A/N: This is the third book in my "To Dream a Dream" series. If you have not read the first two books yet, I strongly recommend you do that first. You will most likely be very confused otherwise.

Book 3: Prologue

Her feet remain firmly planted on the ground. She does not move. She rethinks that statement. She does move, but only as much as the earth does. The earth is in constant motion. It travels 18.5 miles per second. That's 5,860,800 feet every minute. But her feet remain planted in the same spot. Stuck. She simply stares down, unable to take her eyes off of the words in front of her. Her boyfriend takes her hand and squeezes. She's glad he doesn't bother talking in this moment. There's nothing to say that could make this better. She hears her name being called and turns in that direction. Her mom and dad stand on the main path, waiting for her. They're giving her time, but staying close. She sees her brother holding Dylan's hand a little ways behind them. They're all worried about her, she knows. She hasn't exactly handled this well.

Things had been going so well. She was happy. They were all happy. Sure, there were tough moments, a few rough patches, but overall things were good. Until they suddenly weren't. It all happened so fast and she just…..she can't…she didn't think….but she should have. And maybe that's what's been eating away at her the most. She should have known this was a possibility. She should have done something different. Maybe then….

Maybe then….

Her vision blurs as she places the flower on the fresh mound of dirt.

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Chapter 1: Adventure Awaits

The air smells fresh and clean. Rachel takes a deep breath in and closes her eyes, tilting her face up to the sun. It's warmth beats down on her through the canopy of leaves above. Someone stops next to her.

"You look like a weirdo doing that."

Rachel scowls mildly at Santana. The Latina bumps her shoulder with her own, grinning. "Thank you, Santana. I do so appreciate having a peaceful moment interrupted b—"

"Yeah, yeah, can it, Short Stuff. Let's keep going."

Santana grabs her hand and tugs her forward. Before she can even think to protest being manhandled, Brittany appears on her other side and grabs her other hand. Giggling, Rachel lets go of her annoyance and matches their pace. She swings their hands as they walk. Brittany giggles too and happily keeps swinging their arms. Santana rolls her eyes, but Rachel catches a glimpse of her smile before she turns away. They're on day 2 of their camping trip. They were excited to discover that Artie had gotten a special wheelchair for more physical and outdoorsy events. The wheels are thicker and more rugged, allowing him to traverse rougher terrain. With several strong teenage boys in their group, they're able to lift Artie and his chair over the occasional obstacle. They had planned out a specific hiking path ahead of time. The journey they'd planned has good spots for setting up camp, great views, spots to go swimming, and the path itself shouldn't be too challenging for Artie's more rugged chair. This means that everyone in their group is able to come. Even an old friend. Matt was thrilled to be invited and immediately accepted. It is truly wonderful to have him visit.

In general, Rachel doesn't like the outdoors. There are a few exceptions. Beaches, their spot in the woods, and the occasional hike are fine with her. She freaks out over bugs and other critters, she doesn't like not being able to sleep in a real bed, and she hates not having a real bathroom. But it's all worth it to get to go on a four day camping trip with her close knit group of friends/family. Framily?

They catch up to the rest of the group to find them already sitting down for a snack. Yero is tugging on his leash, trying to sniff something off the path, but Finn keeps a firm grasp, preventing the dog from getting too far. Rachel sits beside Noah and he tosses an arm over her shoulders. She smiles. She'd been a little worried that they'd stop being so physically affectionate with her now that she's in remission. She'd admitted this to Kurt. Her brother had reminded her that the rest of their friends had started hugging and holding her before she got sick. They may have become more physical after her diagnosis in order to comfort her, but they all stepped up to show her physical affection back in freshman year, shortly after they discovered just how much she loves it. Needs it. Thinking back, she realized her brother was right.

"Besides," Kurt went on quietly, "you may be in remission now, but we still nearly lost you. And it wasn't that long ago. We watched you suffer while battling aplastic anemia for twenty months. Trust me, Tink. None of us are going to stop showing you physical affection anytime in the near future. If ever."

