, no JJ, praised her. She let herself be pulled to her feet and taken into their living room, she was pushed gently down onto the couch and a soft blanket was given to her, "I'm going to put a movie on and get you a cup of water and I need you to sit here and be good while I get changed and make us dinner, okay?" The brunette nodded, she could do that she could be good and watch a movie quietly. "Good girl". The blonde ran her hand through the dark hair for a minute before reaching for the remote, "Anything you particularly want to watch hun?" When Emily just shrugged, JJ scrolled through some Disney movies before deciding in Tangled. She pressed play and got up to grab her girl some water. "Be good." She said softly before placing a kiss in the dark hair and heading in the bedroom to get changed herself. The brunette didn't respond already absorbed in the movie.
It was about forty-five minutes later when JJ emerged from the kitchen, dinner in hand. "Here you go baby," she said softly passing the plate towards her girlfriend,
"thank you," Emily responded sweetly, slowly emerging from the blanket she was buried under and reaching for the plate that was being held out towards her,
"Are you enjoying the movie sweetheart?" the blonde asked,
"Hmm," Emily hummed her response, not really feeling up for talking. JJ nodded and turned to eat her dinner, she knew the brunette would struggle but she was also stubborn and wouldn't ask for help until she had failed a few times, it would only upset her baby to ask if she needed help before she even attempted to eat by herself, so JJ decided it was the perfect opportunity to eat herself before her dinner went cold. The blonde agent was about halfway through her meal when she heard a whine coming from next to her, her girlfriend had managed to get food all over her face and was holding her fork at an extremely odd angle, it took all of her power not to laugh at how cute she was, but knowing that would not be appreciated she asked her girlfriend gently,
"Baby do you need some help?" The brunette's head snapped up at the words and she seemed to contemplate them for a moment before shaking her head. No, she could do this, she was a big girl, and she would prove to JJ that she could do this, eat by herself, and make her partner proud of her. "Alright love bug, but if you change you mind, don't hesitate to ask, okay." The brunette nodded and a look of extreme focus appeared on her face as she went back to eating.
When JJ was done eating, she stood up to bring her plate to the kitchen. As soon as she was gone the brunette let the tears fall, she couldn't do it, she felt so stupid and pathetic. She was a grown woman who couldn't feed herself, the day had been long and gruelling and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stay big, and it was all too much, and it was all so overwhelming, and she just wanted her Mama! The blonde had just placed her plate next to the sink when she heard a couple of quiet sobs come from the room she had just left, she hurried back as fast she could, worried for her baby. The sight she was presented with shattered her heart. All she could see was a mess of brown hair and a plate in her girlfriend's hands as her shoulders shook with sobs and clear exhaustion written in her body language. "Love bug, its okay, I promise its okay can you look up for me please," Jennifer spoke, rushing to sit at her partner's side and remove the plate from her hands. She set in gently down on the coffee table, before taking the brunette's hands into her own. "Come on baby, look up for me and tell me what's wrong." The blonde encouraged gently. It took a couple moments, but the dark-haired agent did eventually raise her head and dark, watery eyes contacted baby blue ones. "There we go honey, well done," she praised softy, "Can you tell me what happened?"
"I… I just, it's just t-to h-hard," the brunette sobbed out, her words stuttered and broken.
"What's to hard honey?" JJ asked softly,
"Eating b-by m-myself," the other agent responded,
"Oh baby," Jen sighed gently, "Why didn't you ask for help? You know I wouldn't have minded helping honey."
"I w-wanted to p-prove I could do it myself. W-wanted to make you p-p-proud," The brunette stuttered sobbing.
"Oh, love bug, you always make me proud. You're so brave and strong, needing help sometimes doesn't mean you are any less of those things. I don't mind helping you baby, you know asking for help is just as brave as doing things yourself. It takes a great amount of courage to ask for help, when you are struggling with something," JJ told her,
"R-really?"
"Yeah baby." The brunette took a shaky breath, a couple more tears slipping from her eyes, "Come here love bug," JJ said holding out her arms to her girlfriend. Not needing to be told twice, Prentiss dove into the arms in front of her and cuddled up close to the paler woman. Her head coming to rest on her chest, the sound of the blondes heartbeat helping to soothe her.
"Mama," Emily spoke softly.
"I'm here baby, I'm not going anywhere." JJ reassured her.
