Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong solely to J.K. Rowling. I have no affiliation with J.K. Rowling, the cast of the Harry Potter movies, or anyone else having to do with Harry Potter. The story line and most of the lines belong to Warner Brothers, and the creators of FRIENDS. I have no affiliation with any of them either.
Background Information: From a fanfiction standpoint, it's post-Hogwarts. From the story standpoint, Ron and Hermione are together, but no one knows but Fred, who spied for a while on them until he was caught. Ron and Hermione are fairly embarrassed and ashamed of their relationship after all those years of being friends, so they don't want anyone finding out. Hermione, Ron, Harry, Ginny, Fred, and Luna are celebrating New Years for the first time together, and Ginny and Hermione have decided to throw a party outside the burrow. (I couldn't find a character for George...let's say he's spending the holidays and New Years' with his girlfriend.) Ginny and Harry went out all the year before, but it ended awkwardly, although they managed to salvage their friendship.
Cast (who the Harry Potter characters represent)
Pheobe Buffay - Luna Lovegood
Chandler Bing - Ron Weasley
Monica Gellar - Hermione Granger
Ross Gellar - Harry Potter
Rachel Green - Ginny Weasley
Joey Tribbiani - Fred Weasley
The party was a hit so far, and it was almost midnight. Fred
Weasley watched the sky excitedly. He jumped over to Ron and Hermione,
who were standing sadly, shuffling their feet. "Alright! 1999, Fred's year!" he shouted excitedly. Ron and Hermione nodded.
"Why? What's the matter? You two, of all people, should be happy!" Ron leaned forward so that only Fred could hear.
"Hermione and I wanted to kiss at midnight...but no one else is
going to! Wouldn't that look suspicious?" Ron explained. Fred nodded.
"Uh...I might be able to help," Fred said and walked over to
Harry, who was mesmorized by the Fire Crackers Fred had put on show.
"Er, Harry...who are you kissing at midnight?" Fred asked. Harry looked at him disgustedly.
"What? Do I have to kiss someone?" he asked. Fred nodded.
"Uh, yeah...of course. So Ron's kissing Hermione, and you can't kiss a
guy, and I can't kiss my sister...you have to kiss Ginny," Fred replied.
"Wait, why is Ron kissing Hermione?" Harry asked suspiciously. Fred looked around nervously.
"Well..uh, he can't kiss Ginny - that's his sister! He'd rather
kiss Hermione then Luna," Fred explained. Harry shrugged. Then, his
eyes glowed with another question.
"Are you sure Luna's going to be fine with you? You don't think she'll think something of it?" Harry asked. Fred shrugged.
"I'll..I'll explain it to her," Fred said, then called, "Ginny! Get
over here!" Ginny, who'd been talking to Dean Thomas as a fellow party
guest, shot Fred an annoyed glare before walking over there.
"I was having a nice conversation, and you just ruined it. What?" Ginny snapped.
"Uh, you have to kiss Harry at midnight. Good luck with that," Fred said quickly before rushing over to Luna.
"Luna, I have to kiss you at midnight," Fred explained quickly.
Luna smiled shyly. "No, no...see, everyone has to kiss someone. Ron
took Hermione already because neither Ron nor I can kiss Ginny. So I'm
stuck--er, erm--put with you." Luna nodded and stood by swinging her
glass of pumpkin juice around. She seemed just a little disappointed.
Then he started to shout along with the crowd..."Alright, everyone -
three! Two! One! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" All the trees and other plant life
around the outside exploded into confetti and fireworks. The three
pairs kissed into the new year and quickly hugged each other good
wishes, even though Hermione and Ron's lasted a little more then that
New Year five-second peck.
"So,
Harry, what's your resolution?" Hermione asked as she went around
cleaning up the burrow after all the guests had gone home or to the
nearest pub.
"Resolution? I'm going to say I have to do something new
everyday," Harry finally decided. "It's my first year living with my
best friend instead of in hell. I'm going to do something to enjoy
myself, with the war over and all."
"Amazing how calm you can be with the war," Ginny commented. She pat
Harry on the back as she passed by. "It's not like you didn't do
anything! You put the end to the war. You organized us and fought
back."
