Nothing Changes like Time

Chapter 9

A/N: Sam Cdn…. Well, I'm defiantly no expert on the Canadian accent being Australian and all, so I guess since there's a Canadian girl on Neighbours, and her accent is FAIRLY obvious, I kind of forgot or disregarded the American one but now I'm babbling so…and to Mollie Dollie: yeah, Joey and Pacey are together, but they hardly play an integral role in this story…Thanks also to Fi, ReRe04, keataru (how's this for a faster update?) ENJOY ALL!

Tobey stuffed his hands in his pockets and left the Ice House an hour after Jack had excused himself. He didn't really know why he had stayed, perhaps just to gather his thoughts.

Maybe he had been too hard on Gareth; maybe he had given plenty of reason to cheat. Maybe he was cold and distant…

But why didn't Gareth confront him about these problems that had, in turn destroyed a season in their lives together? If he was so unhappy in their relationship, the healthy thing to do would have been to talk about it, get things settled. Sometimes talking about things with others of objective viewpoints mended situations and states of mind, making things clearer in retrospect. But Gareth had opted for the hard route, an affair, and Tobey had every right to feel the way he did.

He opened the door, realising it was unlocked which signified Gareth's presence. He shut the door behind him, hung up his snow-tickled coat and retreated to the warm comfort and fireplace in the lounge.

Gareth came out of the kitchen with a shot of whiskey clutched in his hands. He padded over to Tobey and held it out.

"It'll warm you up," he said softly and Tobey accepted, downing it in one hit, before giving it back to Gareth. "It's really cold out now," he continued sitting down on the couch next to his husband.

Tobey nodded but still said nothing.

Gareth got up but suddenly, before Tobey could over analyse his actions, he reached out and grabbed Gareth's hand. "Wait."

Gareth turned back around and sat down next to Tobey again. He chuckled, "déjà vu."

"Oh, it wont be," Tobey whispered. "You haven't heard this one before."

Gareth arched an eyebrow and settled back into the comfy back of the couch, sensing that it was going to be a quiet discussion and there would be no raised voices or glass breaking…

"We have to go back to your parents for Christmas," Tobey said softly, looking into Gareth's dense blue eyes. He swallowed hard, "We can't not turn up, and they'll ask questions…"

Gareth nodded in agreement.

"But before you think everything's ok…" Tobey continued, as his partner fidgeted on the couch, "I'm going to tell you it's not."

Gareth ran a hand through his hair and waited.

"You broke a promise to me. You promised me, on our wedding day, that you would love me forever and that you would stay faithful to me forever, until you died," his eyes welled up and when he looked down at his hands, they were blurs through the salty water which was slowly accumulating. "And now I don't know how many other promises were broken, how much of my trust you've breached, how much of my love you've squandered…"

"Tobey—" Gareth interjected.

"Let me finish," Tobey said, rolling his eyes up to he ceiling in order to rid himself of impending tears. "But I'm prepared to forgive that, because, I don't want to lose you. I know I've played a part in what's happened, and I'm sorry for what I did to get us here. But we share so much and I can't stand the thought of wasting more time being angry and bitter and confused," he reached out and entwined their fingers, "but you need to prove to me that I can trust you again. That I won't be wasting my time giving you a second chance."

Gareth surprised Tobey by allowing the first tear of the day fall on his behalf. He scrunched up his nose and pressed his face into the couch back. A stifled sniff sounded around the room and Tobey suddenly felt the first rush of guilt that he had all winter. He found his hand resting on his husband's back and rubbed slow gentle circles.

He hadn't really considered the fact that Gareth might have been hurt as well. So, he screwed up but he had loved Tobey and inflicted pain on their relationship, he couldn't be so heartless as to abandon everything they shared, all their hopes, their aspirations. He wasn't going to leave his partner stranded, not with their house and their vows and their love.

"It's all my fault," Gareth sobbed, and brought his face up to look into Tobey's eyes. "I love you so much," he murmured, touching his partner's cheek gently with the back of his large hand. "I never meant to hurt you, this isn't your fault, its mine. I'm so stupid."

Tobey opened his mouth to say anything but couldn't think what. He just looked intensely at the love of his life and smiled.

"What?" Gareth chocked out, wiping his blazing blue eyes from the stain of tears, smiling at Tobey.

"It's nothing," Tobey said, waving away his ill-timed grin. "But Gareth, I'm not taking this chance to get hurt again. So I guess I'm giving you an ultimatum," he said, gaining strength, "you either remain faithful to me and to your promise to me, or you leave me now and live a life full of promiscuity," he shruged, "or something like hat."

Gareth closed his eyes and squeezed Tobey's hand. "You don't need to even ask," he said vehemently yet softly. "I love you—it'll never happen again."

"How long have you been home?" Doug asked as he saw Jack's shape slouched on the chair in the lounge room. He dropped Amy's things on the kitchen table and Jack glanced over at the clock and paused before answering.

"An hour and 27 minutes."

Amy waddled over to Jack and pulled on his pant leg.

