Symptoms Of Mercy

by Kount Xero

She had taken control a long time ago. She had driven him on and had driven in her own voice to his heart. He had been merciless towards both himself and them all along, but now, there were symptoms of mercy showing...

2. Symptom 1: Ceasing Extremity

"SYMPTOMS OF MERCY"

"Can I not be taken...
To such extremes as you whisper..?"
Static-X:"S.O.M."

Symptom 1:"Ceasing Extremity"

His stare would always contact the ground.

Dr.Kodowaki didn't know exactly why, but it had been at about six months since his wounds started to show up everywhere around his body, and his stare would not lift itself from the ground. She had never liked the stare of his eyes...

...But she didn't recall fearing them either.

As she instructed Squall to take off his jacket and t-shirt, she hoped that his wounds were a little bit lesser in both numbers and depth, compared to the last time he was in the Infirmary.

As Squall took off his t-shirt, Dr.Kodowaki's eyes explored the map of broken skin that laid on him like a pefectly fitting shirt. The cuts, the bruises, the gashes... Everything was laying on him like the map of abuse.

"I see you've got two in your neck area that look fresh..." Dr.Kodowaki said, "How did these cuts open up? They are linear... Which means something that is straight must've done it; metal, most probably."

"Whatever."

"How did it happen?" Dr.Kodowaki asked.

"I don't know." Squall replied, his gaze still on the ground.

"How is that possible?"

"I woke up this morning, with these bleeding, without a clue about how they were inflicted."

"I don't buy that."

"Whether you buy it or not... It's the truth."

It must be the truth.

"It can't be the truth." Dr.Kodowaki said.

"It must."

"It mustn't."

"It should."

"It shouldn't."

"It can be the truth as we know it!" Squall pressed on.

"And I am here to tell you, mister, that it can not!!!" Dr.Kodowaki rose.

Squall just shivered to the tone of her voice, and began to watch the ground again. Dr. Kodowaki sighed. She observed the young man that was sitting on the bed with just his pants on. His stare was on the ground again, and his arms were embracing himself as if it was cold. Dr.Kodowaki noted that, eventhough the room was hot, he was shivering.

"Squall, what is it with you that you're not telling me?" Dr.Kodowaki said.

"Nothing."Squall said.

"That doesn't look like it's nothing."

"It was a Green Dragon attack." Squall defended himself.

"Don't you lie to me. You didn't go anywhere that is near the territory of Green Dragons!"

"Have you been checking my journals!?"

"No. I was about to present your mission logs as a proof."

"Those can be altered."

"Not the ones that are as top-secret as yours, mister."

"Whatever."

"Not, WHATEVER!!!" Dr.Kodowaki screamed, gripping tight a bottle of disinfectant and smashing it by throwing it to the wall.

Squall shivered so hard to that, the strings of the hospital bed screeched to his move. Dr.Kodowaki made a mental note to that, and thought he should see a therapist to aid him with his current condition.

"Squall..." she said, "Do you have any troubles? Besides the brutal carnage of the missions?"

"No..." Squall said, his gaze being lifted from the ground to the wall; as he faced away from Dr.Kodowaki.

"Anything wrong at all? Seasonal depression, problems with your friends... With yourself?"

"None."

"With Rinoa?" she demanded, holding on to her last hope.

Squall didn't reply, but Dr.Kodowaki saw him shiver with the sound of the name, his jaw tightening, his hands shaking slightly. Her eyes had caught the movement, and it's meaning was revealed.

"You're having problems with Rinoa!?" she demanded, surprised.

"No." Squall replied, with a shake of fear in his voice.

"Squall, you are not permitted to leave this chamber unless you speak a few words of truth!"

"It is the truth! What do you want me to say!?"

"I want you to tell the absolute truth! The reflection of reality!"

"Is that what it is!? I say what you want to hear and you let me off!?"

"YES!"

"THEY ARE SELF-INFLICTED!!!"

As silence rushed into the room, it's ghostly essence swept over both of them; smiling while embracing them in it's cold grip. They stood within it's wake, and meaning followed silence into the room, but only smiled to Dr.Kodowaki.

"Squall Leonhart, I declare anywhere outside the vicinity of the Infirmary off-limits for you." Dr.Kodowaki said.

"Get out of my way." Squall said, taking a step towards the door.

"Not in this lifetime." Dr.Kodowaki said, taking a step towards him.

Squall gasped as he felt the cold needle press itself into the vein, releasing it's soothing essence through it. He felt his heart embrace the cold vaccine, and start to clone it to send it through his body.

His legs weakened almost immidiately. He fell onto his knees, seeing the world start to spin. He held on to the bed post, with his teeth clenched.

