Disclaimer and Summary: See Chapter 1

A/N: this chapter rated R for some cursing

Thanks to freakin-person (again-YAY) for reviewing, and also to xxxsaphiretearxxx for reviewing.

In response to barfhead's review, this isn't supposed to be making fun of mary sues. This isn't really a parody (as we've said before) at least not of Harry Potter; if anything it's a parody of ourselves. In the A/N we explain that there are 5 of us writing this, and we use the story to make fun of each other and the situations we manage to get ourselves into. How the characters are presented is how we really are, and how we see ourselves, and I don't really see any elements of Mary Sue-ness in us, even though we are a group of giggly girls. We have our quirks and we have our flaws, and that should be evident in this story. Don't be offended by this, I just hope this clarifies some stuff. Thanks for reviewing.

Chapter 10:

"Christmas time is here!" Lindsay sang out, off tune and quite loudly in the middle of the corridor, causing several first years to glance around and give her funny looks. Well, what did they expect? It was quite chilly in the corridor and Lindsay had been here a while, waiting for a boy who did not seem to want to show himself.

Before she got a chance to think about how much she would love to be enjoying a good pranking, she was smacked upside the head by her best friend, mid-song.

"I'm sorry I got bored," Lindsay said rubbing her head, "not that James hunting isn't utterly fascinating to me."

"Where would he be?" Alyssa asked, glancing over the heads of some passing first years.

"Maybe he was captured by the crazy sadistic pumpkins," Lindsay suggested as she glared at a pumpkin down the hall, which grinned a little more menacingly in response.

"Do you think he's in the library?" asked Alyssa ignoring her friends' antics.

"COME ON!" Lindsay groaned, throwing up her hands and flopping onto her back quite dramatically, "This is James. I'd be surprised if he's EVER been in the library, and if he has, it was only to deface school property."

"Do you have a better idea then?" Alyssa asked.

Lindsay immediately sat up and became serious, "Actually yes."

"What's that?"

"Well, you want to find James, and James is not here, or there, or anywhere…." Alyssa rolled her eyes, "so why don't you look for Sirius."

"And where would Sirius be?"

"Well... isn't it feeding time?"

Down in the depths of the Hogwarts kitchens, the house elves were currently staring at an act of pure astonishment taking place in front of them.

Lindsay and Alyssa walked into Corinne and Sirius apparently engaged in some sort of eating contest.

Next to each was a pile of used plates. Most of the plates were bigger than either contestant's heads. Both were currently shoving a sandwich the size of a small cauldron down their throats. Corinne, however, was winning by a large margin.

She swallowed her last chunk of sandwich and slammed her fist down on the table, "HA!" she yelled, and sprayed Sirius with sandwich crumbs.

"NO!" he screamed around several bites still lingering in his mouth, "DU CAD WID! GI ADWAGS WID!"

"Swallow Sirius," Remus said, pushing a glass of cider at his friend.

Sirius gulped it down, and then yelled, "I AM AN EATING MACHINE! DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I"VE BEEN CALLED BOTTOMLESS? DO YOU? DO YOU? YOU SKINNY LITTLE BITCH!"

Corinne just turned to the nearest house elf and asked, "Do you have any ice cream?" the house elf nodded and ran off as Corinne yelled after it, "with chocolate sauce, but not fudge, sauce, and some strawberries, but make sure their fresh, an- oh I'll just come help you," and she hurried off with her stomach rumbling.

James and Remus finally noticed Alyssa and Lindsay while Sirius finished his sandwich slowly.

"You just missed an hour of competitive pigging out," said James.

"Aw, damn shame," Alyssa mumbled as she sat down.

Lindsay sat next to Remus and watched as Alyssa looked at James, and then looked away. Then James looked at Alyssa, and then almost instantaneously became fascinated by his goblet.

"So this Halloween ball," Lindsay said, "James who are you going with?"

James mumbled something incomprehensible.

"Sorry, I missed that."

"I haven't asked anyone yet."

Lindsay saw Alyssa smile just a little.

"Who are you going to ask?"

"Probably Jill," James answered, checking Alyssa's reaction, "Cause, you know, over the summer my old relationship fell apart, and Jill seems really nice and will make certain people really jealous."

"Fucker," Alyssa muttered under her breath, "why do they always run to her, stupid bitch- I could take her."

