^_^ Yo...

Kawaii Elf Girl; Tsk tsk, laziness is wrong... even though I am pretty lazy... ^_^

Anarya; Yup, he's a Legollum!!! Hmmm, rocks singing... I'd like to see that... lol!

Estel; Ah, so you noticed! Well m'dear, you'll be seeing many Pirates references in 'Polos' once I find some more inspiration, not to mention other films... ^_^

Lainfaer; Ooh, naughty! You should pay attention to your friend!!! ^_^ Lol, nice to see I could even make you laugh in a serious situation! ^_^

Ice Panther of the Fifth Realm; Yup, he's hyper!!! ^_^

Cartoonist; K!!! ^_^ I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!! Oh... hello to all the Year 11's... nice to know that people in my school are reading this now... jeez this is so embarrassing... B told me that this was the first review you'd submitted! Well, I feel so proud of myself for that honour...

Insane Elven Pirate; Thanks! ^_^

Shadowwill; Lol, you bug me to update everything!!! ^_^

Fritz will Get You; OK!!!

MLynnBloom; Lol! Actually, that whole part about gravity? That is something I did once. Me and my friends were sitting in Science and we were mucking about, as usual, and as we were learning about gravity, there was Becca and I sitting going "Gravitygravitygravitygravitygravitygravitygravity..." for ages... ^_^

Purplefluffychainsaw; Tee hee! =) Yes, I'm well aware that I am evil to the Elf, but who cares?!?!?! I enjoy it!!!

Terreis; Thank you!!! ^_^

So... on with what seems to be a random, pointless, time-consuming and yet highly enjoyable pastime... oh, and a note to all those who hate sick or people being sick... lots of crude little sick jokes in this chapter; hey, what can I say?! I was bored people!!!

~*~*~*~

.:Chapter Five:.

The sun rose majestically into the sky, the birds wakening and beginning to twitter. There was a fresh breeze blowing down from the mountains, and in our heroes camp?

Let us see...

An Elf with a bright green face was trying desperately not to be sick, a Dwarf was panicking that an Elf with a bright green face was trying desperately not to be sick, and a Man was sitting stock still in the same place with the same horrified expression on his face since last night whilst ignoring a Dwarf that was panicking that an Elf with a bright green face was trying desperately not to be sick...

All was normal then.

"I can see you're a lot of use," sighed Gimli, waving a hand in front of Aragorn's face. Turning back to Legolas, he shook his head. "And how are you feeling now?" he asked, his voice dripping sickly sweet.

Legolas groaned. "What did I do last night?!"

Gimli had a mock look of deep concentration on his face.

"Well let me see..." he said. He began counting on his fingers. "You practically went mad. You were up half the night singing various Elvish songs, mostly about women who sounded very beautiful and various actions taken by men, but I won't go into detail, and you convinced yourself that you were the Emperor of Harad. Oh, and you also asked a squirrel if she would marry you. Unfortunately this particular squirrel was a male and didn't take too kindly to your proposal and proceeded to bite your behind."

Legolas groaned, shutting his eyes in exasperation. "So I made myself look like a moron?"

Gimli grinned. "Legolas; you made yourself look like a spectacular moron. Let's just say that Orcs possess more grace and elegance than you did last night."

Legolas' eyes suddenly snapped open and the hue of green on his face became even deeper and more prominent. "I don't feel so good..."

All of a sudden...

"LEGOLAS!!! THOSE WERE MY BEST SHOES!!!"

Aragorn had miraculously been brought out of his stupor by an Elf who had been trying desperately not to be sick... and failed rather miserably...

~*~*~*~

"Did the harmonica come out of his throat?" asked Aragorn, now back in the real world.

Gimli looked at him darkly. "Do you want to check?!" he growled, motioning to Legolas who had lost the green pallor and was now recovering and the mess on Aragorn's shoes. Aragorn's face took on a look of disgust.