Rachel has been in remission for almost a month now. For a month she hasn't had a single attack, dizzy spell, fainting spell, bloody gums, or bloody nose. Her bruises are gone. Her appetite and energy levels have been improving for the past several months, so by now she feels…..normal. Happy. But she knows her brother had a good point. She may be healthy now, but she came damn close to dying and spent a long time sick. Kurt was also right that she truly suffered while battling her illness for over a year and a half. Her friends were by her side the entire time, supporting her. They watched her get worse and worse. They watched her slowly waste away. They saw her on her deathbed. They saw it all and never backed away. They're strong, but they're human. Sometimes they still need to remind themselves that she really is okay now. She knows some of them still have the occasional nightmare or sleepless night. Any reminder of last February is enough to upset them. Sometimes she thinks they hug her or hold her for their own comfort. She doesn't mind in the slightest. In fact, she's happy that they're reaching out to her and she's more than happy to accommodate. After what they went through for her, she's willing to do anything to support them now as they learn to accept that she truly is healthy.

So when any of the girls or Kurt randomly show up on her doorstep and sheepishly ask if they can spend the night, she welcomes them in and spends the night curled up with them. When Mercedes or Tina pull her into random hugs, she happily hugs them back without question. When Blaine suggests practicing holding sustained notes, she doesn't ask him if he's checking that her breathing is completely back to normal. She knows. When Brittany pulls her into a snuggle and rests her hand in a spot where she can monitor Rachel's breathing or heartbeat, she doesn't comment. When she notices Sam watching her from the corner of her eye, she doesn't let on. When Noah silently carries her belongings for her, she simply thanks him for being chivalrous. When Santana and Quinn invite her to jog with them and they match her pace, she doesn't bother insisting they can go faster if they'd like. She understands. When Mike asks her to dance with him and keeps at least one hand on her the entire time, she doesn't argue. When Artie asks for her opinion on a dance move he's trying to copy with his chair, she doesn't bother questioning why he's not asking Mike or Brittany. When Finn lays his head on her chest and stays silent for a few minutes, she doesn't have to ask him if he's listening to her heartbeat. She knows. When Kurt starts crying for no apparent reason, or unceremoniously pulls up her shirt (when they're alone) to check her torso for bruises, she doesn't say a word. She understands. When all of them tense up at any hint of her being in pain or unwell, she does her best to immediately put them at ease. When she gets a call from one of them early in the morning "just to say hi," she understands. Rachel has learned to be careful of what she says, how she says it, the jokes she makes, and even mild complaints (like headaches or being tired). She knows it'll take them a little longer to truly relax and accept that she is healthy. She may have gone through hell, but they chose to go through it with her. So she will give them all the time, reassurance, and reminders they need to be comfortable and relaxed.

Besides, her mom and Uncle Burt are worse. Those two have really been struggling to ease up when it comes to her health and checking on her. They've both continue to question her about symptoms and how she's feeling, even though it has been weeks since she has had any. She made the mistake of complaining she was too hot one day last week and they put a cool, wet rag on the back of her neck, got her ice water, and made her sit in the air conditioning for a while. She has woken up more than once to one of them checking on her during the night. With Uncle Burt, he usually just checks her pulse and breathing, kisses her cheek or forehead, and leaves the room. Once, though, he sat on the edge of the bed for a while. She'd been half asleep at the time and had no problem pretending to be completely asleep. A few times her mom slid into the bed with her for a while after checking on her. Rachel is aware that her mother has had a several nightmares about everything. Nearly dying in her arms really shook her. So she has been doing her best to not complain or even let herself get frustrated by it, but it's hard. When she starts to get irritated by how overprotective they are, she tries to remind herself to see it as constant reminders of how much they love her. She just hates that they're still so worried. She's in remission! She's healthy! And she for one is more than happy to put the past behind her.

She has closed the door on that part of her life.

Firmly.

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It's hot.