He looked up to Dr.Kodowaki. Dr.Kodowaki saw a world explode behind his eyes. Squall's free hand reached to the tools nearby, and his fingers gripped tight a scalpel.

"What did you... do... that... for..?" he demanded, lifting the scalpel up, "You... know... that I... have nightmares... with... seda-sedatives..."

Dr.Kodowaki watched him as the sedative started to take him over. Squall's hand moved forwards, and dropped the scalpel. Dr.Kodowaki sighed as she knew that he should be falling asleep any moment.

"I... will... not... bend to... this."

"Squall, calm down."

"I... don't... want... want to be... this... not... tonight."

Dr.Kodowaki stood silent, listening to his subconscious words slip through.

"I... don't want to... be... what you... want me to... be." He shook, as tears forced his eyes, "Why... I didn't... do... anything... I... don't... want to be... this... I... can't!"

His body had started to convulse, as Dr.Kodowaki rung up an alarm for her Med-SeeDs, Squall was starting to get up, although his legs weren't responding properly, he was trying to.

"You... know I... won't... recoil... That's... not... a good thing as a... a soldier... a SeeD..."

The Med-SeeDs rushed in, as Dr.Kodowaki pointed at them to hold Squall down as his convulsions became worse.

"My world... it comes... crashing..." Squall said.

"We can't hold him!" a SeeD exclaimed.

"Around me... It's... falling... Every knot... Noose... Noose... Dead butterflies..."

"STAND ASIDE!" Dr.Kodowaki instructed them, holding yet another dose of sedatives; a heavier one this time.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY-" Squall shouted out as Dr.Kodowaki's needle approached him. His palm went right through the needle and shouted atain, "-FROM ME!!!"

His fingers had found the scalpel, and instinctively, he gripped it tight. Lifting it up, he swung it... And the scalpel got stuck into Dr.Kodowaki's shoulder, making her scream in pain and retreat from him. Squall gripped one of the Med-SeeDs, and the scalpel pierced through his throat, spilling his blood all over the floor, leaving him choking on his knees.

"DoctAAAAAAAAGH!!!" a Med-SeeD cried out, as the scalpel entered his eye, and his eyeball blasted in it's socket.

"SLEEP!!!" an angry voice echoed in the room. An orange light flashed, so very briefly; enough for the cadets to witness the caster of that spell.

As Squall's convulsions begun to cease, the room started to be filled by the cries of pain that emerged from the wounded Med-SeeDs, and Dr.Kodowaki herself.

"What in the name of Hyne is going on here!?" Quistis Trepe demanded.

"Squall..." Dr.Kodowaki could say, "He just... Flipped out. He attacked at, GREAT HYNE IN HEAVEN SAVE US!"

Quistis first thought that she had just acknowledged the situation of her wounded Med-SeeDs, but, then, Quistis saw it too.

Squall fell down as he lost conscience. They saw a shadow drift towards him. As the shadow passed through the lights of the room, the light bulbs exploded wherever they were, sending off jets of flames everywhere.

"HOLY SHIVA!" Quistis cried out, as she tried to duck down. Every piece of electronic device was blowing up by themselves as the shadow passed through them.

Quistis thought, What in the name of all that is holy is that!? I must stop it.

Without thoughts, she rushed towards it. The lamps had started to flicker already, as the shadow took a rather humanish shape and stood on it's "feet". Quistis touched the shadow...

...And a blinding pain suddenly washed over her body, making her pass out immidately. She was unconscious before she had hit the floor.

Dr.Kodowaki pulled the cross of Hyne from beneath her shirt. She held the necklace up and started to walk towards the shadow.

"In the name of Hyne I command you to stop!" she said, advancing towards it. The shadow just pointed at her, and Dr.Kodowaki felt herself fly backwards, and slam onto the wall, the scalpel piercing through her arm even more, and entering into her side. She screamed out in pain, trying not to pass out as the lights kept on flickering.

The door of the Infirmary slid open one more time, letting Selphie Tilmitt inside. She shrieked in fear as she saw the flickering lights, and the dead bodies that lay on the ground. Her eyes filled with terror, and her back pressed against the nearest wall. She kept her mouth shut and tried to sustain her screams. She felt herself slide down and sit on the floor, holding her knees to her chin. She embraced herself as the shadow gently touched Squall.

Selphie's ears ached with the monochromatic scream that had emerged from the shadow. It was singing; with a subtle, fixed, monotone melody that brought forth so many melodies that meant only one thing; slaughter. Selphie couldn't hold back her scream as this grinding sound pierced through her ears. She held her ears, trying to block it out; but only then she realised that the scream came from the inside.

Stop... Stop... Stop... Stop... Stop... Stop... STOP... STOP THIS!!!

