The Gift of Oneself
Written by xDarkxMagicianxGirlx and Ookami no Kokoro.
Disclaimers: Neither I nor Ookami no Kokoro own Yu Yu Hakusho, though we can wish, right?
Chapter Eight
Yusuke groaned as his eyes fluttered open, sunlight blinding him as he opened his eyes.
Kurama stirred slightly in his sleep, cuddling closer to the younger teen.
Blinking the sunlight away, he looked over and smiled as he saw the older teen still near him.
He fidgeted a little more, before opening his eyes. Seeing Yusuke, he smiled softly. "Morning," he whispered.
Good morning," he replied, leaning over and kissing him gently on the forehead. "How are you feeling?"
"Alright," he replied, closing his eyes to the kiss. "How about you?"
"Better.."
He sat up, stretching his body, before looking down at the younger teen's wound. "Maybe we should change that bandage....."
"I guess.." he replied, struggling slightly as he pushed his upper body up.
"You don't have to get up."
"But I want to," he replied, pulling himself up and leaning his back on the wall.
Kurama let out a small sigh. "You're very stubborn," he said, almost playfully, as he got off the bed.
He smiled slightly. "Almost as stubborn as you."
The fox smiled. Noticing the first aid kit was no longer there, he figured Atsuko had placed it back in the bathroom when she had awoken, since he didn't sense her in the apartment. He walked towards the bathroom to retrieve it.
Watching the fox leave, he leaned slightly forward to look out the bedroom doorway.
Taking the kit, he returned to the bedroom, leaning down next to the bed near Yusuke's injury.
He watched the other, he hadn't actually seen the wound yet. He smiled gently and moved his leg closer to the other.
Carefully, he lifted the other's leg, unwrapping the bandage and revealing a semi-large wound.
Yusuke blinked. "That thing barely hit me... I didn't think it would leave such a big wound.."
Kurama's eyes darkened slightly as he cleaned the wound. "That's Karasu's attack.....Even if it barely hits you, the explosion causes wounds like this.....I should know.....But you're lucky. This is one of the smaller wounds....."
The younger teen looked down at the bed, taking hold of the edge of a blanket and fiddling with it. "Maybe Kurama... you should stay with your family for a while.. so Kuronue can protect you.. I don't think I am going to be much help.."
He shook his head. "I'm not leaving you alone like this, Yusuke. Besides, it's my turn to protect you......."
He gave the other a sad smile and whispered, "Thanks, Kurama.." His eyes were still on his hands as they fiddled with the blanket.
Looking up at the other, he watched as he fiddled with the sheet. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing.." he replied, stopping abruptly. "I just don't want you to get hurt.."
"I won't get hurt. I have to make sure nothing happens to YOU, after all, so I won't get hurt."
He nodded, looking up at the other and giving him a gentle smile.
Smiling as well, he gently set the injured leg down on the bed. "All done," he said, closing the first aid kit.
"Thanks again, Kurama. I really appreciate it.."
He smiled, nodding. "It's the least I can do.....You've done so much for me, after all....." He turned, heading into the bathroom.
Leaning his head back against the wall, he sighed and closed his eyes.
Returning to the bedroom, he placed a plastic tray, which held fried rice and curry, on Yusuke's lap. "You're mother left that. I guess she figured we'd be hungry or something."
He opened his eyes, surprised, when he felt the tray on his lap. He looked at the food on the tray then at Kurama.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he looked at the younger teen and smiled. "You're mother bought it, and brought it back before she left."
He nodded, looking down at it then at Kurama. "Are you going to eat?"
He was about to say no, but knew the younger teen would reprimand him for doing so. Instead, he answered, "After you're finished. That's the only one there. And please, eat more than one bite."
He chuckled slightly and pouted playfully. "Now why would I do a thing like that?"
He just smiled, handing Yusuke a pair of chopsticks. "Just eat."
Taking a small bite, the teen started to play slightly with the rice. "It doesn't feel right.. eating while you're not.."
"Don't worry about it. I'm fine, really."
Eating about less then half of what was before him, he placed the chopsticks on the tray and pushed it towards Kurama. "I'm done."
Taking the tray, he looked at the younger teen curiously. "You're sure?"
He nodded. "I'm sure.."