"Don't bring down the happy, Ginny," Fred snapped. Ginny scoffed
as she continued to help Hermione pick up. Luna was sitting down on the
ground and spoke up.
"My goal is to pilot a muggle jet!" she announced. Everyone turned to stare at her.
"A jet? You mean...the plastic bird with the fire crackers strapped
to the bottom? Good one, Luna," Ron said sarcastically. "Now you just
have to find a planeload of muggles who's New Year's Revolution - " -
Hermione coughed, 'Resolution' under her breath and continued on her way - " - Resolution...is to plumet to their deaths." Luna crossed her arms.
"Maybe your resolution should be not to make fun of your friends!" she
cried. "Especially the ones who may be flying you overseas for free."
Hermione and Ginny laughed.
"Ron, Luna has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying into
the moonlight then you do of not making fun of us," Hermione giggled.
Harry chuckled with her.
"She's absolutely correct, Ron. I bet you fifteen galleons that
you can't go the entire year without making fun of us," Harry said. Ron
opened his mouth but before he could say anything, he continued, "No,
better yet, make that a week!" Ron let out a loud laugh.
"I'll take that bet!" Ron shouted, grabbing Harry's hand to shake
it. "In fact, paying me the fifteen galleons can be the 'new thing you
do that day'!" Harry smiled and held out his hand, asking for the bet's
payment. "Starting right now..." Fred snickered.
"This will be interesting," Fred scoffed. "Well, my new year's resolution is to perfect an amateur's prank book."
"I could help you with that!" Luna piped up. "Yeah...I grew up in a
writing office." Fred looked at her unsurely, but finally nodded.
"Sure, why don't you help me?" Fred accepted with a smile. Hermione smiled and stood up proudly.
"My New Year's resolution is to not be so obsessed with the organization of everything," Hermione said proudly. Ginny nodded.
"Great idea," Ginny said mockingly. She picked up her purse and dumped out all the contents to the ground.
"No!" Hermione shrieked. The rest of the friends chuckled. Hermione
crossed her arms uncomfortably. "Or something else." Ginny picked up a
pair of glasses. It had large, burgundy, plastic frames.
"Oh, I think this is Edmond Folski's. I'm sure he'll need these to keep
an eye on his new girlfriend...after all, I hear that for an owner of a
robe shop, she ironically hasn't seen much interest in robes around
other people...if you know what I mean," Ginny laughed with a wink.
Hermione stopped cleaning and walked up to Ginny.
"Ginny," she said, "maybe your resolution should be to..er, gossip..less." Ginny giggled as if Hermione had said something unreasonable.
"Gossip? I don't gossip," Ginny said defensively. The rest
of the friends couldn't help suddenly burst into a quick fit of
laughter. Ginny chuffed and looked around accusingly at her best
friends and siblings. "You think I gossip? No, no..I don't gossip!
Maybe I hear information, then pass it on to other people. Like a
public service! Do you think The Daily Prophet is a gossip column?"
Hermione nodded.
"Well, if all The Daily Prophet talked about was their brothers'
diary entry, then yes," Hermione agreed. Ginny threw her hands up in
the air.
"He admitted to sleeping with a stuffed owl since he was nine!" Ginny shrieked. All turned to look at the humiliated Ron, who had slouched down in his seat and was blushing furiously.
"I hate you," he muttered to Ginny. Ginny ignored him.
"Fine, I won't gossip. This will be easy," Ginny mumbled. Hermione laughed at her best girl pal.
"You have never kept a goal for more then two hours, when you
promised yourself you wouldn't eat your mum's fresh baked cookies,"
Hermione remarked. "Let's see, what was your resolution last year?"
Ginny thought, until her faced showed the expression of rememberance.
Hermione nodded. "I believe it was...to relieve Mrs. Weasley of all her
household chores?" She turned to Ron and inquired of him specifically,
"When was the last time Ginny made any food to be eaten? Picked up any
of her mess? Made sure the household sheets had been cleaned?" Ron
shrugged.
"Never," he finally replied.
"Mum wouldn't let me," Ginny exclaimed. Fred got up from his seat and walked towards his sister.
"What are you talking about? All mum ever talked about when I was
living here was how we were all irresponsible and never did the
housework." Luna shook her head.