Rachel is on top of her sleeping bag, rather than in it. At her request, Uncle Burt had bought them a tent with a top that you can see through from the inside. This means Rachel can be in the tent and still sort of see the sky. She enjoyed that feature the previous night, but she's not looking tonight. Tonight, Kurt is spooning her and Yero is curled against her front with his head on her chest. Her lips curl up, enjoying both being held and holding her puppy. Mercedes and Tina are in this tent with her as well, currently sleeping. The rest of the girls are in another tent and the boys (minus Kurt) are split between two tents.

It was a fun day of hiking and swimming. Even running from the wasp nest that Noah knocked down with a rock was funny….in hindsight. Yero seemed to really enjoy the woods. He ran around, chased off small animals that came close, swam, and played with them. The whole time his tail was wagging like crazy. Rachel loves that even though Yero will happily go to anyone to be pet or play games with them, he always goes back to Rachel and spends most of his time by her side. It makes her feel special that he'd chose her over all the other teens.

She is tired. But a normal tired. All of them are. She is relaxed, warm (a little too warm at the moment, but she won't complain), feeling good, and very happy. Rachel drifts off to sleep with the smile still on her lips.

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"No jumping off cliffs." Her brother tells her sternly as they approach one such landform.

Rachel grins. "Don't worry, I already promised Mom I wouldn't. And Uncle Burt."

"Can you imagine going into remission just to die weeks later from drowning or falling?"

Sam angrily swings at Matt, who dodges back with an apologetic smile. The others don't smile. They tense. Rachel sighs. She wonders how long it'll take for them to be able to joke about stuff like this. Will they ever? She lets Yero tug her onwards and the group follows. They make their way down to the river and she listens to the boys give Artie a hard time about having to carry his ass into the water. Artie cheerfully tells them to think of it as exercise to strengthen their muscles. They find a calm section of the river where other people are swimming. Rachel takes off her shorts and top, revealing the bikini underneath. She's happy to show off her skin this summer, now that it's not pasty pale and covered in bruises. From the corner of her eye she watches Brittany lightly smack Noah for ogling her, not seeming to notice that Santana is doing the same thing. She grins. The only reaction she cares about is Finn's. He pulls his own top off and she gets distracted by how well defined his abs have become. When she manages to raise her eyes to his, he's grinning at her with his dopey smile. She grins back.

Rachel unhooks Yero's leash and the dog immediately takes off into the water. She follows, wondering if she'd be able to convince her mom to get them a pool. For Yero, of course. The teens swim, splash, and have fun in the water. Until Tina suddenly shrieks and jumps on Mike.

"What's wrong?"

"What was that?"

"What's going on?"

"Are you okay, Tina?"

"Something slimy rubbed against my leg!" Tina complains, still clinging to her boyfriend.

The others relax and laugh. Mike tries to soothe his girlfriend. "It's a river, there are fish and plants in the water with us. It's not a pool."

Tina's face scrunches up in disgust. "But it was slimy!"

The boys keep laughing, but the girls and Kurt tense up slightly, peering carefully at the water around them. That's when Mercedes shrieks and takes off running for the shore.

"Nuh-uh, I'm out!" The black diva yells back to them.

Santana is laughing at her friend. "The big bad diva, all tough and mighty, brought down by something in the water? How ridiculous. I bet you wouldn't be able to handle an ocean, with like jellyfish and seaw—"

She cuts herself off with a scream and takes off towards the shore, her hands waving frantically in her haste. The others are doubled over laughing.

"Big, bad, tough diva, huh?" Mercedes arches an eyebrow at her.

The Latina curses at her in Spanish. Most of the group can't make out what she's saying, but a small Hispanic family nearby looks over at the girl with a scowl. Rachel grins, but is warily watching the water around her. She can't see anything, and she knows it'll just be fish or plants, but…what if it's not? What if it's a snake? Or a leech? Don't some eels live in rivers? Tensing up even more, she begins walking towards the shore.

"You done swimming?" Finn asks her.

