A/N: This chapter is being posted in the afternoon because I had to get ready to leave the house by 7:30 this morning. I like to get these chapters out in the morning, but not nearly as much as I like my sleep.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

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Samehada

Samehada's exploration was very fun. He climbed trees. He listened to birds. He tried to jump; it turned out he could not. He crossed the river back and forth just because he could, then dove into it and swam as far upstream as he could. He got out when the river became shallow and was crossed by a line of rock that made convenient stepping stones. He licked the air and detected nothing but happiness.

Samehada soon realized he was lost, of course. But he didn't mind. The world was a place to be explored, and if he stayed in the forest he was bound to come across something or someone that could lead him back home sooner or later. One of the friendly wolves! Yay! Happy friend yes good.

He took a nap in the sun around midday. When he woke up, he felt oogy and made his way back to the river, where the cool water refreshed him. So he wasn't affected by air or salinity like other sharks, but he could still be bothered by temperature. That was good to know. Samehada resolved not to fall asleep in the sunlight ever again, at least not when the sun was close. When it was far away, its heat would not be strong enough to bother him. But at that time of year, there would be snow. Could he be bothered by cold? When the sun moved away, he could find out!

The plants felt nice and friendly. The birds fluttered away into the trees when he approached and watched him, but not from fear. It tasted like a light, tangy sort of curiosity. What was there for a shark to be afraid of? There were no enemies around.

Samehada curled up in the shade between a tree's roots for another doze. Human Cousin scared. See enemies. Where? Where enemies? No enemies here. Maybe enemies in other world, world of mind, world humans have. Scary world! World of mind no good. Scary bad no-good world that can't be tasted. Grr. Human Cousin would be rescued from that world if it was the last thing Samehada ever did.

Itachi

"...and that's why intellectual property rights are so important."

Itachi and Ruta were out of the way now, beneath a tree. Ruta nodded. "I agree, but only with their principle, not with their execution."

"Oh, well, naturally."

"How can intellectual property rights be revised so as to give rights to the intellectual property? That is, to safeguard the wellbeing of the creations?"

"I propose an entirely new legal category. Currently, there are only three categories recognized in the legal system: human, animal and object. Intellectual creations fall into the third category. If they had a category of their own…"

The both of them, being much more suited to ideas than practice, soon ran their conversation aground. They had worked themselves up into a state of great idealism, but had no idea how to propose legal changes or get them put into place. While the flow of talk was interrupted, Itachi remembered what he had come to ask about. "Oh! I just remembered. How are the psychological services around here? I thought that you would likely know, given your eccentricities."

Ruta shook his head. "Seeing a doctor involves, like, planning and goal-directed action and money, and I don't do so well at any of those things."

"Ah. Have you made it to the planning stage, at least?"

Ruta nodded. "I know how to Google doctors and find out if they're in-network."

"I would be surprised if insurance companies exist in this world, or if they are relevant," Itachi said. "That sounds like exactly the sort of unnecessary plot-stopping hassle that would be left out."

"Great! So how do you find out if doctors are any good from their online reviews? The things that other people review about are probably not the things I care about."

"I know exactly what you mean…"

They determined that Konan was most likely on her own. Unless a character swung in to tell them all about a certain practice or they literally passed one in their travels around town, they were not going to realistically seek out help for her. "Unless we do."

"Unless you do!"

Wait a second, why did he not react when I described insurance companies as plot-stopping? Itachi asked Ruta this exact question. Ruta blinked. "I didn't actually notice that you said that."

"It was so normal to you that you took no notice of it?"

"Yup."

"Okay. So then, do you have any suggestions for what can be done, besides those we've already discussed?" He had told Ruta about Konan's plan to hide out at the northern campground.

"Hmm…" Ruta gave it his hardest thinking. "Does she get really involved in stuff, or really not involved?"

"That depends on her interest."

"Because if you found some big project for her to do…"

"I cannot think of anything that would require continuous action and not require any planning."

"Then I don't know. Sorry."

"It's alright. Talking to you has been a pleasure. Do the wolves treat you like a pup?"

"I've been told that's the way they look at me."

"Me too."

Ruta grinned. "You're cool! Visit again sometime?"

"If the plot allows for it."

Konan

Her discussion with Nagato was very refreshing. It produced some tears on her part, which she shed with no reservations. He listened to her and constructed a mental model of Original Hidan in his head, which he then told her his opinions of. They made jokes. It was wonderful.