"Up," she said boldly with a smile and Jack looked over a Doug, surprised.

"New word?"

Doug looked gravely in Jack's direction and started unbuttoning his shirt. "She's been saying it for a while, almost three days," he said and moved to put his shirt in the laundry. Jack glanced after him and picked Amy up.

"Hey baby doll," he said happily and bounced her on his knee, before bringing her close for a crushing hug. She gurgled something that sounded like 'daddy' and Jack kissed the end of her little nose when he heard the water running for her bath.

"Sounds like Dougie's got a treat for my princess," he slung her on his hip and went into the guest bathroom, which, in years to come would be full of makeup, hairbrushes and products. Jack mentally shivered, silently agreeing to keep her his little girl as long as possible.

Jack passed her to Doug who got on his knees to undress her.

"Where did you go?" Jack asked, crossing his arms over his chest, leaning against the doorframe.

"The Station, I needed to get some paper work done," Doug said, gently lowering the blonde angel into the warm water. He took a deep breath, "What about you?"

"I don't know—just out," came Jack's jaded reply.

"See anyone special?" Doug asked tauntingly. Amy kicked, andthe now bubbly water sprayed all over Doug's bare chest. Out of instinct, Jack passed him a hand towel so he didn't have to leave Amy unsupported in the tub. Doug took the towel in one hand and said nothing as he wiped himself down.

"Not especially."

"Meaning Tobey," Doug muttered.

"And his husband, as a matter of interest," Jack said languidly, checking out the state of his nails.

Doug turned around, about to ask a torrid of questions but stopped himself, merely nodding in acknowledgement. Jack nodded slowly in return. "I'll go make her bed ready," he said and pushed himself away from his leaning place and walked slowly down the hall.

Once Amy was asleep, Jack wandered back to his and Doug's bedroom. Doug was brushing his teeth in their ensuite and Jack ambled to his side of the double vanity, occasionally glancing at his lover, wondering what he was thinking.

Doug finished up and retreated to their bed, pulling out the book he had started at the beginning of winter, which should only have taken him three weeks to read, but it was taking months. He just felt he didn't have any energy spare to be reading. He barely managed the basics of keeping himself and his daughter alive.

He glimpsed every so often at Jack through the open door to the bathroom and sighed. He didn't want it to be like this. He had found his lover; he had found the person he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. He had sacrificed his public image to be with the man he would die for, and all of his ideals of what their life could be were falling around him in tatters. He wished he could talk to Jack about everything that was going on inside his head but he didn't want to be yelled at or dismissed any longer. But he was equally sick and tired of the silence between them that he felt even an electric saw couldn't split.

Jack switched off the lights in the bathroom and the ones in the kitchen, leaving only the hall light on, if Amy should wake, one of them could stumble down without sustaining an injury.

He closed their bedroom door and flicked the main light out before pulling back the covers and slipping into his side of the bed. Both their bedside lamps were on, but Doug put his book away and lay down, warming the mattress for the night's cold journey.

Jack and Doug lay next to each other in the darkness, not touching, not talking. It had never struck Jack how odd this was for them. Maybe it was because every night, all season he had retreated to bed angry, pissed off, annoyed at the man who seemed only interested in making their lives as complicated and as painful as possible. It hit him suddenly, as if all of their problems had melted down,in the crucible of their lives, and he realisedthat he had two strong emotion, and none of the ones he thought he had. Behind the arguments and anger and bitterness and feelings of rejection, he was sad and lonely.

Lonely, but he was lying beside someone: sad, because he loves him.

Jack couldn't remember when he and Doug had last held each other in bed, but knew it used to be all the time, every night. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time the two of them had sex and before he realised what he was doing—

"How long since we've had sex?" he asked and mentally slapped himself.

Through the darkness, he heard Doug's head shift on the pillow and could imagine the look he was getting, right down to the slightly raised top lip, subtly highlighting his hidden smirk.

"I don't keep those sorts of criminal records."

Surprisingly, Jack laughed and, sitting up, he turned his bedside light on. He looked down at Doug and smiled warmly before opening his mouth, only to be cut off.

" 'Only in Texas',"Doug said imitating his lover. Jack chuckled again and Doug smiled up at him softly. "But not anymore," he added, his eyes darting between Jack's.

Doug reached out and squeezed Jack's hand lightly. Jack slid back into bed and snuggled toward Doug, feeling his lover's arm slip around his waist, pulling him closer so they were breathing on each other's necks. Doug inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of Jack before he placed a soft kiss on the side of his lips.

"Do you love me?" Jack whispered against Doug's neck, sending chills throughout Doug's body. Doug laughed.

"Does that answer your question?"

"Not really," Jack toyed with the front of Doug's sandy coloured hair. "It just reaffirms my knowledge of where your sensitive spots are…"

"Does it really?"

Jack nodded. Doug placed two fingers under Jack's chin and lifted his face up to meet his own. "I never stopped."

A/N: well……….way too sappy? Corny? It's OK,not long to go…………

Rock on

Phoenix Firefly