If I owned Kingdom Hearts, that would rock. For now I'll have to settle for a bag of skittles and a bottle of sprite. So, I'm updating on behalf of my friend. I don't really know if anyone likes this, but oh well. Read and review, say whatever you like. And no I have no idea if anyone gets paired off in my ifc. I guess if people who read it have input I'll go with that.
My body has surely perished. However, I am different from the other Heartless, keeping the memories of before, and I have not taken on the form of a Heartless.
Sora came out no less worse for the wear, and Riku wondered briefly if he should be proud or astounded. He stood, and his blood froze. The latter quickly overtook his thoughts.
Towel wrapped about his waist, Sora stood there dripping wet. It was not merely that he had failed to dry himself off. If it were only that, Riku wouldn't have been nearly so stunned. The towel hung on Sora's angular frame, barely keeping to him it seemed. He'd grown so slim he had a catlike build, but yet again it was a lesser detail tot Riku.
Sora's arms and waist were covered with scars. Where once Heartless had torn and ripped at his body the boy now bore the marks of his wounds. Darkness had burned those scars into the younger boy's skin. Concentrated mainly about his chest, and Riku would later note the shoulder blades as well, the scars varied in both length and appearance. The younger boy merely stood there being examined, unable to offer explanation nor comment. He didn't need to, though. Riku knew already.
"…I'm sorry." Riku could barely breathe the words. It became even more clear than it ever had been the damage that he had wrought with his own actions. After all it was he who threw Sora into this cruel nightmare. He fell to his knees, for the first time in his life feeling as though he would surely cry in spite of Sora's presence. It was all his fault, and he'd no way to make up for it. Perhaps this was the first time reality had finally struck him full force.
He'd thought once he'd found Sora everything would go back to the way it used to be, the way it was supposed to be. But Riku knew now that he could never regain his lost time. Sora would never be the same person again, and while his friend had forgiven him Riku came to the realization that he could never atone for this. The only person who could ever forgive him was the one he'd hurt the most. The one he cared for the most. At least, he thought bitterly, his blindfold would hide the tears of frustration and self-loathing that burned his eyes. Riku knew he did not deserve the luxury of crying.
"I'm so sorry." Riku knew it would never be enough. He could never do enough to make up for all of his mistakes. He only wished that he'd known why it had to go so wrong. It seemed everything he'd ever done was nothing. It all paled to his one great mistake. Riku didn't dare speak another word. He had no right to in his mind, and Sora would surely know he was crying.
After several moments of silence he felt Sora holding him, trying to comfort him in the silent way he was limited to. That was likely Riku's fault as well. He repeated his incoherent apologies over and over again, muffled by Sora's shoulder. The silver-haired boy knew he didn't deserve such a friend. He knew and yet his arms shakily encircled his friend as they both sat there on the floor. As strong as he thought he had been, Riku felt he was nowhere near as strong as Sora was now. He'd never listened to Sora back then, and he hadn't forgiven him for an error he hadn't committed. And now Sora had lost so much. Riku bit his lip and tried to silence himself, but all the tears he'd kept inside of him for so long wouldn't be bound.
It felt like he cried for ages in that silence. He'd never felt so lost before.
"I'm sorry. After all I've done to you I go and cry. Some friend I am." Riku finally managed to calm himself, although he hadn't moved just yet. The sound of another person's heartbeat was of comfort to him. After all he could not hear his own.
He was ashamed with himself, and now more than ever. He didn't deserve Sora's kindness. What he'd done had put Sora through hell. Because of his own selfish desires he'd destroyed countless lives, but none would ever effect him more than Sora. The weight of that one life meant more than anything, and he felt he could never make up for it.
The response was silence. Sora only held him tighter, and Riku gave a wry laugh.
"I always said I was the strong one, but you…" He really didn't have to finish, and he couldn't. After staying up all night to make sure that the friend had sought for so long wouldn't simply vanish, Riku had been exhausted. The tears were more than enough for him to handle. It was such a foreign feeling. Riku hadn't even been aware that he could still cry. He slipped out of the waking world before he even knew it.
For his part, Sora remained perfectly still. Whether his friend was some form of Heartless or not didn't matter. As far as he was concerned Riku would always be Riku. He only wished he could remember what exactly Riku had done. He couldn't recall this horrible thing that hung over his dear friend's shoulders so heavily as to cause so much guilt.
Either way it was forgiven. He didn't care if Riku unleashed hell. This was his friend, the one thing he remembered, and Sora supposed he'd held on to his dearest memory longest. His friend was more valuable than life to him, and whether he could speak it or not, Sora wished that Riku knew that. His blue eyes clouded with thought. If only he could remember everything. Maybe then he could understand, and help Riku get over the shadows of the past.
It wouldn't hurt if he could talk again as well.
Riku awoke and sat up immediately. He'd found himself cradled against his friend, and it took him several moments to recall the events leading up to this. Sora sad there, head bowed in sleep, unaffected by the older boy's sudden movements. One thing remained the same, the amber-eyed boy thought with a sad smile. Sora still slept way too much.
"You must have some kind of malfunction." Riku shook his head, not certain who he should be directing that comment at. He watched Sora for a moment as the younger boy slept. He still looked so innocent in spite of all the pain he'd endured, and his youthful face reflected none of what had scarred his body these past three years. His eyes were the same blue, but perhaps his hair had become darker and a bit less wild. It had been longer too, but Sora had seen to that right away. Riku felt a smile tug at him once more and didn't suppress it.
"I wish I could remember what feelings are like, you know?" Riku leaned back on his palms, looking at the ceiling. He would never admit to Sora when he was awake that his heart was incapable of feeling until just recently, and even then he no longer knew what it was he felt. Amber eyes slid shut under raven lashes as he considered. With Sora back it felt as if his old self were returning. But it was impossible, wasn't it? His heart was made of darkness now.
"I wish." Riku allowed for another sigh as his fingers slid along the rough wooden floor, unable to tell if he even knew what it was that he wanted. His eyes opened, and he looked at Sora. "I wish I knew why it's like this. With you I feel… I feel… I still can't figure that part out."
He brought his face close to Sora's, leaned over to look up at his old friend's face. He could feel the younger boy's breaths against his cool skin. Still so much like a child, and yet Sora was a powerful warrior now. It was a strange feeling that arose as he watched the other boy. Things were so different now. Riku had changed so much but he felt that in the past three years Sora hadn't changed at all.
"Wishes are for people who deserve them." Riku drew back and rose to his feet. When Sora woke up he would need something to wear when they went out.