Disclaimer and Summary: See Chapter 1

Chapter 4:

Angry at the fact that there was no hot sword-welding Japanese poet for whom she was woken up for, Pam looked out the window while the others came up with the plan of all plans. She caught random words here and there, including "lip gloss", "penguins", "collective maiming", "shun", "blonde fury", "food", and "massive bad hair day". Just as she was about to contribute to the conversation, (wanting to burn and chop up random people with her sword), something outside caught her eye. No, wait, someone. All she saw was beautiful, long, blood-red hair, the glint of a silver earring, and the graceful swaying of a black cloak before a high-pitched laughter snapped her back to reality.

Corinne was laughing hysterically at something Lauren just said, and was rolling around on the floor. Pam smiled, pulled out her lighter to play with, and looked back outside.

He was gone..

"Dammit!" She hissed, earning her weird looks from her friends.

"Umm...Pammie?" Alyssa asked sweetly.

"Yes?"

"Your cloaks on fire!" Lindsay yelled.

Pam jumped and started putting out the flames, hiding her embarrassment. Lauren was already at the window. They did like the same guys, after all. And it had to be some guy.

"There's no one there," Pam said quietly, changing out of her burned robes.

Her mood changing instantly, she grinned wickedly and said, "So..the plan of all plans.."

Pam's mysterious "distraction" soon forgotten, they all gathered around Alyssa's bed and began to scheme.

Meanwhile, he sat outside of the building leading up to the Gryffindor Tower, and looked up at her just as she left the window. He had watched her many times...not in a creepy "I'm-watching-you" sort of way, but just those moments when she was quiet, alone, when she thought no one was looking. Hah. How wrong she was. After all, James Potter was certainly not the only one with an Invisibility Cloak...

"Alyssa!" Lindsay yelled through the door. "You need to stop doing your hair! I need the straightener!"

Suddenly, as Corinne walked in with coffee for everyone, though 3 of the 5 cups were already empty, James, Sirius, and Remus emerged in the dormitory as well.

"Does the staircase not work anymore? You're not supposed to be in here!" Lauren yelled.

"We are here", Sirius started, "to escort you fair ladies to breakfast."

"Number 1, we don't need escorts, number 2, if we did, it wouldn't be y-"

"Oh, Sirius, you can escort me to breakfast," Marianna waltzed in, batting her eyelashes at him. Marianna was a skanky Russian transfer student.

"OH NO YOU WILL NOT!" all five girls stood up and yelled.

"But-"

"Out!"

"I haven't-"

"Out!"

"You have no-"

"Why aren't you gone yet?"

Reluctantly she swung her greasy blond hair and walked away with very bad posture.

"Ok, so-"

But before James could finish his sentence, several boys ran in the room.

First, came the signing quartet of boys that follow Alyssa around wanting to wash her hair. Then Vinny, a boy who had been in love with Alyssa for years, came in. All four girls pointed to the bathroom door where Alyssa remained in a misty haze of hair care products.

"Alyssa?" he said in an awestruck voice. "I've just realized! We're soul mates! We both have an intense love for clothes and hair! We're perfect for each other! Come, let me whisk you off to a corner where we may explore each other's facial orifices."

And they left.

James decided to have a hissy fit.

Then Josh and George, two guys who have routinely asked out both Alyssa and Lindsay for about 2 years, waltzed in just as Alyssa and Vinny came out, faces already attached. Lindsay just glanced at them both and silently walked out. Remus followed her.

Pam seemed to catch something outside that caught her interest.

"I gotta go....see something," she said before running out of the room.

Lauren was having a fight with Sirius about something literally unimportant to anyone else, got mad, and left as well.

"But what about the PLAN?!?" Corinne yelled after her four friends.

Corinne wandered around Gryffindor Tower, thinking vaguely about going back down to the Great Hall for a second breakfast, when she ran into Lucius Malfoy for the second time in two days.

"God," Corinne said, "Can we put a bell on you or something?"

"Good morning to you, too," he said, bending down to kiss her cheek.

"We really need to plan our little escapades better," Corinne said, as she started to laugh, which turned into a complete laughing/coughing fit. Lucius silenced her with another kiss.

At that very moment, Pam rounded the corner with her mysterious stranger.

"Corinne! What are you doing? And with HIM???"

"Nothing...eww Malfoy, get away from me!" Corinne tried to act like she couldn't stand the sight of him, but it was difficult...

"What are YOU doing?" Corinne retorted back at Pam. "Who's that?"

"Oh, him? I have no idea, he just started following me..." Pam said very unconvincingly.

"You know what, it's obvious we're both lying. Let's just pretend this never happened," Corinne said.

Pam smiled, liking Corinne's devilish side. "I won't tell if you won't!"

"Deal!" and the two pairs turned and went their separate ways.

At exactly 8 o'clock, the five girls met at the statue of Barnabas the Boring as they had planned.

"Do you have the stuff?" Lindsay asked.

"I have the essence of bat wings, the itching powder, the slug slime, and the color-changing concoction," Pam said.

"But we're still missing the dash of gillyweed and the bottle of burning salamander scales!" Lauren sighed.

"Oh, I got Vinny to get those for us," Alyssa said, "and a camera too, so we could capture the moment forever."

"Okay, then we're ready. To the kitchens!" Corinne shouted dramatically.

For once, going to the kitchens was actually part of "the plan" and not just a detour because Corinne was hungry. Alyssa ran ahead of everyone and tickled the pear in the picture.

"Finally, I get to tickle something," she giggled. The painting turned into a door, and the 5 girls jumped inside.

"Hey house elves! We need your help!" Lindsay shouted.

"How can I help you misses?" said the first elf.

"Can you show us what plates are going to the Slytherin table, and the back half of the Gryffindor Table?" Lindsay asked in her best innocent-girl voice.

The house elves pointed them out immediately, and the girls hurried over.

"Okay, mix all the stuff together, then add it to the food. As soon as the Slytherins and the Marauders bite into their food, little pixie things will dance around in their stomachs, and will literally throw a party in their guts." Alyssa grinned.

They poured the mixture on so it looked like gravy. Then they left the kitchens and sat in their seats at the breakfast table. No one saw Corinne lean over as she passed Malfoy and whisper, "Don't eat the food."

The food appeared, and the boys all shoved their faces in it. Almost instantly, their faces turned in interesting shade of purple...then all hell broke loose.

A/N: thanks so much to HPelvenfaeiry for reviewing! And of course to my NAMs (who, because I must point out the obvious, did write, like, almost this whole story!)