"Wait!" Corinne shouted finally returning with her sundae, "Lys, you don't have a date, and James, I'm sorry, but your not taking Jill because... because... that would upset the Marauder balance! Don't we have a rule against that or something? If we don't, we should. And just as an afterthought, has our ice cream always been this creamy, because I don't think it's always been so-"

"You don't have a date?" James interrupted what could be an hour long rant on the creaminess of ice cream.

"Um, no?" Alyssa answered, "but people have asked... just none of them are worthy of enjoying my comical wit and hilarity. Plus, I wouldn't want to upset the marauder balance... according to Corinne."

"You want to... go together?" he asked, blushing quite brightly, "because you know, your perfect.. I'm perfect... let's be perfect together!" (A/N: WICKED rules!)

Alyssa pretended to think about it, "Well I guess we could, since no one in this school lives up to our expectations, except each other."

"Please tune in next time for the exciting conclusion of 'WHEN EGO"S CLASH!'" Sirius said in an announcer voice.

"Wait, what happened to Jill?" asked Remus, confundled by all the witty banter.

"Oh, she was just a clever ploy to make Alyssa pissed, which worked amazingly well." Sirius explained.

"Ok, Pads, who are you going with?" James asked.

"I have many dates lined up as no woman has the human capability of resisting my hot body," this said, he leaned back and tried desperately to look handsome.

"Going alone then? Remus asked.

Sirius nodded, "Of course, I feel the divine art that it going solo has been tragically lost. This way I am free to go on my merry way however I please."

"Does that include getting drunk and crying like a girl about how no one loves you?" Lindsay piped in, "Like last year?"

"The group laughed, and Sirius with a very smug expression on his face asked, "Alright, Lindsay, who is taking you to the blessed event?"

"None of your business," Lindsay said throwing a pretzel at him, but at the same time blushing.

"Just as I thought," Sirius said, "it's happening all over again."

"What is?" asked Corinne.

"The blonde has no date, Remus has no date, they will both mope around, smiling when everyone talks about how happy they are with their dates, because it's what they do, and then finally the day before the dance Remus will ask her, and all will be right," he smirked, "Just like last year, and the year before that. So let's get this over with now so we don't have to deal will all the unhappiness."

He turned to Alyssa, "Remus wants to take Lindsay to the ball."

"Lindsay would love to go!" Alyssa squealed, "She's excited and she's sure she'll have a lovely time!"

"They'll meet outside the Great Hall?"

"Perfect."

"Alright," Remus said, "you've made your point, we'll go together and save you all the grief," then he turned away and smiled.

"Ok," James grabbed an éclair, "who will be accompanying you, our fair red-head?"

Corinne choked a little on her sundae, had a coughing fit, and then managed to say, "Lucius of course."

Sirius, James, and Remus exchanged looks, "He hasn't done anything... you know... Slytherin- like right?

"Nope," Corinne answered getting dreamy eyed, "he's been great."

While Sirius proceeded to make rather grotesque puking noises under the table, James asked, "Are you sure? Because if not, you don't have to worry, we could take him."

"Well actually James," Remus piped in, "you could take him. I could pretend to know nothing about the whole thing, or quote useless research at him."

The whole group laughed, and while they were laughing they heard a familiar voice out in the hall.

"Pam?" Corinne asked, dropping the remains of a pastry on the table.

Slowly the group inched its way over to the portrait hole for the kitchens. After much bumping, twisting, and pulling (MY HAIR JAMES!) they were able to arrange themselves in a way that they could all see out of the tiny crack.

"Can you please tell me what house you're in? What year? Your favorite potato chip? How many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie pop? What you would do for a Klondike bar? Something???" Pam was saying to the red-haired boy beside her.

He shook his head, "No, I'm sorry. You can't know much about me just yet. Maybe... one day when the time is right."

"What am I supposed to tell my friends? They probably think I'm going out with some freak! How can I explain this to them?"

"Your friends are smart, they'll know when not to pry, for now just leave it be," he took one of her hands.

"Alright," she conceded, she ran on hand over the hilt of her sword, a nervous habit, "So I'll be seeing you?"

"No wait," he stopped her from walking away, "I want to ask you to the Halloween Ball."

"If you do I'll say yes." she said.

They shared a moment of silence, and then both smiled. It was all Lindsay, Corinne, and Alyssa could do not to sigh in awe as Pam and Arsenio walked away, sword gently clanking together.

"AH!" said Sirius clutching his heart, "ROMANCE!"