"Cramping His Lifestyle"

Summary: Mattie comes home sick from school, but Harm's not sure how to help her.

Note: I feel Mattie's pain.

Disclaimer: Harm, Mac, etc. are not mine, so don't sue me because I have an imagination and too much free time.

25 March 2004

*****

"You owe me for the continuance I just gave you. Where the hell were you?" Mac yelled into her phone.

Sounding somewhat distracted, Harm said, "Mattie's sick."

"Oh." She hadn't expected that excuse.

Harm continued, "Look, I need some advice."

"I'm listening."

"Mattie's having... female problems. She threw up at school because she was in so much pain."

"Is she okay?"

"Well, she's asking for someone to give her a hysterectomy with a fork."

"Tell her it's a little premature for that," Mac responded wryly. "Do you have a heating pad?"

"Yeah, for my back..."

Mac interrupted, "She'll need that. Do you have a bottle of Aleeve?"

"I think I've got aspirin..."

"Go get some Aleeve—it's better for cramping."

Harm couldn't help smiling at the way Mac took charge of the situation and started telling him what to do. "What would I do without you?"

"Hopefully you'll never have to find out," she retorted.