Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'Rock n' Roll With Me'. It's a fabulous song from the fabulous 'Diamond Dogs' album and I only use it here as a humble tribute to an artist and a genius.
Author's Note: I know it's long, but I felt you guys deserved it. Hope you had a great Christmas and I hope you have a great New Year.
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The song had been playing for far too long. Over and over and it still didn't sound right. The garage was thankfully sound proofed, but Jareth was beginning to feel his fingers itch. What was more, there was a spare guitar lying by the left wall- just under the tools- and he had a few ideas in his head that were driving him wild.
The second guitarist, supposedly in the act of carrying out the basic melody, screeched badly out of tune.
It was like having a needle driven through the most horrendously sensitive points of his body again. "Harvey, may I suggest something?"
The boy looked pathetically grateful. "They're making me crazy," he whispered, "Please tell them you hate the way it sounds and you think we should change it."
The Goblin King smiled a knowing little smile. "Hand me that guitar and get rid of your friend there and you have a deal."
The rest of the afternoon passed as a blur. The clock sped as if the white hand was pushing time faster and ever faster. The sun set early as was its wont in the cold season and the snow-laden clouds gathered overhead. One by one the dazed band members left, leaving two males talking technique and embellishment in a huddle over an acoustic guitar and a pile of papers.
"Your lyrics are fine…"
"I hated that line. But I want the rhythm left in…"
"Maybe if you had a slide here instead of a lick…"
"Deeper bass on this part…"
"Know someone who plays the horn…?"
"Know someone who plays the sax…"
"Even better! Bring it in here…"
"No! That part's fine… here…"
"… got to be kidding! Best part of the whole sodding song right here and the brat wants to change it…"
"Fuck off! This is not open for discussion…"
"Won't even listen…"
"Stubborn old…"
"Watch your tongue, whelp, or you might lose it…"
"Oooh! This part here! Brian never gets it right…"
"Change your drummer, mate. Other one's no good…"
"… shift Vin to the drums… no good on lead…"
"Ever tried lead…?"
"Don't have the talent…"
A nod from the dirty blond head and Jareth brushed his hair out of his eyes once more. The longish strands were silky fine and swept in maddening waves on his neck, too short to do anything with and too long to stay out of the way. It pissed him off. But it still looked good.
The scrawling, arrogant hand drifted quickly across the heavily laden papers, crossing out notes and then adding new ones. The light from the tiny window had died, leaving the naked bulb in the centre and the tube-lights over the workbench as the only sources of illumination in the tidy place.
Which made no difference. Jareth had seen this process done in the most inopportune moments of time. Some of the best work he had ever heard had been written when the artists were so hampered by their environments, their music was their only escape.
Harvey's agile fingers moved over the keyboard or the guitar, his voice humming out bars or trying new words in his mouth. Jareth simply acted as a catalyst, drawing more and more out of the boy and then prodding and poking it to twist the information into a shocking result.
Dinner came far too quickly and Ben found them still furiously working, two voices rising in harmony and the Goblin King sitting in his garage without the irritation of his glamour, black and grey clothing in poetic disarray as he swept the instruments into playing magically all by themselves so Harvey could test his new musings.
"Not now, Dad. We'll be there in a minute," Harvey grunted.
Jareth shrugged at Ben. "If we get too hungry, I'll get us some food," he compromised, "Will that do?"
Ben didn't bother to fight it. "Have it your way. Toby's back, by the way."
Interest dragged instantly away from the mayhem as mismatched eyes refocused on the man. "How is he?" Jareth questioned. He didn't believe that anything bad would have happened because he would feel it and Toby would call. But, as he'd once told Archer, there were times when his little bond mate was more likely to run scared than see sense.
"He seems very happy with the visit," Ben replied, "Said he had a great time and there'd been a lot to catch up on."
Jareth nodded and went back to his musings. Harvey was grinning like an imbecile and punching the air, so he assumed that something had come right. "Right. What have you fucked up now?" the half-goblin asked mockingly.
If Ben found the Goblin King's language unnecessarily coarse, he never mentioned it. Instead, he wisely left them alone and joined his annoyed wife at the dinner table. Cassie and her friends had taken Arradine and Aidan out dancing and Ereditha was sleeping over with Elaine's daughter, so it was just the five adults. Indeed, Ben realized that if he hadn't been sitting right there, it would be only the Williams' family once more.
The thought seemed to have occurred to the others as well, because the conversation was slightly stilted.
Ben gave up. There was just one thing to do in a situation such as this- "You know, I have a wonderful bottle of red wine for anyone who wants some. I think we can all do with a drink."
