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35 Millimeters III: Fisheye Lens
By Lady Aishiteru
Chapter One: Good Intentions
"That was a nice show you put on there, Jadeite," I said sardonically, tucking a strand of long, black hair behind my ear. My mind was going a mile a minute and my emotions wavered from aroused to extremely pissed off. I know that I said we had to act like a couple, but did he have to go and fawn over me in front of Grandpa like that?
Jadeite smiled that devious grin of his that always hinted at something more. "I do what I can, Rei"
I smiled, faking candor. Under the circumstances, I thought it was best to humor him. "I'm serious. You deserve an Oscar for that one."
"I am but your humble protégé, O Great Queen of Scams," Jadeite replied, faking an English accent, pretty horribly, I might add. He was right; I had started it.
"You are only too kind," I mumbled dryly.
"May I see you to your door?" Jadeite asked, putting the car into park on the curbside closest to my apartment.
"You've seen my door plenty of times," I snapped without thinking. Feeling repentant, I held out my arm, and Jadeite took it; then for a reason I couldn't explain, my stiff muscles instantly relaxed. My heart rate didn't, however; at this point, I didn't know what to expect.
Finally, we stopped at the door. "Well, this is it, Jadeite. End of the line." Seeking to narrow the odds, I slipped my arm from his and turned my key in the lock. It only got three quarters of the way before I felt a hand running through my hair, stopping me in my tracks.
"And where do you think you're going, young lady?" Jadeite murmured into my ear. He posed the question in an almost teasing manner, but there was a serious undercurrent that stated that he meant business. The thought of that sent an involuntary shiver down my spine. Was it cold outside? I hadn't noticed.
"Inside, to bed" I responded, and I added, lest there be any doubts, "Alone."
"Sleeping alone, eh? Well, this will give you something to dream about." Without any further warning, he teased my lower lip with his own, gently pulling them open.
"Jadeite, what do you think you're doing?" I demanded.
"Just this," he responded. He turned me around like a swing dancer would twirl his partner so I was facing him. He placed a butterfly kiss on each corner of my lip as if testing me, teasing me. I wanted to duck away and then run off screaming into the night like some kind of crazed banshee, but my legs seemed have a will of their own to remain firmly planted on the ground, not moving an inch. "Rei Hino, how do you get yourself into these things?" I wondered, and that was my last coherent thought until his lips formed a tight, elastic seal over my own.
I glanced at my menu nervously. I still couldn't believe that I was doing this. "Whose harebrained idea was this, exactly?" I mumbled to myself. "Mina's, of course." Well, that wasn't technically true, if the truth had to be told. This was all my idea, but I was under a lot of pressure when I came up with this, you see. My grandpa was dying, and like the dutiful granddaughter that I am, I was fulfilling his dying wish.
I can still remember the day when it all began. Just as I had pulled my car into the Cherry Hill Shrine, I saw an ambulance block my parking space in the driveway, the blaring sirens violating the peacefulness of our home. I parked without thinking, and then I made a mad dash out of the car. My eyes confirmed my worst fears, and there was Grandpa, lying there stiffly in a stretcher. "What happened?" I cried.
"Are you his granddaughter?" a paramedic asked me. I nodded numbly and he continued, "We received a call that this man had collapsed suddenly in the kitchen."
"Who called?" I asked.
"Someone named Yuiichirou; he claims to work here. We're not sure what made your grandfather collapse, so we're running to the hospital for some tests."
"Will he be okay?" I asked, biting my lip to keep from crying.
"We don't know," said the paramedic. "The ambulance is about ready to go. Would you like to come with us?" I nodded again, and the paramedic led me to the front seat of the ambulance.
The next few hours were a blur. I remember being led to the lobby of the emergency room, then to a small room that was sectioned off somewhere in the hospital. Someone said it was Grandpa's room in the emergency ward, but I was too numb to comprehend any of it.
I just sat there, trying to take it all in. This couldn't be happening to me. "It's all a very bad dream, and I should wake up any second now," I thought. It couldn't be real. How could the last connection to my family just slip away so easily?
My dad left my mother to pursue a career in politics just before she died of a disease I couldn't recognize. I remember that she looked so weak and pale, like a broken doll lying in a heap of parts. I think Father said that Mother was holding him back, and he said it in such a contemptuous way that no man should use when speaking of his wife. I think he blamed Mother for falling ill, like it was so incredibly convenient of her to get sick right before the start of campaign season. I think he hated Mother for being sick, and I think he didn't feel anything for me at all.