"I hate gossip," Luna stated. "In my sixth year at
Hogwarts, Pansy Parkinson said some really mean stuff about me and I
finally had enough. Remember when Pansy was accused of setting fire to
Draco's broom? I did that, and framed her!"
"What did she keep saying?" Harry asked for the sake of being polite and interested, even though he knew the answer.
"She kept saying I was crazy! I guess she got her feed, huh? Ha,"
Luna said. Fred, Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Ginny all exchanged nervous
glances as Luna smiled at herself for her prank.
On
Monday, Fred (who was still living with the rest of the Weasley's for
the rest of the week), Ron, and Harry headed down to the Leaky Cauldron
in Diagon. Fred and Ron stopped at the joke shop to see George, but
Harry decided to go ahead of them to the pub. Among the rest of the
customers, one girl stood out. She had curly, red hair and she was
thin, but not too thin. Her face looked like a porcelein doll, only
beautiful instead of odd. Harry hadn't done anything exciting that day.
He was still broken-hearted over the very obvious and public breakup of
him and Ginny, but he knew he couldn't let himself be alone for ever.
He walked up to the girl to start off a conversation. Just after a few
laughs, she told him that she was staying up in a room over the Leaky
Cauldron while her house was being designed after being destroyed in
the war. After handing back the mug she'd been drinking from, she
smiled at Harry and wrote down her door number on the palm of his hand.
Just as she was leaving to go back to her inn room, Fred and Ron walked
in.
"Who was that?" Fred asked slyly.
"A girl, her name is..." Harry hesitated his sentence and decided to
aim this at Ron. "...Chelsea Horneswaggle."
"Chelsea...Horneswaggle?" Ron repeated, sounding out her last name slowly. Harry nodded and smiled widely.
"Yes...Chelsea, Horneswaggle," Harry repeated. "Is there something funny about that name?" Ron shook his head quickly.
"No, I just think...I heard it somewhere before, that's all," Ron mumbled. Fred nodded.
"Yeah, somewhere hilarious I'll bet," he said in Ron's ear
as he slowly came around from behind him and sat on a stool. Ron sat
down uncomfortably in a chair, a sarcastic joke burning within him.
Fred and Harry had just finished laughing at their friend when Ginny
came in. When she spotted them, she walked over and waved.
"Ginny, what are you doing here?" Harry asked. Ginny pointed to her name embroidered on a uniform robe.
"I work at Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. I come in here every day after work," Ginny explained.
"I was talking to a woman, Ginny," Harry said. He didn't seem to notice her irritated expression. "Chelsea Horneswaggle." Ginny scrunched up her nose at the name.
"Horneswaggle? What kind of - oh, Ron, this must be
killing you!" Ginny laughed. Ron crossed his arms and stared them all
down with narrowed eyes.
When Fred returned to the
Weasley burrow, where he, Ron, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, and Luna were
staying for the holiday season. Luna was there, with various issues of The Quibbler laid out on a table.
"Uh, Luna..what exactly is this?" Fred asked picking up an issue stating a sighting of Father Christmas's reindeer.
"Put that down!" Luna shrieked. Fred dropped the issue and jumped back.
"What?!" Fred demanded.
"You have to learn to write before you can touch a copy!" Luna cried. Fred just gave Luna the look she was used to - as if she were insane.
"Alright, then..." Fred said nervously as he cautiously sat down on the armchair across from her. "Are you going to teach me?"
"Yes! Here is a Magictyper, a typewriter that you will be writing on. It's very powerful, so make sure you don't type any stories, or else they will come true," Luna cautioned.
"Okay, Luna," Fred said with a snort. Even for a wizard, he didn't
believe anything would hold such powerful magic that was remotely
legal. Fred reached out to pick up the Magictyper, but Luna swatted his
hand away. With an injured expression, he rubbed his hand.
"What was that for?" Fred cried. Luna picked up the Magictyper and then a piece of paper.
"You have to learn here - " - Luna held up the parchment - " -
before you can learn here," Luna said, holding up the Magictyper
higher. Fred rolled his eyes and nodded his agreement. Just then, Harry
and Ginny walked through the door.
"Ginny seems to be keeping her resolution," Harry remarked as soon as the two sat down on the sofa next to Luna and Fred.
