Chapter One

Julianne sat alone in her cabin, one hand propping up her head, the other idly twirling a quill that lay on her desk. It was apparent from the look on her face that something was bothering her; something big. Reaching down, she opened the bottom drawer of her desk and grabbed herself a bottle of rum. Uncorking it, she brought the bottle to her lips then stopped suddenly. With a sigh she replaced the cork, pushed the bottle away, and returned her attention, or lack thereof, back to the quill. Checking the clock on the wall, she noticed she had been sitting there for some time and decided she had better get outside before Jack came looking for her. Grabbing her hat, she dropped the quill and headed out onto the main deck.

At the moment, the Renegade and the Black Pearl were docked fairly close to Gibraltar after a successful campaign along northern Africa's Mediterranean border, where they had sacked several merchant vessels and a few colonies. It was an area rarely charted by pirates; being heavily patrolled by the Spanish, few were willing to risk it. But Jack and Julianne had grown bored with the Caribbean and wanted a break. Promises of fresh, lucrative raids and exciting European ports had been enough to convince the crews. In all honesty, Jack had really wanted to go to Asia but Julianne had been staunchly in favor of Europe for some unknown reason. Being particularly fond of her methods of persuasion, he allowed himself to give in and the two were off across the Atlantic.

Stepping outside, Julianne noticed that both ships already sat side by side in the water, and crewmen were making their way between the two to enjoy the evening. Looking across to the Pearl, she saw Jack engaged in what appeared to be a heated conversation over what she was sure was nothing of importance. Glad for his preoccupation, she said a few "good evening's" then made for the galley for a drink of water. When she returned above deck the scene was much the same and without another word to anyone Julianne retreated to her cabin again. Thinking that she had gone unnoticed, she collapsed back in her desk chair and rubbed her temples in frustration.

Unfortunately for Julianne, there was one observant crewmember among the lot, who had noticed her strange behavior lately. Upon seeing the captain retreat into her cabin, Anamaria excused herself from the group she was playing cards with and walked the plank over to the Renegade. Saying a few "hello's," she avoided getting involved in any serious conversations and knocked on Julianne's door.

"Hmm," came the muffled answer from within.

"Ca'I come in?"

For a moment there was no answer and Anamaria could hear shuffling.

"It's open," Julianne's voice finally called out.

Opening the door, Anamaria let herself in and took the seat opposite Julianne.

"What's got you," she asked, getting straight to the point.

Julianne looked at her as though she were mad. "Nothing, why?"

"Don't lie. Ye've been actin a might funny these past coupla weeks and don't think I haven't noticed."

"Just feelin a bit under the weather is all," Julianne brushed it off nonchalantly.

"Under the weather? Jules, ye've avoided Jack like the plague, and I aven't seen ye touch a bottle o' rum in as long as I can remember."

Julianne sucked in her breath as she looked at Anamaria and prepared herself for the worst. She hadn't really been prepared to tell anyone at this point, but she figured it might be better to get it over with and Ana was definitely the best place to start.

"I'm pregnant," she said bluntly after a long and uncomfortable silence.

At this, Ana's eyes went wide with disbelief for a moment until she was able to get her wits back together and assess the situation. It made sense after all, it made perfect sense.

"How could this happen," Julianne groaned, giving in to the desire to let her head fall onto the desk.

"I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner," was the other woman's response.

"Oh come on Ana," Juli snapped as her head came back up. "You know I've always been careful about these things. I've taken every precaution known to woman. You ought to know anyway, ye were there for most of em," she finished, slumping miserably back into her chair.

"If yer referring to that job ye got done back 'ome, Maman told ye that it wasn't always permanent. That was near twenty years ago, and the body does 'ave ways o' healin itself after all."

Julianne shot her a look of annoyance, but knew that she was right. Still, she could not refrain from shooting back a snide retort. "Well excuse me if once was enough, but I hardly take to allowing someone to stab me willingly. Hurt like bloody hell, that did."

"Fine. Then ye should'ave kept up with the brew like I told you to. Ye neva listen to me. You and Jack act like I've got no bloody clue what I'm talking about all the time, and now look where it's got you." As soon as the words left her mouth, Ana wished she hadn't said them. She knew Juli was upset, and rightfully so even if she did bring it upon herself.

"Yer not helping ye know!"

"I'm sorry. How long 'ave ye known," she asked, hoping to steer the conversation in a more helpful direction.

"Coupla months. Too late to do anything about it now."

"Aye. I take it ye haven't told Jack?"

"How can I?" Juli asked, her tone growing desperate. "You know it would be enough to give him a heart attack."

"So what. Yer just gonna wait until he figures it out on his own and then is twice as ticked at ye for keepin' it from him?"

"What would you have me do? Just waltz up to him and say 'hey babe, guess what, we're havin a kid'!"

"Obviously that is not what I think. But Jules, this is serious. Ye have to tell him," Anamaria answered in a sober voice.

"I know, I know," Juli whined, lowering her head back on to her arms as the all too familiar tears began to creap their way down her cheeks. "I just don't know how."

"We'll think of something," the darker woman assured her as she came to stand behind the captain and wrapped her arms around her in a hug.

"But Jules, this is serious. Ye have to tell him."

Anamaria's words from the previous night echoed in Julianne's mind as she paced the length of her cabin nervously. She knew her friend was right, but found herself hard-pressed to go through with it. How could she? How could she tell the man she loved the one thing that would destroy his life completely? Their lives completely?

It was all too much for Julianne to bear and grabbing the full bottle of rum on her end table, she threw herself onto the bed and pulled out the stopper. Raising the bottle to her lips, she felt the trickle of warm liquid as the alcohol hit her tongue then quickly wretched the bottle from her mouth sending it crashing to the floor. Staring at the soaking wet shards that now covered her floor, Julianne was startled from her daze at the sound of someone calling to her.

