Disclaimer: I don't own anything and yeah you no the rest...
A/N hiya! This idea came to me while I was babysitting my little neighbors (bless them!) and me and lily were watching the lion king! I love that movie! Anyway I don't really know how I got the idea, I think it was when the lion's dad fell to his death, and you'll see what I mean later on. Anyway I'm prattling on quite a lot so... enjoy. And review after! I get lots of reviews I continue, don't get many reviews I don't continue! Ok? Ok. See ya. Suzy x
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"DAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYY"
Jacks eyes snapped open. He could still hear the high-pitched scream of his daughter's voice as she fell to death. He was still having nightmares about that day, and it had been almost 11 months ago.
It was his entire fault what had happened. Ana Maria couldn't tell him that enough. She'd never forgive him for what happened. He'd never thought she'd forgive him for getting her pregnant in the first place after their drunken night of lust, but some how she had. Mainly because when she'd held that tiny little girl in her arms for the first time, after a long labor, all her anger about having a child slipped away and in its place was love. And not just for that little girl either.
But she would never get to hold that little girl ever again. And it was his entire fault. There was nothing that was going to change that fact. There was no chance that Ana Maria would ever forgive him for it either. She was only on the black pearl still because it was the last place her daughter had ever been. The only problem was that it was the same place she had died.
She hadn't spoken to him since that night either. Other then telling him over and over how stupid he was, how this had all been his fault, how could he have let her be out, things like that. And the only other time's she had said these things where when he made her talk to him, in an attempt to make things right between them, although he knew things would never be right.
Jack gave up on sleeping the proper way. There were only one or two nights he could drop off that way now anyway. He walked over to his rum cabinet. It had to be refilled more and more often each time, as he drank more, to drown out the pain he was still in.
The way he saw it was that Ana had the right to grieve for their child but he didn't. After all if it hadn't been for him she wouldn't be dead. So he didn't have the right to grieve. He bottled up all the emotion inside of him. He used to think about things other then what was going on, on the ship, but all his thoughts consisted of that night. What he could of done that would of made it all different, then she would still be with him, and he'd still have Ana Maria and he wouldn't be all lonely and thinking about things like that.
If only he'd have know.
If only he'd have checked.
If only...
If only. That was all he thought about, if that wasn't at the begging of each thought then it would usually be what if?
Anytime he saw Ana Maria it tore him up inside knowing it was his fault that she was so sad. The only other time he'd seen her like that was when he stole her boat. He could see her from the boat, standing on the shore looking at him sail away with her pride and joy. But even then it wasn't as bad as this. All that had been was hurt and anger. This was downright depression. She was depressed because he had taken away the most important thing in her life and she didn't understand why or how. Why this had happened to her and how she was supposed to get on with her life now. It wasn't as if Jack could do what he had done after he'd stolen and sunk her boat was it? He couldn't go out to a shop and go "yes, my good friend here would like to buy a daughter." Like he had done when he'd brought her a ship, which he'd later had to save her from while it sank after a storm.
Truth was he had no idea what to do. He'd always seen the ocean as freedom along with his ship, now it felt like it was a prison. He felt his crew were always looking at him as if to say "murder" or "how could you let that happen to your own daughter?" although he knew the truth that they didn't even think it was his fault he still felt as though that was what they were thinking.
Although as it had turned out only two people thought that what had happened was really Jack's fault. And that was Jack and Ana Maria. He blamed himself, and she blamed him because she didn't know what had really happened that night, nearly 11 months ago. If she had maybe she'd of seen things differently and Jack wouldn't blame himself for something he didn't have any control over. Or maybe he'd still blame himself, but at least he might have grieved for the child he had only know for 4 years.
Jack sighed as he took hold of another bottle of rum. He thought he'd never see the day when he would go off the stuff but after the 11 months that had passed, he found the only use in them, was helping him get to sleep without having dreams or nightmares as they were now. The brown liquid no longer gave him the pleasure it once had. He hadn't been drinking so much once that little girl had been brought into the world, he hadn't needed to. He got his pleasure from watching her growing up. But that had been taken away from him so he had nothing in his life anymore.
The drink gave him no pleasure, neither did sailing. As well as thinking his crew thought he'd let his daughter die on purpose; he felt his ship did too. She didn't handle the same way as she used to. Maybe it was just him. He was different now.
As his head hit his desk, he fell into what he always thought were sleeps without dreams. Little did he know he still had the dreams, he just couldn't remember them for being drunk so much. But the scream would always echo out throughout his head it seemed...
"DAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYY"