The journey back was much simpler than the journey to find Arradine. Jareth took Arradine, and Toby took care of himself. In no more than a blink of the eye, they were back in the Goblin Castle at the centre of the Labyrinth.

Jareth let go of his daughter's hand and made for the door. He didn't feel up to talking to anyone just yet.

Toby watched him go with as blank an expression as was possible and walked in the opposite direction. The only problem, the door on that side didn't open. Just another trick door in a fantasy Castle.

He sat down and proceeded to stare at it.

Was this what reality felt like, unravelling the marvels of the universe before his eyes? Because doors weren't simply put there to look like doors, they were meant to open, Goddamn it! They were meant to lead somewhere! Passages didn't take you back to the point you started from! There couldn't possibly be more rooms than could fit in a medium-sized Castle. Storms couldn't be caused by an excess of emotion and certainly people didn't glow in that unnecessary manner.

Without even realizing it, Toby remembered the big guy with the spectacles who used to sit next to him in history class and look at him from the corner of his eye when the dreams had hit him so hard in public. The flash of mismatched eyes; the silver-blond hair; the way Jareth's hand always fit perfectly in the small of his back or on his shoulder or cupping his face… all that had only heightened when they'd actually met. It was all just one big fantasy, wasn't it? But there was no room left for fantasy.

"Dad?"

He turned slightly to see Arradine staring down worriedly at him. His daughter, wasn't she? Or was she another fantasy? "Go get your brother, sweetheart," he told her, "Try to keep Ereditha occupied elsewhere. The three of us need to talk."

He waited until she left before sinking back into his thoughts. He was numbed now, but he knew with a nauseous certainty that by the end of the week he'd be in a miserable amount of pain. He'd felt this once before; it couldn't possibly get easier with time.

It wasn't even that all the dreams had been nice ones! Sometimes he'd had dreams about someone who'd made him a person he didn't recognize, who made him do things he didn't want to do but couldn't refuse. Remembered being terrified of that irrational and unpredictable temper. The jealousy- Jareth showing him off like a prizemare at some place or other but insanely jealous when he tried the same thing on his own.

Jareth was too self-absorbed. Nothing had changed. He was still too self-absorbed. Toby wondered how he had managed to delude himself for seventeen years into believing otherwise.

"Things are never as they seem… life is just a masquerade ball… I am as I am; don't mistake the matter…"

And Toby had committed the cardinal error, hadn't he- he'd fantasized about some fantastical creature who was bound to have more hidden depths than an underground lake. All he'd got, was Jareth. That was what was wrong: he didn't know Jareth. He knew this person in his head who was perfect even in his faults and he had a general idea of this perfectly passionate life of making love and being a family.

His mom and dad were in love. But he'd foolishly never taken the time to note that they probably didn't have sex every night, or spend too many hours aday having long discussions on life and how lucky they were to have each other. Sarah and Ben were in love and Sarah still complained that Ben was a secretive idiot who never discussed things with her. Both couples fought and scrapped and argued about bills and who picked the kids up from baseball practise. His dad still burnt the toast and his mom still forgot to send her sister-in-law a birthday card. Sarah spent an inordinate amount of her time proving defensively that she was right about some trivial thing and Ben stoically ignored the entire issue until he'd had some time to think about it. But they were in love!

And there was the difference.

He was in love with someone he wasn't married to. Or was he? Nothing was as it seemed, but the possibility of new discoveries was sadly flat- full of doors that wouldn't open and passages that led nowhere, so to speak. Reality was making a very concerted effort to break into the little world he'd hidden himself in for ages.

So he sat there on the carpet, with his back against the door, and waited for Arradine to come back. They managed it in an hour, Aidan murmuring that he was glad everything had worked out. Toby couldn't find enough happiness in himself to smile even at his son. Idly he hoped Jareth would stop neglecting the boy so very much.

"Sit down," he said, pointing to two chairs.

Arradine had changed from her adventurer's costume of grey breeches and poet shirt and now wore a distinctly pretty gown of patterned chiffon. Both were utterly gracefully in their movements, even looking puzzled and wary. Very much like Archer had been- graceful even in death.

"Arradine, sweetheart, will you be very upset if I left?"

Arradine's blue eyes widened. Aidan opened his mouth, but Toby wasn't looking at him so he held his tongue. The Heir to the Goblin Kingdom was speechless; she could only shake her head in confusion, her long uneven-lengthened hair pinned up at the base of her neck.

Toby looked to Aidan. "Aidan? Love, will you mind?"

Never mind the embarrassing endearment, Aidan thought for a moment and then- ever the thinker- came up with the most important question: "Where will you go?"

"Aboveground," Toby answered, "I'll stay with Sarah for a while, until I can find my own place. I don't want to leave you, but I- I think I must. Don't you?"

Aidan and Arradine shared a look and then fidgeted. "We don't precisely want you to go," Arradine muttered, "But I think we understand. It's Father, isn't it? He's not been very good to you."

He hadn't been very good to Jareth either. "No, he hasn't."

"When will you leave?" Aidan asked, concerned with details. He didn't like emotions. They tended to intrude into life and create chaos. He preferred tangible things that he could escape from by hiding in the library or in the forests.

"I'm going to the Place of Time tomorrow to say my farewells to the elves," Toby decided. He thought for a little longer, scratching his stubbled chin lightly. "I guess I'll leave at the end of the week." No longer than that, he knew, the pain would be unbearable by then.

Emotions be damned! "I don't understand it," Aidan burst out, "Why does he treat you like that? What did you do?"

"I? I did nothing," Toby gasped, shocked that Aidan would blame him for this. With a moment's thought he realized that it was only to be expected. And perhaps it would be better if they thought it was his fault; after all, they were staying with Jareth and he didn't want to cause tension. "Never mind. There were reasons on both sides."

Arradine growled at that. "Stop making excuses," she huffed, "You've always done that. Every time he did something nasty, you made another excuse for him. I love him dearly, but you never deserved to be treated as he treats you. He's humiliated you time and again, robbed you of any self-respect and purpose and…"

"Stop." Toby held up a hand and shut his eyes. He didn't need this now. It hurt enough without remembering. "I know you feel badly for me, sweetheart, but I can't take that just yet."

There was silence for a moment as he composed himself.

Aidan spent the time looking dispassionately over his dad. He could understand why his father had desired him enough to marry him. His dad would have been sixteen when he first met his father- his age. Now, at thirty-five, he didn't look very much beyond eighteen, though he was meant to look around twenty-one. And his dad would have made a good lover. He was patient and honest and open and even his faults fit in so well with what his father needed in a mate. So why had everything gone wrong?

"I know you think that one or other of us is to blame," Toby said, "But I promise you it's nothing like that. If you need to know, I love your father. But contrary to what you may believe, that love cannot transcend everything else. Even considering the three of you. And Jareth evidently doesn't feel… well, I think you know his position on this. I want to try to live a life with someone who actually likes me. I don't want to leave, but the Underground has too many memories. I'm mortal. I was meant to live Aboveground. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but it's the only chance I'll get to find some kind of peace."

"Will- will you be very unhappy if you stayed?" Aidan asked, uncertain now because first his father and now his dad. The world had never been very steady, but even the last few iron supports were falling down now. "Just for a few more weeks?"

"Yeah, I will. I love you very much but I need to leave. I wish I could have stayed for your birthday, but it will be too late by then."

"Do you want to leave?" Arradine's question.

Toby thought over that. A life with no hope and no real purpose versus a life with no hope but perhaps his own rules. "Yes. But I need you to tell me that it's okay, that you won't hate me for it."

They looked at each other again, two children being asked to be more grown-up than they needed to be. "It's okay," Arradine said slowly.

Toby didn't try to touch them, or hug them. Arradine was close to tears as it was and Aidan was clearly waiting to go out and bury himself in a book or something, anything to forget this conversation. He wished it didn't have to be like this for them. He wanted a happy life for them, not this horrible parody of a divorce.

Now all that was left was to tell the other person involved. He ran Jareth to earth in the enormous feasting hall, sitting in a normal wooden chair at the head of the table and thinking alone.

The Goblin King looked up as Toby entered, suspicious instantly and on his guard. Night was coming up and he couldn't- wouldn't- let another night like that the previous three happen. It couldn't happen ever again. Toby deserved better. Toby deserved someone who wasn't what he was. Toby deserved….

"I'm going home, Jareth. I don't care what you threaten me with any longer, I'm going back to the Aboveground and this time I'm staying there."

Jareth blinked and stood up, not quite sure why but confident that he needed to be alert for this. "You cannot do that," he murmured, gesturing to a seat, "You can't!"

