Wllow concentrated on her breathing, the unsteady in and out of it as Buffy stood above breathing in ragged tormented gasps. She was trying to concentrate on the words, but she was so tired. Exhausted. But she hadn't really slept in months. And it felt like it was all catching up with her. Now.
It was the spell, she knew that. It wasn't physicaltechnically. Although she felt herself drifting at the edge of consciousness. Barely hanging on as Buffy's tone oscillated between anger and desperate grief. Her own muted emotions responded with defensiveness and then despair.
"You can't" Back to grief. And it was breaking Willow. The depth and pull of it. Taking even more of her precious energy. "Wil, I need you. Cordy saidthere's an apocalypse and Dawn's in it and I need you"
"No you don't." She said with a sad smile. "There's the coven and Giles and even Anya if you need a big gun in the magic department."
Deep lines formed between the Slayer's eyebrows as she studied the redhead with obvious confusion. "Nothat's not what I meant," she ran a hand through her hair in her trademark gesture of agitated frustration. "I meanI need my best friend."
"Since when?" she asked quietly. Evenly. "'Cause it looks to me like you've been fine all by yourself." She expected a defensive response, but Buffy was silent, her mouth open in shock.
"Wil, I know I've been kinda distantyou know in the sense of" she paused, her brows knitting together in frustration. "In the sense of not really being a friend, but I'm trying. I want this back," she motioned to the space between them then let her arm drop to her side.
Willow looked up at the Slayer taking in her bleach blonde hair and the embroidered jeans of freshman year. This girl had been her best friend and her family. Had been everything to her and she had loved her with a fierceness that still took her breath away. But that Buffy had disappeared. Slowly. Or maybe in punctuated evolutionary steps of Glory and Joyce's death. And she realized that the Willow her old friend was looking at was a different girl too. The sidekick and supportive friend she had tried so hard to regain in the future. That girl who eluded her still.
"Buffy, I'm not this girl anymore," she brought a fist to her chest with great effort and held the blonde's gaze. "andI don't think I have been for a long time. Even before"
"What does that mean Willow. I mean I don't even know what you're talking about because I'm not this girl either..." Buffy looked crazed, her eyes wide as she looked around the room gesticulating wildly. "And do you think I want to leave Mom and go back there to thatthat hell place where she isn't. I mean, even if Dawn is there"
Joyce. She had thought about that at some point with some barely-connected part of her brain, but it had gotten lost in the overwhelming fact of Tara. "Oh god Buffy.I'm sorryI didn't"
But her old friend waved her off, tears forming in her eyes. "S'okayI mean, it's not okay, butthere's nothing I can do." She wiped at her nose with a shirt sleeve.
"Unless that was your second chance," Willow mumbled, trying to be hopeful for her best friend but failing miserably. Buffy's eyes narrowed in concentration before growing wide.
"Oh, you mean I could make that my second chance.Mom." She grew thoughtful. "But I can't change anythingunless I got her a different doctor or somethingand even then"
"No Buffyyour second chance," she tried to stop the Slayer's rambling. "You made your choice when you cast the spellwhatever you were thinking thenI think" she trailed off hoping that was enough. Because there wasn't much left of her to speak with. Just an enormous empty space that seemed to be growing with every breath and second.
"Oh." There was a long silence as the Buffy glanced around the room, her eyes holding for more than a few breaths on the globe before returning to green. "So, my second chance is the problem." Willow was so stunned by the Slayer's astute observation that she just stared into red-rimmed hazel eyes. "That's what starts it the apocalypse Cordelia saw?"
"Maybe. We don't knowit could be anything," the redhead began, closing her eyes to stop the dizzying spin of the room. "It could be me." She finally managed through clenched teeth.
"Wil, please" the blonde dropped to her knees in front of her, taking up her limp hands in her own.
"Buffy don'tplease." She couldn't look at her friend. Couldn't see those eyes that lead in only one direction.
Now the Slayer was angry, her jaw clenched in righteous rage the redhead knew so well.
"So that's it," she demanded, her voice taut with a dangerous mix of anger and grief. "You'd rather just die here and leave us than–" the slayer stopped abruptly and she knew she should say something to fill the silence. To make her best friend understand.
But speech was becoming more and more difficult for Willow. Not just the physical act of mouths moving, but the psychological motions that propelled thoughts into words were slowing. She couldn't seem to form a response, couldn't gain access to that part of her brain anymore. Focusing again on the hazel eyes of her friend, she was surprised to find the Slayer studying her. And something like horrified recognition in the brown and green of them.
There were a few moments of silence that Willow couldn't find the energy to break as they remained locked together. A single tear rolled down the Slayer's cheek and into the silent moment between them and the redhead realized she would have been surprised if she had had the energy. Then the sound of a familiar voice, musical and warm.
