Chapter Three:

Betrayal. That was the first thing he felt after the initial shock wore off. Why had he never been told? Why had he been left in the dark all this time?

Had they thought he was too immature to understand? Or maybe they believed that somehow he would be disgusted.

He looked back down at the picture lying there on the floor. Never had he seen that much life and happiness in Remus' eyes. Sighing he picked it up and rubbed off a thin layer of dust.

Remus waved at him as Sirius' tongue wiggled against his cheek. Harry laughed. They looked so young and happy, totally oblivious to the years of hardship ahead of them.

Harry felt the pit of his stomach sink. He wondered if he'd ever be that happy. There wasn't a sign of worry on either of their faces, and it seemed that was all that Harry was ever doing. Worrying.

What was Voldermort up to? May I die today? Will my friends die? Will I fail the prophecy?

These thoughts bounced about his already jumbled head on a regular basis. The only time he ever had any reprieve from them was as he slept, but even then they came back in different forms. On more than one occasion he had woken up bathed in hot, sticky sweat.

Feeling jealous he set the picture on his bed next to the journal and decided to come back to them later.

His attention moved to the box again. He reached his hand in and pulled out a folded scarlet robe. They were a set of old quidditch robes. Embroidered across the back was 'J. Potter.'

Harry caressed his fingers across the raised lettering. He wondered if it would fit him. Quickly he threw it on over his emerald jumper. It was an almost perfect fit. A bit loose in the shoulders but that didn't matter much.

The robes had a reminiscent scent of cologne and sweat. Harry buried his nose into his shoulders and breathed it in.

A memory came back to him.

'Please go to sleep Harry,' James pleaded as he held a crying Harry in his arms. 'Just snuggle up and sleep.' He had black rings under his eyes.

Lily walked in and smiled at Harry who was staring over his father's shoulder. His tears instantly stopped and a small yawn escaped his mouth.

Harry curled up against his father's chest and drifted of to sleep. Those smells of cologne and sweat were filling his little nose.

Harry smiled at the memory and walked over to the wardrobe. He opened up one of the doors and studied himself. It was eerie how alike his appearance was to that of James'.

He was so engrossed in this thought that he didn't hear the door behind him open.

"It's a bit late to be playing quidditch isn't it?"

Harry nearly jumped through the ceiling. A tinkle of laughter filled the room.

Grinning, he turned around to face his best friends on this planet. The void he felt while they were gone instantly filling up.

"Did you guys have a nice time?" Harry asked shutting the wardrobe.

Ron's ear began to glow pink. "Well it went fine if you enjoy watching your brother's snogging their girlfriends the whole night."

"Honestly Ron," Hermione said, sitting on the edge of Harry's bed. "It wasn't the whole night. More like a good fraction of it."

"Anyway it would've been better if mum had let Harry chaperone. But she said that it was preposterous. We needed more adult supervision. That turned out well."

"You need to stop being so cynical, Ron," Hermione stated. Harry rolled his eyes. He wondered if there was a moment when they weren't bickering. "So much negativity isn't good for your health."

Ron was about to retort but Harry threw his hand over his mate's mouth. "Would it hurt either of you to not fight for more the five seconds?"

"Sorry Harry," Hermione said looking behind her at the box. "So what have you been up to? Packing for something." She looked pointedly at the box.

"And what's with the musty Quidditch robe?" Ron added, plopping down onto the bed next to Hermione.

"Actually that's a box of Sirius' and my dad's old stuff. Remus brought it down here in hopes that it would cheer me up. And the robe was my father's."

"That's awesome," Ron said turning around to study the stuff. The first thing he picked up was the picture of Remus and Sirius. For a second he just stared it then began to laugh. "Sirius really did enjoy to joke around." He showed the picture to Hermione, still laughing.

Harry stared at Ron thinking his laughter seemed a bit forced. Hermione took the picture, giggling slightly. Ron picked up Sirius' journal.

"They were so cute together," she whispered sadly caressing Sirius' picture.

'She knew?' Harry felt his anger at not being told rise again. 'I was his godson. How come I didn't know?'

Hermione looked up into his eyes and saw the anger and jealousy in them. "I could just tell," she stated, looking back down at the picture. "It was rather obvious when you saw them together."

That made Harry feel stupid.

"Call it girl intuition," Hermione added.

That must be one of those many mysteries that Hermione was always trying to explain to him and Ron.He still didn't know why she didn't put it all in a book. He knew tons of guys that would love to figure out the secrets of the female mind. She could be rich.

"Call what girl intuition?" Ron asked looking up from the journal.

"Oh never mind, Ron." Hermione said in exasperation. "We were just talking. You don't always have to know what's going on."

"Hermione," Harry warned, raising his eyebrow. "What did I say about being good?"

"Right. So Ron anything interesting in that old journal?" Hermione asked pleasantly, looking down at the page Ron had it open to.

"I'll say." He looked up at Harry. "You're dad and Sirius make Fred and George look like absolute angels. Listen to this.

"'Last night James and I slipped into Filch's office and set off a load of dungbombs. But not before stealing all of the confiscated items, which we strategically placed in Snape's quidditch locker. I can't wait to see his face during Broom flying this afternoon when they all come tumbling onto his greasy head. Filch is in a rage so Snape will definitely be busted for it. No questions asked. It is going to so awesome. Well McGonnagall is yelling at me to listen so I'd better go.'

"These guys were bloody geniuses," Ron laughed jumping ahead to the next page to see if Snape had been busted.

'Oh yes absolutely brilliant,' Harry thought, remembering the scene he had witnessed in Snape's pensieve.

"Filch fell for it!" Ron shouted, bursting into a bout of loud laughing. "Snape was given a week of detentions. Though Sirius supposed he only got off so lightly was because Filch had an idea that it wasn't Snape. But he didn't know whom so he used Snape as his scapegoat. We should so try this on Draco."

"That is actually rather tempting," Harry said walking over to the box and looking inside of it.

"Oh Ronald that is so immature. Why can't you just grow up?" Hermione snapped grabbing the journal from him. "Let's see if there is something a little more mellow in here to read about Sirius."

She flipped to the back and studied the page she had turned to. As she read her cheeks began to glow with embarrassment. "Well that was a bit too informative," Hermione said uncomfortably shutting the journal.

"What? Was he talking about shagging a girl?" Ron asked hopefully trying to wrestle the journal from Hermione's grip.

"Not exactly." She gave Harry a knowing look. Harry laughed. He wondered if Remus knew what was written in the journal when he had brought it to him.

"He wasn't talking about some weird sado stuff? Was he?" Ron pulled away from the journal like it was the plague.

"Harry are you up there?" Someone shouted form the hallway, the voice was full a sadness and age.

"Yeah!" Harry yelled, folding up his father's robe.

Remus stepped into the room. His face was puffy and red, as if he had been crying.

"Oh my god," Hermione gasped, looking at Lupin's face. "What's happened?"

Remus stared at them for a second trying to collect himself. "Kingsley is dead."