"Erm, no, not really, no..."

Aragorn noticed that Legolas seemed to be breathing rather strangely.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"No... I think there's something stuck in my nose..." replied the Elf.

Aragorn stared at him for a moment as though he was mad (which he probably was) before continuing. "Well what do you think it is?"

Legolas wrinkled his nose again. "Smells like carrot..."

Aragorn had to think about this for a moment (as a few of his brain cells had fizzled out; being awake all night with a look of extreme terror on your face can do that to you y'know, and let's face it- he really didn't have many to spare anyway...) before it finally dawned on him.

"You are disgusting..." he hissed darkly...

~*~*~*~

And so, the Three Hunters continued on their epic quest to who knows where, for they had never actually stated just why they were out in the middle of the woods. Aragorn was now fully coherent and moody again, Gimli was slowly getting over his babysitting duties, and Legolas?

Well, he was his usual annoying self again too, despite the fact that the harmonica, still caught up in the Prince's voice-box, was making him sound like a warbling Orc.

"Sometimes I wonder if the Valar made me meet you as a curse..." growled Aragorn. Legolas didn't realise that this was actually an insult (whether that was thanks to the herbs still sending him a little ga-ga or whether it was the fact that he was a blonde we may never know...)

"Well, it could be worse," said Legolas. "You could be cursed with eternal bad looks, like Gimli over there!" Suddenly realising what he said, the Elf fell silent. He turned his head slightly to see Gimli, his face red with anger and his eye twitching.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!?!?!"

Legolas suddenly realised the stupidity of his actions (and we suddenly realise that Legolas really is a few lembas breads short of a picnic due to his hair colouring).

"Oops."

With a roar that would have frightened away even the fiercest of Wargs, Gimli launched himself at the offending Elf and began a rather furious attack. Unfortunately for them both, fighting right beside a very tall and steep hill was not such a good idea.

The pair yelled as they rolled speedily down the hill, many extremely potent curses issuing from their mouths that cannot be translated in a fanfic of this particular rating. If you want that sort of language, please refer to the R-rated section.

Meanwhile, Aragorn, still standing up at the top, held his head in his hands.

"Why me?" he moaned to nobody in particular. "Why?!?!"

~*~*~*~

Following his companions route down the hill, Aragorn preoccupied himself by thinking of Arwen. Needless to say by the time he actually got to Legolas and Gimli's landing spot, he had the biggest goofy grin on his face anyone had ever seen. After all, it was a very big hill.

It turned out that the pair had landed in a cave and a rock had rolled in front of the opening, leaving only a little gap between the boulder and the cave wall. Aragorn listened intently to the conversation inside as he tried to push the huge rock away.

"ELF, THE SECOND WE GET OUT OF HERE I WILL LOP OFF THAT BRAINLESS APPENDAGE OFF YOUR SHOULDERS AND MOUNT YOUR POINTY EARED HEAD ON MY WALL!!!"

Another voice shouted right back, accompanied by out-of-tune music. "WELL IF YOU WEREN'T SO VAIN THEN WE WOULDN'T BE STUCK IN HERE, WOULD WE?!?!"

"VAIN?! VAIN?!?!?! LOOK WHO'S TALKING, MR-I'M-SO-PRETTY-WITH-MY-NICE-BLONDE-HAIR!!! I BET YOU DYE IT!"

A gasp issued from inside. "WHY YOU LITTLE-!!!"

Sounds of a scuffle inside floated out to Aragorn's ears. He sighed. "And they say they're best friends..." he thought absent-mindedly.

Without warning, the fighting stopped. Aragorn frowned. "Hellooooo? Anyone in there?"

No answer.

"They've finally done it..." thought Aragorn with horror. "They've gone and killed each other..."

He stopped himself. If they'd killed each other that meant peace and quiet for him...

Aragorn sat down and lit up his pipe, a smug grin on his face. Life was good!

~*~*~*~

Please R&R!!!