"Willow's not going to die." It was a terrible relief to hear those words. Like a wish she didn't know she had. A vengeance wish with all of its chaotic potential.
"Buffy, if there's anyth-th-thing you need tot-t-take care of, you should go do it now," Tara continued without taking her eyes from Willow's. There was a strong set to the blonde witch's shoulders. She seemed to stand straighter. Taller. Much taller than Buffy. And despite the stutter her expression was placid. Resolute. Willow began feverishly working on her arguments as Buffy and Tara hugged again. This time there was no awkwardness. They held each other like old friends. And with a quiet thank you' for Tara, the Slayer was gone leaving the two of them alone in the room where everything had started. Alone with each other and the map of Willow's unmaking.
Dawn was still numb. Still reeling from Xander's accusations and Faith's admissions. If Xander was right, Faith really was the back-stabbing bitch they had always told her she was. The Slayer was evil. She was conniving and manipulative and there was no room for the cool girl with the deep sad smile. No room for the memories of pain and fear the two now shared. For years now the world had been shrinking. People kept leaving and dying and the ones that remained pulled farther and farther into themselves. In this new world there would be no room for someone as big as Faith.
Because what would Buffy do? If she was here. If she could talk to me.
That was easy. Her sister always did the same thing when it came to the dark Slayer. No matter what. And the small-world Buffy would never have trusted Willow either. Because there was only one Willow anymore and she had dark eyes and darker magic. All the other Willows lived somewhere else. In the world of the past where they could be trusted to stay what they were. Anya was right, her sister would have insisted that they seal them both away with the Heart to save the world. Because she didn't trust anyone. Not her friends or fellow Slayer. Not even Dawn.
"Don't even think this is over Faith," Xander growled behind her as she followed the Slayer down the stairs focusing on the powerful set of her shoulders hunched under the straps of a borrowed' black tank.
"It's never over," she heard the Slayer mutter defiantly, but her shoulders slumped even further. And Dawn felt an echo of a memory of a similar exchange. Angry, accusing Xander and Willow. Faith outnumbered and outside again.
"Because as soon as Buffy gets back from" he began only to be cut off by Anya.
"If she gets back at all," Anya crossed her arms when all eyes turned to her. "What? Why are you all looking at me like that? I'm just trying to be the voice of reason here. There is a high probability that Willow and Buffy won't get back in time and that means Vra'al will get his Heart anyway," she gestured at the three of them with disdain. "And all of you will be dead for no reason. I mean, because look at us we're not exactly an army here."
"Anya"
"And that's only if Willow's little spell doesn't tear a hole in reality before"
"Anya!" Xander faced her angrily. "This isn't helping."
"Oh! But you pissing off the only Chosen One we have left is such an important contribution"
"But this is all her fault," he pointed at Faith who rolled her eyes. "If she hadn't"
"And if Buffy hadn'tand if Willow hadn'tand if you hadn'tleft me at the altar" Anya replied in mocking tones before taking a deep breath to regain her composure. "You people are so into the blame! Like anything is ever that simple except of course, you leaving me at the alter because, hello. Promise. Broken. But even that doesn't matter cause we're all going to die a very painful death anyway" She threw up her hands and turned to the weapons chest.
"The demon has a point," Spike added with a wry grin.
"Well, that's just great!" Xander's voice and body language was becoming more and more agitated, almost hysterical. "I for one believe that Buffy's going to make it"
"I just think we should all take one more look at this situation and think about why we're doing this." She stared at Xander pointedly and then Spike. "Because hello, this is not what Buffy and Willow would want. Am I the only one who sees this? I mean, is this a human problem?"
There was a long silence as the vengeance demon's words seemed to echo through the room. then a familiar gunshot's reverberations rang out in the cramped hallway. Faith, Dawn noticed was now watching the yard, shifting her balance slightly from foot to foot. From heel to toe. The bandage over the deep wound on her arm was soaked through with blood. She knew from experience that Slayers weren't bleeders, which meant that the wound was worse than it looked. Faith seemed to notice her attention and bent to attach a dagger over the bandage with thick silver tape.
"How long do we have," Faith asked without turning her attention away from her task. "'Til the end?"
"That's like asking me how long it when you're going to die. It could be in fifty years it"
"Best guess," Faith interjected impatiently.
The vengeance demon shrugged. "An hour? Top end."
"Great, so we have to hold off an army of demons for an hour and hope that" Xander was nearly shouting.
"See, this is exactly what I've been trying to tell you," Anya chimed in.
"Okay, here's the deal," Faith began, tossing a broadsword hilt-first to the vampire on the porch. She turned to Dawn and handed her the dagger at her belt without blinking. The one Buffy had used. The one with Faith's blood still on it. "Plan's still the same, but if Vra'al gets to the house you two run like hell. Okay?" she held Dawn's arm in a firm grip. "Let him have his fucking Heart."