"Yes," Ginny said triumphantly, "even when I found out that...oh, well,
let's just say I found something out about someone, and let's just say,
good thing they have Ministry insurance." When Luna was listening to
Ginny's good-day, Fred reached out to grab the Magictyper.
"Fred!" she shouted as Fred immediately dropped the Magictyper, startled, "do you want to learn how to write a book?"
"Yeah," Fred insisted.
"Then don't touch one!" she ordered. Fred scoffed and crossed his
arms. Just then, Ron rushed through the door as Hermione emerged from
Ginny's bedroom. To avoid prolonged 'hello's, they just waved to the
two. It was fairly warm in the Burrow despite the cold, winter weather.
Harry took off his bulky, black, over-robe to reveal a pink sweater.
Ron slapped his hand over his mouth to avoid bursting into hysterical
laughter. When no one said anything, Ron cried out,
"Erm..a pink sweater. Harry's wearing a pink sweater! Please, let's hear everyone's opinion on the sweater!" Hermione, Luna, Fred, and Ginny nodded and smiled.
"It's very nice," Ginny commented.
"It brings out your..er, eyes," Hermione remarked. "Is that your 'new idea' for today?" Harry nodded while Ron stomped his foot.
"Come on!" Ron cried. "Well, men and boys don't usually wear such colors. See, it's a very feminine color, pink."
"I like it," Fred said laughing. Ron huffed and stormed off to his
room. Hermione laughed and rolled her eyes as she followed after him.
"Now that Ron's gone," Harry edged on. Everyone sighed and shook their heads.
"Take that off," Ginny demanded.
"So forward, Ginny," Fred snickered. Ginny slapped him on the back of the head.
"No, she's right, even I think it's insane," Luna said. Harry shrugged.
"Just as well. I only bought it to make Ron give in quicker," Harry confessed. Fred stood up and clapped his hands together.
"I'm going back to Diagon," he anounced.
"We just came back from there," Ginny whined. Fred shrugged.
"So?" Fred asked. Harry and Luna exchanged glances and shrugged. They followed Fred out the door. Ginny sighed.
"Hermione, what should we make for dinner?" Ginny called. No
answer. "Hermione?" she walked through the hall when she heard voices
in Ron's room.
"We're all living in the same house, it's getting harder to hide," Hermione was telling Ron. Ginny heard Ron sigh.
"It's just too awkward to talk to them," Ron whined.
"I know,"
Hermione admitted, "I'll just tell Ginny I'm shopping or
something." Ron breathed a sigh of relief. Ginny looked down and
realized there was a large crack in the door. She knealt down on the
ground and peered through it. She could see Hermione and Ron now -
Hermione was smiling, and Ron grabbed her in for a long kiss. Ginny
gasped.
"Ginny?" Hermione shouted nervously. Ginny closed her eyes tightly and was able to Apparate in the kitchen.
"Yeah?" she shouted back. Ginny heard the door being opened.
Hermione emerged from the hall and with her hand over her chest Ginny
could tell she was relieved about something - and she knew just what.
Hermione smiled and offered,
"Let's get dinner done quickly."
After
dinner, the six of them were sitting around once again. They were
laughing about Ginny's mixup with the muggle cooking book Hermione gave
her and how they ended up eating an enormous loaf of dough that was
meant to be bread. Suddenly, Hermione whipped out a camera and started
snapping photos of Ginny and Harry, who were the two sitting on the
sofa.
"What are you doing?" Harry demanded. Hermione huffed.
"It's my resolution!" she explained. Ginny rubbed her eyes.
"To what? Blind us?" she cried. Hermione put the camera down.
"Oh, calm down! It is a great resolution, because everyone will be able to enjoy the pictures," Hermione insisted. Fred nodded.
"Everyone will be able to enjoy my book," Fred said with a
confident smile. Hermione snapped one of him too. He looked nervously to Luna as he reached for a piece
of parchment; she nodded back her silent approval. Harry stood up and
smiled.
"Thanks for, er...dinner," he said. "but I have a date now." He
didn't see, but Ginny slid down in her seat with an irritated
expression and crossed her arms.
"Now?" she scoffed.