"Mama," the brunette sighed out happily, finally feeling more relaxed and snuggled impossibly closer to her caregiver. The two sat like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other's company, before the blonde gently pushed the other woman away from her,
"Let me help you baby," she said reaching for the plate that had been set down on the coffee table. She brought each fork-full up with an airplane noise making her baby giggle in glee and eat the food happily, as tired as she was, Jennifer couldn't help but smile at her baby who was finally relaxed and happy. She helped her girl drink her cup of water as well, she hadn't wanted to put it in a Sippy cup earlier, as she was sure her stubborn girl would have protested but now, she was little enough to need one, but not wanting to leave the other woman, JJ chose to assist in the drinking of the water, holding the cup for her baby as she drank it slowly. "Good girl," she praised when the brunette had finished. "Thank you for eating all your food and drinking your water, I'm proud of you! The praise made the dark-haired agent blush and duck her head, but a smile was clear on her face. "Can you stay here and finish the movie, while I wash the dishes love bug?" JJ asked softly,
"Hmm," the agent hummed her answer, she could do that.
"Okay baby, call me if you need anything." The shorter woman placed a kiss on the brunette's forehead and grabbed the plate and cup making her way into the kitchen.
Emily had been sitting on the couch quietly for a while when she began to squirm, her mind was foggy because she was so little, so it didn't immediately register with her what was going on. These were things JJ normally picked up on and planned accordingly for. She went back to watching the end of the movie, it was ten or so minutes later when the credits began to roll, it was only then that Emily picked up on what was really happening. She squirmed again, an uncomfortable pressure appearing in her lower abdomen she couldn't tell how urgent the situation was, but she needed to tell her Mama she promised her she would, "Mama," her voice was soft at first, "Mama!" she called louder the second time, JJ stuck her head into the room, drying her hands on a tea-towel,
"Yes baby." The brunette squirmed again, trying to work out how to phrase it,
"Bathroom mama," The blonde studied the other agent for a second, before understanding hit her,
"Do you have to use the bathroom baby?" she asked gently, the brunette nodded in response, "Okay love bug, let's go." She reached out a pale hand, letting the taller woman latch on and tugging her to her feet. The two walked into the bathroom and the blonde helped Emily by pulling her pants down to her ankles and helping her onto the toilet. JJ spun around to face the wall, giving her partner a bit more privacy until she had finished doing her business and then flushed for her and helped her wash her hands. She then went to reach for the brunette's hands to lead her back into their living room, when she noticed her girl was staring at her feet, and shifting uncomfortably on the spot, a clear, sign of anxiety with her, "Are you alright love bug?" she asked kindly, crouching down to meet the brunette's lowered gaze. When baby blue eyes met brown ones, she was shocked to see unshed tears there, "Baby?" Quickly she pulled the taller woman into her strong arms, holding her close for a second and then picked her up, carrying her back to their couch with practiced ease, she dropped them down on the seat, never realising her hold on her baby girl, "Can you be a brave girl and tell mama what's wrong?" Jen asked softly, there was a subtle nod in her shoulder, but no immediate response, "It's okay pumpkin, take your time." She could hear the brunette take a few deep breathes against her shoulder and the blonde brought up a hand to rub supportively up and down her back.
"C-can I… Can I have p-protection mama?" she asked quietly, her voice wobbly due to her cries.
"Of course, baby, is that what your upset over?" JJ asked softly,
"Don't like asking," the brunette whined gently in response,
"I know you don't love bug, but I'm so proud of you for doing so, it is a very brave, big girl thing to do," the shorter woman told her,
"Big girl?" Emily asked quietly,
"Yeah Em, you're my big brave girl." The brunette's face split into her huge grin against the blonde's shoulder, she loved the idea of being her mama's big, brave girl. When she was feeling little, all she really wanted was her mama to make decisions for her and for her to make her mama proud.
"You, my girl, are covered in food, yet somehow too managed to avoid your clothes. How do you always do that baby?" The blonde laughed slightly to herself, "Can you take a bath for me, then we can put you in protection and go to bed, its really late and I bet your tired honey." The brunette nodded in confirmation that she was tired and that she would take a bath, but there was something else she wanted,
"Mama bath with me?" she asked cutely, her hand coming up to rub at her face tiredly.
"Of course, love bug, if that what you want." JJ told her. The brunette nodded happily in agreement and held out her arms indicating she wanted to be carried to the bath. The blonde rolled her eyes in good nature and complied, lifting up the other agent and settling her on her hip, before making her way into the ensuite, where the tub resided. She sat the brunette on the counter and turned to fiddle with the taps, making sure she got the right temperature. Once she was happy with the temperature of the water, she placed the plug in and turned back around to face her baby. She walked slowly towards her, her thumb coming to rest on the cut on the brunette's lip that had been made from her chewing it so much. "I'm going to have to clean that before bed," she murmured. The other agent whined unhappily in response, "I know baby, but it needs to be cleaned, we wouldn't have this problem if you didn't chew on it," JJ told her partner.