"Wait a minute, so if he makes it to the house you're just gonna let him" Xander began again stepping angrily toward the Slayer.
"No Einstein, if Big Demon gets to the house that means we're all dead," Spike interjected coolly from the porch.
"But he's not getting to the house," the Slayer continued with a smile that was much more like the old Faith. The wisecracking cool girl who sneaked Dawn out of the house to go on Patrol. Who trusted Dawn with secret terrible things. "Cause B and Red are gonna do their thing like they always do." She picked up a second, lighter sword, twirling it in her grip as her gaze turned from Dawn to the yard. "And then after we have a mega-demon smackdown," she winked and flipped the sword. "B can kick my ass and everybody'll be happy."
"Slayer! I have come for that which is mine," Vra'al's booming voice shook the house and Dawn jumped. How did he do that? Appear from nowhere? The portal.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be with you in a sec big guy," Faith shouted dismissively and turned to the group with a confident grin. "Good to go?" Everyone, even Xander returned her confidence with a nod and without a word they were moving toward their spaces, making the last preparations.
"Little Bit," Spike stood in the doorway looking at the floor between them. "Look, I know I can never make things right" he began and then trailed off with a frown. "Bloody hell, justlight em up Summers," he said with a shrug and tossed his Zippo. She wanted to say something, but he was gone. And that was probably a good thing because what was she going to say?
She looked for Xander and Anya, but they were gone. Probably off somewhere saying their goodbyes. Or not saying anything at all.
"Y'okay?" Faith asked softly, her brow furrowing in concern. Dawn nodded, but couldn't seem to speak through the panic that was strangling her. Her heart was racing and she was sure she was going to throw up again. "Breathe." The Slayer was now taking deep breaths and Dawn felt her own body following automatically. "You know the drill right?" Another nod as she began to run through the mental checklist. It helped, somehow, to have that line of things that needed to be done. That she had to check off and complete. All of these things that lead to Buffy and Willow and everything back to normal. "I'm gonna buy as much time as I can, but when I give the signal"
"I start the show," Dawn managed at the Slayer's prompting. Faith smiled and then looked around nervously.
"Okay, so" the Slayer began, but was cut off as Dawn threw herself into her arms.
"I knowI mean I don't care you knowwhy," she couldn't seem to get the words out and Faith was now rigid with fear in her arms. Slayers were terrified of the strangest things. "I'm just glad you're here Faith." And now she was crying which just made her angry. All she had ever wanted was to be strong. For all of them.
"Slayer there is no need for bloodshed. Simply hand over my Heart and the Key."
Faith patted her back clumsily and pulled away. "Everything's gonna be five by five D," she whispered. "Really." But her eyes were wet with tears as she turned toward the porch. "See, I totally agree with you on the no bloodshed thing," Faith spoke loudly to the demon and Dawn smiled as the Slayer's gait was transformed in three strides to her cocky trademark swagger. "It's just the whole you making demands part that's so not gonna play."
Tucking the knife into her belt, Dawn moved quickly to the computer in the dining room and began the painstaking task of double-checking everything. Again. She could feel the hard leather and metal digging into her side, but this was the way the Slayer had worn it so she was determined to keep it next to her skin. Where it reminded her constantly of its location so she could find it if she needed it. Faith was barely visible through the dining room window and she could just make out her left arm and shoulder as the Slayer baited the enormous demon.
"So, how's the eye Big Guy? I mean, ouch. That's gotta hurt." Dawn didn't hear the response, just a low rumble that must have been a demon growl. Vra'al was nearly invisible in the darkness of the front yard. Xander had nailed pieces of wood to the downstairs windows and left a horizontal strip for visibility. She hadn't asked where the wood came from, but the kitchen counters were gone.
Buffy is gonna be so pissed, she thought with a smile and turned out the overhead light to see the scene better, but the glare from the computer screen obscured almost everything. As the Slayer made her way off the porch, Dawn could just see Spike's straight silhouette on her right. Anya, she knew, would be in the back yard waiting for rear attack. They looked so small against the growing crowd of demons. But Faith was still talking and that was a good thing. More talking meant less fighting and more time for Willow and Buffy.
A hand landed on her shoulder and she jumped. "Sorry Dawn, I just" Xander was frowning at the scene in the yard, but his eyes, when they met hers, softened into a crinkley smile. "Just wanted to let you know I was here," he whispered. "So you know the plan right?" But it wasn't really a question. She knew this game. It was the get-ready game. The get-your-mind-off-the-impending-doom game the Scoobies always played. "As soon as we get the sign, we secure the house and get in position for Operation Death from Above.'" He said the last words in an ominous tone and lifted a can of lighter fluid. And it was the old Xander. The one who always knew the right thing to say. She nodded and gave him a smile in return.
