Parrot Or Taming Raph's Mouth

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Chapter Three – Solution

Raph hustled into the lair, he had enough time to think things over and figure out what he wanted to say, now he was ready to say it. He was determined to have his say with his family, and if there was any justice in this world, which Raph often doubted, he wouldn't have to do as many damn, beeping, expletive, mutter-mutter, friggin flips, if his family would accept what he had to say.

Personally Raph had, had just about enough of the flips and every once in a while he could still taste the lingering after taste of the soap in his mouth. It was something that Raph wasn't sure if he would ever get rid of.

He searched out Leo, Mike and Splinter telling them he only had to talk to them. He didn't worry about Don being in on it, if the main members of the clan the Jonin and the chunin agreed it was enough. Mike was there simply because Rama was involved but disturbing Don wasn't really pertinent for this particular meeting.

They met in the kitchen Leo was preparing some tea for all of them and he turned from the stove to eye Raph suspiciously. It wasn't often that Raph bothered to call for a meeting, in fact Raph usually tried to avoid them because he considered them to be ' a regular pain in the shell.'

Leo was aware that Raph could be offended by their earlier stunt of washing his mouth out, but the family was growing tired of his continued foul language. Raph's stance and attitude though was not one of offence, or of indignation.

Leo reached out trying to get a better handle on what his brother wanted, but Raph was keeping his thoughts closed off to them.

Leo gave a grim smile as he leaned against the counter " So what is up Raph?" he asked curiously.

Raph glared at each of them including Splinter, though Raph didn't hold his gaze on the Master as long as he did on his brothers.

" First off. I want to say this whole situation Bites!" Raph announced sharply.

Mike rolled his eyes in frustration " We've gone over this Raph. Why can't you clean up your act" He demanded accusingly. " You know how hard it is hearing that kind of crap coming from my two year old?" he demanded.

" I can't just turn it off Mike" Raph snapped back slightly. " He…Has it ever occurred to any of youse guys that you permitted me this mouth for years. Now you expect me to just quit like that," Raph snapped his fingers to emphasise his remark. " If I gotta do flips for my mouth. Seems you ought to be doin' flips for lettin' me have it in the first place." He pointed out.

Leonardo turned from pouring the hot water into the teapot " We didn't allow you" he corrected fuming slightly at Raph's words. He stalked towards the table.

Splinter raised one hand and rested it on Leonardo's arm giving him a very subtle but stern look.

Splinter had been trying to figure out what to do about the problem at hand and had spent the many hours since Raph disappeared in meditation.

" Raphael makes a point Leonardo, and he is entitled to speak his piece" Splinter insisted.

Leo turned, to look at his mentor, giving a frustrated look Raph's way.

Raph feeling smug at Splinter's words and silent rebuke of Leo tucked his thumbs into his belt and leaned back in the chair balancing it on the back two legs.

" Yes, Master but it wasn't that we so much as permitted Raph to speak that way rather, we just gave up when he continued to use that sort of language. We let it go instead of pushing him to behave correctly." Leo pointed out.

" Yes, but by shrugging it off and feeling no real harm came of the matter, we still permitted his behaviour." Splinter replied calmly, " I had felt it was a way he chose to express himself that he would grow out of in time. Typically he did not want to be denied his expressions" Splinter explained he shook his head " Teenagers are so difficult."

Raph grinned recalling that it had been in his early teens or pre teens when he had started to cuss with any regularity not even fearing the smacks that he'd receive from the Master's stick. If anything those hits had only encouraged him to defy his father further.

Splinter gave a regretful sigh " Yet hearing such words coming from Ramiela's mouth makes me wish that I had done things differently" he wrinkled his furry nose, " it is most unfitting to hear such words coming from the child."

Splinter's last words and look of disgust quickly wiped the smirk off Raph's face as he realized that his Master was even less amused to hear Rama, his granddaughter, repeating the words he cared little for any ways.

" I have been meditating on this for a bit and I fear our tactics will only drive a wedge between you my sons instead of pulling you together." Splinter continued, he gave a pained look to Raphael that was full of regret and sincerity " forgive us for our mistakes my son but this behaviour can not continue, nor should we force you away either." Splinter confessed " I realize now that ingrained habits can not be broken by mere discipline alone."

