Candy, Gum and Other Products
By Ms. Kinnikufan
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or any of the registered products.
Slade, aka Deathstroke the Terminator, found himself in a gas station.
How he despised gas stations! The floors were sticky, they were filled with whiny children begging for candy, arguing couples, and foul, sarcastic, know-it-all clerks.
Slade prayed for the advance of solar power to come quickly and to come soon.
Trying to avoid eye contact with everyone else in the gas station, Slade found himself staring at the candy shelves.
Gum: peppermint, berry fresh, cinnamon, bubble gum, the unholy artificial grape, cherry, double mint, spearmint...wintergreen.
"I suppose it was just a matter of time."
Okay, stare at the lifesavers now, Slade.
Lifesavers: cherry, butter rum (Slade could use a whole bottle of rum), butterscotch (which is just the same as butter rum), tropical fruit (taste like tropical Kool-Aid mix), wild berry (all of the berry flavors taste like grape), peppermint, spearmint, mixed mint, vanilla mint (tastes like sugary toothpaste)...wintergreen.
"I suppose it was only a matter of time."
Altoids: sour tangerine, sour apple, sour citrus, peppermint, spearmint...wintergreen.
"I suppose it was only a matter of time."
Okay, maybe you'll have better luck with the personal hygiene shelf.
Mouthwash: original, citrus, bubble gum (what the hell? doesn't bubble gum rot one's teeth?), cherry(taste not unlike cough syrup)...wintergreen.
"I suppose it was only a matter of time."
Toothpaste: orange zest (what the hell?), blue sparkle, lemon herbal mint, peppermint, strawberry herbal, vanilla mint (toothpaste too?) peppermint...wintergreen.
"I suppose it was only a matter of time."
It was the weirdest robbery in the history of the Pump 'N Leave: a screaming one eyed man loading his car up with wintergreen flavored products and driving away. Several children were traumatized.
Rose found her father had returned home. He pilling boxes of gum? candy? toothpaste? and pouring it liberally with lighter fluid.
"Give me a match, Rose!"
Soon, Rose and Slade stood before a minty smelling blaze.
"Ironically enough, Wintergreen really hated wintergreen flavored things. He also hated when people made fun of his last name, like when they called Mr. Double mint, or Captain Minty-Fresh. He never complained though. Wintergreen, this minty bonfire is for you!" Slade saluted the sky.
"Rose, my daughter,we'll get our revenge. We'll get our revenge." Slade promised as one the Altoid containers popped.