"Yep. Ready." She shrugged and returned her attention to Faith. He squeezed her shoulder and the weight of his hand was gone. She knew where he was going. To the door. It was his job to close it and throw the heavy medieval-looking bolt he had installed earlier. It was all part of the plan, but she hadn't understood the finality of it until that moment. That Spike and Faith and Anya would be locked out. Would be separated from the two of them and the safety of the house. But she couldn't think about that now. She needed to focus on the things she needed to do.' On the signal that would start everything.
The banter between Faith and Vra'al was inaudible. Dawn was so focused now on Faith and the signal that hadn't been given yet. Her hand hovered above the keyboard as she waited. And waited.
Then without warning it happened. Between one second and the next Faith turned her hand slightly and shrugged. And time sped up again. Dawn heard the loud slam of the door and hit the button. And in the space between now and then all hell, literally, broke loose.
Willow couldn't seem to focus anymore. The room was dim even though she could feel the heat of sunlight on her bare legs. Could hear the soft noises of Tara shuffling papers and rifling through bags and drawers.
Spell ingredients, she thought with a frown. So there wasn't even going to be a discussion. Not like there was even a chance of that at this pointTara didn't have Willow's trademark resolve face'. She had resolve self. Argument was unthinkable when faced with an absolute truth held in flesh and bone.
"Tara I'm not losing you again." But she could try. Arguing. Because it was all she had against the terror of losing this. Against that glowing sphere that was growing darker and darker.
"I won't watch you die, Willow," she began in a strong even tone that shifted to something softer, but just as determined. "Please don't m-make me."
"You don't have to watch. You can go somewhere" but she knew already that this line of reasoning wasn'twell, reasonable.
"We're c-connected and it hurts." The blonde frowned and arranged satchels of herbs in a semi-circle between them. "No m-matter where I am." And she could see it finally. The unfamiliar dark circles under blue eyes. And the desperation. She was hurting her. Again.
"You don't understand Tara"
"I d-don't understand? So you're going to make me?"
"No, that's not what I meant. I would never put you through that. And you sawthis realitythat it isn't exactly stable. It doesn't really exist. Youwe won't remember any of this."
The blonde frowned and grew pensive. "But I felt it in the d-divinationaffecting the other realitiesand you said yourself that we d-don't know. It's all tied together Willow."
She closed her eyes against the pain and incredible effort of speaking. "No, I don't knowyou're right. But I know I can'tit wasn't living without youthere."
Tara nodded slightly, almost imperceptibly and studied the floor. "I want to remember all of this Willow. I don't want to forget. Any of it."
Willow felt the tears slide down her face and cursed silently. This was taking too much energy. She wanted to hang on longer. Wanted to be with Tara for as many moments as she could steal.
"Willow," Tara began softly and took her hands. "Don't make me stop you. Please."
"Tara" she meant it to be the beginning of an argument. The start of a long explanation about her own enormous power and the blonde's well-schooled, but untapped talent. Instead it emerged as a low keening as her body collapsed forward. Tara was right. In her weakened state she was no match for anyone. Not that she would allow that to happen. A confrontation. She would never hurt Tara. Would never allow that dark part of herself near the blonde.
Strong slender fingers held her face as warm lips glided over the wet of her cheeks. The swollen heat of her eyelids and mouth. "Your friends need you Willow. The world needs you." Willow shook her head, but let herself fall father into the blonde's embrace. No one needed her, but how could she make Tara understand. "And I-I know you saidt-terrible things happenedbut," she frowned in concentration before looking deep into the redhead's eyes. "It doesn't feel r-right. The things you've told me. It's not supposed to be that wayI mean" she trailed off finally, her fingers running through red hair. "I don't feel that that's what's supposed to happen, you know?"
"But Tara, terrible things did happen. I can'tyou can'tand I deserved itall of it," the blonde stopped her with a kiss.
"Do you trust me Willow?" She nodded and allowed a small smile. There weren't enough words for how much she trusted Tara.
"With my life," she said without thinking then smiled at her slip. And somehow, without her knowledge the decision had been made. She wanted to cry with relief.
"It's going to be alright, sweetie. I'll always be with you." So Tara knew about the decision too. The choice. But it probably wasn't a choice to her. Just a fact she was trying to get Willow to accept.
"Tara, I know you probably won't remember this, butI need you know that no matter what happenseven if Ieven if I hurt youthat I love you more than anything. Okay?"
The blonde was beaming. "You know, it's soI didn't think I could ever fall in l-love with anyonebut this," she pressed her palm against Willow's bare chest. "This Willow Rosenburg." She shrugged, a lopsided smile forming on perfect lips. "Then I met you."
"Butdarkness and all?" Willow choked back a sob.