"Where do you think he is now?" Nagato asked.

"There is only one place he can be."

"Fallen into that whirling energy thing I felt, his soul torn up, become part of it."

She nodded.

"It sounds like merging with his god is the happiest possible fate for him. At least he isn't suffering like you feared."

"Yes. I'm sure he is happy. Even so, I miss him."

She left Nagato's room invigorated and ready to advance her relationships. She found Hidan and Yahiko in the kitchen fixing food. They were fixing a lot of it, and all foods that could be described as discrete bite-sized units. Chunks of cooked meat, sliced vegetables, store-bought miniature brownies, and so on. "Best prep work ever," Deidara said to Konan with a grin. "This so beats oiling up machinery and guns." Kakuzu popped a brownie into his mouth and touched one cheek. He then complimented the choice of supplies, with no evidence of having chewed or swallowed.

"It's gonna take several rounds of prep work to have the whole group fully supplied," Hidan said. "But I don't mind!"

"We're doing the four of us now, yeah," Deidara said. "Then we were thinking there would be a separate session where everyone else gets the seals, and then another big cooking event to stock the seals."

"This would be a very useful advance back in my world. Sadly, there is no way to send a message."

"Aw well. At least we get to enjoy it," Hidan chirped.

Kakuzu cleared his throat. "The food seal releases whatever was last stored. I recommend mixing up the food you put into it, unless you want to get stuck with nothing to eat but half a box of brownies."

"Eugh." Hidan gagged. "Does anyone else find desserts gross? They taste good, but they upset my stomach and ruin my appetite."

"I experience that too," Nagato said as he entered the room behind Konan. "A single donut will keep my stomach quiet for hours. Considering that I'm a little thin to start with, that's not good."

Kakuzu laughed. "You have access to a weight loss cheat code, but only because you have no need for weight loss. The irony."

"I can eat a whole slab of liver in one meal though."

"Hidan, no. We're supposed to be stocking the food seals with healthy foods."

"I know, but I secretly asked to buy an extra slab of liver just on the off chance that I wanted one. All this talk about food is making me hungry. I'm claiming it."

He ended up sharing it with Konan. While she ate, Konan told the group chat of the seals and the plans for their use. She then requested an update from all group members as to their location and whether anything important had happened.

Itachi: I am at the Hatake camp with Ruta, preparing to leave. We have discussed the possibility of medical intervention for your episodes. It does not seem likely at this time.

Sasori: In my shed. I've got the central casing mostly designed and half built. Testing part of a limb now.

Kisame: Itachi, did you find Same?

Itachi: I did not.

Kisame: Damn. I'm chilling in the park with my sword. Nobody has said a word.

Kakuzu: Just so there's a record, I'm in the kitchen with Deidara, Yahiko, Hidan and Nagato.

Konan: Thank you all for the updates. This should be a regular occurrence in the future.

"Speaking of a healthy flow of information…" Kakuzu shot Konan a look. She immediately left the room. He followed her. When they were a good distance away, Kakuzu leaned in and whispered, "Are you planning to tell anyone that we have two more group members who could show up any day now?"

"I am not. Their world clones may be easily startled, and they are perceptive people who would sense it if everyone but them was hiding something of great importance."

"In other words, if we all knew, they would be intimidated and never join this group. Good thinking."

"I intend to treasure it while it lasts."

"Have you thought about it? Medication?"

Konan did not meet his eye. "I have not thought about it. I am in an ambivalent state where if someone were to provide it to me, I would probably try it, but I cannot bring myself to pursue it."

"Do you get any warning of these episodes?"

"Sometimes there are preceding signs. A sort of mild mania before the full-blown version sets in, if you will."

Kakuzu nodded. "You should put that in the chat so we all know what to look out for."

Konan did so. When she finished, Kakuzu was still there. "You know how likely I am to gossip when I'm not supposed to," he began. "Since I don't do that, there's no harm in telling me a little more about these missing group members. When have you mentioned them, by name and otherwise?"

"I do not wish to discuss them at this time."

"Why not?"

"Description of their originals ought to be saved for the funeral. It would be inappropriate for others to learn things about their previous selves before they do. They are the rightful heirs to whatever their originals leave behind, after all."

