Confessions of a Villain

Chapter One

Where Is The Love

Whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity Black Eyed Peas

Life is short. If there is one thing that I have learned in my entire existence on this earth it is that. I have seen death, I have mourned death, and at times I have felt as though I have experienced death.

It is not a pretty thing, and not everyone dies a hero. Most fear it for they do not know when their time will come, when they will be called to leave all which they have worked for. Some go gracefully, some not. But the ending is always the same, everyone goes; everyone dies.

So I have learned that life is only getting shorter. Your time is only dwindling down until it reaches nothing. There is not time to make mistakes, only to correct them. And even though I claim that I do not fear death I cannot help but think that on some subconscious level I do.

There is a war waging outside and yet I am not participating in it. I am hiding from evils which I cannot name. I have a supposed role in the war but I've been told that it is for the better if I stay hidden, stay out of it, and stay alive.

And so, I am here in the depths of Wizarding England in a mansion with one other resident. The one that keeps me from going utterly insane from being forced to live inside of my own head; the one who has my heart.

The abovementioned walked into the room at that precise moment, interrupting my ever-changing train of thoughts.

He walked over to me and took a place beside me at the charmed window. "Virgina," he greeted.

"Draco," I acknowledged back.

"Why do you spend so much time here?" He gestured to the window and windowsill that we were both currently perched on.

I gave him a familiar cold glare, "I have to spend time somewhere."

He sighed and resumed to looking out the window. "It's not even real," he mused while appreciating the same beautiful day that was always at that particular window, curtsey of a very effective charm from the Better Wizarding Scenery Company.

"Nothing is," I responded cynically. I finally took my eyes off of the window that was no more than a life like painting and onto Draco. With one look at his solemn expression I knew. "You're leaving soon," I observed.

"At nightfall," he confirmed.

I stood up from my position on the windowsill and said nothing to him. Draco had began occasionally doing things to aid the war and the people that he once despised but lately he had been doing them a great deal more. I found myself alone with nothing but my thoughts and worries, and I hated being worried, it brought back old feelings of weakness.

"When will you return?"

He sighed and stood up as well, "Five days, a week at the most."

I turned away and began to walk out of the room, "I'll go summon some dinner."

I took about two bites from my dinner before deciding that I wasn't hungry. It took Draco one extra bite to reach the same decision. Magical food always did have a funny taste to it. However, that is what I had lived with the entire time that I had been stuck in this spot.

It was always just Draco and me, and lately because of his 'missions' it was just me. I wasn't even allowed a house elf because apparently even they were not completely loyal. All the better though, I never could stand the creatures, no matter how well they cooked.

And so we sat in silence, each staring at the food as if watching it get progressively colder were a matter of some great interest. Each avoiding the unavoidable subject at hand, Draco's departure.

Finally fed up with the detainment of the conversation I pushed my plate away and looked into his eyes. "Where are you going?"

"That is privileged information," he stated the same way that he always did.

"Where are you going Draco?" I pressed again.

"I'll be back soon Virginia," he stalled once more.

"Where are you going?"

"Azkaban."

And there it was. His mission that would only last a week at the most was set at Azkaban. The anger fell off of my features as I looked at him once more, "Why?"

"There is a breakout scheduled, my team is set to intercept." His gaze turned everyway besides looking at me. Even though he looked perfectly calm I knew otherwise. He had not seen his father in five years, closer to six; he had no clue as to what to expect.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, I had a bad feeling about this. "Don't go," I asked in vain.

He finally looked at me in more than shock than anything else. "You can't ask me that."

I slammed a fist down on the table in anger and noted with satisfaction that the silverware clanged together at the action. "Damn it Draco I have watched you go on these missions and tasks of yours for months now and I have said nothing; but I have a bad feeling about this and I am asking you not to go."

He sighed and looked away, "I have to go."

I stood up from my chair and began to walk away from him. "You do not have to go you are choosing to go. Let someone else do it, I don't know why you are being Dumbledore's lackey here you don't even like the man."

"I'm not doing it for him," he said simply, "I'm doing it for you. I told you that a breakout is set and whom do you think is breaking out? I know that prison and your aunt better than anyone else that they have, if I don't go she gets out. And who do you think will be the first person that she will pay a visit to?"

I turned around so I was facing him and took a few steps toward his chair. "You know that if you go with their little group of 'soldiers' that they are only going to get you killed. Go if you must but please don't be one of them."

"Who would you rather me be Virginia, one of the death eaters?"

"No," I said slowly, "we aren't a part of either side, remember? It's only me and you and we do what's best for us, my God we aren't Gryffindors."

He smiled and stood up as well, "Yes, well, unfortunately sometimes we are forced to take sides and this is what's best for us. If I don't go with them then I go alone and I have to say that is far worse."

"Then go with me."

He quickly stopped smiling, "You can't go, Virginia, you know this."

I gave a frustrated sigh and looked away, "Yes, Draco, I know that better than anyone. My duty in this war is to sit here and slowly wait for old age to kill me because God knows that you won't let anything else. Forget the prophecy that was made about me having any actual part in this battle, lets just leave me here to rot alone."

He rolled his eyes and walked towards me, "Don't be all dramatic, everything will be fine."

And so despite my feelings on the situation I let him go. I sat there and watched him walk out the front door, go the standard twenty feet and apparate to some unknown area where he would meet his team and be briefed. And I sat, alone yet again, to wait, either for him to come back or for news that something had gone horribly wrong.

Either way, that was all that I could do, wait.