"Darkness and all," Tara confirmed with a nod and traced the redhead's lips with her fingers, her eyes dancing with mischief. "So, umSkyclad?"
Willow nodded into the soft touch, but she had no strength left to lift the fabric over her head. "A little help?"
"Vixen."
It was all the proof she needed. Better than any divination spell. That one word meant that reality could be a flexible thing and that maybe the worlds they had made weren't so separate.
Finale - Part I
As Faith's fucked up idea' screamed to life, Dawn took the stairs two at a time behind Xander to get into position in the upstairs bedrooms. The files of dolphin, bat and whale sounds she had downloaded and ripped from nature CDs had been high EQ'd for maximum sonic impact and were now at ear-splitting levels. And on top of it all was some hard techno song loop the slayer had insisted she add to the mix. It sounded like a rave in hell. Which it kind of was.
"I am so ready for my action hero moment!" Faith yelled as she approached the front line of demons with both swords drawn. Dawn quickly got into position at her bedroom window and hoisted the crossbow to her shoulder. The high frequency sonic assault was definitely having the desired effect on the demons. They seemed disoriented as the Slayer hacked her way through four of them with barely any resistance. Spike was busy dismembering a fifth on the other side of the yard. It almost seemed cruel. Until she thought about what was at stake. What they would do to them if they caught them.
Aiming the way Xander and Faith had shown her, she let a wooden bolt fly and yelled in frustrated rage as it splintered against the demon's hard armor. "Fuck."
Oh my god, I have to stop with the cursing before Buffy gets home or she's gonna kill me.
If Buffy gets home
She started to yell for Xander for advice and realized that he wouldn't hear her over the noise.
"Are you feeling me?" But she could still hear the Slayer as she slashed her way through a still-disoriented crowd of demons, her swords cutting through the air in blinding silver streaks of light. "'Cause I'm feeling youoh yeah, you too baby." The now-familiar metallic screams made her skin crawl, but at least there were no more gunshots. Or the terribly ghostly wails of Willow's grief to remind her that the redhead probably didn't want to come back here. To this house where Tara wasn't. "Say my name bitch!"
She smiled a guilty smile at the Slayer's comments. It was like some kind of slaying-induced Tourette's Syndrome.
There was a small bundle of aluminum bolts near her foot that Xander had found stashed in the basement with some old photos. Not much use for metallic bolts when you were facing vampires. She dipped one in the coffee can full of lighter fluid and pulled Spike's Zippo from her pocket. Remembering Xander's instructions she let the shaft burn until it was too hot to hold. Carefully fitting it into the bow she lined up the shot as well as she could through the flickering blue flames and pulled the trigger. There was a terrible moment when she worried that she had aimed too close to Faith, but the Slayer continued unfazed. Dawn realized that she had missed. The demon she was aiming for moved and the precious bolt was wasted. She was about to pick up another one when a flare of light caught her eye. Another demon was flailing wildly with clawed hands as liquid fire poured from its chest. There was no explosion, no pyrotechnic display, but the demon, at least was an easy target for Faith who decapitated with one stroke.
Dawn gave herself a loud congratulatory yelp that was swallowed up in the cacophony of the battle before carefully lighting up another arrow. After setting up the shot, she watched panicked as the flaming bolt was deflected into a nearby bush that promptly burst into flames. Well, at least she could see a little better now.
"You feeling me now? Huh?"
She could see Spike and Faith cutting down demons with relative ease although the Slayer's left arm was lowered slightly as if she was tired. Or the wound, maybe she was protecting it. Despite the problems it was definitely the smackdown the Slayer had predicted. Maybe they had a chance after all.
The sudden unmistakable sound of electronic feedback brought her gaze up to the trees on her right where they had tied one of the speakers. One of the Vra'al's flying giant bat things was engaged in an epic battle with the inanimate black box. And if they took out that speaker, that meant the line to the backyard speakers would be broken and Anya would be alone with god-knows how many well-organized demons.
She raised the barrel of her crossbow and aimed at the winged demon and with a silent prayer to Tara and Mom and everyone she could think of, let the bolt fly. She didn't see it hit the bat demon, but the loud scream and insane flapping as the inkblot thing struggled to the ground were confirmation enough.
Before she could congratulate herself another winged shadow replaced it. And with growing horror she saw that the other speakers were being attacked as well.
"Xander!" she screamed and knocked a wooden bolt into the shaft. No reason to waste metal bolts on these guys. They seemed pretty soft and not so flammable.
"Dawn!" She let the bolt fly as Xander stomped up behind her and allowed herself another victory squeal as it hit home.
