The Ring
Frodo picked up the Ring.
"Hullo!" he said, pleased. "I think I'll take you to Mount Doom."
"Hey Frodo," called Gimli. "Can I see the Ring?" Frodo handed the Ring to Gimli. Then, the dwarf ate it avariciously. All of a sudden, he had to go to the bathroom and he pooped the Ring out. It went down into the sewer and a rat grabbed it and ran off with it. Then, an eagle stole the Ring and got it stuck around its beak. It tried to open its mouth, but it couldn't. Then, the eagle died and after it rotted away, a leprechaun found the Ring and added it to his pot of gold. But then, a teensy-weensy midget stole the pot of gold. Then, Sam the frog prince saw something shining in the water. So he jumped into the water and grabbed the Ring. Then, he put it on and disappeared. Trug, the dwarf, stepped on Sam the frog prince, squashing him. Trug scraped Sam the frog prince's body and the Ring off of his foot and picked up the Ring, putting it in his pocket. Then, Aragorn stole it from him and cooked the Ring and Sam the frog prince, making frog legs.
"Burp!" said Aragorn. Then, out the Ring came again and everyone went after it. Gopher popped out of his hole and grabbed the Ring.
"Give me the Ring!" demanded Pooh, his eyes gone green.
"Finder's keepers!" said Gopher. So Pooh knocked him down his hole.
"Yeehrrr!" said Gopher as he fell out of the sky, even though he was really falling off of a ladder. He was imagining in his dream in the bathtub, and then the Ring went flying off of his neck and down the toilet bowl. His dog ran in and drank the water, getting the Ring caught on his tooth. Then, a cat ate the dog, a fish ate the cat, and Frodo caught the fish. When he gutted the fish, out came the cat. The cat coughed up the dog, and the dog coughed up the Ring. Frodo took the Ring and went to Mount Doom and threw it in.
Finis