" He didn't even try though Master." Leo stated grudgingly, " If Raph didn't care for the flips then…"

" Leonardo in chess one does not treat a pawn as a king. All parts are separate and each has their own place in the game." Splinter cut in, " With people, too, you must learn that what works for one will not work for another for each person has their own idiosyncrasies that must be dealt with."

Leo bowed his head slightly in acquiescence " Then what are we supposed to do so everyone is happy with the problem at hand?"

" We must think of another solution of course. One that will support Raphael without pushing him into anger at us, while going along with Michaelangelo's desire to have Ramiela speaking more appropriately."

" Easier said then done." Mike muttered.

Raph grinned, " Maybe not Mike for I have an idea, it is one Casey gave me and it just might work."

Splinter smiled as he cast a pleased look to his sons. They were all fully aware of Casey's behaviour before hand, and of course it was hard to miss the changes in Casey since he married April.

" Look I don't mind havin' to do flips but the number of them and having to do it both for what I say and what Rama says is outrageous." Raph complained as he allowed the chair to bang back into position.

" I agree you got a point Raph. It isn't right or fair, however I can't do much about Rama's mouth until you show some improvement your self." Mike declared " If I catch Rama swearing when you cut down or aren't at home well I can give her time out. But it won't work unless you cut down too." Mike frowned a bit " Rama has to learn such talk isn't appreciated by us. It is just she likes you Raph." Mike shook his head as if he couldn't quite figure out why such a thing was so.

Splinter nodded " She admires Raphael and looks up to him."

Raph chuckled as Leo started to serve the tea, " Master Rama looks up to every body in the clan she doesn't have a choice."

Splinter laughed a little too, " Yes, that is true too." He agreed.

Leo snorted as he sat down at their table " Some role model. Maybe you can use that influence, though, to help Mike with Rama more."

Raph crossed his arms over his plastron " I'm not a babysitter. I don't look after kids."

" Raph I know you prefer to play with Rama when it suits you and I try my best to make sure she doesn't bother you in the mornings." Mike informed Raph, " It is just she's just so darn slippery at times." He lamented then grinned a bit " She could be part eel for all I know."

Splinter gave a small secretive smile " A child can be every where at once, while an adult can only follow behind."

Raph shrugged, " I guess she's part of the family I might as well get used to the kid have a feeling she ain't leaving soon." He grunted.

" You got a point Raph she's two might as well accept her now." Leo admitted.

Raph outlined Casey's plan of using other words to substitute the unnecessary words.

" I suppose if you are willing to do it Raph. It might work" Leo allowed grudgingly.

" However any swear word you say will still earn flips" Splinter declared, " But if you go one day without swearing perhaps it could be permitted for you to rent a movie or game you would like."

Raph grinned, " Now that is what I'm talkin' about a reward plan. What if I manage a week without swearing?" Raph wondered suddenly. Then he popped in a suggestion " Will I get a whole weekend without having to share the remote."

Splinter, probably unaware of what a grand prize that would be quickly agreed while Leo and Mike passed looks between them. Mike's arched eye ridges said clearly it would never happen.

Leo meanwhile looked as if he had found something interesting on the tabletop that held his attention, though Mike knew the fearless leader was trying his best not to laugh.

By the time the meeting broke up, they were all feeling pretty good about the matter and most of them were hoping that Raph would at least try to do his part.

…..

Of course the first few days weren't easy on Raph. He tried he really did, but old habits do die hard and more often then not Raph ended up cursing, which meant he was stuck doing flips.

Raph though was starting to pay attention to Rama's words whenever she was around him. He knew the kid could talk, it was just that he never bothered much with her childish prattle. He longed for more intelligent conversation then that found with a two year old, so he intended to ignore her for the most part.

Now though he focused on her and what she was saying. He realized that Rama often said the words Unca Raphie, she talked about him lots with others as well as using it when talking to him specifically.

It was true the kid loved him and would probably follow him any where if he permitted it, funny thing was though Raph didn't know what he had done to get this sort of loyalty.

' She really does like me!' Raph mused to himself, almost astonished with the thought. She seemed to have accepted him just for who he was, and Raph knew there were very few people who would even want to be around him.

The whole idea of it made Raph feel something he hadn't felt for a long time.

The other thing Raph became aware of after spending a few days around Rama playing and really listening to her, was how often the kid did swear. Boy that kid, had a mouth on her and she knew how to use it too!