Selphie tried to close her eyes, but her eyes remained wide open as the shadow entangled itself around Squall's half-naked form. He was unconscious, for all Selphie could see, and he didn't seem to wince at all when he was touched by darkness.

Selphie was trying to gain back her calm when another device nearby the bed exploded, sending shards of metal towards Selphie's direction. Screaming, she finally managed to close her eyes, leaning towards the ground to reduce the area she was covering; instinctively.

The doors of the Infirmary slid open one more time, to lead Zell Dincht inside; and he stumbled upon a piece of metal that was flying at Selphie. Zell's Achilleus tendon caught the piece, making him collapse onto the ground.

The scream was filling the air. Like a blinding confusion, it shouted out the questions that filled their minds; what was going on? What had brought the forces of nature and the forces that were above nature to collide in this room full of technology and remedies?

This scream! Zell thought, I think I recognize... Hyne, make it stop, I recognize this... It's that song..! Her... song. Why... But why is it... HYNE, MAKE THIS TORMENT CEASE!!!

Zell crawled on the ground, curled up like a ball, and covered up his ears with his fighting gloves that blocked most of the sound out. Muttering Hyne a prayer of grace, he started to observe the scene.

Squall was lifted up now, his body floatin in the air, embraced by the dark arms of that shadow which had taken the shape of an angel. This dark seraphim was gently carrying Squall to the bed. Zell was surprised that he wasn't doing anything about it. Then, he noticed that, his eyes were closed.

He must've passed out already... What on Earth is going on here!?

The shadow gently put Squall onto the matress, and then, let go of him. Squall immidiately turned to the side and embraced himself. The shadow then pointed at the bed sheets, and they stretched themselves out to cover him. Once the work was done, the shadow started to fade away as the erratic lights began to shine with a magical shade to them. Zell knew that the light bulbs were long gone... The light was magical. He could feel it.

The shadow then came back, but the lights went on and on. Zell could see the shadow, and as it's feet passed through him, he felt something familiar about it. When the shadow got out of the room, he tried to look around. There wasn't much left to see. Dr.Kodowaki was lying on a corner, unconscious. Quistis was nearby the bed Squall was sleeping on, and she was unconscious too.

Taking his hands off his ears, Zell pushed the ground and then, the pain on his leg reminded him of his wound. He decided to try his best to sit up. Ignoring the pain a little bit, he shifted his position and pushed the ground to rise onto his butt. Zell turned to another corner of the room, to see something yellow, tan and brown tremble.

"Selphie!" Zell exclaimed in surprise, "Selphie! Can you hear me? Selph!" Zell tried to crawl towards her, and managed to make some progress. He crawled across the small room and reached his friend.

Zell observed her. She had a few bruises, but that was nothing special in his case. His gaze moved upwards to her face.

Zell shivered at the sight.

Selphie's face represented absolute horror. It was as if she had carried a marble block on top of her shoulders up until now and a sculptor had taken it to carve the expression of fear onto it. Her expression was fixed.

Zell also saw the blood running down her fingers and cheeks. In that moment he realised that her eardrums had burst in the moment of chaos. But as Zell and Selphie remained the only conscious ones after the ceasing extermity, Zell had to take care of her the best he could.

Zell reached out and genlty prodded Selphie.

Selphie screamed her lungs off, and her legs started to throw random kicks onto the air as her eyes remained fixated onto a single point. A kick caught Zell on the side, and made him fall down to her side, locking his eye contact with her.

Selphie's eyes were indescribably full of terror. Zell could swear that the mind behind it had shattered, and the pieces of it's porcelain were hanging onto her skull. Her vision still wouldn't deviate from it's fixed point. Wondering what it was, Zell rolled over and faced what Selphie was looking at...

...It was an eyeball, hanging at the tip of a scalpel which lay on the ground.

"Great Hyne!" Zell exclaimed, feeling his stomach convulse. He quickly turned around from that and faced Selphie again, gazing into her big, round eyes that were still fixated onto that point. By gazing into her eyes, Zell felt himself falling downwards the spiral shaft of the tower that was Selphie's mind.

"Selphie!" Zell said, reaching out and shaking her, "Selphie! Snap out of it! COME ON, WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!"

The shout started to take effect. Zell watched Selphie's eyelids drift down slowly to meet each other. Once her eyes was shut, Zell knew that she was gathering herself back together. When she opened up her eyes, Zell saw tears in them. By letting out a soft moan, she slid forwards and embraced Zell.

"Zell! I'm so... glad you're here, Zell! I thought I was gonna..." her words were muffled in all the sobbing.

"Shhh... It's over..."