When she nods, he turns his back to her and crouches down a little. Realizing he's offering her a piggyback ride, and that it means she won't be in the water with whatever touched her friends, Rachel happily hops on. She smiles at the adorable scene her brother and his boyfriend make as Kurt hops on Blaine's back. Blaine may be shorter, but he is strong. She laughs when Sam hops on Noah's back and Noah twists, trying to knock the other boy off of him. The two end up wrestling in the water.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

"You mean you're not going to be my white knight and carry me out?" Sam asks with puppy dog eyes.

Noah scowls and splashes him. Matt swims over to them. "I've got you."

The laughter gets louder as they watch Matt carry Sam out of the water, not piggyback, but bridal style. Sam tosses his head back dramatically and speaks in a higher pitch, pretending to swoon. "My hero!"

Rachel laughs, but eyes Quinn carefully. The breakup may have been mutual, but she still wants to make sure her friend is okay. Thankfully Quinn is laughing along with the others, no hint of hurt, sadness, or regret on her face. She only stops laughing and rolls her eyes when Brittany nudges her shoulder and asks if she'd turned Sam gay. They redress and pack up their stuff. Rachel shrieks and quickly steps back when Yero shakes off the excess water from his fur.

"Yero!"

Before she can scold the dog for getting her dry clothes wet, the adorable golden pup sits in front of her with his tongue hanging out. She shakes her head with a laugh and scratches behind his ears. As the group of friends walk along the river bank, they come upon a boat rental hut. Rachel pauses. Her eyes slide right over the brightly colored plastic kayaks and canoes. Her gaze lands on the small section of wooden rowboats.

Why does she dream of rowboats when close to death? Every single time?

It's a mystery she has yet to solve, even with her therapist Renee's help. She'd made the mistake of Googling the meaning of dreaming of rowboats. There were far too many possibilities, many of them relevant to her, and yet none seemed quite right. A hand gently grasps her upper arm. Her brother is watching her worriedly.

"You good?"

She smiles. "Yeah."

"We're not going boating, Tink."

"I wouldn't mind—"

"Well, we would. So no. No offense, but your dreams when you're close to death mean all of us have lost any interest in going boating."

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She can't get the stupid boat out of her thoughts. They hadn't gone very far before pitching their tents and making camp. It had already been late afternoon when they'd stopped to swim in the river. They wanted to make sure they had their camp set up before the sun went down, so they didn't hike too much further before stopping. They're finishing up their dinner, cooked over the fire pit once again, and arguing over whose turn it is to clean the dishes. Rachel rolls her eyes and starts gathering a few dishes to take to the river to wash off. She knows she could probably get out of any chores; no one would make her do anything she didn't want to. But if she wants things to go back to normal then she needs to act normal.

Even at home she has started taking out the trash and completing other small chores. The first time she'd washed the dishes after dinner, her mother had nearly cried. Rachel had momentarily been stunned. Crying? Because she was washing dishes? Then she realized that as stupid as it was, the fact that Rachel was there and well enough to wash dishes was enough to make her mother emotional. She'd wanted to tease her, but wasn't sure how without making it worse. So she'd purposely used too much dish soap, made a whole bunch of bubbles, and blown a bunch in her mother's direction. Her mom had laughed and half heartedly complained that she was just making a bigger mess, but within a minute the two of them were having a bubble blowing battle in their kitchen. They'd laughed until they'd cried, then finished cleaning the dishes together.

Rachel shakes the memory away. Brittany and Finn join her. The three of them sing and harmonize while rinsing the dishes off. There isn't much to wash off. Not only did most of them clear their plates, but what they didn't finish, Yero did. He licked most plates clean for them. When they finish, Brittany returns to camp. Rachel grabs Finn to stop him.

"Think we can sneak away tonight? After everyone else has gone to sleep?"

Several emotions flash across his face. She waits. After a moment of indecision, he grins. "Okay. But we need to tell at least one person."