No wonder Mike was tired of him swearing, it stood to reason that if he swore, Rama who quite clearly, did look up to him would imitate him. If he had this sort of influence on her at the age of two, what the heck would the kid be like six or ten years from now? He wondered silently.

Even Raph found the words that Rama spewed from her mouth like " hell, damn" often combined with the dreaded f-word caused him to wince, and consider what better words the kid could learn instead of the filth she seemed content to repeat.

" So help me I am going stop that kid from saying that crap if it is the last thing I do." Raph muttered to himself as he clenched his fists tightly.

It was one vow Raph fully intended to keep to the bitter end.

……

A few days after Raph had made this vow, he was busy playing with Rama. Rama was of course overjoyed that her Uncle had been spending so much time playing with her and having fun. She loved nothing better, then when Unca Raphie played for his games and ideas were amusing to the toddler.

Now Raph held her in an arm pretending to fly her about flipping her and doing other wild aerial acrobatics by tossing her in the air, while Rama squealed with pleasure.

Raph turned to sharply and accidentally stubbed his toe quite hard into a small table in the living room, a rather klutz move for the ninja.

" Duckling it but that hurts!" Raph fumed in pain, far more upset with himself then with the pain in his toe.

" Fuck." Rama agreed fully with her Uncle as he put her down.

Mike who had been watching TV had heard the exchange and, his sharp senses told him that this time Raph had said nothing wrong. He got up off the couch and came towards Rama a dark look on his face. " You are not supposed to say those bad words Rama. Time out for you." Mike stated simply.

" Unca Raphie say it!" Rama insisted as she backed up and shook her head no.

" Uncle Raph said duck" Mike corrected stressing the d, " As in a bird that goes quack." Mike swooped Rama up in his arms and packed her off to her room in spite of her yelling at the top of her lungs.

" No! NO!"

Mike left her in her room for a few minutes while he and Raph relaxed on the couch before going to release his daughter from confinement. Rama scrambled past him and went immediately in search of her favourite Uncle.

Soon as she spotted Raph on the couch she went forward sniffing a bit " Unca Raphie."

" You go play," Raph ordered pushing her away before turning back to the show.

A look of sheer confusion crossed Rama's face in the last few days Raphie had not been rejecting her, now his actions clearly puzzled her.

" Unca Raphie!" she spoke louder just so he would hear her.

Raph pointedly ignored the toddler.

" Raphie pway Rama." She begged quickly, maybe if she told him what she wanted he'd continue the game.

Raph turned a dark look on his niece " No!" he snapped sharply, " I don't play with kids who say such bad words. I don't like kids that talk like that." Raph declared as he crossed his arms over his plastron.

" Raphie says it!" Rama reminded him, " Raphie pway!" she demanded as she tugged at an elbow pad as if she could force him to play.

" No forget it. You go play by your self I don't want to play with you." Raph replied pushing her away.

Mike had watched these events unfold realized, his brother was taking a hand in the matter in spite of his talk that he wasn't a baby sitter. He smiled inwardly perhaps Raph could with his rebuke teach Rama that such words gained her nothing.

Still Mike was flabbergasted at this sudden reversal in Raph's words from the meeting. Mike didn't mind a little help with disciplining Rama the child was used to other members of the family helping to keep to the rules and this wasn't that different.

Rama turned and went over to Mike she looked up at him eagerly. " Daddy?"

" What you want Rama?" Mike asked.

" Raphie no pway Rama" Rama informed her father in such a way that it left no doubt, that she wanted her dad to do something about this matter.

Mike grinned as he looked at the toddler who was watching him with great expectations. " Tough luck Rama. Be a good girl and maybe Raph might play with you. Raph doesn't want to play and I don't blame him."

The large rounded eyes and gaping mouth assured Mike that wasn't the response she had been expecting from her father. She sniffed a little then in an almost hopeful tone asked " Daddy pway?"

" Nope. I don't play with girls who talk like that either." Mike decided.

Rama looked from one to the other confused by this she sat down and cried loudly, Mike allowing her to cry herself out without offering any sympathy. When she had cried herself out she crawled up on to Mike's lap and snuggled close sniffing a bit dejectedly.

….

It was a lesson that was to be repeated a few more times over the days that passed.