"The speakers!" That was all she had to say. He fired two arrows before she had a chance to prepare another one. Two more shadows dropped, but there seemed to be a swarm of them. More like silent bees than birds. Or bat bees. Xander dropped three more of the winged shadows before a piercing electronic feedback scream tore through the demonic soundtrack and the right side of the yard fell silent. Dawn actually checked her ear before realizing that it was the speaker. And that meant
"Holy frikkin'okay, who turned off the music?" Anya screamed from the backyard before a loud hiss and the unmistakable drop in her voice as she got her vengeance demon on.
"Oh shit," Dawn muttered and fumbled with another arrow. There were only two speakers left and that meant the odds were definitely tilting in the other direction. A loud yelp brought her attention down to the yard where Faith dragged the shorter sword at her side from her injured arm.
"Go D!" Faith yelled with her usual bravado. Dawn could here the smile in her voice. That cocky, I'm-gonna-kick-your-ass smile that even now had the demons circling carefully. It was clear from their movements that the demons were communicating again. She thought she heard it a few times above the speakers that were still screaming that unholy soundtrack. The hiss and knock of an arrow from above and another winged demon fell from the sky.
"Flaming arrows Dawnie," Xander yelled in halting speech as he knocked two more arrows and let them fly. "Help Faith."
With a nod, she let the wooden bolt fly and heard the scream of another demon. It wasn't a mortal wound, but the bat thing was forced to the ground where it could do no more damage to the speaker. Then it was the time-consuming process of lighting up arrows. This time three at once burned with a yellow flame as Dawn marveled at Xander's skill with the crossbow. For every one she killed he took down at least four.
See Buffy, if you had just let me train with the rest of you I'd know how to fight! I wouldn't be a useless arrow-lighting betty!
The arrow had burned too long and it singed her fingertips as she placed it in the shaft and lined up the shot. Faith may have been injured, but she was definitely holding her own. Two more demons lay at her feet while the others circled and the Slayer taunted.
" Yeah, you feeling me now." That jaunty head nod that made Dawn smile. One of the demons she noticed was squaring up on Faith's left side, probably trying to take advantage of her injury. But his body was turned at an odd angle so she chose a bigger target to Faith's right. Just as she pulled the trigger, he sprang falling on Faith in a screaming flaming heap. The Slayer extricated herself quickly, cutting off the arm of another as she leapt to her feet. "See boys, you mess with me, you mess with my whole fucking crew!"
More arrows sang through the air above her as Xander continued his own incredibly accurate version of Fiery Death from Above. He was chanting something as he effortlessly picked flying shadows from the air around them. With singed fingers Dawn knocked another flaming arrow and lined up a shot, this time aiming at one of the demon's targeting Spike since Faith seemed to have everything temporarily under control.
"Come on Willow. Come on," she heard it just barely as the mp3 sequence reached the end of a loop. Guess everybody's praying tonight.
It made her feel lighter for some reason knowing that Xander was praying for Willow. Cheering her on after everything. She joined the chant and let the arrow fly. It didn't hit the demon's broad chest where she was aiming, but ended up sticking out of its right eye. Which was good enough.
"Come on Willow!" she screamed and gingerly grabbed another burning shaft. Xander she noticed, had stopped and was now regarding her with a rueful smile. Their eyes locked for a moment. Dawn shrugged and both of them began cheering with gusto. "Go Willow! Woo hoo! Come on Buffy!"
Four more shadows screamed to the earth as Xander and Dawn cheered in rhythm. "Brrr, it's cold in here. There must be some Scoobies in the atmosphere!"
Another flaming arrow found its markwell, almost. The shaft was buried deep in the thigh of a very angry demon who clawed at it with agonized screams as the flames spread over its armor. Faith dispatched him with one deep sword thrust and looked up at their impromptu cheering with a smirk.
"Come on B!" She brought her injured sword arm around surprising the demon to her left and decapitating him with ease. "You better hurry or you're gonna miss all the fun!"
Dawn knocked another arrow and began a new cheer surprised when Xander joined in. "Go Slayer, go Slayer go"
Faith seemed to find a reserve of energy somewhere turning on the circling demons with renewed fury. It was like the cemetery again. The scene was lit by the moonlight and the eerie flicker of the burning hedges as the Slayer attacked the demons with everything — head, elbows, shins and metal. Anything and everything she had went into the battle as the lizard men continued to fall. Dawn's newfound enthusiasm began to fade as she watched more demons wander in to replace their fallen brothers. Or sisters. Orwhatever. They were still coming which meant there was a portal open somewhere. She aimed at one of the newly-arrived demons hitting him squarely in the chest.
"Go Dawnie!" Xander yelled with a smile and fired another arrow. Dawn couldn't help but smile. She was definitely getting better at this. Maybe she was making a difference after all.
A piercing scream tore through the house from the backyard and every muscle in Dawn's body locked up at the inhuman, but still familiar voice.
"Anya!" Xander dropped his crossbow, his eyes wide as he picked up a double-headed axe near the door ran down the hall.