She gets why, so she nods. They ultimately decide to make Matt their fall-guy. They return to camp and Finn pulls Matt aside. Rachel distracts the others by suggesting they roast marshmallows. Later, she waits until she's sure everyone in her tent is asleep. She moves as stealthily as she can. It's stupid, but comparing how she is right now, sneaking out of a tent in the dead of night to rendezvous with her boyfriend, to just a few months ago when she couldn't even walk on her own, makes a lump form in her throat. Now she gets why her mother cried over her washing the dishes. She unzipped the entrance just enough for her to slip through when she hears shuffling behind her. Yero is awake. He lifts his head, watching her. Rachel hesitates, uncertain how to handle it. She's never tried to sneak away from him before. He's not much of a barker, but he does bark at times. Especially to bring people's attention to Rachel. She knows she can't walk out without doing something. Should she pet him and kiss his furry head and then try to leave? Should she bring him with her? Yero makes the decision for her. He silently pads closer to her, keeping his head low. His tail is twitching, not wagging. It's like he knows she's up to no good! Realizing she'd never be able to sneak away from him, she pets his head and guides him out of the tent before her. Finn is sitting on a log. Yero pauses, looking between them. He appears uncertain whether to run over to Finn for pets or stay by Rachel's side. Rachel doesn't move, just curious what he'll do. Her dog moves to stand against her leg. With a smile, Rachel crouches down. She gives him scratches and kisses his furry head. His tongue lolls out and his tail wags. She attaches his leash to his collar and walks over to Finn.

"So…why'd you want to sneak away? Not that I'm complaining."

"Mostly I want some private time with you."

"I'm good with that." He grins widely. They'd taken their physical relationship to the next level. Or two. They've let their hands explore new places, but never got real far. Mostly because they haven't had a whole lot of privacy.

"But I also wanted to try something." She begins walking away from camp so they can talk in a normal volume instead of at a whisper. He follows. "I want to ride in the rowboat we saw earlier."

Finn stops walking. "Rach….why?"

She shifts from foot to foot. "I just…..I don't know why I keep imagining being in a rowboat when I'm near death. I don't think I've ever even been in one. I've been in a canoe before, and a paddle boat, but not a rowboat. I'm not even a big fan of boats."

"And you hate ferries." He nods. She rolls her eyes.

"I want to be in one in real life. See what it's like. I want to experience it while…..living. Who knows, maybe I'll always dream of rowboats. Or, maybe it'll become something else after actually being in one."

He nods slightly. "Not that you'll know for like…8 decades or something."

She laughs quietly. "So you think I won't die until I'm in my 90's?"

He shrugs. "I'm pushing for triple digits for you, but I'll settle for 90's."

"I can't even imagine being that old."

"I can. Imagine you, I mean. Old. Gray haired, wrinkled, shorter than ever, but still beautiful." She giggles. "They put you in a wheelchair and roll you out on stage at the Tony's to make you sing your signature song. Or maybe to have you give a speech about how many Tony's you've won in your years on Broadway. I'll be sitting in the audience complaining about losing my dentures and squinting up at the stage knowing I hear my wife but my eyes are shit so I can't see you. I just keep turning to everyone around me saying 'that's my wife, you know' and the people around me, maybe our grown up children, pat my shoulder saying 'yeah, we know'. And even at 96 you know how to wow a crowd."

She laughs louder and leans into his side. It sounds wonderful.

They get to the hut with the boat rentals. Realizing they'd have to pay and it's obviously closed, Rachel's shoulders slump. But Finn refuses to give up now. He looks around for cameras and doesn't see any. Not surprising, since they're in the middle of the woods. He leads her to the small dock and helps her into a rowboat. Yero jumps in after her and settles at her feet. Finn unties the boat and climbs in as well. He rows them out further to the center of the river. It's calm here, so they don't have to worry about the current taking them far away. Finn puts the oars down and they readjust until she is leaning back against him with Yero still curled up at her feet. It's a warm summer night, but there's a cool breeze coming off the water. She is comfortable. Finn's arms are around her. They sit silently for a few minutes, their eyes on the sky. Rachel's eyes trace the stars, trying to make out constellations. For all her love of stars and pretty skies, she's never been very good at it. Finn takes hold of her right hand, gripping it firmly. Rachel quietly sucks in a breath. The boat. The gentle rocking. The river. The dark silhouettes of the mountains and trees around them. The stars above them. His hand holding hers. The warm, comforting presence at her feet.