The bottle came out- looking like any other bottle- and was duly uncorked and poured into glasses with a generous hand and distributed. It was drunk.
And the next bottle was opened…
"They have no idea?" Karen gasped, glass in her hand and her blue eyes wide, "How ridiculous are they?"
Toby snorted and licked the cream from his spoon. "People don't get it unless you spell it out for them. They thought I lived in London and worked in security! They honestly did! And Harmony told me that it was so great what I was doing for Jareth."
Sarah seemed to find that the most amusing. "If she only knew!"
Toby dissolved into laughter as well and Harold sobered up enough to frown distastefully- "Damn it all, we know well enough about you two! We don't want to hear any more!"
"I do," Sarah countered shamelessly, "What are you giving Jareth for Christmas?"
"Something special," Toby replied mysteriously, gulping wine with a Cheshire cat smirk.
"Like what?"
"I'll give you a hint- it's metal. And it ties him hand and foot to my whims."
"Eeew!"
"Toby, give it a rest, son."
"But it does!"
"God, you two and your games. You're lucky my granddaughter survived that habit." Karen stood up and left her blushing son to pile the dishes into the dishwasher.
Toby looked down at the ring on his left hand. He'd only recently begun to wear it, Armand having returned it to Jareth with a stony apology and stiff diplomacy. He remembered getting it the first time and it was a bittersweet memory to him.
"The only actual gift he's given me," the mortal murmured, holding the ruby stone to the light, "And he never actually gave it to me. He meant to; it was tradition. It's given to the monarch's consort with the birth of the first child and heir. But Arradine had colic so he threw it at me and went back to rubbing her tummy."
Ben took the ring from him and looked at it, tracing over the winding spiral of flexible silver that moved like rubber. "What's the metal?"
"Daas hira," Toby supplied, "Water silver. Really expensive armour for the nobles or the rich is made from this stuff. It's just normal silver, but they treat it with something. Only three races knew how to make it- the elves, the dwarves and the river sprites. Only the river sprites make it now. This ring is priceless in the Underground for what it symbolizes."
"What does it symbolize," Harold asked, curious. He had the feeling that he would not want to know, but facts were facts and he didn't shrink from them.
"It symbolizes the event of a successful birthing," his son said wryly, "The words in the band are an avowal of approval and legitimacy. The runes in the stone are for fertility. Sarah, you'll be happy to know that the word for fertility and peach are the same in the Old Language."
"Ah! That explains his Royal Majesty's fascination for that bloody fruit." She raised an exuberant, if somewhat sloppy, hand to toast the person in question's health before downing the entire glass. Her husband firmly took it away after that.
But Toby had to have the last laugh on this one. "Actually, he just likes sucking the juice from the peaches."
"Eeeew!"
"Let it go, Toby."
"We really didn't want to know, dear."
"But it's true!"
Sarah growled and threw an orange at him. It missed him by a mile, his reflexes moving him far away from the edible missile before it struck. In answer, he stuck his tongue out and had to dodge another flying orange. The fruit seemed strangely inclined to migrate in his sister's house.
"So you're getting him handcuffs, huh. Kind of pointless, I'd think."
Blue eyes blinked in innocent horror. "Who said anything about handcuffs? I do not go around buying handcuffs!"
"You bought a whip," Ben pointed out, "You spent ages searching for just the right one!"
"That was for Fiorle," Toby protested, "His old one is frayed. Honestly! If it's not Jareth thinking I'm sleeping with all and sundry, it's someone else thinking I let my husband whip me! And then get off on it! Thank you very much, but the only stripes on my back were gotten unwillingly!"
That effectively dried off the mood.
Karen opened her mouth to say something but closed it again, turning her face away to stare out the window. Ben and Sarah had exchanged glances and were now both diverting themselves by clearing up. Harold sipped cautiously at the remainder of his wine and stared straight ahead. None of them liked to remember the last time Toby had been in the Aboveground.
"Look, it's no big deal, okay? It happened. I'm sorry I brought it up."
"Rubbish," Karen sighed, smiling brightly at him, "It was just a statement. You don't have to apologize."
"No, I know you don't want to think about it…"
"The scars haven't faded?" his father interrupted quietly.
Toby bit his lip and contemplated lying. It never worked with his dad. Harold could spot his lie in an instant. "A lot haven't," Toby admitted, touching his stomach, "I still have the knife scars and the whip marks. Very little else, though. I'm lucky."
"Nightmares?"
"Not so often." He could say that with rare conviction. He didn't get nightmares so often any more. Archer didn't always appear in his dreams, now, but some hallucinations were to be expected. He'd spoken to Lorelei and the dwarf healer had told him the nightmares would exist for as long as Archer's magic or spirit traces continued to haunt the Castle. And the Castle had seen the fae nobleman for a long time. Nevertheless, the nightmares were fading.