"Dammit. I can't disagree."

That marked the end of the conversation. Konan found herself with something unexpected: free time. What are my hobbies, again? She couldn't remember the last time she had done something just for personal enjoyment.

"What are you thinking about now?" Kakuzu asked.

"I don't know what to do for leisure time."

Kakuzu fired off a quick message in the group chat. "Luckily, someone did something about that." They went to the video game station. The games themselves were passé, but Kakuzu told her about the history and legacy of the sports depicted as they played. They had a nice discussion of the different proxies their respective worlds used to avoid war. It was fun.

General

That evening, Itachi installed more games onto the gaming station. Kisame fought Hidan in the backyard - not a real training battle, just a small clash to test their weapons. Hidan found the curved blades of his scythe to be very good at turning Kisame's sword away. Kisame cursed often. The only observer to their battle was Nagato - Yahiko invited Konan back to his house to play video games when he finished cooking. Kakuzu raised his eyebrows when she accepted. I never would have thought she'd be interested in that. She seemed more like me than like him regarding technology.

Konan revisited her save file on the game where she controlled a whole party of players. She soon got very absorbed into it. The lack of predictability was intoxicating. She could only guess at what each skill did and figure out what worked by experimentation. The lack of a clear quest line was also very nice. The game felt real, like more than just a silly game. She had never met anything like it before. "I don't think this can be called a game," she murmured. "A game is rolling balls into a circle to try to knock the others out. This is… This is writing come to life."

"I see playing games like this as elaborate reading," Yahiko agreed. "So I don't feel bad about it."

"Why would you feel bad?"

"Video games are said to be...um...not as adult as other activities? Not as mature? Not as useful, or worthy, or… Just not as good."

"This is one of the most beautiful inventions I have ever seen. A way to bring writing to life and fuse the author and reader into one creative act. Art brought to life. How could this not be good?"

"Not all video games are like this," Yahiko murmured. "Kakuzu looks down on me for playing them. I think he thinks I play those games where you run around shooting people, or complete the same quests over and over to get resources, or do a really short activity that you restart over and over. Most video games don't go anywhere or end. Hey, speaking of, there's this one game that's explicitly writing that I think you would enjoy. It's a choose your own adventure story, with music and graphics to build atmosphere. You would love it. But probably some other time."

While Konan and Yahiko discussed the beauty of video games, Kisame began to fret. "Are we sure Same's okay spending a night in the woods? It's getting dark…"

"The vampires could not penetrate his scales, even if they wanted to," Itachi reasoned. "Neither could any other kind of wild animal. While he may not be able to swim on land, let's not forget all the excellent reasons why sharks are top predators in the ocean. Same is more than capable of defending himself."

Kisame relaxed. "I'm worrying too much, aren't I?"

"You're very protective."

"I have to be. Who knows what danger lurks in the shadows."

"I like shadows," Hidan said. "They're good for hiding in."

Itachi checked the group chat. "With Konan and Yahiko gone and Sasori in his shed, there probably will not be a meeting tonight. Where is Deidara?"

Deidara took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, touched his cloak just to remind himself of its presence, then reached out a hand and touched the dark creepy basement wall that could be swarming with bugs. Clay stuck his beak through the hole in the lobby floor behind him, ready to haul him out.

"I dunno," Hidan said. "But he's fine. I'm sure of it."

.

The next morning, Konan called a group meeting. "There is no emergency," she said as everyone gathered in the sunroom. "I merely wish to get ahead of whatever might happen next."

"Good idea," Kisame said. "I have some thoughts."

"As I expected. Please share them."

"This town we live next to clearly has a lot of unknown shit hidden in it," Kisame said. "How about instead of wandering around and randomly bumping into them, we do some scouting?"

Konan nodded. "I support this plan. Since there are no pressing concerns today, I suggest we start immediately. Sasori, you are exempt. Your puppet building is too important." Sasori smiled. "As for the rest of you: Hidan, Nagato and Yahiko should form one scouting group. Itachi, Kisame and Kakuzu, another. Deidara and Laurie will form the third. I base these groupings on how well you agree with each other. Each group shall decide among themselves how and where to go. I will compile findings through the group chat."

"So we just decide what to scout out on a whim and go there as friends looking for fun shit to do?" Konan nodded. Hidan grinned. "All right!"