Nodding also, the fox ate about as much as the other had. Taking the tray, he went to wrap what little of it was left.
The younger teen sighed, listening to the other teen's soft footsteps across the floor.
"Are you thirsty?" he called from the kitchen after putting the food away, pouring himself a glass of water.
"I guess so.." he replied back, knowing if he had said no, the older teen still would've forced him to drink something.
Pouring another glass, he reentered the bedroom, handing the glass to the other teen.
"Thanks." He smiled, before taking a gulp from the water and setting it on the dresser beside him.
He nodded, drinking some water himself. Placing it down on the dresser, he froze. He closed his eyes, hoping to sharpen his hearing.
Seeing the teen freeze, he watched the other close his eyes. He didn't say anything, not wanting to interrupt whatever he seemed to be listening to.
The fox, after a long while, opened his eyes again, his green depths darkening dangerously. "Karasu's here...."
Yusuke leaned forward, looking around.
He closed his eyes again. Karasu was talking to him inside his head. Opening his eyes, he began to head to the door.
"Wait! Where are you going?" he asked, concern filling his eyes.
He stopped, turning to look at the other over his shoulder. "Please, just stay here......."
Looking back, he said, "Promise you'll come back?"
He nodded. "I promise. But you have to promise that you'll stay here, no matter what happens..."
He nodded hesitantly. "All right..."
He smiled slightly, before turning around and leaving the apartment.
He bit his lip as he heard the door shut and whispered, "Please be careful, Kurama..."
The fox ran up to the roof, opening the door. Indeed, just as he had said, Karasu was waiting for him on the roof. He approached the crow slowly. "Alright, I'm here. Now what?"
"I think you know happens now."
Kurama's eyes narrowed. "Not this time. I'm not just giving myself up without a fight."
Fidgeting uncomfortably on the bed, he sighed and looked out the closed window.
"Really? Well, that's interesting.....But suppose--"
"No! This is between you and me, Karasu! I will no longer allow you to bring Yusuke or my family into this."
The crow shrugged, his body beginning to glow. "Fine." His aura spread out around him, like a wave, pushing past the fox.
Kurama did his best to keep his footing, using his arms to protect him.
The younger teen felt a cold shiver run down his spine and he looked at the ceiling. "Kurama.."
The energy suddenly disappeared, and the fox almost fell forward.
"It could be easier, you know. All you have to do is surrender."
Kurama looked up at him, glaring. "Never," he hissed.
"Fine...."
The redhead gasped as vines appeared from nowhere, wrapping around his body tightly.
Fidgeting again, Yusuke closed his eyes. Kurama is still worn out from last night.. I wish I didn't have to touch him to transfer energy.. he thought, trying to concentrate on the other teen.
Kurama growled, as the vines tightened their hold on his chest, trapping his arms by his side, and his legs, keeping them together. I can't control these! he realized after he had been trying for a while.
Karasu chuckled, watching the teen struggle. Closing the gap between them, he held the other's chin, looking into his emerald orbs. "You're perfect no matter what you do, you know that?"
Kurama scoffed, turning his head away from the other.
"Why did I promise I'd stay here?!" he growled, eyes still closed and trying to somehow concentrate his energy into leaving his body and going into Kurama's.
The fox growled as he felt a hand on his chest. Closing his eyes, he faintly felt a source of energy entering his body. Yusuke....?
The crow chuckled slightly. "So, what are you going to do?"
He turned back to the other demon. "This...." A thorny vine suddenly grew from his red hair, wrapping itself around the crow, who gasped in surprise.
The vines around the teen suddenly withered and disappeared, and he landed on the ground as the vine in his hair held Karasu above the ground.
The teen smiled, feeling his energy leaving him.
The fox glared at the other demon, glaring at him as his energy pulsed around him dangerously. Though he retained his human body, gold swirled in his emerald depths, as all thoughts of reason slowly left him. At the moment, all he knew were rage and pain, pointing to one course of action: death.
Leaning his head back on the wall, he kept his eyes closed, panting slightly. The thought of how much energy he was giving never crossed his mind, as long as the other had enough to keep himself alive.
Realizing the look in Kurama's eyes, Karasu knew to retreat, lest he tried to fight the now crazed Youko. He disappeared, the vine around him falling limply to the ground.
