"The intent of your darker...
Notions always remember..."
Static-X:"S.O.M."
Squall dressed himself in the memories that were engraved onto his mind; in order to break the circle and breach the core...
Am I...
...Dead?
"Squall! Squall, please! Squall, wake up!"
But if I am...
...Who is this voice?
Who is calling me?
"Squall, please! Wake up! Don't leave me now, I need you! I need you to be here with me!"
Who would need me..?
I'm useless.
Just an anti-social, frigid bastard who cannot even confess his own love towards someone so beautiful... And so naive...
But now I'm dead...
All these things she had said to me, remind me what to do when I'm dead...
"Squall!" a sob emerged from the silence, "Squall... Great Hyne... Squall..."
...Rinoa?
"Squall... Oh, Squall... I love you... I love you so much... Please, come back to me..."
...Rinoa!
I must... Wake up!
I must wake up!
I must... go to her.
"Squall..."
I must resist!
"Squall, please don't die..."
Rinoa!
"Squall... Oh, Hyne... Great Hyne, I'm so sorry! I'M SO SORRY!!!"
RINOA!!!
It's no use. She'll never hear me. She's distant... And maybe she's right. I AM dying.
Or am I already dead?
"I love you, Squall... I love you. I love you with all my heart... AND I WANT YOU HERE BY MY SIDE!!!"
"Rinoa..." Squall's mouth shaped the words and released them. He could feel his vocal chords trembling to the word.
"Squall! Dear Hyne, my! SQUALL!!!"
Squall opened up his eyes to see light shed on her face... Her smile brightening up the hard times underneath her eyes, her lips eager to dance with his, her eyes in contact with his...
...Her heart trembling in his chest.
"Squall... I'm so glad that you're alive... I love you, I LOVE YOU, YOU COLD, HARD, FRIGID BASTARD, I LOVE YOU!!!" with her last words, she embraced Squall with all of her strength and love.
Squall felt emotions splash to the shore of his serenity, and his arms seemed to move with minds of their own to embrace her. He held her close to his chest; so close that he could hear her heart beating against his.
His eyes observed the clearest of all blue skies, with leaves of flowers flying in a wortex around them; a sincere embrace from Mother Nature.
"Rinoa..." Squall could exclaim as he inhaled a deep breath to catch her scent. The natural smell of her hair filled his lungs, filled his mind, clouded his vision, filled up his eyes, sent chills down his spine, to fill through his lower torso as an intoxicant drug; the excitement stimulant. Squall felt a simple breath embrace him more than she ever could.
His eyes were facing the sky... Which had started to twist and turn now. Without giving out any muscular reaction, he kept watching the vortex of the sky shift to something far more sinister. He tried to push it away, but he soon found out that he had no effect on the scene.
His eyes witnessed...
...A world in ruins was smiling at him, with the scent of burnt flesh fresh in his lungs...
...A man, standing on top of a mountain below which flames were racing to reach the top...
...The man's leather trenchcoat fly in the heat of the flames, his face was looking down, and his figures was shielded by his hair...
...A gunblade in his hand, tip of which was contacting the ground...
...A woman with black angel wings approach from behind him...
...The woman was dressed in a rather seductive dress coloured in dark blue...
...The raven hair of her fly with the same heat that whipped the man's trenchcoat and hair...
...A n army raging to meet them...
...A man in the hands of a woman; a man struggling to break free of her incluence...
...Himself bound to a most powerful seduction...
"Squall..!" Rinoa's voice pulled him out of the vision. Squall blinked. When he opened up his eyes, the scene was gone...
...And the sky was still beautiful.
"Rinoa..." Squall said, "I found my way to you. I don't want to lose you again... I won't!"
"Neither will I lose you, my love..." Rinoa replied, holding him tighter.
They laid in each other's arms for quite some time... Squall was embraced by the memories; by the hopes, doubts, emotions, hardships, hatred, love, everything.
As that moment passed, Squall watched Rinoa smile to him as if heavens had just descended to Earth. Then, he mentioned that it was time to get up. Rinoa smiled, and said;
"Yes, you're right. It's morning on earth. Let's go back to our friends."
Slowly, Squall rose, inhaling the power her presence was giving him. He was severly wounded; not only mentally, but physically as well. As Squall felt Rinoa support his weight, he muttered a grace to Hyne underneath his breath.
I love her... That's the only truth. I love her, that's all it matters! I LOVE HER!
Rinoa supported his weight, and helped him walk on the flowers that were dancing to the gentle wind. She smiled, her body resisting to give in to his weight; she smile inside of her mind.