My father practically dumped me on my Grandpa's doorstep as if I was dead weight, as if I was trash. Oh, he still checks on me once a year to make sure I'm alive. He sends me casablancas, which are white lilies, for my birthday. He can't even be bothered to take me out to dinner once a year; his assistant does that. It's as if he can't even stand the sight of me. I loathe him so much that he makes me sick.
My grandpa is the only one who has really been a father to me, so sitting there next to that hospital bed, it felt like I was losing two people instead of one. He's always been there for me, and I wanted to be there for him now. It was the least that I could do.
"R-Rei?" I heard a small voice ask.
"Grandpa! You're awake?" I cried joyfully.
"Looks that way," he said, a wobbly grin gracing his cheeks. It was just like Grandpa to make jokes at a time like that.
"You old fool, you had me scared to death," I said. He grinned up at me in a way that was half joyful, half apologetic. "So, what's the prognosis?"
"Not so good, Rei. They say it's cancer."
All of the color drained from my cheeks right then. "Has it…spread to any of your organs?"
Grandpa nodded feebly, as if scared of hurting me. "They say it's spread to my liver."
I gasped. "Does that mean you're going to…die?"
"Probably," he said, and he fell silent for a long time, which wasn't like him at all. "I haven't got very long," he said. "The doctors say that I've got five months at best."
I nodded, trying to take it all in. "Is there anything I can do?"
He nodded. "I've had many long, happy years. Raising you has been the joy of my life. All I want is to see you happy, Rei."
I nodded. "I am happy, Grandpa."
He shook his head. "Before I die, it would put my heart at rest if you…would settle down with the right man."
Normally, I'd do what I did whenever Grandpa had brought the subject up in the past. I'd ask him what did I need marriage for? I'd argue that I don't need any prospects, that I've a great circle of family and friends. But looking into his eyes, I could see that Grandpa really meant what he said. "Okay, Grandpa, I'll try."
"That's a good girl," he said. His eyelids drooped down, and he slept the sleep of the contented.
I was hardly content, however. I didn't want anything to do with men, especially not marriage. Dealings with my father haven't made the best impression on my about the opposite gender, and I certainly didn't want to be tied down to any man. What if they became like Father? I didn't want to die alone on a rumpled bed, crying myself to sleep at night like Mother did when she thought I was asleep.
Then I realized that I didn't promise to get married; I promised to try. Maybe I could get away with pretending to try. Maybe I could fix it so it looked like I was married, or at least on that track. If Grandpa doesn't know the difference, what harm could it be? He'd die happy and I'd escape with my soul intact.
The next problem I had was who would I pick to be my pretend husband-to-be? He'd have to be a clever man, someone who was my intellectual equal, and especially a good actor. I'd have to spend a lot of time with this person to make it look real; Grandpa knew just about everyone in Tokyo, or it seemed that way. I frowned to myself; who on Earth would I be able to use to pull this one off?
I remembered this one guy that I had seen at an electronics store once. There was something about him that interested me, a spark of something in his eyes that resembled a challenge.
We had walked into the store with the Usagi, Makoto, Minako and Mamoru on a rainy Friday night that smelled of thunder. It was about a year ago, back when I was still seeking my master's in psychology and Ami was still finishing med school. We were about ready to go shopping, and we popped into Ami's dorm room to invite her to go with us.
"Hey Ames, we were just thinking about shopping for DVD players. Do you want to come with?" asked Minako, a hopeful gleam in her eye.
"No, I'm good. I still have to study for the test next Monday," she said, tucking a pencil behind her ear.
"Are you sure? Mamoru says they've got the latest models out," Minako prompted, trying to set the proverbial carrot on a stick.
"Even though we don't really need one," prompted Usagi.
"Minako, it's not like Ami's some kind of hermit crab stuck inside her shell. Believe it or not, some people are energized by peace, quiet, and solitude. There's nothing wrong with that," I pointed out. I hate it when Minako does that.
"Gee, Freud, how have I gotten along without your wisdom?" asked Minako sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
"It's okay, guys. I'll see you at the Soda Shoppe on Monday. Have fun," she said, and with that we were dismissed.
"Seriously, I think it's high time I set Ami up on a date," said Minako as we all piled into Usagi and Mamoru's giant SUV.
"Come on, Minako, don't play matchmaker with Ami. She wouldn't like it," said Makoto, a frown creasing her freckled face.
"Yeah, it's not like she's an old spinster or anything," I added.
"Quiet, or you'll be next," Makoto whispered, elbowing me and winking. I laughed with her, knowing that her own love life was subject to Minako's meddling. Minako's been convinced that she's secretly in love with Nephrite, who had been her best friend since childhood. She was right about Usagi and Mamoru, which tipped the scoreboard slightly more towards her favor. That hardly made her the goddess of love; there was only one point on Minako's side of the game, which made it Minako One, Everyone Else One Million.