She remembers her….vision…dream…..whatever….from when she nearly passed on. Not clearly, but enough that she remembers those main things. And the painting hanging in her room is a constant reminder, as well. But this, here and now, brings it all back in vivid detail. She gulps and tears flow silently down her cheeks. Finn kisses her head.

"I love you." Too emotional to speak, she merely squeezes his hand in response. "Thank you for coming back to us. To me."

"For you. For all of you." She stutters out. She feels him nod. "I mean….for me, too. I still have things I want to do and experience. But…"

"But you mostly came back for us."

"Yeah."

"Thank you." They're silent for a few minutes, just enjoying the view, the gentle rocking of the boat, and each other's presence. "Is it similar to what you remember?"

"Yes. And no."

"That was very clear and decisive. Thank you."

She lightly elbows him and he chuckles. "From what I remember…..the river was much, much bigger. The view was absolutely gorgeous. Stunning. That was better than this. But…this boat ride is better."

"Because you're actually alive and not in pain?"

"Well….yes, obviously, but….I also meant…I'm not alone. I was alone, before, but not really. I could hear my mom and knew she was there. I could feel you holding my hand. I could feel Kurt by my side. Even though I heard and felt your presence, I was still technically alone in the boat. Now I'm not. So it's better. And it'll be so much easier to get back to shore this time."

His laugh sounds odd. Wet. She squeezes his hand tighter. Yero sits up and rests his head on her lap.

"Thank you for being my anchor."

"Always."

When they're ready, they row back to shore. Rachel started off rowing, but when they got closer to shore she handed the oars over to Finn. He has been in many boats and can adeptly maneuver the rowboat back to its starting position at the small dock.

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Before they can get too close to their campsite, Rachel tugs his hand. He follows her willingly. They walk along until they find what Rachel was looking for. A smaller campsite that no one has claimed. Rachel ties Yero's leash to a small tree and feeds him a couple treats. She then leads Finn over to the logs acting as benches around a fire pit. She pushes him down onto one and straddles him. She gives him the smile that makes his eyes go dark and his lips part in anticipation. She grazes her lips across his lightly. Then more firmly. Then she finally begins a proper make out session. He slides his hands under her shirt. At first, they stay on her back. As they keep going, getting heavier, he brings them around to the front. Gently, he cups her breast and tease her nipple through her thin sport bra. She deepens the kiss. When his hand starts sliding determinedly south, she grabs his wrist and pulls back. He opens his mouth, no doubt to apologize, but she smirks at him.

Rachel slides to her knees before him, her hands going to the button and zipper on his shorts. He freezes. She keeps eye contact, not wanting to go further if he's not ready. She has used her hands on him before, but they haven't gone further than that. Seeing no hesitation, she smirks again and slowly releases him. He's wide eyed and nearly panting.

"Remember when I said I intended to show you what an amazing boyfriend you are?"

He nods jerkily. When she lowers her head to him, she's pretty sure he briefly stopped breathing. His right hand comes down to gently rest on her head, his fingers lightly gripping her hair. She loves the sounds he's making. Thank God she doesn't have a gag reflex.

They walk back to camp with huge smiles and holding hands. Yero trots happily beside them. Rachel was surprised not to be disgusted by performing that particular act. She finds she didn't mind it at all. And from Finn's reaction, she knows he absolutely loved it. He's had a shit-eating grin on his face ever since. They kiss goodnight and quietly slip back into their respective tents.

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He wakes to someone kicking his back. Finn groans and rolls over. "What?"

"Dude, come on. Breakfast is ready. Sam made oatmeal."

The sun is up. It's probably getting late. Finn stretches languidly and pulls on clean clothes for the day. He steps out of the tent to find most of his friends already gathered around the fire eating breakfast and talking. He wonders how he hadn't been woken by their talking. Then again, he thinks with a grin, they did get to bed late. He sits next to his stepbrother. Kurt's eyes jump between his plate and his tent.