"Everythin alright Cap'n," Dipst's voice sounded as he poked his head in the door to the cabin.

"Yes, everything's fine. Just dropped somethin is all," Julianne answered in a shaken.

"Ye need me to send someone in to clean up?"

"What? Oh no, I'll be fine. Just uhh, keep us movin and I'll be out in a bit."

Dipst nodded slowly, clearly not convinced with his captain's casual answer but returned back outside and closed the door. For her part, Julianne took her generally unperceptive first mate's concern to mean that she really needed to get herself together before everyone noticed. Deciding that she had already spent far too much of the day inside, she headed out herself and took up her position behind the wheel. This is much better, she thought at the presence of something to distract her from her earlier worries. The distraction didn't last long though, as the warm Mediterranean waters were calm and Julianne found her thoughts straying.

"Bottle o' rum Cap'n," a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"That's alright Dipst. But maybe a cup of water if ye don't mind."

"Not at all," he assured her with a forced mile. Turning for the galley that smile cracked into a look of genuine worry; she never said no to a bottle of rum.

Julianne watched him go, well aware of what must have been running through his mind, then looked away in exasperation. As she turned, her attention was caught by Jack standing at the helm of the Pearl. He shot her wide grin and gave a little wave when he realized she had noticed him. With a half-hearted grin, she gave a short wave back then turned away with a sigh. At this, a small pout of a frown formed on Jack's face as he continued to watch her.

Over the last few days he had tried to be as understanding as possible when Julianne had started acting strangely and brushed off his concerns saying she just didn't feel well. He had taken it in stride as she avoided him constantly, giving her space to deal with whatever was wrong. But now, after almost a week of being treated like an absolute stranger, Jack was beginning to grow both annoyed and anxious. It hurt him that after all they'd been through Julianne would keep something from him; and while his natural disposition led this to anger him, he eased this anger by reminding himself that whatever it was had to be pretty serious for her to keep it from him and that eventually she'd come around.

Julianne stayed at the wheel for the rest of the day, sipping on water and never once looking in Jack's direction again. She knew he was probably beside himself over her treatment of him, and appreciated his efforts. Still, she could not hide the truth from him for much longer, if she didn't hurry up he'd eventually be able to figure it out for himself, and then he'd be really ticked as Ana had noted. As the day finally came to its end, Julianne retreated to her cabin alone as had become the custom. Tomorrow they'd be going ashore and she was debating on whether she should let Jack enjoy himself and ruin his life after, or just get it over with. At this point she was opting for the first choice. Unfortunately for her, things were not going to work out that way.

Upon seeing her head inside along for yet another evening, Dipst was determined to get to the bottom of whatever was going on. Irritated by the fact that no one seemed to notice or care that something was wrong with Julianne, he marched himself over to the Pearl to discuss it. He knew that even if Jack and Gibbs didn't have a clue, Anamaria definitely would. Approaching where the three of them stood playing cards together, he planted himself in the fourth empty seat. They were clearly playing a drinking game because Jack immediately slid him a bottle of rum.

"Yer three rounds behind mate, drink up," Gibbs advised.

"Actually," Dipst started in reply. "There's something I wanted to ask ye's."

"What's that," Jack inquired.

"Anyone know what's botherin' Juli lately?"

His question brought nothing but silence in return. Looking at their reactions, it was clear that as he expected, Jack and Gibbs hadn't a clue. But the expression on Anamaria's face gave her away completely.

"Dunno mate," Jack answered him. "Said she hasn't been feelin well lately."

"And you believe that," Dipst chided him skeptically. "Come on Ana," he said turning his attention to the other first mate. "I know you know what's goin' on. Spill it," he demanded.

Anamaria remained quiet, and Dipst's accusation now got Jack's attention.

"Ye know what's wrong with her," he asked in almost disbelief.

She shot him a look slightly hinted with shame, and he knew Dipst was right.

"Go on then," Jack pressed her, but still she would not say.

"Jack," she began slowly after swallowing nervously. "I really think this is something ye should hear from Jules."

"Well, doesn't look as though she's plannin telling my any time soon now does it. So just spit it out."

"No Jack. I really think this is something ye should hear from her. Go on, go talk to her now."

Jack stared at her perplexed for a moment, then without a word, rose and left the group headed for the Renegade. When Jack got to Julianne's quarters, he knocked lightly then let himself in before she had a chance to answer. Finding the office space empty, he quickly made his way to the bedroom where he found himself face to face with one hell of an unusual sight. A sight that he could count the occurrences of on one hand. Sitting on the edge of her bed, head in her hands, Julianne sat crying, rocking herself back and forth.

"Jules," Jack said quietly to get her attention.

Hearing him, she looked up just barely enough to acknowledge him, then buried her face again.

"Luv, what's wrong," Jack said softly as he sat down on the bed next to her and pulled her close against him

But this time Julianne gave no indication that she'd heard him, but continued to sob quietly to herself without looking up.

"Jules come on. What is i?. Ye know ye can tell me."

"No," she whispered as she released a breath. "No Jack. I can't tell ye."

"Yes ye can. Whatever it is, ye can tell me. We've been through everything together, there's nothing ye need to keep from me," he assured her.

Still, Julianne could not bring herself to say it. Knowing that this secret was tearing her apart, Jack got up off the bed and knelt down in front of her, taking both of her hands in his.

"Jules," he began again, but stopped suddenly when she sucked in a huge breath and raised her head to look him straight in the eye.

"I'm pregnant Jack."