"Oh god," Dawn turned back to the window, but her hands were shaking so badly that she couldn't seem to aim. The sound of an enormous crash ripped through the house. Xander. He hadn't wasted time on the stairs, crashing through the windows in her room into the backyard to save his ex-fiancée.
Dawn took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. There were so many demons now and more seemed to be arriving every second. Another loud feedback scream and they were left with only one speaker obscured by a cloud of black shadowy figures. The speaker's output was barely enough to cover the sounds of the battle now. She could hear the Slayer's grunts and the ring of swords against hard body armor. And worse, now she could hear Willow's terrible wailing above it all.
She aimed at the swarm around the speakers and hesitated. There was no reason to waste precious ammunition on the puny speaker that remained. Better to help Faith and Spike. Through the shimmering heat of the arrow she lined up the shot and took down a demon approaching the Slayer from behind. She reached quickly for another bolt trying to emulate Xander's lightning-fast reload technique.
"Xander are you insane!" Anya's desperate and terrified scream cut through the room like a knife. " You have far too many soft parts to be down here"
The rest of the conversation was lost as the window exploded around her in a shower of glass and wood splinters. Still in shock and blinded by the dust and shrapnel from the explosion, Dawn huddled against the bed frame blinking wildly as she tried to understand what had happened. A bomb? Magic?
"Dawn!" Faith was screaming her name between the grunts of battle, but the teen couldn't see the window much less the yard. Feeling her way across the floor to the window, Dawn felt the debris and shards of glass digging and cutting into her knees and hands. And her face was on fire.
"Faith?" she croaked and then felt something like iron cut deeply into her shoulders then pressure hot and hard. She tried not to but she couldn't seem to help screaming as she was lifted by that terrible pain in her shoulders up and out of the room. And for the second time in that long night she found herself airborne, screaming her guts out, but this time she was blind and Faith couldn't rescue her now. She heard the Slayer's voice growing faint as the demon carried her farther and farther from home.
They had been lying naked together in the circle for minutes and days. Willow could feel the golden heat of Tara's skin, could hear the low indistinct murmuring of her voice. The words were indecipherable, but she knew that there were I love you's and forevers' in every soft syllable. Bare legs were entwined and Willow felt soft lips flutter over her eyelids and cheek. She wanted more contact, but knew she would never find the energy to make it happen. But the connection, there was no need for words with Tara. With a smile she imagined the blonde kissing her, on top of her, inside her and heard a low chuckle.
"I don't think that's part of the ritual." Then soft lips on her own. She wanted to argue or prove her wrong, but the world had gone all hazy and warm. Reason and words were useless in this place of raw floating sensation. Because she was almost gone, slipping in and out of consciousness as time breathed around them. So she focused on the bright standout things that she could still touch. Salty kisses and the wet slide of skin. And singing. Tara singing something light and sweet. Maybe a lullaby although it was one she had never heard her sing before.
Another warm slip and she was, for a moment, in a different room with Tara, but the same. A different time then. An awkward first kiss that wasn't the one they had shared. A new impossible memory. With a deep inhale she rolled back into consciousness. Dying. She was dying. That's what this was.
And she knew what the song was now. It was an incantation and they were slipping into that other realm of dreams and super-dimensions. Tara guiding her gently out of herself. Willow wanted to stay in the physical, but she couldn't find the place to hold on to. All the edges that made things real had become slippery and vague. As she drifted away from the physical plane she felt an overwhelming sense of relief. It was so much easier here and Tara was everywhere. Both of them home in this space where everything was energy that spoke in the languages of color and constants.
But there was one constant that would no longer be. Because Tara would be nowhere again after this. There would be a world without her where time crept along in cold hard steps. And that was wrong. Willow began reflexively to pull away in terror and in that moment she saw it. The other solution to this impossible equation. It was so beautifully simple because she was there already. She watched with growing detachment as her own essence curled away from her in a thin glowing spiral and mingled with the Heart's dark magic. It would be so easy to control it. The Heart. She could give them any future they wanted. Anything. And it was her destiny. She felt it. Somehow she was tied inextricably with this device and it's terrible spell. She and Tara. Everything in her life had led to this point. All the deaths and love and grief dragging her inexorably to this place where realities and magic were boiling into a sea of potential. This was where she belonged. This was the reason it felt so familiar. The Heart was hers.
In the way of that dimensionless space, the more she thought about the Heart's center the closer it became. And the more her connection to Tara diminished. She could feel the blonde's fear and shock flare bright and then grow faint as the swirling dark of the Heart engulfed her in its metallic cold. It was necessary she knew, to sever their connection briefly for this to work. For her to become one with her fate and keep Tara safe. Then she could be with her love forever. And it would be so easy. She was already growing stronger, more powerful. The flow of energy reversed as the dark magic flowed into her.