By then Raph was starting to show some small improvement in the language department, a success, though small, that had not gone unnoticed by the rest of the family.

Rama was starting to understand that when she said those words she ended up in her room and after wards no body wanted to play with her. She loved playing especially with Uncle Raphie. So these lessons struck hard with her, but they needed repeating because she had a hard time fully understanding it.

It was a few weeks later and the boys were sparring Leo against Raph, Don against Mike during a practice session, while Splinter oversaw them and kept an eye on Rama who also watched her head turning constantly as she tried to take in both matches at once.

Leo managed to grab Raph and toss him, the throw had been done with a bit more force then was necessary and Raph landed hard on his carapace.

The impact of the landing seemed to jolt through his entire back, even though he had landed on the exercise mats " Damn it Leo!" Raph roared.

Rama gasped at his sudden words holding her hand over her mouth before turning to Splinter " Piner, No pway Raphie. He baaaad! No pway." She shook her head no as she announced this.

Mike started to laugh slapping his thigh with one hand " Yeah you have to send Raph for time out now Sensei" Mike managed to say through his merriment.

Don was trying not to laugh but even he was finding it hard not to chuckle over Rama's words.

Soon one after the other the family gave in, laughing at the very thought of not playing with Raph or sending him to his room. Even Raph joined in begging Splinter to send him to his room.

Rama glanced from one to another of her relatives wondering why they were all laughing, something had to be funny and not wanting to be left out Rama decided to laugh too. She joined her merry bubbling chuckles to the rest of the clans.

….

As time went on Rama said less of those bad words, and so did Raph. Raph though had not fully broken the habit of swearing though, for on occasion every once in a while a swear word would be hurled out. The family for the most part allowed these small lapses, giving Raph perhaps only a stern look as a silent warning.

Raph meanwhile had more then accepted Rama he had almost attached himself to the toddler and the two were often in one another's company. Raph had gotten used to playing with her and the surly turtle seemed a bit happier for the time he spent with his niece.
Mike was looking for Rama now so she could have her lunch, Mike paused outside the playground as he heard their voices.

" Duck" came an exuberant yell that could only have come from Rama.

" Quack, quack" came Raph's response to the word.

Mike heard Rama laugh, as he realized Raph was doing a very good imitation of a duck. Mike carefully peeked around the corner and saw a sight he thought he would never see.

There was Raph his arms bent at his elbows, flapping away as he made the noise of a duck and waddled around all for Rama's amusement. Rama between her cheerful chortles flapped her arms up and down as she tried to copy her Uncle.

" Wack . Wack" she said as she followed in the ninja's footsteps.

Mike had to clamp a hand over his mouth and hold his sides. ' Why do we have to be mutants,' Mike asked himself, 'this could win America's funniest videos easily.'

When he peered around the corner he saw Raph tossing the child and catching her again.

" You are the best thing that ever happened to any of us kid." Raph told her as he caught her to hold her close.

Rama threw her arms about her uncles neck " Wuv you Unca Raphie."

" I love you too Rama" Raph echoed.

Mike gave a small smile as he slunk off Rama's lunch could wait he decided. It wasn't often the toughest, hardest, most bitter and cynical ninja of their clan would relax his guard enough to show his softer loving side.

" That girl has definitely inherited my charm, and she has the ability to melt a heart of ice." Mike began to whistle as he headed off into the lair.

The End.

Author's note: thus begins Rama's rein of wrapping Uncle Raphie around her fingers. This is one of the few stories where Raph says no to the kid. Hope you all enjoyed.

Splinter: I'm sure you know idle threats are useless especially when dealing with Raphael, he is the sort that calls a bluff. A gratitude for your insight.

Reinbeauchaser: As you know, congrats, on all your wins! You cleaned up this year. Well earned too.

There are two times that a person just might clean up their act for another 1) Love.2) Kids. In this story I used a bit of both Raph starting to love his niece. A gratitude for your insight.

Lenni: Congrats! on your win of best moral story in the TMNT competition. Yes poor Raph got his mouth washed out. Poor turtle. Here is your last update on this story. A gratitude for your insight.

Buslady: Ah that sounds promising. Raph's mouth does provide such interesting fodder doesn't it? His mouth is truly legend. He talks tough, acts tough, but inside well…you know. Raph is lots of fun to write at any rate. A gratitude for your insight.