"Jareth must be good for you, then." Ben's joke was a weak one, but it was effective.
The Goblin King's consort leaned back in his chair with a contented sigh. "He's never seemed to care about either scars or nightmares. The only one he even notices any more is the one here." He touched his stomach. "He doesn't like the fact that I put a knife in myself."
"I don't like the fact," Karen said bluntly, "Neither does your father or your sister. I can't even imagine how you would believe death was better than letting us help you."
Sarah made hasty shushing noises and Toby chose to ignore that. There were too many things to think about other than what had happened eighteen years ago. The ring on his finger told him that there had been other trials faced and beaten down. The way his body moved told him he'd learned to cope with them. No, life had not been fair to him; it had been downright hostile. But life had given him compensations.
'It all depends, my elf, on how you behave in the next three weeks…'
Oh, Toby remembered those words. It had been hard not to.
'We can be just friends to those who don't know. I do not care.'
And he remembered those too. Well, he'd behaved badly. After everything they'd been through, he'd baulked at introducing Jareth as his lover. Something so simple! Surely after three children, a kidnapping, a rescue, a wedding, those long nights of slow passion, it should have been easy to say, "Guys, I'd like you to meet the man I'm living with. We've been together since I was sixteen and he's the reason I didn't finish high school. I love him."
It should have been easy.
But it really wasn't. In high school, he'd been straight. He'd dated a cheerleader and while he'd been a loner, he'd always been welcomed easily enough into every circle on campus except for the intellectuals. He just couldn't work up an interest in studies. Even sports, much as he hated it, was alright because he had every American boy's basic grounding in football, basketball and baseball. Elaine had dragged him to all the latest parties. He'd been known, even if quietly and in a vaguely mysterious kind of way.
And now he was gay. He liked to spread his legs for another man. He didn't do anything except wait on Jareth's pleasure and care for the mundane affairs of the Castle or the Goblin City and care for the three children they raised. He was nothing more than a glorified housewife. Him! He who had argued semantics and philosophy as a matter of course; he who had made a career out of leaving sketches and quick drawings behind him wherever he went. And now the mystery was stripped away. And he was just Jareth's little fuck-toy. That was all.
The Goblin King had had lovers during the ten years they'd spent apart. He'd admitted to having slept with a few wished-aways and even a goblin serving woman when he'd been so royally drunk he couldn't even crawl on his own. But they'd all been one-night-stands and Toby hadn't had the heart to grudge his lover that relief.
Therefore, it was to be expected that there would probably be other times in the unknown future when Jareth would find his release with someone else. Toby wouldn't ever leave the Underground, but the threat of not being enough was an ugly one.
To be fair, Jareth himself had never supported it. He was every thing that was loving. As he had promised, when Toby placed himself body and soul into Jareth's hand, Jareth did everything in his power to make him happy. The Goblin King seemed genuinely willing to turn the world upside down for his bond mate. No one could be more attentive, more romantic, more fun to be around.
But that was when Toby was useful to him. How long before they slept in separate bedrooms again? And there would be no more joyful little children to meld their relationship into something stronger; at least not from Toby's body. Ereditha's birth had been so horrendous that Lorelei said he'd either never conceive again or would miscarry if he did. His mortality could only adapt in certain ways.
So what was he to do?
"Toby, what does Ereditha's name mean?" Sarah.
He focused his eyes on his sister and squinted, as if trying to see her down a long, dark tunnel. "Sorry?"
"Ereditha. We know Arradine means Dusk, and I know why Jareth named her that. We know Aidan was named for Jareth's grandfather or great-grandfather or something. But Ereditha… you never told us."
The tunnel settled back to reality. Toby grinned and yawned behind his hand, taking his time to get to the explanation. "Ereditha was a Goddess in the Past Age. The Underground doesn't hold with religion any more, but she used to be very important."
"Have some coffee. What was she the Goddess of?"
"Hope," Toby revealed, "Legend has it that it was the Goddess Ereditha who first created the Cosmic Equation. In the Pre-Dawn days, both this world and the Underground were joined as one realm. And everyone lived in peace. Only the mortals began to get petty and argumentative. So the Gods split the realms, hoping to keep the immortals- their favourites- free from the bad influence of us mortals. Ereditha opposed this. She said that evil was an infection that knew no bounds and it had merely found a weak target in mortals and we were to be pitied, not shunned, because of it. Anyway, long story short, she created the Cosmic Equation in order that immortals could form a perfect relationship without the hassle of fickle emotion. She wove magic so that it would find a rest in togetherness, and originally those bonded were formally bound because that was how Ereditha intended it."