Deidara cleared his throat. "On a semi related note, I would like to report minimal nightmares from keeping my spiders in my room overnight, yeah. Is there anything I could use them for?"

"If you and Laurie think of anything, by all means."

"Great," Kisame said. "I had more ideas. Kakuzu, you talked to a vampire during the daytime. Do you think you can do it again? I'd rather not always wait for them to come to us."

"Hold up," Hidan interjected. "The tiger guy we went with has a vampire he's been texting. They probably hate surprises, so you should meet up with that tiger guy first and arrange shit."

Kakuzu nodded. "I like that a lot more than I like wandering into their territory willy-nilly and hoping it works out."

"While we're visiting allies, it would be good to put together an actual plan for what to do if the clone of a complete assface shows up," Kisame added. "I don't like 'well, we'll probably band together and stop them from hurting anyone.' No. That is not a fucking plan, and depending on the good side of human nature has never fucking worked in the past."

"We still have training battles to hold now that the weapons have arrived, don't we?" Itachi reminded them. "And before then, most of the group still needs to be inked."

"I think the bottle and a half I have should be enough," Nagato said. He clapped his hands. "Now then. Scheduling time. When is this all going to happen? I propose the inking of weapon seals and storing our weapons in said seals should happen first thing. Yahiko, Hidan and I can do it right after this meeting. Then we do the scouting. Kisame, Itachi and Kakuzu's group should decide where in town they need Kakuzu's expertise and go there first. That way, he's freed up early so he can talk to this vampire sometime before tonight. Making anti-jerkwad plans and holding training battles can be saved for another day. It looks like today is a day for scouting."

.

Nagato was very smart, so that was exactly what happened. Everyone elected to have a storage seal inked somewhere on their bodies so that they could not lose their possessions. Kakuzu's was on the front of his left shoulder so it could be covered easily. Deidara got his along the inside of his left forearm, and Yahiko along the inside of his right. Itachi, for some strange reason, elected to get his seal inked horizontally along the underside of his jaw. Yahiko had a lot of fun with that. Kisame and Konan agreed that was a horrible location, but kept their reservations to themselves. Kisame got his in a much more sensible location: the top of his left hand. Nagato conveniently disappeared at some point during this process. Konan learned later that he'd gotten Hidan to ink him on the top of the left thigh, where his reflexes already told him to reach for a nonexistent weapons pouch. And Sasori got his on the right breast, which Konan carefully avoided reacting to.

Then they split up into groups and went to town. Konan started charging her phone as soon as they left and raised the notifications volume. Deidara called Laurie and told her they were scouting the town for cool things; she thought that sounded awesome. Kakuzu led his team on a tour of his old neighborhood and places where he had previously run scams. Hidan and Yahiko led their team straight to the library to check out the reference room.

This is what Konan saw:

Nagato: Holy crap. The library is filled with things not from this world. We can't take them out of the library though. But seriously there are ghost books.

[Five minutes pass]

Itachi: Does the demon boy have ghost books in his possession? Also, the residential neighborhood appears to be entirely mundane.

Yahiko: I asked him. He said no.

[Eleven minutes pass]

Kisame: No unusual activity in the casino. Kakuzu says to ask Hidan about a pool place. We're checking out the bank now, and then Kakuzu's going to go meet the tiger guy.

Hidan: Nothing supernatural in the pool place, either.

[Eight minutes pass]

Deidara: I like the look of this dojo Laurie's been going to, yeah! Nothing supernatural here.

Itachi: Does it seem useful to anyone else?

Deidara: No, I think our free-form style is good enough for us. Scheduled lessons wouldn't work in this group, yeah.

Hidan: Heading to the bar. Gonna mingle and pick up leads.

Kisame: That is the worst place you could go!

Hidan: I've been in there lots and never gotten victimized except for the once.

Kisame: I was referring to the fact that you are useless in the presence of a demon no matter what form they're in. How are you going to gather leads?

Hidan: I've actually never met a demon at all except that one time. What's up with that?

Itachi: Perhaps you could not meet them in your false memories.

Nagato: Yahiko and I will cover him. Between us, we've got it under control.

Kisame: This sounds like the worst idea.

Hidan: We're already here. So nya.

[Fifteen minutes pass]

Kisame: Nothing supernatural around the bank. Kakuzu just left.