"It's NOT!" Selphie cried, "When will this end..? It's been like this ever since... Ever since she..."

"Look, I don't think Rinoa's directly involved in this, okay? You know how wierd things get in our life..."

"Not that much." Selphie objected, "Don't you remember Squall!? How he was always... Afraid... Shaky... How he was walking around like a ghost..."

"He was having rough days..." Zell said.

Damn, he thought, if that was the quarter bit of the actual truth, I'll quit SeeD.

"No..." Selphie said, "Not that rough... You know he always appeared passive... He'd never do that! He'd never, you hear me, NEVER!!!"

"Selphie, calm down..." Zell said, fearing that the shadow might come back and haunt them even more.

"Zell..." Selphie said, sniffing, "We should do something about this... I don't wanna die... I don't wanna... Don't wanna..." she sobbed again and started to cry as the vision of the eye came back to her.

"Don't cry..." Zell said, as he managed to move himself up to his butt. Sitting up, he looked around.

All he saw was absolute chaos. Chaos was standing still around him; chaos was duplicating cosmos. He sat, watching the ceasing extremity. He turned to Selphie, whom had lifted herself up as well, wrapping her arms around Zell's neck and crying on his chest.

"It's gonna be alright, Selph." Zell said, not believing himself, "It's gonna be alright."

"Z...ell..?" came a rather shaken up, sleepy voice. When Zell turned around, he saw Quistis, trying to lift herself up from the ground.

Quistis felt absolutely horrible. The pain that had rushed through her body had left her so weak that she was trembling as she tried to gain back her full conscience and gather her thoughts. She ran her hand through her long, blonde hair as she looked around with a puzzled expression; observing the scene of violence.

"What the hell..?" she demanded.

"We don't know for sure." Zell said, "But Selphie has a theory on what happened."

"That shadow... Was it..?" Quistis started,

"I think... It was." Selphie replied, "I think it was a reflection of... all that's been keeping Squall under control... And under attack."

"I don't buy it." Quistis said, managing to use the bed post as a support and going back onto her knees, "He's a devoted SeeD. He has slain two sorceresses for us. He has gone through hell because of his devotion to orders. He won't do that."

"He's not just a soldier!" Selphie objected, "He's a human being! You all see him as just a regular 'cold, hard hero who is devoted to his mission and to what is good no matter what the cost' guy!"

"Don't we all do that!?" Zell demanded,

"I DON'T!!!" Selphie shouted as a reply.

Silence smiled at them once more, and took a picture of them to save in it's camera.

"That story was true?" Quistis asked, with a new perspective.

"No..." Selphie said,

"That story..." Quistis pressed on, "The one that concerned and upset Rinoa so much... That Squall was... getting intimate with you... Not a sexual one yet, but at least a love relationship... Is that true?"

"No."

"You've been sighted, dammit!" Quistis snapped, "You were kissing Squall... And he didn't seem so frigid towards you either! Now come clean! It may help us understand what's going on here!"

"It's not true! It wasn't me!"

"Who's going to mistake you for anyone!?" Zell demanded.

"Rinoa would!!!" Selphie said, "You don't understand... I was feeling sorry for him, I wanted to help him! He was giving in... He kept on giving in. He said that 'In this world, you either bend or you break'! He was breaking, don't you get it, he was breaking!"

"Breaking..?" Quistis demanded, "Who was breaking him? Who was making him do whatever he or she pleased?"

"You already know that..." Selphie said, "You felt the touch of that shadow. You saw it's shape. Whom does it belong to?"

Quistis couldn't speak. Her mouth was open, but she was mute through the revelation. She remembered his ceasing extremity. His carefulness on missions, his triple-checking everything. Him avoiding her, desperately staying away from his former instructor and sister figure, Quistis Trepe.

All of these actions were swirling around one opiton;

He was being abused.

Quistis was acquainted enough with him to know why he would deny what had been given to him.

Squall let out a soft moan and gave the others a sign of him gathering his conscience. Selphie and Quistis helped Zell up to his feet, and they started to walk towards the bed on which their friend was awakening...

...Or falling even deeper asleep.

"Where... What happened?" Squall demanded.

"Squall... Thank Hyne..." Selphie exclaimed, her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm... still in the Infirmary?" Squall demanded.

"That's unimportant!" Quistis snapped, "Squall, do tell me something-"

"Wait!" Zell said, stopping her, "First we need to understand-"

"Just shut up!" Quistis said.

Squall looked up from his current poisition, and made eye-contact with Quistis. She looked deep into his eyes; and saw that, a soul had fallen apart behind them.

"Squall..." she said, "I want to know... Do you remember anything?"

"I remember..." Squall replied; feeling that he was unable to confide in the broken pieces anymore.