"So Ereditha brought hope to the Underground," Sarah sighed, "By creating ways that two people could find perfect happiness and balance?"
"Yes. It's not quite as romantic as all that, though, because- as I can testify- the intensity of the relationship was too much for volatile magical creatures, so they simply stopped it happening. They split bonds and formal bindings. The best way to describe it is by comparing it to sex and marriage up here- you can marry someone, but you don't need to have sex only with your spouse. In the Underground, you can be formally bound to someone, but you don't have to bind with them."
A loud singing was gradually growing closer and so the five in the room quietened down and weren't surprised to see Harvey burst in, bright-eyed and red with cold, covered with a fine dust of snow. "I'm hungry," he announced, breaking off in mid-lyric.
"How'd the song go?" Sarah called out. She'd not liked the fact that Harvey wanted to hold band practise in her garage two days before Christmas for no apparent reason, but she was willing to be supportive. The youth really did live for his music.
"Man, Jareth's been a great help. Now, if I can get a decent band, I'm all set," her son shouted back, head thrust into the recesses of her fridge as he foraged for food. "Where'd everyone go?"
"Cassie took them out dancing," Toby called back, getting to his feet and waiting for his vision to settle and his blood to stop dancing. Three bottles of wine could have that effect.
His nephew raised an eyebrow and chortled. "If she's trying to set them up with dates, she'd going to have a hard time. She doesn't know anyone gay and Aidan sure isn't going to find a guy in one of Cassie's nightclubs! Arradine, maybe, but not Aidan. Hope he likes dancing a lot."
Toby grinned and tapped his head. "I'm smart, doofus. Why'd you think I said yes? I know Cassie's friends. That girlfriend of yours was offering to set ME up with someone!"
"Oh! Speaking of which," Harvey said casually, "Jareth's still in the garage. He said to let you know where he was. He said he'll be late tonight. Should I know why?"
"No, you should not," Karen said sharply, "Now stop being cheeky and get out of here. Your friends left a message for you on the phone."
A resounding kiss on the cheek and the woman tsked briskly as her grandson leapt away in a very good humour. Toby only made a vague farewell and told his parents to go home without him. "If it's okay with Sarah and Ben, I'll stay with Jareth for a while."
They nodded.
Toby left. The snow was just beginning to fall and the wind had picked up, flinging the flakes into his face with a taunting hand. But the garage wasn't more than a few steps away and what Toby heard made him smile. It wasn't what Harvey had been working on, but something completely different:
"You always were the one that knew… they sold us for the likes of you… I always wanted new surroundings… a room to rent… while the lizards lay crying in the heat…"
Lizards? Well, that was a first! It sounded like something Jareth had written a while ago. But something about this song had different cadences to anything else Toby had ever heard before. It was very definitely a mortal song quite apart from the language used, but it also carried a very personal feel. A kind of raw power that had been refined without losing any of its meaning. Very much like Jareth's magic.
"When you rock n' roll with me… no one else I'd rather be… Nobody here can do it for me… I'm in tears again… when you rock n' roll with me…"
The mortal paused and shivered as the music hit a crescendo and then smashed back down. Like the waves in a storm. Like making love. Only Jareth's arms were always there for that drop. And just like those time, his voice picked up once more, soothing and caressing back to safety.
"Gentle hearts are counted down… the queue is out of sight and out of sounds… me, I'm out of breath but not quite doubting… I've found a door which lets me out…"
No, Toby agreed silently, still standing outside the garage and listening, no more doubts now. He'd told Elaine and his old friends. A few had been shocked. A few thought it was all a barrel of laughs. They'd all get over it and if they didn't, he wouldn't care. Because, yes, he was going back to a place he loved with people he loved. So what did all this matter? Not a thing, so long as his bond mate kept singing with that raw silk voice and a mouthful of dreams.
"When you rock n' roll with me… no one else I'd rather be… nobody down here can do it for me… I'm in tears again… when you rock n' roll with me…"
God, that crescendo again! Toby's ears were burning and his heart pounded in his chest. He found himself running his hands over the door, unable to open it because this was something too private for even him to witness without invitation, but unable to walk away because he needed that comfort once more. How had his King done this to him? How could he break him apart with a simple song or a few words? Only Jareth. God, but he loved his husband!
He let out a silent cry of need and the door swung open almost instantly, Jareth's arms wrapping around him like a warm blanket, cloaking him from the cold.
The words were gone but the music continued. He was pulled inside and held. That hadn't ever happened for him before- to just be held for forever and a day. The instruments continued to play by themselves.