Even with the suddenly leave of the other demon, Kurama found that his Youko instincts had completely taken over his mind, in a desperate attempt to survive. He was trapped in his instincts to kill. Feeling the other's energy, he pushed it away, no longer accepting something that was not his.
He opened his eyes, feeling that Kurama no longer wanted his energy he stopped concentrating on it and looked out the window instead.
He looked around at the buildings. His Youko instincts longed for the scent of blood, and he held on to his anger, slowly rekindling it with his urge to kill. He could no longer fight it, nor wished to. He was too far past to return to his normal state without help.
Carefully leaning over, he opened the window, maybe hoping to hear something from outside where he was sure the fox was.
A slight sound was brought to his attention. Walking over to the edge of the roof, he looked down, seeing ebony hair. His eyes, watching the figure below, were pure gold, no longer held the warm emerald color from before.
Hearing nothing but silence, the younger teen turned to lean near the window. "Kurama.. you promised you'd come back.."
Something about the figure intrigued the Youko. Jumping, his foot landed on the open window sill, as he crouched down so that he could get a good look inside the room.
Jumping at the noise he looked over. "Kurama! You're all right..." He gave a relieved sigh and pulled the other gently through the window, not even noticing his eye color.
His eyes flickered their normal jade color, but quickly returned to gold. As the younger teen embraced him, he just sat there, unmoving.
"Kurama? Is something wrong?" he asked, eyes widening slightly when he noticed the other's golden orbs.
Saying nothing, he continued to sit there, looking at the delinquent with cold eyes.
He looked at the other, concern and worry flooding over him. "Please tell me what's wrong.. if this is about giving you my energy, I'm sorry.. but I was afraid.." His voice drifted off.
Still saying nothing, he raised a curious eyebrow.
Moving his injured leg, he winced slightly and scooted closer to the other teen. "Why won't you speak to me?"
The smell of blood filled his senses, and he averted his gaze, ever so slightly, to look at the teen's injured leg. Seeing the bandage, and knowing what it meant, he grinned, almost evilly.
"Kurama..?"
The gentle voice reached his ears, and for a moment, his eyes flickered again to their jade color. But, they soon returned to the cold golden color as he entered the room through the window.
The younger teen carefully watched the other enter the room, wondering what was wrong.
To kill again, to once more feel the touch of blood, is what the Youko thought he wanted. His body began to glow slightly.
Seeing the glow, his eyes widened a bit. "Kurama? What's going on?"
He was about to attack, but a white orb suddenly engulfed him, trapping him inside it.
The door opened, as Kuronue made his way into the bedroom.
Yusuke gasped and practically leapt up, causing his leg more pain than he should've. "Kurama!"
"That's not Kurama," the bat said. "At least not the Kurama you know."
He looked at the demon confused. "What do you mean, not Kurama?"
"His Youko instincts have taken over, too much for him to control. He's the same as when he was living in Makai. Without help, he can't think rationally, and his instincts will lead him to kill someone....or several someones...."
"How can we help?" he asked, concerned.
Kuronue looked at the ground. "Unfortunately, I can't do anything...." He looked at the teen. "But you can. You have to talk to him, remind him of who he really is...."
He nodded, slipping off the bed and standing, his legs swaying beneath him. Closing his eyes, he limped over to the energy orb. "Kurama.."
The redhead looked at the teen, no emotion in his golden orbs.
He looked at the other, tears welling up in his chocolate colored eyes as he looked at the other's emotionless ones. "Kurama, I kept my promise.. I stayed here.. Do you remember the promise you made me?"
His eyes flickered slightly.
"You promised you'd come back.." he replied gently, the warm droplets running down his cheeks.
His instincts conflicted with the emotion that rose within him as he watched the tears run down the cheeks of the person in front of him. His mind argued between the need to kill, and the promise he had made.
"You promised me Kurama.. and you never break your promises..." he replied, gently raising his hand to touch the white energy orb.
Hesitantly, the redhead placed a hand where Yusuke's was, blocked only by the white orb. The gold slowly faded to a dark green hue. "Y....Y-Yusuke....."
Tears dripped down his cheeks in slight relief as he looked in at the other. He nodded gently. "Yes, it's me.. please snap out of it because I need you, Kurama.."
