Part 12: Confidantes

Damn him. Damn him for being right.

What was he waiting for? This wasn't like him - he was never indecisive. Hesitation? That didn't make sense. He didn't understand. What was wrong? What the hell was wrong with him?

With a cry of fury, Heero slammed his fist into the trunk of the tree. He gritted his teeth as skin broke and slammed the other fist into it as well. Adrenaline rushed through his system. He'd pulled his fists back in preparation for another blow when a voice sounded above him.

"If you're set on self-mutilation, could you do it somewhere else?"

Like lightening, Heero pulled his gun, aiming up into the branches of the tree above him.

There was a flash of wide, if shadowed, violet eyes before the tree was suddenly empty.

Seconds passed. Slowly, almost shaking with fury, Heero replaced his gun. His dark blue eyes gleamed as he glared up into the darkness.

"Baka!" he snarled. "I could have killed you."

Duo flashed visible again, a weak smile curving his lips.

"It may be my fate to be killed by you," he quipped. "But I figure you wouldn't have put your gun away if you were going to kill me."

"Baka," Heero repeated.

He spotted the hint of wariness in the boy's eyes, recognizing it as fading fear. That was good. If he'd scared the boy, then Duo wouldn't be doing something like that again.

"Don't take such risks," said Heero. "You're lucky you're still alive."

Duo was stretched out on his stomach on a thick limb. At Heero's words, his smile disappeared.

"I know," he said quietly. With a sigh, he buried his face in his folded arms.

"What are you doing out here?" asked Heero. "You said you were going to bed."

"No, I didn't." Duo raised his head to look down at Heero, and sighed again. "I said that was my cue to go to bed. I didn't say I was going."

He relaxed on the limb, resting his cheek against his arm as he continued to look down at the boy beneath him.

"Besides," he drawled, "I couldn't sleep."

"Why not?"

Duo's eyes widened at the question, and he let out a small, exasperated laugh. "If I knew why, then I'd be able to fix it, wouldn't I."

He smirked and shook his head, his gaze shifting over Heero's even expression.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked curiously.

For a moment Heero simply looked up at Duo with his eyes glinting in the dark. Then he smirked. "Self mutilation?"

Duo choked, staring at him in shock. "Oh-my-God! Did you just make a joke? And a good one too..."

"Arigato."

Mouth open, Duo blinked at him. "Are you okay, Heero?"

Heero smirked, enjoying the sight of Duo gaping like a fish. "Do you want something to help you sleep?" he asked.

Duo flinched, shaking his head quickly. "No. I'm fine."

He was abruptly mobile, swinging himself off the limb. He landed lightly beside Heero and shook his head at the boy. "I hate drugs."

"Even sleeping pills?" asked Heero. His brow creased as he frowned at the other boy.

"Especially those," Duo sniffed.

He made a face of distaste and turned to head back to the safe-house. Heero grabbed his wrist and he stopped, blinking back at him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Heero.

Duo looked over his shoulder in surprise. When he slowly turned to face him, confusion marred his face.

"Why do you ask?" asked Duo suspiciously.

Heero made his own expression of distaste, but forced the words out. He was tired of hesitating. This time, he'd act on his emotions.

"I..." He grimaced a little and forced himself to finish. "I'd like to know."

Duo eyed him warily, his expression guarded. After a long moment, he nodded. "Alright."

He walked back to the tree and sank slowly to the ground. Legs crossed beneath him, he leaned against the trunk. Heero followed, taking a seat beside him and turning so he could see Duo's face. hough they weren't close enough to be touching, Heero nevertheless took pleasure in their nearness - and the fact that Duo was willing to confide in him.

"This isn't pretty," Duo warned quietly.

His eyes were solemn as he took in Heero's patient expression.

"Very little is, in a war," Heero replied. "But maybe...sharing could help."

"This isn't like you."

"How much do you know about me?" Heero shot back.

Duo chuckled ruefully, not minding Heero's raised eyebrow.

"About as much as I know about Trowa," he admitted. "About as much as you know about me. But it's okay. I'm just defensive, that's all. I've never talked about this."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," said Heero.