He's here... He's with me... I have Squall... with me!Their steps guided them through the flowers that laid around them like a drowning pool. The pool was drowning itself with the flowers it contained. Their steps didn't crush the flowers, even if they did, Squall knew that somehow nature would find it's way through the mess.
Rinoa helped Squall walk across the flower field and arrive at the little stone clearing behind the destroyed orphanage. Squall stepped onto the stone surface, and then, tried to stand on his own feet, managing to do so.
"Thank you." Squall said, "I can walk now... Thanks."
"You don't need me?" Rinoa demanded.
"I do..." Squall said, "By my side... I need you right here with me."
"I'll go check on the others, though." Rinoa said, "I have to. I want to know if they made it back."
"Don't go!" Squall exclaimed, holding onto Rinoa.
"I'll be back in a few." Rinoa assured him.
"Okay..." Squall said.
Rinoa got up and walked back into the house, disappearing from his view. In that exact moment, Squall heard footsteps. Alarmed by the sound, he jumped up, with his fists clenched, his eyes looking for his attacker.
Slowly, a figure faded into view. Squall first saw a long, blonde hair. Then, a woman's tired body appeared. Quistis was leaning on the wall to stand, and yet, she was still trying to reach Squall.
"Quistis?" Squall demanded.
"Squall? Oh, holy Shiva, Squall!!!"
Quistis looked at him. He looked so vulnerable now... So lovely. Beautiful. She gathered all her strength.
If I never tell him he will never know. If he doesn't know I won't tell him. But he must know! He must see this! My... affection. He must know how much I love him...
...And how afraid I was that I lost him!
With a sudden determination, she started to walk towards him. Her calm steps quickened as she got more anxious. Her lips parted to utter the three words that were already a part of an entirely different cliché which was just the same. She came at him in a pace so exciting and full of dreams that, she couldn't see anything else.
Squall didn't take a step back, he had ignored the warnings, ignored the footsteps approaching from within the house. He just stood still as Quistis' arms were wrapped around his neck, and her lips was pressing onto his. He couldn't even make a sound as Quistis kissed him.
Squall was stiff as a statue-while he sensed that Quistis was going limp of this fullfilled desire. Her thoughts were exploding inside of her head.
I love Squall Leonhart! I love him with all my heart!!!Quistis broke the kiss, and retreated, smiling. She licked her lips, gently, to taste a residue of him. She smiled one more time, and looked into his eyes.
Squall was struck in awe. He stared into her eyes, and felt something stir inside of his heart. As if a circular saw was turning on a spike that was impaled onto it, he felt the pain...
...And he enjoyed it.
He knew that, this time, he had found a different choice; one more difficult. He had to embrace her. Squall loved Quistis from the day they had met. He loved Rinoa just the same.
"Squall..." Quistis said, "I love you." Her lips parted one more time after this sentence came through to divulge more than he wanted to, and less than she wanted to, "I love you! I'm in love with you, Squall Leonhart! I don't care for anything! I just wish to be with you! I can't help it! I-" her words were cut as Squall kissed her... Regret-free.
However, Squall also thought that he could be scot-free.
As they kissed, he felt his world break free of pain and doubt. The two emotions of his, disappeared as he kissed her. During the entire struggle, she had been there for him.
But, they were suddenly seperated as a spell hit Squall from his side. While some parts of his clothes burned out immidiately, he was thrown off his feet and into the flowers.
Quistis stood her ground in confusion and shock. She looked around, but couldn't see anyone; although she was sensing some sort of aura. Quistis felt fear brush it's thin, bony fingers on her spine, making her shiver.
"Show your face..." Quistis demanded, "So I can know what to think."
No reply came. Quistis waited for a sound to emerge from something around her, but silence stood all around her.
Meanwhile, Squall was lying in a flower bed, still trying to shake the touch of death off. His hand pressed against the soil, breaking a few flowers, and he pushed himself upwards.
His gaze contacted the sky; and the sky started to swirl one more time, and showed Squall all he had seen before... The man, the girl, the lonely soldier...
...The soldier was fighting a war for the girl...
...He was fighting with the ruthlessness of a man with nothing to lose...
...He had nothing to lose...
...Because he had already lost the war of his own...
...But he was fighting willingly...
...And as blood rained down, the girl smiled from atop the rocks...
...She knew she was in control of him...
Squall shievered and stared down. He couldn't shake off Fear which was clawing against his temples now...
The "lonely" soldier.
What is this!? Is it the future? Is it the past? Is it a wish, or my imagination!? Why am I standing there like... Like a powerful, but broken man!?
"Ah, Squall, there you are!" came Rinoa's voice, pulling Squall out of his thoughts before they could make real progress.