His eyes faded back to gold, then jade, much like a flickering light. He seemed to be torn between two things, conflicting in his mind.
Turning to look at Kuronue in the door way, Yusuke asked, "Can you get rid of the orb? Please?"
"Are you sure you want to do that? Since he doesn't really know much about his life here, he might attack and try to kill you......"
"Please?" he asked again, this time his voice pleading. "It's worth the risk."
Hesitantly, he nodded. The orb then floated and gently landed on the bed, disappearing so that the fox was sitting on the mattress.
Slowly going towards the other, he leaned over and embraced the fox, small tears falling onto the other's shoulder. "C'mon Kurama, you have to remember.."
Once again, his eyes flickered from gold to jade, this time lingering on the emerald hue. Hesitantly, his arms encircled the younger teen, returning the embrace, as tears fell from his own eyes.
Feeling the older teen's arms around him, he moved a bit, so that his face was before the other's. He brushed his lips over Kurama's, hoping the other would return it.
Closing his eyes, the tears fell more rapidly as he quickly returned the kiss, gently, before pulling away and looking down at the bed.
"Kurama...?" He looked at the older boy.
He shuddered slightly, refusing to look up. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry......."
"Sorry... for what?"
"I....I could have....I almost....tried to hurt you......I could have killed you.......I'm so sorry......"
"Kurama, it's all right," he replied, embracing the other tightly.
He shook his head, though returning the embrace. "No, it's not.....If it happens again......I don't know if I'll be able to come back......."
"I'll help you come back... I promise.." he whispered, gently kneeling down on the floor in front of the teen. When he put his injured leg down, he winced slightly as a semi-healed cut reopened and the red blood stained the bandage.
Seeing the other wince, he looked over the edge of the bed. Seeing the wound reopened, he tugged at the other, urging him to sit on the bed.
Getting up slowly, he sat next to the other on the bed.
Tears began to fill his eyes again. "I've cause you so much pain....." he said, guilt thick in his voice. "I'm so sorry......"
"Kurama.. you haven't caused me any pain.." he replied, trying to look into the other's eyes, sighing when the other kept his gaze on the bed.
"I have...." He looked up, the tears sliding down his cheeks. "I cause everyone I care about pain, even if it's never intentionally. Everyone I care about gets hurt because of me...."
Kuronue, knowing that the fox included him, looked down at the ground.
"Nothing was your fault.." he replied gently.
"He's right," Kuronue said. "I was killed because of my own carelessness. You, after all, warned me not to go after my pendant, but I did so anyway. You had nothing to do with it."
He nodded in agreement. "Everything that's happened, I've chosen to get into, knowing full well of the risks.. you can't blame yourself.."
"And, after having gotten caught, I chose to protect you. It was my own decision, and I knew that I could very well get killed. But it wasn't your fault."
"But it IS my fault, because you both choose to do this for ME," the fox replied stubbornly, tears still falling from his eyes. "And what of my mother? And my family, who are unwilling set in these situations because of me?"
Yusuke sighed gently, pulling the other closer to him and looking him straight in the eyes. "This isn't your fault.. And even if your family knew about all this, they'd still choose to protect you.. because they love you.."
Kurama looked into the other's eyes, tears still falling from his own. Closing his eyes, he leaned into the other, shivering slightly.
Wrapping his arms around the older teen's body, he gently rubbed small circles on the fox's back.
Watching the two for a while, Kuronue turned silently, deciding to take his leave. Yusuke can take care of Kurama better than I can, he thought, almost sadly. The door creaked quietly as he closed it behind him.
Looking up, the younger teen noticed Kuronue had left. Not really thinking much of it, he continued to rub the other's back gently.
The older teen sniffed slightly. He would have felt rather empty had it not been for Yusuke.
Yusuke scanned over the teen briefly, making sure he was all right before brushing his lips gently over the other's forehead.
Feeling the other's lips brush over his forehead, he couldn't help but smile, cuddling closer to the teen.
Feeling the other get closer, a smile formed on his lips as well.
His smile disappeared, as he began to think about what had taken place beforehand. Thinking of what he could have done to the other, he shuddered.
"Are you okay?" Yusuke asked gently, feeling the other shudder in his arms.