"Yeah," Harry said with his whats-wrong-with-that expression. Ginny shrugged as Harry left out the door.
"I'm tired," Hermione complained. Ginny and Luna nodded. Ginny,
Luna, and Hermione went off to Ginny's room. Fred yawned but didn't go
off to bed, where he was sleeping in Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's room while
they were visiting his older brother Percy. Ron looked at the
Magictyper, which was sitting on the table, and reached out to grab it,
but Fred pulled him away.
"What was that for?" Ron asked, disgusted.
"Luna will maul you if you try and touch that," Fred said.
"Apparently, if you write stories on the Magictyper, it will come true.
Now I really am tired, so I think I'll do the lazy thing and go to
bed." Fred waved a "g'night" and disappeared into the bedroom. Ron
looked at the Magictyper with interest and smiled.
"Stories will come true..?" Ron whispered to himself. "Well, Potter, I think it's time for a little revenge."
Everything
was going well with Chelsea. For the most part at least. Harry had to
keep fighting the sudden urge to pull her hair or scream "May the
goblins get me!" It was very strange, but he was able to pass it by and
enjoy a few drinks and conversation with Chelsea, who hadn't had a job
since the war, had been to India, Egypt, and Spain, and owned fourteen
pairs of socks with snitches on them. As she was hanging on every word
he was saying about the Chamber of Secrets, which Harry had opened to
door to in his second year of Hogwarts, she looked at him oddly.
"Don't worry, Ginny didn't die - " he explained, but Chelsea shook her
head.
"No it's not that," she said. "But how did you do that?"
"Well, somehow, I know the language of Parsel tongue. Actually,
funny story, when I was 11 - " Harry continued but Chelsea shook her
head again.
"How did you change your sweater like that?" she asked. Harry shot
her a confused expression and looked down. He was wearing a hot pink
sweater with ruby cufflinks. Chelsea scratched her head.
"I actually have to go job looking...very, very early tomorrow," she
said quickly. "I have to go..thank you for the evening." She grabbed
her pointed hat from off the table disappeared into the crowd. Harry
looked down to the table and sighed. Harry almost fell out of his seat
when, suddenly, words were being etched into the wood. He whispered
them to himself as they were spelled out.
"'Ha ha, have a nice night! - Ron Weasley'...I'll get him," Harry growled and stormed out of the pub.
"So, that's how you did it?" Harry snapped as he slammed the door
to the Burrow shut. He looked to the Magictyper. Ron was startled by
his sudden entry, but just smiled.
"I'm exhausted," Ron said, in a cheerful tone, "I think I'll go to
bed." Ron faked a yawn and walked off into his room casually. Harry
looked at the typewriter. He looked suspiciously at the chunk of metal,
then smiled mischieviously with a new idea.
Early
the next morning, Luna, Fred, Hermione, and Ginny were sitting around.
Hermione was holding a pitcher of pumpkin juice and refilling Ginny's
glass everytime she had finished. They were watching Luna and Fred's
second lesson."Let me see what you've written," Luna said, grabbing the piece of
parchment Fred was writing on. After a few minutes she crumbled it up
and shook her head. "This is horrible! Your leaving out important
details, improper procedures and your grammar is awful!" she complained. "Have you ever read anything at all?" Fred nodded quickly.
"Of course!" he cried.
"Then tell me what the thing that means not exact," Luna ordered. Hermione and Ginny exchanged confused looks.
"Pronoun," Fred whispered.
"Pronoun?!" she shouted, "Have you been studying writing books?" Fred looked down to the floor.
"Hey, I didn't touch your precious Magictyper," he snapped.
"But your questioning my methods!"
"No, Luna," Fred barked, "I'm not questioning your methods; I'm saying,
it's stupid!" Luna's mouth dropped open and she crossed her arms.
"None of my other..uh, student, thought I was stupid!" Luna insisted. Fred rolled his eyes.
"Your other student," he yelled, "was you!" Fred stormed off into
the room he was staying in. Luna huffed and did the same. Just then,
Ron emerged from his room, running his fingers through his wild mop of
hair and blinking.
"What was all that about?" he asked. Ginny looked up at him to
explain, but couldn't hold in a burst of laughter. Hermione looked to
Ginny then to Ron, and her eyes widened with complete shock. She
dropped her pitcher of pumpkin juice and let it smash into a thousand
pieces. Ron shrugged.