"No," Duo sighed, "I'm making it harder with this run-around. See, I lived in a church, Maxwell Church, for two years when I was ten. I've been an orphan for as long as I can remember, so they were my family. There were about twenty kids staying there, and Father Maxwell and Sister Hellen took care of all of us. My mutation...I don't know how you found out about yours, but mine made a very...abrupt and public arrival. I just...started disappearing. I didn't know how to control it. I guess OZ got wind of it because a guy came to the church asking questions. I should have left then."

Duo sighed, glancing at Heero's solemn expression.

"Father Maxwell knew I didn't have any place to go, and when he told me he'd taken care of things, I believed him. He said he'd convinced the investigator that there were no demons staying at his church."

Duo's eyes lit up suddenly and he smiled wryly.

"What?" Heero prompted. He couldn't help but be curious about that smile.

"He never lied," said Duo. "But I think he came close when he told them that. The other church officials used to call me Maxwell's demon. I was a rotten kid."

He looked at Heero for a minute, then he sighed and his smile faded away.

"I was still scared that they'd come back, so I started sleeping in the rafters. I know it sounds strange, but there were crawl spaces and us kids used to use them when we played. I was afraid they'd come back and get me and I didn't know how to stay invisible when I was asleep. I still have trouble with it if I wake up suddenly, but I've gotten a lot better."

Duo turned his head to look out across the yard.

"They did come back while we were sleeping, but they made sure we wouldn't wake up. I guess they put something in our food, I don't know. When I woke up they'd set the church on fire. I tried to get to the others, I really did. If I hadn't hidden... If I hadn't been so far away from them..."

Heero clenched his fists as he spotted the brightness in Duo's averted eyes and heard the strain in his voice as he trailed off.

"Duo..."

"God!" Burying his face in his hands, Duo let out a shaky, muffled breath. "Do...do you have any idea what it's like to run away while everyone you love, everyone you know dies?"

He turned blurry eyes up to look at Heero.

"There were soldiers surrounding the...church. They were waiting for anyone who came out. I don't know if anyone else did. They saw me and I ran. I just ran away and left them. They died because of me."

Heero felt cornered. He didn't know what to do to help the boy hunched over beside him. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around him and make the pain go away. He did the closest thing he dared and moved an arm slowly around Duo's shoulders.

Duo looked up sharply, his wide eyes filled with unshed tears. For a moment he stared at Heero. Then he leaned over and rested his forehead against Heero's chest, letting out a long sigh when he felt arms snake around him.

They were both silent as they sat together. Nothing they might have said seemed worth breaking the comfortable silence.

Hours passed before Heero broke the stillness. He moved a hand to touch the back of Duo's neck, brushing a finger at the wisps of hair that escaped his braid.

"Let's go inside," he said quietly. "It's getting cold out here."

Duo lifted his head, blinking wide, dark eyes. "I...I don't want to be alone."

"You won't be."

.-.

Heero woke abruptly as was his habit, wide-awake in a matter of seconds. But unlike most other mornings, he didn't feel like getting up. He didn't want to move at all.

Without opening his eyes, he closed his fingers over foreign cloth, confirming his memories of the previous night. He shifted carefully and looked at the boy sleeping in his arms, as if he belonged there. And something caught his attention, on the periphery of his sight.

He stiffened and turned to look toward the living room doorway.

Wufei ignored Heero's hostile reaction, his gaze easing over Duo's face. The longhaired boy was lying on the couch, his head resting on Heero's arm.

Leaning against the doorway, Wufei slowly lifted his eyes to meet Heero's blazing gaze. He recognized the challenging claim he saw there, and it amused him. They stared at each other, yet another of those silent matches they seemed so prone toward. Then Heero tightened his grip on Duo, making the sleeping boy sigh and hide his face against Heero's neck.

Heero's eyes narrowed in reaction and he glared darker at Wufei, daring him to speak.

Wufei's gaze was locked on Duo's hand, noting how it curled, fingers clenched around a fold of Heero's green tank top. He drew in a deep, calming breath.

Straightening suddenly, Wufei met Heero's angry glare with a wide smirk. If Heero honestly couldn't see that he'd played matchmaker, then the boy was slower than he'd thought.

Wufei nodded once, then turned and went into the kitchen. Just to irritate Heero, he made sure the door shut loudly behind him.