"Something wrong?"

Kurt gives a slight shrug. "I don't think so, it's just…..Rachel's not up yet. And I know there are still some mornings she has a hard time waking up, and it's to be expected, I just….."

"You worry." Blaine finishes for him.

Kurt nods, looking down. Finn frowns. He knows why Rachel is still asleep. Should he admit to his friends that he kept her out late and that's why she needs more sleep? Will they be mad at him or relieved to know it's not health related? Should he stay quiet and just let her sleep? He looks to Matt. The guy gives him a wink and keeps eating. Well at least he knows Matt won't say anything.

"We'll save her some oatmeal."

"But shouldn't we wake her soon? We need to take the tents down and keep going. This is our last day."

"I've gotten so used to letting her sleep that waking her up seems wrong." Kurt admits.

They decide to give her a little longer. The rest of them finish their food, take down the other tents, and slowly work on packing up the rest of their stuff. When they're nearly done, Brittany slides into the tent. A couple minutes later both girls emerge. Rachel still looks sleepy, but she's smiling and moving well. Of course she is. She's in remission. Dr. Reed said there'd be some days she needs more sleep as her body adjusts to being healthy. And Finn knows she didn't actually get a full night of sleep last night. He bites his lip, feeling guilty. He should have insisted they go right back to camp after leaving the boat. Then again…then that would have meant he wouldn't have gotten his first—He shakes his head. Rachel's health and well-being are more important than anything else. Especially his pleasure. Even if she is the one who initiated all of it. She's stubborn. He should have insisted, not followed his stupid teenage hormones.

Rachel sits on the log across from him. When he catches her eye, she gives him a tiny smirk before returning her attention to Tina. Well, it doesn't seem like she regrets it at all. He relaxes a little, but still makes a mental note to have a firm talk with his body. Hormones or no, teenage boy or no, hot girlfriend straddling his lap and initiating it all or no, all that matters is what's best for Rachel.

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Rachel steps through her front door feeling tired and gross. She had fun, but good God she is relieved to be home. All she wants to do right now is shower. She releases Yero as soon as the door is shut. He dashes off to grab his favorite toy; a stuffed dinosaur he hadn't been allowed to bring. Her foot is on the first step when she's grabbed from behind.

"Hi, honey!"

"Mom," Rachel groans, "I'm sweaty, dirty, and gross. I need a shower."

"I don't care, I haven't seen you in days! I need a hug!"

Caving in, Rachel turns in her mom's embrace and hugs her back. When she is released, she looks into the sparkling green eyes and knows her mom really did need that hug. She's been doing better, but she still doesn't like being away from Rachel for any extended time. Her mom pats her cheek.

"Okay, go shower. Then we'll eat and you can tell me all about your trip!"

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The hot water feels amazing pounding on her back and cascading down her body. There's nothing wrong with bathing outdoors using environmentally friendly soap, but nothing beats an actual shower. As she finishes up, her mind drifts to her activities with Finn the previous night. He'd offered to return the favor then and there, but she's not ready for that yet. So far she has only let him use his hand down there once, and only briefly. She debates talking it over with her mother. Could she handle the mortification? How would her mom handle it? Better to wait, she decides.

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Over dinner, Rachel rambles on excitedly about her adventures with her friends on their hike. Shelby listens contentedly. When the finish eating, Rachel sits on her lap so they can both look at the pictures she took on her phone. Certain pictures Shelby asks Rachel to send her so she has a copy. When they exhaust all the photos and Rachel is finished sharing stories, Shelby brings up a new topic.

"Are you ready for senior year to start next week?"

Rachel's resulting smile is huge. "Yes! I am."

Shelby chuckles and kisses her cheek. "Good."

"And you're really not taking over Vocal Adrenaline again?"

"I'm really not." She confirms.