"I don't know.......It still scares me......what I could have done to you.....what I almost did to you....."
Yusuke looked at the other, not really knowing what to say.
He shifted slightly, beginning to try and move away from the other. "Maybe....I should go...."
"No.. please don't..." he replied, trying to keep Kurama from leaving.
He stopped moving, looking up at the other teen. "I'm.....just afraid of what might happen....."
"Nothing will happen, Kurama.."
"I don't mean now. I mean, if Karasu were to come back, he might attack. Then my instincts will take over again, and......that might keep happening, and it might get harder every time to bring me back........I might not even come back at all......."
Yusuke sighed, looking down at the bed beneath him. He wasn't sure what to say to make the other feel better, because he knew what the other said might happen.
"I....I just don't want to hurt you, Yusuke. I don't want to hurt anyone, really, but least of all you. But, if I try to fight Karasu back.....that's going to happen, just like before......."
"It will all work out though.. I mean if you want to come back, then there is always a way to do it.."
"But what if I can't, Yusuke? I tried, I really did, but I couldn't come back before. I didn't even recognize you at first. If it happens again, you might not live long enough to bring me back....."
"I promised I wouldn't leave you, Kurama. And, like you, I always keep my promises.." he replied softly, looking at the other..
"But.....if something happens to you because of me.....I'll never forgive myself......"
Yusuke brushed a few strands of crimson hair out of the other's eyes. "I'll be fine.."
Tears once again resurfaced, sliding down his cheeks.
The younger teen embraced the other slightly.
"What am I going to do?" he asked, almost sobbing. "I'm afraid of my instincts taking over....and if I fight Karasu, that's going to happen again....But if I don't fight him......"
"Don't worry about me, Kurama... If your instincts take over, I'll do everything I can to bring you back.. and it's my choice, so if I get hurt it was because of my own carelessness."
He looked up at the younger teen. "But that's the whole point, Yusuke! I don't care about myself, I really don't. I wouldn't even be alive right now. I'm only alive because of you, and if you get hurt......" He looked away again.
"Then I won't get hurt..." he replied, as if it was something simple. He kept his eyes on the other, even though Kurama wasn't looking at him.
He looked up again. "But..."
"I won't..." he replied again, tightening his embrace slightly.
Feeling himself being drawn closer, he leaned against the younger, resting his head on his shoulder.
He gave the other a small slightly sad smile, gently resting his head on top of the other's.
He shivered slightly, closing his eyes. Another tear escaped, falling and soaking into Yusuke's shirt. I can't stay, he thought. I don't want Yusuke hurt because of me.....again.....
Feeling the tear drop onto his shirt, Yusuke gently rubbed small circles onto the other's back.
Looking up, he gently placed a kiss on the other's lips. I'll leave when he isn't aware....So I can get away without him being able to find me....
Yusuke gently kissed back, a small tingle running down his spine.
He deepened the kiss slightly, before pulling away. He longed for the warmth, the feeling, but knew he couldn't give in. It would be that much harder to leave.
The younger teen thought it was a bit strange that Kurama had pulled away so fast, but he didn't question the other.
Smiling sadly, he pulled away from the other and slid off the bed, walking towards the kitchen.
"Where are you going?" he asked, about to get up.
He turned back to the other. "Bathroom," he replied softly, continuing until he reached the said destination. The door creaked softly as he closed it behind him.
He nodded, sliding back to lean against the wall.
The fox simply stood in front of the sink, avoiding to look at himself in the mirror. He needed to think of how to get away without the younger teen following him, or trying to find him. There's always the forgetful grass.....He'll forget whatever I ask to be forgotten. I can completely rid my existence from his memories. That way, it won't be painful for him.....
Yusuke sighed, listening to the cars drive by on the road below. Hopefully Kurama doesn't do anything he'll regret.
But I don't have any forgetful grass here, he reminded himself. Wait.....I think I can get some at the park. If Yusuke comes with me, though, I don't know if the grass will knock him out long enough for me to take him back here without him waking up and seeing me....
The teen closed his eyes, trying to hear any sound from the other teen in the bathroom.