"I d-didn't m-mean to," Prentiss stuttered, tears beginning to form in her eyes. JJ quickly realised that her girlfriend was feeling to tired and vulnerable for this conversation at the current moment and went to reassure her,
"I'm not mad baby, just worried for you, it looks like it hurts." The brunette nodded that it did hurt and leaned forward resting her head on the blonde's shoulder,
"Tired mama," she said quietly.
"I know baby, lets just take this bath and then we can go to bed." The blonde pulled away and quickly stripped her own clothes off before helping pull off her partner's before folding them neatly on the counter beside the brunette and turning the taps on the bath off. "Come on love bug," JJ said picking her up of the counter and placing her on the floor, "Let's get into the bath," she got in first herself and then held out her hand to aid her partner in getting into the tub. Once they were both in, she sat down and placed her hand on the brunette's ways to help her settle between her legs. When Emily was feeling little, their relationship was different and things like taking a bath together varied greatly. When Prentiss was in her adult mind set, other things often went down in the tub, but when she was feeling little, like at the current moment, the only focus JJ had was on getting her girl clean and ready for bed. The blonde reached for the flannel and soap and quickly washed herself down, before doing Emily, who was playing with a rubber duck. "Can you turn around for me love bug? I need to wash your face." The brunette nodded and spun around, JJ grabbed another flannel and made quick work of cleaning her baby's face, completing their wash.
Once they tub had been drained and both women had dried off, JJ reached into a draw and pulled out a pull-up for the brunette, the woman flushed bright red when she saw it, ducking her head in embarrassment, the blonde sighed this was clearly something else they had to work on, she placed the pull-up on the counter and reached her hand forward to gently lift up the taller woman's chin. "This," she indicated to the pull-up, "this is nothing to be embarrassed about baby. It's just you and me here and I don't mind what you need to do to feel safe and comfortable, I actually think it's a good idea okay, because accidents are never fun. Not that I mind if you have one. I love you baby, please trust me when I say you have nothing to be ashamed of." The brunette looked into the blue eyes and saw that her caregiver was being honest, and she nodded. She then held onto JJ's shoulders and let her pull the pull-up onto her and the pyjama pants quickly following, along with the pyjama shirt. JJ then got dressed herself and pulled out two toothbrushes, "Do you need help with this baby?" It was quiet for a moment, "I don't mind if you do."
"Yes please," the brunette's voice was small,
"Thank you for telling me baby and well done for using such good manners," the blonde praised. This had the desired effect and got the dark-haired agent to relax and let JJ take over and help her brush her teeth and help her use the bathroom again. Then the first aid kit was taken out and Prentiss was lifted back onto the counter by strong pale arms.
"No mama, going to hurt," Emily whined anxiously,
"It's only going to sting for a second hun, and then it will be all over. Can you sit still for that love bug?" JJ asked.
"Alright mama," she said quietly.
"That's my good girl," JJ praised gently, she grabbed some cleaning supplies from the kit and wiping the cut on her girl's lip down. The brunette didn't say anything but flinched when the wipe hit her and tears sprung into her eyes, "it's okay love bug, you're okay we are almost done." The brunette stayed still until it was done and whimpered when the wipe was taken away.
"You're alright love bug, I've got you." JJ pulled the brunette into her arms letting her cry silently into her shoulder, "You did so well baby, I'm so proud of you."
"I'm tired mama," Emily admitted,
"I know love bug, let's go to bed," JJ said gently, the brunette nodded into her shoulder and let the blonde pick her up and carry her into the bedroom and place her on the bed. "I'll be back in the moment let me just get ready for bed."
"Be quick mama," the brunette said getting under the covers,
"I will baby," the blonde responded. JJ then quickly went back into the bathroom and brushed her own teeth and got ready for bed. She was back in the bedroom fifteen minutes later, fluffy bear in hand. "Here you go Em," Jennifer said passing the bear over to her girl,
"Thank you, mama," she clutched the bear tightly to her chest, "Snuggles?" she whispered the question.
"Of course, love bug, come here," the pale arms stretched out wide, welcoming the dark-haired agent to cuddle up close to her, the taller woman's head rested on the blonde's chest, listening to her heartbeat to relax and settle down for the night. "You comfy baby?" JJ asked,
"Hmm," came the response from the brunette,
"Goodnight then gorgeous girl," the blonde spoke again,
"Night mama."
JJ's arms wrapped tight around her girlfriend, peace finally falling over the little family after a long, gruelling day.