"But, Mom. I'm healthy. You don't need—"

"Rachel, it's not about that." At the look her daughter gives her, Shelby backtracks slightly. "Okay, it's partially about that. You're healthy, but you've only been in remission for a month. Let me have time to adjust to that. Rachel, I've never known you healthy. This is wonderful, but new. I want to spend more time with you."

Rachel shifts to be able to look at her better. After a moment, she nods. "Okay. Do you think you'll ever go back to coaching VA?"

"Maybe. We'll see."

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Rachel swipes through pictures on her phone. She works backwards, starting by looking at photos from the camping trip. Next she looks at pictures from her beach trip with her mom. Yes, her mom had wanted to do a trip with just her just for fun. And it was a way for both of them to relax and unwind after the stress they'd been under. But Rachel is well aware that her mom went all out largely out of guilt for the suffering Rachel went through during and after the harsher treatment. So while this vacation was for both of them to relax, it was also a way for her mom to spoil her. Spoil both of them. Their all inclusive resort had been awesome. They'd spent most of their days lounging on the beach getting tans, then swimming in the blue water to cool off. That had been a source of amusement. Blue water. As a kid, she's grew up coloring water blue. But she's used to swimming in lakes, which are not exactly clear blue water. Even when she'd gone to beaches before, it'd only been a few times and up in New York. The ocean water there was more grayish green than blue. But on that island the water was clear blue. Gorgeous. She'd taken a ton of photos of the water, the beach, herself, her mom, and the two of them together on the beach or in the water.

They hadn't just gone to the beach. Some days they'd gone to the pool. They'd frequented the spa and gotten facials and massages more than once. They went jet skiing, snorkeling, and parasailing. They'd also gone zip lining, which was a lot of fun. Two days of their trip, they'd left the resort to explore the island. They'd done some shopping, of course. The one shop had a tattoo parlor attached and Rachel swears she'd almost convinced her mom to let her get a tattoo. Guilt is a funny thing.

Rachel had loved the trip. Truly. The island, the beach, the ocean, and their resort were all awesome. But getting away from everything and having a truly fun, relaxing trip with her mom was what made it so wonderful. They left their emotional baggage behind for the duration of the trip and focused on the present. The very enjoyable present. It was a stress free vacation, which was exactly what they'd both desperately needed. The only exception was the one night Rachel had had a nightmare about nearly dying. Her mom comforted her, of course, and it was just a minor blip. The resort featured several restaurants. One night, one of them hosted a karaoke night. Rachel challenged her mother to a sing-off. They each sang their own song, then sang a duet. Each time, they received enthusiastic applause. When they tried to get the audience to determine a winner, mother or daughter, they'd been split fairly evenly. It was too close to call. So of course both stubborn divas spent the entire walk back to their hotel room playfully arguing that they were the winner.

She swipes further back in her photos, prior to that vacation. Day trips with her relatives (her favorites being the day she went to an escape room with her older cousins and the day she went to the water park with her younger cousins), goofing off with friends, dates with Finn, at the firing range with Grandpa, pranking Uncle Burt (a joint effort with her boys), cuddling/playing with Yero, and so on. She even has a few photos from the visit to the zoo with Scott. That was surprisingly fun. There are a few pictures of times she went out with other friends; kids from the Warblers, Vocal Adrenaline, the Cheerios, and the Titans. Her thumb hovers over the phone screen and she hesitates before swiping further back. Her two remission parties. The benefit. Nationals (and the subsequent celebration). Junior prom. The further back she goes, the less pictures she has. And the ones she does have are…..not pretty. They show her as skeletal, pale, bruised, and usually connected to oxygen and/or an IV. Part of her still can't believe she really went through that. It wasn't a fevered nightmare. It wasn't her imagination. It actually happened. That really is her in those pictures. She suffered, fought, and survived. For twenty months. Nearly two years. A teardrop splashes on her phone's screen. She wipes it away. Her gaze drifts to the painting on the wall of the rowboat on the river between mountains. It really happened.

But that's in the past. And the past is behind her.

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A/N: I hate begging, but….please review!