"Rinoa..." Squall could say as the stranger approached him. Squall couldn't recognize Rinoa; not with that strange, crimson glare in her eyes. He could see the colour of her emotion as he gazed into those once beautiful eyes.
He sensed that, he was walking on thin ice; although he hadn't done anything.
"Come on. We're going back to the orphanage." Rinoa said.
"Fine, whatever." Squall said, pushing himself up.
Rinoa stretched out her hand for him to hold. Squall didn't touch her as he passed her by. He wanted to be away from her, suddenly. He blamed it all on Quistis' move; yet he couldn't find justification in that lie.
He smiled bitterly, and continued to walk. He felt Rinoa's bitter presence approach from behind him. He didn't care, for he was too lost in his own dilemma one more time.
Quistis or Rinoa... Two women of my life. Quistis, I love. Rinoa, I love. Rinoa I hate, and Quistis I hate. Two dilemmas at one time, and I can't cope with it.
I don't know. First, there was Sis. Then came Quistis, and now Rinoa. How can I decide?
Decide?
And what if I don't? What if I... what if I can't? What will happen then? Will I live with the two?
Live? I was about to die in the Time Compression... And now, they are forcing me to decide?
Forcing? They aren't forcing me! I cannot be forced to bend!
Not that I cannot be forced to bend...
...I will not bend!
He took his first step onto the stone steps. Then, he passed through the door and entered the building.
As he got to the place which was in shambles, he witnessed everyone sitting around with tiredness plain on their faces.
"Squall!" Quistis said, getting up immidiately. As Squall shot a confused, nervous look to her, he saw a meaningful silence in her eyes.
Do not talk about it. Please, just don't talk about it.
Squall didn't reply, he just stared away. His eyes found Selphie. She was sitting there, desolate, lonely, but still, as Squall watched, cheer started to fill her eyes. Squall smiled a little bit.
Selphie... Cheerful as always.
His gaze traveled across the room again, finding Irvine and Zell this time. They were lost in a conversation of whose Limit Break had dealt the death blow on Ultimecia. Squall's smile broadened a little bit more. They were still the same.
His eyes then found Quistis, who plainly smiled at him. Just to see that energetic smile shine through the darkness of his had felt divine to Squall. Squall smiled and continued to look.
He saw Edea, weeping in Cid'S arms. Cid appeared to be in sorrow as well. Squall briefly wondered why they would feel sad about the destruction of Ultimecia.
"Why are you crying, Matron?" Squall asked, "We won the battle."
Edea half-turned, and looked into his eyes. In that moment when their stares were locked, Squall felt her voice fade into his head as thoughts which were hard to dismiss;
You won the battle; but you lost yourself, Squall.
Squall stood there, pinned down to where he was standing. He shot a nervous look at Edea, and then, turned away.
By chance, his eyes met Rinoa's round, beautiful eyes. His own soulless eyes gazed into those round universes, and he saw his future, lying ahead of him.
A future with her.
This thought saddened him. Committing to her meant not being free. Freedom was his ultimate value. She would so sweetly destroy it. She would lovingly caress him as she secretly snucked away his freedom.
I would hate to break her heart... Hate it even more to have my own heart broken.
But we just got out of a battle. I can't let my head be filled with thoughts like that one just yet!
You better not.
Squall's eyes opened wide.
It was Rinoa's voice.
You can contact me through my thoughts?
What's worse, Lion, I saw you kissing Quistis Trepe out there. Thought I wouldn't notice, did you? I noticed. I was the one who hit you with a fire spell. Now I am the one speaking to you.
Rinoa smiled a little bit.
I see that you're irritated by this thought of me invading your anonimity. All I can say is, how can you do that to me!? How can you end up kissing her so willingly while I gave you life?
Yes, you gave me life... I don't deny that you did. But she gave me something pure; love. She gave me her unconditional love. She didn't expect me to hold her hand or whisper her romantism! She just kissed me out of the blue, knowing it was her only shot.
IT IS NOT THAT SIMPLE!!!
Rinoa's cry of anger made a sharp pain enter his temples, and Squall held his head, falling to his knees.
Everyone jumped up at this sudden and rather strange move. But it was Rinoa whom had fallen onto her knees as well, and had crawled up to Squall.
"Squall, what happened, are you alright?"
Squall looked into her eyes and shouted out with his thoughts;
Your shout almost split my skull open!
Squall I'm so sorry... Rinoa's voice faded into his head.
Squall smiled to her, knowing that she still loved him.
...But not too sorry. You shouldn'tve done what you did.
The smile of Squall's faded away.
You will learn why fear has a capital letter at the beginning of it(Fear) later on.