Through the lens of the Heart's magic she could see time opening up in every direction. Folding out around her like a three-dimensional kaleidoscope that she could step into with just a thought. She could see it all. The Willow that was and could be. The Tara that might have been. The two of them that should have equaled always. And it was all hers like vague memories that grew more distinct and tangible as she focused on the details. This was the fulfillment of all the promises the dark had whispered to her. This was the power she had glimpsed in terrifying hints and glances. And it wasn't evil. How could it be when it led her back to Tara?
As the power roared into and through her, she reached out to taste the universe in all of its potentialities. Spinning through events that had and hadn't occurred, that would and would not be she felt a glitch in what should have been the most perfect moment — their first kiss. As she focused down the déjà vu loop of that point in time made everything stand still. The Heart. She had used it before and forgotten. The memory erased by the spell's reordering of time and events. Their first kiss hadn't happened at all. She and Tara hadn't.but they had.
That's why Tara was studying Occum's Heart. She knew somehowwithout any memory she knew. My beautiful brilliant girl
It was like losing the blonde all over again. Willow stretched out with her mind to see the immensity of she and Tara that brought the glowing blur to a screaming pause. In almost every possible universe they were together in some way. But the Heart had altered things and it sat now buried inside its own spell creating another feedback loop that she hadn't seen. That didn't appear on any map because it wasn't supposed to exist.
This is not good. So not good. I could have killed us all. Who am I kidding? I still could. I mean, hello, end of the world stuff here
A familiar warmth passed through her, engulfed her briefly and was gone. Tara. The blonde had taken advantage of that small moment of indecision to break through. But just for a moment. Leaving Willow with nothing but the Heart's frigid dark. All those past and future memories and no Tara.
She knew in that moment what was so familiar about this place and its magic. It was grief. It was that terrible night of retribution and sorrow bound and compressed into a space so small it could warp time. It was the utter and complete absence of the warmth and light that was Tara. And she was about to give herself to it again.
She didn't have the strength to pull away, but she could continue with her original plan, unmake herself and change everything. With what little strength she had left, Willow began the steps that would separate her magic from the Heart's and allow her to die safely inside the world she had made with the Heart's magic. The first and most difficult obstacle was the dark magic now pouring into her. Her own indecision and Tara's brief intervention had slowed the onslaught, but it was there. Tempting and terrifying and she knew she couldn't stop it completely. So she worked around it. Literally. Withdrawing her own energies from the spell, allowing this fragile space to contract slowly. It was excruciatingly tedious work because the sudden removal of her energy would be disastrous. She worked carefully to retract herself from the spell, but she was quickly reaching the threshold. That point on the event horizon of this place from which there was no return. That line that separated life and death. And not just her own death. The end of an entire reality.
The darkness still surrounded her still streaked through with golden red remnants of her own energy. The last shreds of herself that had to be removed before the darkness and the end would finally claim her. And that seemed appropriate somehow after everything she had done. All of her failures. Her deepest wish was another chance to say goodbye to Tara and she was denied even that. Because she had given in. Again.
How many times can I fail you Tara?
The deep cold of the dream space around her blurred and shifted into the barren landscape of her childhood nightmare -- the cold endless world of alone. Willow stood on a long, low plain, the dark thunder clouds of the spell's energy gathering above her as the deep red sun slipped slowly toward the horizon. Nice cliché she thought and cleared her mind for the final withdrawal from the world.
Oseh shalom bim'romav, hu ya'aseh shalom, aleinu v'al kol yisrael v'al kol yoshvey teveil, v'imru amein.
It came unbidden to her mind, the mourner's kaddish. Not for herself. For the world that was dying with her. For everything and everyone she had lost. Tara, Joyce.Buffy.
Oseh shalom bim'romav, hu ya'aseh shalom, aleinu v'al kol yisrael v'al kol yoshvey teveil, v'imru amein.
It was all she could remember from the kaddish and all she needed. Its sad tones echoed back to her in the voices of her grandmothers, her father and finally her own voice clear and small. As she slipped the last of herself from the knot of the Heart's magic she repeated the prayer in her mind like an incantation. Her final spell.
May the one who maketh peace in the high places, make peace for us and for all Israel and all who dwell in the world, and let us say, amen.
The heavy sing-song of it echoed over the empty surfaces of that world and she knew that she was crying somewhere. Maybe in that circle with Tara back in that perfect room. Maybe everywhere in every time.
Blessed be.
As the sun slipped below the dream horizon and the storm began its steady collapse around her a faint glow filled the sky golden and shimmering andTara. Everywhere and always.
Amein.
To Be Continued in The Finale -- 3 enormous, angst-filled, action-packed parts and (as promised) a happy ending for all. Thanks to everyone for reading and leaving the wonderful feedback.