Kurama bit his bottom lip, trying to think. Maybe.....That's what I should do.....if he doesn't remember who I am, I wouldn't have to dwell on it much, and Karasu will have to leave him alone.... Letting out a small sigh, he opened the bathroom door, walking out.
Hearing the door open, the younger teen opened his eyes and waited patiently for the other to return to the bedroom.
The fox teen smiled softly. "Maybe we should go for a walk," he said. "I feel the need to get out."
"Okay.." He smiled, sliding gently to the side of the bed. Placing both feet on the floor, he slowly stood and walked over.
"How's your leg?"
"Fine.." he said simply.
The look in his eyes showed that he didn't believe the younger teen, but said nothing about it.
Seeing the look in the older teen's eyes, he noticed the other hadn't said anything, so he didn't either.
Looking at the other, he smiled again, opening the door. "I feel like going to the park," he said quietly, trying to hide the guilt in his voice.
"All right, sounds good," he replied, smiling softly back. Pulling his shoes on he walked out the door.
Closing the door, he walked next to the delinquent. He felt something eating away at his heart. I can't feel guilty, I'm doing this for him. There's no time for second thoughts now.....
"So where in the park are we going?" he asked, walking close to the other teen.
"I'm not sure," he replied. "I just thought we might look around and relax."
"Okay." He looked at the other teen, smiling gently.
Seeing the other smile, he looked away again. I CAN'T feel guilty.....I just CAN'T.....!
Yusuke's smile faded when he saw the other look away. Instead, he sighed silently and looked ahead.
They reached the park, entering the quiet area and leaving the busy noise behind them. Kurama looked around at the greenery, finally seeing what he needed to find: forgetful grass.
The younger teen looked around, wondering what the other had planned.
He was about to walk over to the forgetful grass, but stopped. I'd have to get Yusuke to eat it somehow, or to create a serum for him to take. But I can't have Yusuke watching me and asking questions about it.......
He sighed, folding his hands behind his head and looking up at the blue sky. The silence was really starting to get to him, and he hoped for something to break it.
I have to get him to do something.... the fox thought. But what?
Yusuke looked over at the other teen, standing around was starting to bother his injured leg and he fidgeted slightly.
Looking at the other, he looked around until he spotted a bench. "Maybe you should sit down over there," he said, pointing to the bench. If he sits there, his back will be towards me, and he won't see what I'm going to do.
"All right.." He nodded, starting towards the bench.
He let out a small sigh, seeing the other sit on the bench. Turning, he walked over to where he found the grass, pulling some out of the ground.
Gently leaning forward, Yusuke started to rub his leg. From where he was, he couldn't see the other or what he was doing. I wish Kurama wouldn't try and push me away..
He vaguely wondered why he had a small container in his pocket, or where it came from, but didn't dwell on it as he poured the serum into it. Now.....I have to get Yusuke to take it somehow....
"Kurama..?" Yusuke asked, not turning around. "Are... you coming over?"
He closed the top of the container, putting it back in his pocket. "Coming," he said, standing. He walked over to where the other was, sitting down next to him.
"What were you doing?" he asked, a little concern in his voice.
"Nothing," he lied. Subconsciously, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, feeling the container in one of them.
He nodded, smiling gently at the other teen.
He smiled back, though forced as more guilt consumed his soul.
Yusuke noticed the forced smile, but didn't say anything. Looking away from the other, he looked at the ground, rubbing his injured leg subconsciously.
"Are you alright?" Kurama asked, watching the other rub his leg.
Stopping suddenly, he said, "Yes.. I'm fine.."
"Do you need some medicine for that? I can make healing herbs for it....."
He looked at his leg, then at Kurama. "I don't know.."
"It'll help...."
He nodded slightly, looking at the ground.
Smiling a bit, he slid off the bench and knelt down at the ground. Pulling seeds from his hair, he dug a hole in the ground and buried them. They grew suddenly.
Yusuke watched the seeds grow, smiling gently.
Pulling the container from his pocket, he placed the blossom of the plant into it, crushing it into a liquid before Yusuke could see it had been already full.
The younger teen sat patiently, watching the other.
Getting to his feet, he turned to the other, holding the container. "This should help," he said softly.
Smiling, he took the container. "Thanks Kurama."
He watched as Yusuke placed the container to his lips, about to drink the liquid inside. "Wait," he said suddenly.