Deidara: Laurie and I've been walking around the southwest part of town, yeah. Nothing supernatural so far. But I saw two bicycles outside a taco stand.

Itachi: Everyone, keep an eye out for repeating patterns. It may not be obvious what is and isn't supernatural.

[Three minutes pass]

Deidara: Um, guys? I got the idea to check out the gas stations since Itachi hangs out there, and, uh… Has anyone noticed what they look like?

Kisame: What do they look like?

Deidara: Like an upside down triangle. And the town's basically circular. I'm high up on Clay's back looking at it now.

Kisame: …

Kakuzu: Fuck.

Itachi: I've long noticed the beauty of my gas station being directly south of the park. How did I not see it?

Nagato: Someone go check out the park.

Kisame: On it.

Hidan: Hey Kakuzu, the wolf people have maps. See if they have one that shows all of town. Mark the library on it and the bar, and all the gas stations. If there's some geographical shit going on we need to look at it.

Yahiko: Itachi, pay attention to the animals and plants in the park. They've behaved magically in the past.

Kisame: I assume since all three of you are posting, you haven't had trouble in the bar?

Nagato: No, and the bartender reminded us of something. We're splitting up. Hidan's going to investigate the park while Yahiko and I check out every religious site in town. Can't believe we forgot that.

[Ten minutes pass]

Hidan: At the park now. Where are you guys? I can't find you.

Itachi: Somewhere off the trails, I'm afraid. Travel through the trees.

Hidan: Found them!

Deidara: No supernatural activity at any of the gas stations. We really checked, yeah.

Nagato: We're having problems. NPCs don't recognize anything unusual as being unusual, so asking if anything unusual has ever happened here is getting us nowhere. I've gotten some answers by asking if this church has hosted any confirmed miracles, but I would have to witness any other kind of phenomenon myself to find out about it.

Itachi: How do they react when you ask about the supernatural? Just curious. I know traditional religious folk are supposed to have a bias against the word "supernatural" as being pagan or satanic.

[Two minutes pass]

Yahiko: No bias here. The priest didn't look at all offended. He's pretty sure the grounds are blessed by the souls of departed parishioners.

Itachi: So the hospital is not the only place to have ghosts. I have wondered why it seems to be the only haunted place around.

Hidan: The park plants are pretty, but dunno about supernatural.

Nagato: Heading to the local mosque.

Deidara: Speaking of NPCs, Laurie doesn't know what we're looking for or why, yeah. She's looking for ghosts, but that's all she can help me with.

Hidan: Hey everyone, keep an eye out for angels.

Yahiko: What do angels look like?

Hidan: Super nice, smiley, glowy?

Nagato: Like Yahiko, but even more.

Hidan: Like Yahiko, but also more mature and well adjusted than any human has the right to be.

Hidan: Kisame just asked if they're like a combination of Yahiko and me. I guess so.

Nagato: I might have just passed one. A girl delivering something to the mosque. She looked weirdly…right. Like she was doing exactly what she wanted to be doing and what she was supposed to be doing with her life.

Kisame: A delivery driver.

Yahiko: Absolutely!

Hidan: Posting my reply here for all to see: I am technically homeless.

Kisame: I retract my earlier insinuation that people doing disrespected jobs are anything less than magnificent.

Deidara: I just got a spooky sensation. I'm outside a museum. What place is more likely to have ghosts, yeah? Probably angry ghosts. Should I look?

Kisame: Some other team can check out that one.

Hidan [at the same time]: Go for it!

[Seven minutes pass]

Deidara: I'm pretty sure everything in this museum is possessed and/or magical. That helmet wants me to wear it.

Itachi: Don't.

Deidara: Wasn't going to, yeah.

Nagato: Kakuzu, if you're listening, mark the museum on the map too. This was a great idea, and we should have done it a long time ago. Why do we know so little about where we live?

.

A/N: Because I do.

Anyone who wants to know more about angels can check out my other story, In Search Of Demons. Angels are characters there. They do stuff.

The game Yahiko describes that's basically a Choose Your Own Adventure story with music and graphics added is Mutant Uprising, an online game. It's a horror adventure, with some parts that are a little gross, but not too much. Like, "long lines of acidic saliva dribbling onto the carpet and burning holes" level of gross. Some cows that have mutated into unearthly flesh beings. I recommend it.

And that's all I have to say here. See ya next week!