"What?" he asked, confused. Hermione slapped her hand over her mouth and Ginny, still laughing, told him,
"Your hair! It's..it's..it's blonde!" Ron dashed to the kitchen to
find something reflective. In a plate, he saw it was true. He threw the
plate down, letting in break in four large pieces. His regularly fiery,
messy hair was platinum blonde, the color of the sun at that time of
the day.
"Who did this?" he demanded. They heard a yawn and all turned to see Harry, yawning.
"What's going on?" he asked with a smile. Ron realized what had happened.
"You," he growled. Harry shrugged and his smile grew wider. He returned
to the bedroom to sleep in. Ron shook his head and grabbed the
typewriter from the table.
"'And Ron Weasley's hair turned Red while Harry Potter' - " Ron began to say as he typed but Hermione grabbed his arm.
"Don't," she ordered. Ron sighed.
"But he turned my hair blonde! I looked like Draco Malfoy," he grumbled. Ginny and Hermione squinted at him. They looked towards each other and shrugged.
"No, Ron, you didn't," Ginny told him. Ron rolled his eyes. Hermione sighed.
"Well, I'm going to go shopping," she said with a smile.
Ginny looked at her suspiciously, then when she realized what she was
saying, Ginny pretended to be oblivious. Ron nodded.
"I think...that sounds fun," Ron said smiling. "Mind if I join you?" Hermione shrugged.
"If you want," Hermione muttered. "Well, I left my purse in your room...when you, er, wanted to borrow some coins."
"Let's go find it," Ron suggested. Just then, Fred came from out of his room.
"Uh, Fred," his sister asked him, "I need to tell you something!" Fred shook his head and waved his arms.
"I'm tired of being the man who knows all the secrets," he said gruffly.
"Secrets?" she asked interestedly, "You know secrets? What secrets?"
"No, no, no, Ginny, you're not supposed to be gossiping!" Fred ordered. Ginny huffed.
"Well," she started, "if you found out on your own, it wouldn't be gossiping." Fred nodded slowly and sat down next to Ginny.
"Yeah, so it wouldn't be secret," he agreed. Ginny nodded.
"Well, Ron borrowed a book from me, would you mind going into his
room and getting it?" Ginny asked sweetly. Fred's eyes widened.
"No, how about..later," Fred suggested nervously. Ginny shook her head.
"Then I'll just go get it."
"Wait!" Fred shouted. "Do you know something?"
"Why," Ginny asked suspiciously, "do you know something?"
"I might know something."
"I might know something, too."
"What do you know?"
"Well, I can't tell you what I know."
"And I can't tell you what I know."
"Okay, fine," Ginny spit out. Then both sat there on the sofa awkwardly.
"Fine, if you won't, I'm going to go into Ron's bedroom and find
out if the thing I think that I know is the thing that I think that I
know!" she finally announced. Fred jumped up.
"You do know!" Fred shouted. Ginny jumped up too.
"Hermione and Ron?" she asked nervously. Fred nodded excitedly.
"Yes! Finally, someone else knows!"
"This is unbelievable!" Ginny gasped. "How long have you known?"
"Too long!" he shouted. Suddenly, Luna stepped into the living area.
"What's going on?" she asked excitedly. Ginny and Fred exchanged nervous glances.
"Uh, nothing..." they muttered. Luna shrugged.
"I should be returning home soon, but first, I'm going to see if one of
those Muggle airports will be leaving any of their planes unattended."
For the last time they would for a while, Harry, Hermione, Luna, Fred, and Ginny sat around the Weasley Burrow once more. They were talking when Ron rushed in. "Here you go," he mumbled, handing Harry fifteen galleons. "You win! Oh, and by the way, the Weird Sisters came by yesterday - they need an understudy! Oh, and Chelsea Horneswaggle? What, are you dating a descendant of Hufflepuff? And you...a jet? A muggle jet? Better make that a boat so you can sail to Father Christmas's island! Fred? A book? Make sure to fork over half of the profits when it becomes a best seller." He sighed. "That feels much better." Hermione giggled as she snapped one last photo of Ron before everyone started to pack up for home.