"I can, Jareth. You don't own me. I'm not getting younger and I don't have forever to live my life. I need to leave."

"You have a life here. And if you think…" Jareth lost his temper. Somewhere in his head he knew he wasn't shouting, that his voice was perfectly controlled and modulated and that Toby flinched as each sentence found its target.

"Don't you understand, even now?" Toby asked tiredly. Jareth had been mocking him for fifteen minutes straight. It had made him only more certain of what he needed to do. "I'm leaving. If you want to chain me here, then you'll have to kill me first. Don't mistake the matter, Jareth- I don't want to die. I never have. But I will prefer to die than be chained up."

"Do you think I don't know that?" Jareth growled, "I do not want to chain you, but you will stay here. This is where you belong."

"Why?"

Jareth blinked, a little off-balance.

"Why do I belong here? Because I married you? Because I love you? And don't even think of bringing the kids into this. Jareth, I do love you. Can't you see that? I gave you everything inside me and you threw it away the next morning. If you don't want what I am, then what do you want? I don't know. You just take and take and never tell me anything. I don't know what you want."

Toby dropped his head into his hands, still sitting at the table, his own words ringing in his ears. He didn't want to think about it. It should never have been like this. In all Fiorle's stories, the lovers were reunited in the end. Love was supposed to win in spite of the pain so why did it feel like the pain was for nothing? He knew he was crying but he didn't care. Not any more. Jareth had seen him cry before and if he mocked him now for his weakness, then the mortal didn't care.

"I love you," he whispered again, "But you don't seem to see it. Why must I stay here when it's killing me?"

A small sound, as if Jareth wanted to block out those words and he looked up, to see the Goblin King standing still as a stone statue, his hands clenching and unclenching by his side, eyes wide with hurt and bewilderment.

"I'm mortal. I will die and I won't have lived. I wait all day for the children to be kind enough to come to me and I wait all night for a lover who doesn't want me. I told myself it was all right. I promised myself I could stand it. But I can't. I just want to go home, Jareth; I'm so sick of being lonely."

The Goblin King felt the tug as his chest tightened so hard he couldn't breathe. It felt like the world was ending around his ears. His vision was going hazy and he could barely make out shapes and colours any more. It hurt somewhere in his gut to hear this. His heart ached for Toby, but he was more concerned with what would happen afterwards. Toby would leave. He didn't know about the rules and the children… oh God, Aidan! He whimpered slightly in his throat, the sound sticking in his dry mouth at the thought of what his sweet son would endure.

He couldn't do that! He couldn't be that!

"Toby, no." His voice was hoarse, cracking with the strain. "You can't leave. Please, my elf, you can't."

Toby shook his head. "What will change if I stay? Will you even talk to me; try to find some common ground?"

It would be easy to say yes. He wanted to say yes and truly it would achieve what he was trying to accomplish if he said yes. Toby would stay. Aidan would be safe. He would get the energy to live on- Toby wouldn't even feel himself being drained. "No," he said, "I can't. You don't know what you ask of me."

"Am I so unattractive?" Toby snapped, "Or so boring? I'm sorry, but if we're not trying make this work then I'm leaving."

"Who will take care of the children? Of Aidan?"

Toby got up, his face set inharshlines. "I'm hardly here to be their nanny, Jareth. Besides, you're here. You're a good father and you can take care of them."

The most revolting thought of all! "No!"

"Yes, Jareth. I won't leave right away, but in a few days. If you want to chain me, I suggest you get on with it."

Jareth grabbed Toby's arm and yanked him closer, snarling in fear like any wild animal. "Don't you think I won't do it," he warned, "I will chain you if I have to."

Blue eyes looked straight into his, firing him instantly with the quiet assurance in them. "No, you won't. You don't like chains and you know I don't either. You won't be that cruel, no matter what else you do to me. I know you. You'll kill someone without thought, but you can't torture them. It's not in your nature."

"You don't know my nature…"

"I know you. Let go of me, Jareth. You don't have the right to touch me ever again." Toby tugged his arm out of the tight grasp and walked away, shutting the door softly behind him on his way out.

Jareth sank to the floor and tore at his shirt to get it off him. It was boiling hot where he was. He couldn't breath and his vision was deteriorating so fast that he couldn't see. He sank into unconsciousness without another word.