"Mamo-chan," said Usagi when we got into the store, "we don't need a DVD player. We already have one," she said, gently teasing her husband.
"I know, love, but this one's cutting edge stuff," he said; arm in arm with his wife. "The sound quality's absolutely amazing, or that's what I hear, anyways."
"Right," I joked, "You know you just want another one of your gadgets. Like I always say, the only difference between a grown man and a boy is how much money they spend on their toys." Finishing my sentence, I then glared at Usagi, who had been lip-synching with me the whole time. I hate it when she does that.
"Come on, Rei, that's not fair! Don't go using your psych stuff on me," said Mamoru, feigning hurt.
"Yeah, not everyone has a bachelor's in psychology," Minako pointed out, probably still mad about my rescuing Ami from her matchmaking magic.
"That wasn't psychology," I retorted. "Just an observation. Guys are all alike-"
"Are we now?" said a voice from behind us. Who was that dissenting voice? I whirled around to face the stranger who dared to get into the middle of one of my Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus dissertations. He stood at just over six feet in length, with blond hair and a triangular build, but what I noticed the most were his steely blue eyes that said he was up to my challenge without saying a word. His body language was confident and ready to respond to my attack on his gender. His arms were crossed, his shoulders were squared towards mine, and his long legs were together, feet facing forwards.
I looked up at my opponent for what must have only been a moment, but seemed like forever. "Yes," I replied, suddenly unsure of myself. "Yes, you are."
"Ah, hello, Jadeite. I didn't expect to see you here," said Mamoru. "What brings you here at this godawful hour?"
"You should know, Chiba. You never let me leave my desk!" He said it with a straight face, but his ever-expressive eyes told a different story.
"Ouch," said Mamoru, grinning. "Anyways, have you found anything good?"
I didn't pay attention to the conversation. I didn't really care what they were saying anyways; it was all a bunch of shoptalk and technological jargon that I couldn't understand even if I wanted to. What I was thinking about was Jadeite, who kept an eye on me the whole time, as if he was looking for something. A slow smile worked its way into his cheeks as if he found it, and that didn't settle in me.
The thing that bothered me even then as I sat next to Grandpa's hospital bed was that I still didn't have a witty retort. Here was someone who had a spark of intelligence about him. He may not be husband material, but at least he would be an agile debate partner. Resolved on this plan of action, I patted Grandpa's blanket and walked out of the room, determined to set the wheels into motion.
A very vocal clearing of the throat brought me back to the dinner table at the Chez Pierre, where I nervously sipped my water and held the menu up to my face.
I lowered my menu slightly and gazed at my dinner guest. He raised an eyebrow, as if to ask me as if I was forgetting something, namely him. I smiled politely and put down my menu. "So what are you getting, Jadeite?"
"Chicken Marsalla, special of the house," he replied, and I frowned a bit. It looked like he really didn't want to be there, and I didn't blame him. Under different circumstances, I would have felt the same way, but I needed him or my plan wouldn't work.
Jadeite didn't have much of a choice, however. I had won him in a charity bachelor auction sponsored by Chiba Inc, which was no mean feat, considering that every woman in the auditorium wanted to take him home with her. I put up a rather large sum; so technically, he was my slave, well, for the night, anyways.
"Ah, I see." I said, fidgeting with the napkin. Clearing my throat, I prepared to lay my cards out on the table. "I'm sensing you want to know why I bid on you at the auction." He nodded, his gaze steady and serious. "My grandpa's on his deathbed, and he wants me to get married."
He nodded. "I don't see how that's my problem," he said, sipping his water. "You've only got me for the night."
"Well, I have this thing, you see, I hate men," I said, and he didn't look shocked at all. "I couldn't get anyone to do this for me under normal circumstances. What I need from you is for you to pretend to be my fiancée."
Jadeite spit out his drink, spewing bits of lemony water everywhere. "Why would I want to do that?"
"Because if you don't, you'll break an old man's heart," I said, sniffling a bit for effect. "I know you think I'm some kind of shrew, and you're entitled to that. If you want, I'll even pay you for the ring. We only have to pretend to be engaged for a few months. The cancer's spreading, so my grandpa doesn't have long. After the funeral, you're free to go, no questions asked."
I paused, waiting for Jadeite to laugh me out of the restaurant. Instead, his expression softened a bit. "You're really serious, aren't you?" I nodded, looking down at the table. "Ah, what the heck. I'll do it."
"You mean it?" I asked, my eyes shining with desperation. "Really?"
"Sure."